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@akaivampire

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thought about that quote "homosexuality exists in 1000+ species, homophobia only exists in one" but how awkward would it be if we discovered another species that was homophobic
"homosexuality exists in 1000+ species, homophobia only exists in two. what? oh, humans, and the yellow-patched cuboid pinecone wren that was recently discovered on an island off the coast of canada. they're fucking bigots"
Paging @acuityinnovations , who is studying a species of homophobic worm.
Tis true! Caenorhabditis elegans gets stressed and may die if it accidentally engages in gay sex ⨠(Gems and Riddle, 2000)
Oh so... They're not bigoted. They're properly fuckin scared of gay sex.
What an absolute tragedy.
so still homophobic
fandom feminism: how can i be a misogynist??? i literally made the female character a supportive woke ally queen in chapter 41 paragraph 17 of my yaoi??????
this is poetry to me
Itâs an ad but itâs actually dystopian đđ

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Happy pride to those 5 seconds where Charlie Swan thought Jacob was coming out to him in the most insane way possible
I was looking at sex toys on aliexpress (like you do) and it suggested I get a 45cm (17âł)Â Black Tourmaline Hexagonal Obelisk. I donât think thatâs a good idea
FINALLY, WE CAN TENTACLIZE THE CLOUDS THEMSELVES!Â
and now I found the ârealistic torture/execution devices for dollsâ section.Â
aliexpress is seriously the best place to look at sex toys because they canât show nudity so they have to finding other ways to show off the use of the toys.
This results in a LOT of abused food, which is always hilarious.Â
thatâs not what I was searching for and frankly at this point I canât really remember what I was searching forÂ
oh baby, slide into my chrysanthemum for some novel gameplay!
one of my favorite things is when they decide to give you the whole hard sell.
instead of just being like âhey this is a good sex toyâ, they instead try to explain why youâd even need a sex toy, from first principles. and that principle is usually âyour boyfriend/husband sucksâ. or doesnât, I guess.Â
they always end up looking like a r/wheredidthesodago commercial for lesbianism
so the sound of this sex toy is between a flower and a clock!Â
wait, a flower? do⌠do flowers make sounds?Â
Iâve posted about the Hammer Sex Toy before, but it turns out itâs not alone. Thereâs alsoâŚÂ
THE WRENCH!Â
now that is a fucking slogan
one of my favorite things is that when theyâre showing off that sex toys have a bluetooth+internet thing so people can control them remotely, they always show a world map and two points labeled with city names and theyâre ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE NEAR THE ACTUAL CITIES.Â
sex toy or vulcan starship?Â
OH MEHR SPIELMĂGLICHKEITEN!Â
this will give you the biggest orgasm of your life, but your mother will die. Oh well, thereâs other parents.
In the quiet night all you can hear is your rapid breathing
found another tool! itâs scissors this time.
Iâm not sure anyone of any gender really wants scissors near their genitals, so this may not be the best design
sometimes all I can say is âwhatâ
is this vaporwave?
I donât think thatâs how that works
your strawberries will never be safe
finally, the first robot that can eat a flan!Â
another fun trope in aliexpress sex toys: just listing off all the rooms of your house you could use it in!Â
(Unlike all those terrible dildos that donât work in the living room or kitchen)
finally the first sex toy designed specifically for wizards!Â
how it feels reading a fic that was severely undertagged
I want to show you an actual training slide from my customer service job that I had to see yesterday.
FiĹĂ ncial Harm

