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She doesnât sound any less lost when she says a tentative âAmber?â
Amber always makes her feel better. Amberâs still a teenager, and sheâs better at consoling this terrified child than Tighnari thinks he will ever be. Amber gives Collei back the hope she had been so cruelly robbed off. Amber is what motivates Collei to love and live again. Tighnariâalbeit knowing that it is slightly petty and frankly absurdâwishes that he could be half the person that Amber is to Collei.
But he isnât. And he canât lie to her and pretend that he is.
...
OR: In the first month that Tighnari has Collei in his care, he can't help but feel that he is utterly unqualified for the position of her caretaker. In the midst of a panic attack, he finds that he might not be as bad of a guardian as he fears
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Could I perhaps request a fic in which Collei gets hurt (by someone, up to you how bad it is) and Cynari are there supporting/helping her? Iâm in a big hurt comfort mood and love the dads being dads
No pressure at all to actually write this! Thanks for your time anyways, and I love your work!
This was requested to me so, so long ago and I actually had a draft that was vaguely drabble-length... And then I kept changing it and adding to it and somehow 3k words later, here we are...
I will be posting this on Ao3 soon-ish, but I just need it out first and I will proofread later. Haven't decided on a title yet.
Contents: Hurt/Comfort Collei with her parental figures Cyno and Tighnari. The hurt is minimally explored, and I'm pretty dang sure this isn't what you asked for, but nevertheless.
Setting: Canonverse, set before the 3.5 Flagship event "Windblume's Breath". Collei gets hurt and the conversation that follows this incident becomes the catalyst of her inviting Cyno and Tighnari to accompany her to Mondstadt for the first time during Windblume. You are free to interpret Cynonari's relationship as platonic preslash, or established; they're not the center of this.
"She's late, isn't here?" Tighnari murmurs as he puts down the main dish for tonight's dinner, eyes looking over the window.
Collei had finished her work early that Friday, and excused herself to go on a "little trip", promising that she would be back for family dinner Sunday evening. Tighnari doesn't have the heart to tell her that Mondstadian ryegrass is scarcely found in Sumeru's forests, which are predominantly covered by zoysias and carpetgrass. The bunches of ryegrass he finds littering her bag of samples, then, is enough to prove that the little trips she's been going to aren't "little" in the slightestâNevertheless, he insists to Cyno, he's not planning to point this out any time soon.
Still, the worry in Tighnari's tone doesn't escape the Mahamatraâs ears. He knows how oddly distant Tighnari gets when it comes to Collei's 'secret' trips. Noting this, he silently pulls out a chair and gestures for him to sit down.
"She will get here eventually. Just wait." He says, taking over Tighnari's role of bringing over food from the kitchen.
Within a few seconds of him stepping away, he hears Collei's voice from the front of the hut.
"I'm home! I'm sorry I'm late, There was a passing shower and I had to stop for a while..."
"Welcome back, Collei!" Tighnari greets, smile as kind as ever. His relief only lasted a moment, though, because as soon as Collei stepped further inside, he could see that she was slightly limping.
Not to mention, she has little reason to stop her track for so long because of rain. She was wearing her coat and while it was more than just a little damp, as rainforest dwellers, coming home with a raincoat completely soaked was more than just a common occurrence.
"I'm going to put these in the kitchen and dry my clothes first, and then I'll join you guys!"
She hurriedly walks past the dinner table, motion stiff, and both Tighnari and Cyno scrunch their noses at the scent she carries. freshly cut Aloe Vera, and a bitter flower smell that Tighnari recognizes to be Qingxin.
Tighnari observes her for a while as she puts down her bag on the sofa. He glances over to Cyno with his brow raised, asking to confirm his suspicions.
Cyno has his eyes narrowed as he watches Collei and then looks over to Tighnari to give him a nod.
"I also smell blood," he whispers, barely audible.
That was all that Tighnari needed. He stands up and walks over to Collei, who so far has made no motion to remove her dampened coat, and instead has been fiddling with her stuff in the kitchen.
"Collei," He calls out, and with little to no decorum he adds,
"Show me your leg."
Collei looks at him nervously, but still tries to laugh it off.
"Err, why...?â
"What, you come to dinner smelling like you've coated yourself in blood and aloe, and you expect me to not say anything?" Tighnari scolds, arms crossed in front of his chest. And yet his expression wasn't an angry one.
"Ah... ahaha..." Collei steps away from the kitchen to sit down on the sofa instead. Partly in embarrassment, but also because she couldn't quite decipher what her Master's gaze meant.
