marilla

I was a camp counselor at a science/nature camp when I was 16, for a bunch of 10 and 11 yr old girls. And one day while we were waiting around for the naturalist to come get us to go on the day’s hike, the boys cabin we were grouped with was exploring the area and overturned a log and found a salamander. One of the boys picked it up and they brought it over.

My girls all went “ewww, gross, keep it away!”

…right up until I said “whoa, cool, can I see it?”

This boy handed me the salamander and all of a sudden my girls were clustering around. They wanted to hold it. They were asking questions about it. They had stories of other times they’d seen a lizard or caught a frog or something. A couple of them went with some of the boys to look under another log and see if they could find another one.

Girls were found to have a higher interest that boys in science, technology, engineering, and mathematics; and

Girls outperform boys in STEM subjects and score higher on numeracy and literacy tests; but

Only 12% of graduates with STEM majors are women; and

IF Y'ALL DON'T WAKE THE FUCK UP AND SCREAM ABOUT THIS WITH ME, IM RIOTING

Please help spread

(I’ll be reblogging this with updates when I can)

For more than 15 years, Colombia's had a government made up of the same corrupt elite, making the majority of the population's living conditions unequal and precarious.

With the pandemic, the situation has only worsened.

The most recent tax reform was the drop that made the glass spill, as it mostly targets the lower and middle classes, leaving the wealthy practically unaffected.

Not to mention it was proposed with the goal of filling a fiscal gap initially caused by the corruption of this very same government.

However, this is only a small part of the problem, as violence and hunger keep rising while the government shamelessly invests in the military budget.

National private media are monopolized by the most powerful businessmen in the country (who happen to benefit from the whole situation), so misinformation is utterly out of control.

Today, the tax reform was discarded but there's an even worse health reform project (and others) on the way.

Not to mention the rising of police brutality -mostly against women and students.

The task of spreading awareness of what's happening is currently in the hands of civilians and small journalism channels that don't really have that much influence.

So, hope lies in gaining the attention of the international media, ONGs, and other entities.

Coverage/more info:

I have somethin I guess? I’ve been the Support Friend for most of my life so I managed to get it down to a formula. TW: dog death

1. Ask Questions

This is mainly to keep them talking, that way a) they feel like they have a confidante in you, and b) the pressure is less on you to Say Things. In fact it shouldn’t be about you Saying Things at all, it should be you figuring out where they’re at and trying to understand.  E.g. “My dog died, I miss him.” Ask questions, and when they start talking, let them talk. “What was his name?” “How and when did he die?” “Tell me about him.” “What was he like?” “What’s your favourite memory of him?” “When did you first meet him?” “Did you teach him any tricks?” Again the point is to keep them talking, the questions are just to get them on a roll. If you’re worrying about what to say next, listen to what they’re saying and ask details of what they’re currently talking about, or mentally prepare your next question.

2. Listen

Let them talk. The more you listen to them talk, the more they feel like it’s okay to talk to you. If they dwindle off, ask them something else to get them talking again. Upset people usually have a lot to say.

Every now and again you can throw in little sentences like “Wow, what a bitch!” “Aw, so sad.” “What the fuck? Why?” just to prove you’re still listening and following, and haven’t wandered off into space.

3. When they’re done, give it back to them

It’s a technique called mirroring. Sum up whatever you heard in short form - if they’ve talked for half an hour about the little details of their deceased pet, say something like “It sounds like he was a very good boy/sounds like he meant a lot to you/sounds like you will miss him.” It’s been known to make people dissolve into a sobbing mess, because this is the part where you prove you’ve done your homework, you listened, you care, you get it.

4. If you really want to offer a solution, ask first. You can just skip this step altogether tbh.

Only when someone has finished talking about whatever is upsetting them, ask if you can help. “Can I offer some advice?”  Now is the time for SHORT anecdotes. Short. It’s not about you sharing your story, it’s about them getting advice. Remember they don’t have to take your advice, again it’s about them and their emotions, and they know themselves best. “When my dog died, I did this. Would that help?” “I read somewhere about doing this. Maybe try that and see how it goes?”

the first thing you do is make is clear that you’ve heard and understood someone’s pain and/or struggle. you say something like, “i’m so sorry you’re going through this, it sounds really difficult.” acknowledging someone’s pain helps them to feel like you care and you’ve paid attention.

THEN you can kick in a short personal anecdote to relate to the person. to use the last person’s example, let’s lengthen this to, “i’m so sorry you’re going through this, it sounds really difficult. when my cat died a couple years ago, i was absolutely devastated. our pets are really more like our family, and losing them is so hard.”

this functions as an extension of the above effort to make the person feel heard and understood. by relating a similar experience and saying how difficult it was for you, it communicates effectively that you get what the other person is going through.

next, it’s important to distinguish between advice and support. advice is like “this is what i think you should do” but support is more like offering concepts that might be comforting and/or helpful.

so while you should hold back on advice until you’ve been asked for it or it’s appropriate to ask them if they want advice, support is usually fine to offer unprompted. (keep in mind that lots of people don’t like to be given platitudes or told “everything is going to be okay.”)

for example, after i’ve said the last sentence, i might follow up with something that going through that difficult situation taught me. “as hard as it is to let your pet go, i’ve realized that i was able to give them the best, most loving life they could’ve had during the short time they’re here on this earth, and it helps me to remember that.”

with that, you haven’t told the other person what to do or how to feel, you’ve just given an insight that they can think about and will hopefully be supportive.

obviously not every instance will be that easy to cut into these pieces, but that’s the basic framework that i try to operate in.