Alex Wo

Wanting something requires dopamine signaling, but liking something doesn’t.

If you have a mental illness/disorder that affects dopamine, you might feel that you don’t want to do the things that you like. You do still like them. You will appreciate having done them.

Let your likes guide you.

(If you want to read more, here’s one experimental paper about it. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5171207/ This theory called the incentive-sensitization theory was originally created to explain behaviors in addiction but can be applied elsewhere as well)

Black text on a white background. It reads:

"Focus on your likes, not your wants.

You may not want to exercise, but you like how it makes you feel.

You may not want to write, but you like the feeling of accomplishment.

You may not want to wake up early, but you like the calm beauty of morning.

Wanting is the desire you feel before doing something. Liking is the satisfaction you feel after doing something. Let your likes guide you.

Surprise surprise but with adhd a main symptom is the lack of focus!

„Wanting something requires dopamine signaling, but liking something doesn’t.“ Yaaah, true. I know what I like…that still doesn’t get me enough dopamine to motivate me in order to get things done. Especially not things I don’t “want” to do, but have to.

The only things changing my brain chemistry (for a while) are a high level of pressure/stress, hyperfixation/enormous interest (on things I really liked) and/or adhd medication. (and that’s also not working when pms kicks in…). With ADHD, you operate in extremes. Just „liking“ something isn't enough (in most cases).

It also goes without saying that bioessentialism inherently can’t be trans inclusive no matter how hard you try. “All men including trans men—” probably not. “This is only a woman’s issue—” is it really? “Afabs only—” why? “All trans men are like—” what? what are they like? finish the sentence i dare you.

Assad Zaman as Armand

I get where a lot of it comes from - humans need to categorize because the world is Too Big to itemize it all.

But we have a lamentable tendency to then use those categories as morally qualitative when they are at best circumstantially quantitative.

Unfortunately, however, we chose the path of the binary. In doing so, we laid the groundwork for a kind of (societal) battle between the "two—oh-so-different!—sexes" (or genders, in this instance, as the concept is definitely a social construct).

I often reflect on the extent to which gender can be separated from biological sex—or, conversely, how deeply intertwined they are. After all, there is a wide variety of self-chosen labels—often stemming from an intuitive desire to find a "category that fits better." A great book for getting an overview of the options available is *Gender-Kram* by Loui Läuger.

I love how it doesn't matter what expedition it is.

They all turn into excited kids when they meet penguins.

The you who laughed more easily. The you who wasn’t so tired. The you who believed in things without overthinking them. It’s strange to grieve someone who still exists… but not in the same way.

Growing changes you. Hard days change you. Survival changes you. And sometimes you look in the mirror and wonder where that softer, lighter version of you went.

But here’s the gentle truth: they didn’t disappear. They grew with you.

Every version of you was doing the best they could with what they knew at the time. That carefree you? They carried hope. This current you? You carry strength, awareness, depth. You are not “worse.” You are different because you have lived.