Cyno stands up to approach her as well, and she feels the distinct sensation that she is being taken apart.
She opens her coat to show her clearly-injured left leg, and Cyno was half expecting to see an open wound. This is Collei, however; survivor of over a decade of Eleazar, and Tighnari's best pupil. So all he sees is slightly damp and dirty bandages covering her left shin.
"I did try my best! but it has been... a while..."
Since she had to dress her own wounds, Cyno summarizes. And that's a good thing. He walks over to the kitchen, working quickly to gather a new set of bandages to replace the dampened one.
Tighnari lets off an amused huff, though his expression remains pensive. The bandage was made using a different type of fabric, and the salve lacked the tell-tale hints of myrrh and zaytun peach in its odor.
"No, this is better than most emergency first-aids I've seen. You're good at it, as always. Are these Amber's usual supplies?"
"Wh- what makes you think it was Amber's?!" Collei retaliates, her stiff tone showing more guilt than she probably intended there to be.
"...Collei, we prepare our herbs and medicine ourselves. You think I wouldn't notice if you were missing half of the ingredients in your salve?" He challenges.
"Right..." Collei deflates almost immediately.
It was like second nature for Tighnari to kneel down and start taking off the bandage on her leg. Just a few years ago, these bandages were like her second skin. It was weird, seeing them on her again after so long. He gently pulled off the clip and began unraveling the damp fabric, the lower parts of which were dirtied with mud.
Shortly after, Cyno came back from the kitchen with a bowl of warm water in his hand. On his free hand he carried a wad of fresh bandages and a bag of Tighnari's healing salve.
"You seem to be under the impression that I'm not aware of your trips. Just because I do not say anything doesn't mean I don't know."
He says this with a smile, but Collei is looking away, only listening to him with a pained expression. Tighnari silently takes over the supplies that Cyno brought, dipping a clean cloth in the bowl to start cleaning the wound.
"I'm sorry..."
Her voice was strained, and it snapped Tighnari out of his motions. The hands treating Collei with the gentle yet firm mannerism built into his muscle memory now carried the weight of hesitation.
It wasn't his intention to make Collei feel guilty about anythingâLet alone about her being hurt.
A familiar sense of isolation creeps under Tighnariâs skin. He holds back a sighâ he knew that Collei would take it the wrong way. In reality, he wasn't sighing for her actions, but for his own. His position as her mentor and caretaker made it hard for him to show genuine care. After all, He isâas his best friend Kaveh would call himâa strict parent; and he was admitting this while still being adamant that he isnât her parent at all.
Hence, saying something that would be comforting for Collei right now proves to be harder than he'd like. Not because he doesn't want to say them, but he feels the explicit dread that words would fail him. Or perhaps that he would fail to say anything that would close the distance he was trying to reach.
So as he lets the wiping cloth sink into the bowl, he instead looks over to Cyno, who has been watching the two with quiet worry the whole time. He had a sympathetic expression, one that was maybe only micrometers different from his neutral oneâbut Tighnari could tell, anyway.
He ushers Cyno to step closer with a bend of his ear, gesturing for him to take over. Avoiding Collei's gaze, he stands up to take her damp coat from where it had been sitting on the sofa.
"I'll hang this up to dry for you,"
He says, and practically flees. And if Collei wasnât also hurt, she would clearly see how dejected he looked, ears and tail somehow drooping lower and lower with each of his steps.
đą
Cynoâs movements were awkward, at best. Up until a few months ago, Collei would get phantom pains just looking at himâand as much as that saddens him, he understands with utmost sincerity that what she is experiencing was a byproduct of trauma, and didnât stem from any fear she had towards him, as a person (In fact, she is not at all scared of him as a person. Her determined rouge-colored eyes really do remind him too much of Tighnari, sometimes).
Because of that, he always prioritized her comfort first and foremost, and kept his distance, even as his little heart dared to dance when she started lowering her guard, joining him in dinners with Tighnari every so often.
Nevertheless, old habits die hard, and so at present he is drying Colleiâs wound at a snailâs pace, with a delicateness that even Tighnariâs worst pupils would reprimand. He presses the damp towel like Colleiâs skin is made of paper-thin sugar glassâwhich is to say he does not press it, really, at all.
"General... Do you think Master is upset?"
Collei hasnât sounded this meek and unsure for months now, Cyno recalls. He makes a conscious effort to soften his tone.
"...What makes you say that?"
(It doesnât go all that well.)
