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The drive felt longer than it was.
Johnny didn’t remember most of it.
The road blurred into long stretches of dark highway and dim gas station lights, the kind that flicker in empty parking lots at two in the morning. His truck hummed beneath him, engine steady, tires whispering against wet asphalt.
Rain had started somewhere along the way.
Now it tapped against the windshield in a quiet, restless rhythm.
His mind was somewhere else entirely.
Every mile that passed only made the realization hit harder.
You laughing at something stupid he said.
You shaking your head when he got cocky.
The way you looked at him when he was telling a story.
You patiently explaining what some girl meant when she sent a confusing text.
“You should ask her out, Johnny.”
The memory of your words twisted something deep in his chest.
Because now he understood something that made his stomach feel sick.
You’d been helping him chase other women.
And he had been too blind to see what was right in front of him the whole time.
Johnny tightened his grip on the steering wheel.
“Idiot,” he muttered to himself.
Three hours of thinking about every conversation the two of you had ever had.
Three hours of wondering how he’d missed something so obvious.
Three hours of wondering if it was already too late.
The thought made his chest tighten.
We he arrived, your apartment building was quiet.
The kind of quiet that only exists deep into the night.
The hallway lights buzzed faintly overhead as Johnny climbed the stairs two at a time, boots thudding against the concrete steps.
His pulse hammered in his ears.
He hadn’t planned what he was going to say.
He just knew he had to say something.
Before he lost the nerve.
Johnny stopped outside your door.
For a moment, he just stood there.
Rainwater clung to his jacket and darkened his hair, his chest rising and falling with quick breaths.
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The knock came like something urgent trying to break through the night.
You woke with a sharp inhale, disoriented, staring into the dim blur of your bedroom ceiling while your brain tried to understand what had pulled you from sleep. The room was dark except for the faint blue glow of your alarm clock.
You pushed yourself upright slowly, heart beginning to thump in your chest. Nobody knocked on your door at two in the morning unless something was wrong.
You grabbed the oversized shirt hanging off the back of your desk chair and pulled it over your head as you walked toward the door, bare feet quiet against the floor. The apartment was still, the only sound the faint patter of rain against the windows.
“Alright,” you called groggily, voice rough with sleep. “Hold on.”
When you opened the door, the words died in your throat.
Johnny stood in the hallway like a man who had driven straight through a storm without stopping.
Rain darkened his hair, plastering some of it to his forehead. His jacket was damp, the shoulders speckled with droplets. His chest rose and fell heavily, like he’d been running even though you knew he hadn’t.
For a moment neither of you spoke.
“Johnny?” you said finally, confusion pushing through the fog of sleep. “What are you doing here?”
He looked at you like he hadn’t been entirely sure you’d open the door.
Like he needed to see you standing there to believe it.
“I left the date.” he said.
The hallway light buzzed faintly above him.
You glanced past him into the empty corridor, then back to his face.
“Okay,” you said slowly. “Why?”
Johnny ran a hand through his wet hair, pushing it back from his forehead. The movement looked restless, like his body had too much energy and nowhere to put it.
“Can I come in?” he asked.
The question surprised you more than anything else. Johnny rarely asked permission for things like that. Normally he would’ve already stepped inside, talking the whole time.
Something about the carefulness in his voice made your chest tighten.
He walked in slowly, pulling the door closed behind him. The quiet of the apartment seemed to settle around both of you immediately. The small lamp near your couch cast a soft amber glow over the room, catching on the water still clinging to the shoulders of his jacket.
Johnny stood there for a second, looking around like he needed a moment to gather himself.
Then he said quietly, “I think I’ve been living my whole life backwards.”
You frowned. Sleep making everything a little more… confusing.
Not the casual glance he usually gave, the quick easy one you’d known for years.
“I was halfway through dinner tonight,” he said slowly, “and I realized I didn’t want to be there.”
“Bad date?” you asked gently.
The answer came immediately.
You tilted your head slightly.
He exhaled, long and steady.
“She’s nice. Smart. Funny. Beautiful. Everything I’m supposed to want.”
Johnny’s eyes dropped briefly to the floor.
“And I kept wishing she was you.”
“I tried to ignore it,” he continued quietly. “Thought maybe I was just distracted. But then she laughed at something I said.”
