Manic Bird Energy

the fact that at the council of elrond glorfindel is like “just throw the ring into the ocean” is so funny to me after reading the silmarillion just because it feels like the subtext is him being like “yeah let’s try maglor’s patented and tested method: Just Yeet The Accursed Fucking Thing Into The Water”

#in fairness they do do literally the other fëanorion approved method of magical item disposal #glorfindel: we could do like maglor and throw it in the ocean? #elrond: no we’re doing like maedhros and jumping into a volcano via @lesbianlanval

Those…those really are the four methods aren’t they?

Listen, Boromir knows 1 (one) ancient elven story and damn it, he’s going to ride that horse until it dies.

I don't think my body realizes how healthy my labs say I am

Hate that the term "post-nut clarity" gets applied to guilt and shame people feel after watching porn or having sex. These feelings aren't any more real or reasonable that the horniness was. You don't have clarity, you're just not horny anymore and grew up in a culture that told you to be ashamed of sex and masturbation.

the ages in dune are all fucked. they’re fucked. “the spice extends life” prove it. the books don’t even touch on this until what, miles teg? Stilgar should be like 200 years old. the baron is a spry octogenarian why tf is he grooming an heir. how is 15 the age of majority.

“the spice extends life” who cares. y’all just get die early of poisoning anyway.

think how funny it would be and how much pathos it would add to the kanly if the baron were like 300 years old and had killed like nine generations of Atreides except for the one that got got by a bull. like whack-a-mole. and this is normal.

ALSO more nobles should be addicted to the spice. adds just that extra juicy little personal touch of desperation to the control of Arrakis if somebody might miss their 222nd birthday party

ALSO ALSO you could do so much with the class angle by having Paul and Jessica reflect on the dissonance of seeing random Fremen children and unimportant nobodies running around with the blue-within-blue eyes seen only on the ultra-rich. which could go a long way towards actually depicting the appeal of casteless Fremen society as an escape from the Faufreluches system.

Putting the term "Catholic guilt" on a high shelf where fandom can't reach it until everyone learns how to identify characters who are very very clearly coded as Protestant.

how do you explain to someone that this is your sense of humour

If I ever don’t laugh at this, assume I died.