âWell, he said heâd always know about me⌠sneaking out to Mondstadt every once in a while. But he never said anything about it. Before this, he would forbid me from going even outside of Avidya Forest.
âDo you think he just⌠got too frustrated?â
Cyno lifts his head to observe the young girl, but she only cowered even deeper into herself. He focuses back his attention to finally finish drying Colleiâs leg, putting down the cloth as he contemplated his answer.
âHmm. I do not think it is anger, necessarily.â
âB- But he must be upset, right?! That's why he acts so distant every time I come back!â
He noticed that was one of Tighnariâs newer habits, as well. He gets quiet when Collei comes back from her trip. Heâd asked about it a number of times, and Tighnari seemed to vehemently deny it, at first. Eventually, under the covers of one quiet night, Tighnari explained his reasoningâ afterwards, Tighnari only managed to justify it by saying, âCollei doesnât realize it, so it doesnât matter.â
Clearly he was wrong. Collei didnât realize why he did it, but she observes Tighnari extremely closelyâA privilege she has by being his pupilâSo closely, in fact, that Cyno trusts Collei could shoot down her own worries in the matter; She just needs a little nudge in the right direction.
â...Suppose that he is upset, why do you think that is?â He approaches.
âBecause I didn't listen to himâŚ?â
Cyno shakes his head, expression stern. His eyes convey with clarity, I know you donât truly believe thatâAnd it was true. Collei has always been a smart, reasonable child. She knows more than anyone why her Master had been so strict with her. Why he needed to be so restrictive in her activities.
Collei sighs and tries again, with more honesty.
âBecause he is worried about meâŚâ
A beat of silence, and then,
"...Surprisingly enough, no." Cyno says, and while he didnât notice it himself, Collei could've sworn she saw him smile for a split second.
"He is worried, yes, but he knows you can handle yourself well enough. He trusts you.â
âThen why⌠â Why act like that, if he did trust her?
Why must he be so protective, even months after her Eleazar had healed completely?
Cyno looks over to the kitchen, where they could both see Tighnariâs shadow reflected from the light. Collei follows his gaze and does the same. He was taking a long while, Collei notes, to put away a singular coat. She knows it was an excuse, and she thought she also knew why he needed to leave. ButâŚ
â...He is simply lonely."
She looks over to Cyno in disbelief. His expression is exceptionally kind as he said soâfull of affection and just a little bit somber. Collei only then notices that he had finished applying salve on her wound, but it wasnât Tighnariâs batch. The fragrance is masked by the Aloe Vera gel, but the blue-violet coloring indicated that it was Colleiâs original variation, one mixed with Rukkhashava Mushrooms.
âHe fears that you do not trust him enough to tell him the purpose of your trips. And today, he felt even lonelier, because you did not tell him of your injuries right away."
She remembers her master rejecting so many different iterations of the salve. It was too watery, and then too concentrated, and then too acidic⌠And then one day after countless trials, she had finally succeededâShe wonders why the failed iterations and rejections had been so easy to recall, but not the wonderful dinner she had to celebrate its completion, nor the pride she could see in her masterâs eyes as he told the story for the 14th time, and retells it again to anyone willing to listen.
Inwardly she wonders, why is it that she had doubted her masterâs trust in her, while assuming that he didnât have those same doubts himself?
â...â
âI... just didn't want to burden him. I feel like Master is always taking care of me."
She knew it was a silly worry, and now after all of this, she knew that she probably shouldnât let that get to her. But nevertheless, it was embarrassing to have her master taking care of her again, after so long. She thought she was better than this. She thought she couldnât rely on him anymore.
Now, however⌠She wants nothing more than to be proven wrong.
Cyno doesnât give her a reply, instead knitting his brows so tightly it almost seems like a display of anger at the bandages he was trying to wrap. Cyno wasnât bad at tending to wounds, of course. Both spending time with Tighnari and the nature of his job meant that he needed to be skilled at first aid. And yet Collei could see telltale signs of fear and hesitation in the way he worked the bandages up her leg. The forth wrap barely pulled taut, and the previous three already slackened and threatened to slide down at any moment.
She chuckles a little, at that. Cyno was feared by most to be ruthless and cruelâ but right now it seems like he was the one who was terrified of even the smallest of nicks on her skin. She bends down to fix the loosening wraps, expression fond.
Cyno makes some space to let her hold on to the slackened fabric, but he doesnât let go of the remaining roll. Instead he says,
âHow about this, then. Try asking him to fix this up for you.â
Collei glances at Cyno, startledâthen she quickly looks away again.