Your brows knit together.
He shook his head faintly.
“It wasn’t your laugh. Didn’t… sound like yours.. didn’t.. make my chest all warm and…”
The words landed softly but they still knocked the breath from your lungs.
Johnny leaned back against the wall, dragging both hands over his face.
“…And suddenly I started remembering things…” he murmured.
You stood there watching him, the heaviness in his voice making your chest feel tight.
“You remember the first time we met?”
The question startled a small breath of laughter out of you.
“You were stealing my football.”
Johnny’s mouth twitched slightly, but the humor faded quickly.
“You had dirt all over your knees,” he said, gaze drifting somewhere past you like he was watching the memory unfold. “And you punched me in the arm when I grabbed the ball back.”
“I remember thinking you were the angriest girl I’d ever met.”
“You threatened to throw my shoe in the creek.”
“That’s because you called me bossy.”
Johnny’s expression softened, the faintest hint of a smile appearing.
“But you walked me home anyway…” he said.
Your arms loosened slightly.
“You were two streets away from where you lived.”
Silence settled between you for a moment.
The rain tapped softly against the window.
Johnny’s voice lowered again.
“You remember sophomore year?”
“You sat on the bleachers the whole night.”
“You’re a terrible liar.”
Johnny pushed himself off the wall, stepping closer.
“I asked three girls to dance that night.” he said.
“I didn’t even think about it.”
The honesty in his voice was brutal.
“You don’t have to do this..” you murmured.
“Because tonight I realized something that makes me feel like the biggest idiot alive.”
Johnny’s eyes found yours.
“I’ve spent the last ten years telling the girl I love about every other woman I thought I might like.”
The words knocked the air right out of your lungs.
“Johnny, you can’t just—”
“I drove three hours because I couldn’t sit there another second pretending I hadn’t figured it out.”
“Do you know what I remembered on the drive here?”
You shook your head faintly.
“You were sixteen,” he continued quietly. “You climbed out your bedroom window and walked three blocks to sit on the curb outside my house.”
“You didn’t say anything,” he said. “You just sat there next to me.”
Your voice came out small.
“You looked like you were going to fall apart.”
Johnny’s eyes didn’t leave yours.
“You stayed until the sun came up.”
You felt tears prick behind your eyes.
The weight in those words nearly crushed you.
“And what did I do?” he went on softly. “I grew up, joined the military, and started asking you how to text other women.”
You shook your head, voice breaking slightly.
“You look at me like I hung the bloody moon” he said.
You let out a shaky laugh.
“And I’ve been too blind to notice.”
You wiped quickly at your cheek.
“You were happy,” you whispered.
“You thought helping me chase other women would make me happy?”
“I thought if I told you how I felt, I’d lose you.”
His face softened instantly.
“You could never lose me.”
Johnny stepped even closer.
Now there was barely any space left between you.
“Tell me something honestly,” he said quietly.
Your chest rose and fell unevenly.
“Did you love me back then?”
The question felt fragile in the air.
Johnny closed his eyes briefly, something like pain crossing his face.
Your voice barely carried.
“Since we were teenagers.”
Silence wrapped around you again.
Then Johnny looked at you with something softer now.
“If I’d realized sooner,” he asked quietly, “would you have said yes?”
Your heart twisted painfully.
The answer came without hesitation.
Johnny’s gaze lingered on your face for a long moment.
Then he reached up slowly, brushing his thumb beneath your eye where another tear had slipped free.
“Can I kiss you?” he asked softly.
The question made your chest ache in a completely different way.
Johnny leaned down slowly, giving you every chance to change your mind.
When his lips finally met yours, the kiss was soft and careful at first, something long imagined finally becoming real.
Your hand slid up into his damp hair without thinking.
Johnny made a quiet sound against your mouth, his hand settling at your waist as the kiss deepened slightly.
Years of unspoken feelings collapsing into a single moment.
When he finally pulled back, his forehead rested against yours.
Both of you breathing a little harder.
Johnny let out a quiet, disbelieving laugh.
“All this time..” he murmured.
Your fingers curled gently into the front of his shirt.
“Took you long enough, MacTavish.” You teased lightly.
His smile was soft this time.
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