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was visiting a friend who has a farm, and one of the chickens has a home made flared cone on, so i asked what was up with that and she said "that's diesel, and she's suicidal" so obviously i went ??? and she pressed the door lock on her truck fob so the truck beeped, and this dumbass bird SPRINTED full tilt across the garden to shove her head in the tailpipe. she has to be locked up and coned so she doesn't gulp down toxic fumes direct from the pipe for some idiot bird reason. she is obsessed with doing this and has to be locked up any time someone is using a vehicle.
i told her i posted about this and she has an update (which i guess content warning for animal harm [the animal did it to it's damn fool self])
she found this out the first time when she auto-started her truck to warm it up before work one below-freezing morning and came out ~5 minutes later to find (the then unnamed) diesel with her head stuffed in the tail pipe hanging limply by her idiot neck and thought that she was dead, ran over and pulled her out, and the chicken went "oh hi! anyways mind if i get back in there?" and did it a-fucking-gain??
best guess is bc she feeds her chickens with a pvc gravity pipe like this
and despite having ~40 other chickens who don't fuck this up, diesel went "food comes from tubes, this is tube, â´ this is the ~secret~ food hole that the others do not know about. i will be rewarded with golden seed for being the cleverest of them all :)" and is now on 24/7 vehicle related suicide watch. fine line between docile and dumb sometimes.
my artists rendition of the morning in question
The mile-long rainbow flag being carried down First Avenue in New York City.
âFor New York City Pride in 1994 (Stonewall 25), Baker created a mile-long rainbow flag that was carried down First Avenue in Manhattan. During the parade, Baker used scissors to cut segments from the flag to be rushed to Fifth Avenue for an impromptu protest march in front of St. Patrickâs Cathedral, the headquarters of New York Cityâs anti-gay Catholic archdiocese.
^âAt the bottom of the image is the segment of the flag cut for the St. Patrickâs Cathedral protest. Photograph by Mick Hicksâ
âGilbert Baker wearing a white sequined dress (right) and other protestors triumphantly march the cut pieces of the mile-long flag past St. Patrickâs Cathedral. Photograph by Charles Bealâ
Was talking to a coworker today who explained that her grandfather was like Snow White âbut Californian. And an old man.â in that the creatures of the forest would follow him around and presumably duet with him.
âWhen he died the ravens sat in the trees outside for a week, watching. Taking turns. A horde of raccoons tried to break into the house every night, tearing at the siding. Eventually they gave up, but it was unsettling.â
âAww. They were checking on him!â I said, like a normal person. Internally, I thought âMaybe you could do the thing you do with dead pets, where you show them to the living pets so the living pet understands theyâre gone. But I guess if you did that to a bunch of scavenging species, theyâd be like âWell, thatâs very sad but he IS food now.â So what youâd need, for human sensibilities, is some sort of transparent corpse barrier. Like a see-through coffin oh thatâs what the dwarves were doing! Youâve stopped paying attention to this conversation about the loss of a beloved family member you gotta phase back in.â
oh that's what the dwarves were doing
How quickly we forget the dangerous crow boy whoâs job it is to destroy plastic

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it is okay sometimes, to just look at a thing and love it without leaving your mark on it.Â
i told you i was saddened - too many people feed wild animals, mistakenly believing âonce wonât hurtâ. too many people think that wild animals are just bigger/smaller versions of domestic animals - they see a fox running around a house on youtube and think thatâs a catdog and i could keep it. i told you that the worst part of working with wildlife was having to take care of the aftershock of this. in my state, any nondomestic animal that bites a human must be put down to check for rabies, even if we are positive the animal is safe. the government just slashed the budget again, no more EPA. around this time every year, we spend hours on the phone trying to rehome creatures that canât survive in the wild anymore - someone thought a feral animal could be âtaughtâ to be a pet.Â
a woman cries to me. the fox in the basket is growling. âi thought it was like a dog,â she says. âI didnât know it would be this much trouble.â
i told you - why canât people understand that care can look different on different bodies. that sometimes love for one thing is not love for another. that it can be selfish to want to hold something that was not meant to be held. the lovely thing is that we have plenty to hold, and each other, and a whole world; but there are things with hearts that should stay in the woods. itâs not yours to touch, is all.
you told me: let people have their fun. itâs one raccoon. itâs one bird full of bread. itâs not that big of a deal.Â
much later, long after you had been washed out of my hair and my life and my hurting - i realized you would leave little bruises on me, but hated whenever my lipstick smudged across your cheek. you used to say - i just donât like the feeling. you would bite my lip until it bled and look down at me and say - marking my territory.Â
my sister watches me fold my laundry. she says itâs nice to see me slowly coming back to happy. i thought i had been tamed by you; she saw i had actually just been broken in half. she smiles when she hears me laugh. you are regrowing your wild heart. and honestly⌠thank god for that.
One time this man approached me in a bar talking in Spanish. So I assumed he was Spanish and we started speaking, we had a whole ass conversation and at some point he was like. So what part of Spain are you from? And I said well Iâm Italian actually. What part of Spain are you from? And he was like. Iâm Greek.
One time I was in Argentina and I was so tired of trying to speak Spanish because Iâm not very good at it lmao so I broke into exasperated English and the retail seller girl quickly understood me and engaged me in conversation. We talked for a while, she introduced me to a makeup brand, and then I decided to buy it. While she was packaging the purchase, she asked me if I were from the US or perhaps the UK and I just said âoh no Iâm Brazilian hahahâ and she looked me straight in the eyes and said, in clear Portuguese, âIâm Brazilian tooâ
When my dad went to China on a work trip, his Mandarin speaking wasnât great but his listening was fine (his first language is Cantonese) and he encountered a German guy who had moved to China to work. My dad knew how to speak German because he studied it in university (but wasnât great when it came to listening to new vocab he hadnât studied before), and the German guy knew Mandarin because he lived and worked in China, so they had a conversation where my dad spoke to the German guy in German and the guy responded in Mandarin. Iâm sure it confused a lot of their coworkers who just saw the Asian guy speaking German and the white guy speaking Mandarin.
Some years ago, I worked for a manufacturing company that had a service depot in China. One of the engineers from the main office here in the US spent most of his time at the depot. The problem was that he didnât speak *any* of the various Chinese languages, and no one at the depot spoke any English. They all, however, spoke Spanish.
I love the world