âBut IâŚâ
She can feel Cynoâs sharp crimson gaze on her skin, it reaches her very soul. And yet instead of prying open all of her secrets, it merely pushes her forward:
âJust trust me.â
And so she does.
She never truly feared Cyno the way other people seem to be. She hasnât thought of him as anything close to intimidating for years, nowâ But still, she had understood why people would conclude as such. Heâs always been a little weird (still is), and Collei certainly used to think his crimson eyes could be unnerving at times.
Now though, Collei doesnât think she has ever been given as much courage as Cyno is giving her.
She nods, and Cyno finally hands her the roll of bandages, stepping away to let her speak to Tighnari.
Tighnari, who has been pretending to not hear their entire conversation.
(He really tried to not listen. He really, truly did. Sometimes he wishes he has the blessing of a normal hearing range, but alas, he does not.)
And Collei knows heâs only pretending not to hear it because, well, itâs Tighnariâ But also because, when she casts her gaze to the kitchen, his treacherous tail was very tightly wound on his right thigh. This is something he does when he is actively trying to stop it from swishing.
She smiles a bit at that. In a sudden burst of shamelessness she can really only blame Cyno for, she calls out,
âMaster?â
Tighnariâs ear twitches, and he very slowly turns his head to look at her, expression almost alarmingly even.
âYes?â He asks, and Collei draws a breath and says,
"Um... Could you help me with this?"
Instantly, Collei could see Tighnari's face light up.
"Of course."
Collei is asking her master a favorâsomething she had spent most of her adolescence feeling guilty aboutâand her master looks at her as if she had just hung the very stars.
It is funny, Collei thinks back again. Since when was her master so excited about dressing wounds? His words certainly didn't show it; he rambled on his usual speechâone she had heard a thousand times, about applying enough pressure and keeping the salve spread evenlyâbut she didn't recall it ever being delivered with such a relieved tone, before now.
She could not see her master's expressions, but if the silent swishing of his tail is any indicator, she's pretty damn sure he is smiling.
Which is silly, considering she was also pretty damn sure he was angry at her just moments ago.
She looked up to see Cyno watching them from his seat. wordlessly, she mouthed a 'thank you' at him, who responded with a dutiful nod. This time, his soft expression does not slip Collei's notice, and she feels proud that she is able to read him just a little better these days.
âPlease tell Tighnari where youâre going, next time.â Cyno comments from behind Tighnari.
âOkay.â
âAnd ask for help if you are injured.â he adds, and Collei could see the tip of Tighnariâs ears warming into a peach color.
âOkay.â
âAnd donât stay away forââ
âThatâs enough..!â Tighnari cuts him off, his ears bend down in annoyance with tail raised stiff. His entire face seemed tinted with pink, now.
Cyno doesn't say anything in response, his expression barely a smirk. Collei couldnât help but let out a giggle as she heard her master sigh.
â...Iâ You donât have to do any of that if you donât want to, of course. Itâs⌠I justâŚâ
Collei chuckles, âMaster, I know. Itâs okay.â
âYes, well. you know now, because Cynoâs a snitch, but I havenâtâŚâ
âGeneral Cyno only told me because you didnât.â She dares herself to grin, and Tighnari looks positively aghast.
He shows an angry faceâ At least, Collei assumes itâs supposed to be, but his eyes were glassy with unspilled tears, and his tail was still swishing, so it isnât really all that intimidating.
âI wanted to tell you myself, you know,â He starts, slowly turning his frown into a soft smile.
âI want to tell you Iâm worried about you. And I want to tell you that I will keep worrying even if you become the toughest, best, most amazing Forest Ranger there is. Because I'm selfish like that.
âI wanted to ask you⌠to let me tend to all of your wounds, even if you become the best Amurta researcher or the best doctor in Birmastanâ I wanted to ask you to trust me enough to do that. Because I care about you.â
Colleiâs breath hitches.
â...I do trust you, though.â
Tighnari hums, positively beaming, now. âI know, Collei. I know you do.â He says, and adds,
âI should be saying sorry for not expressing myself clearly, before.â
Colleiâs answer was almost instantaneous, âThere is nothing to forgive!â
â...I'm also sorry for not telling you where Iâve been going. And about the injury.â
Itâs Tighnariâs turn to chuckle this time, face impossibly kind as he says,
Iâm tired of people acting like Zhongli is a serious and chill guy who would never cause problems on purpose as if he isnât one of the biggest menaces out of the Seven. He used to throw mountains at Venti for annoying him. He, the god of history, starts fights among historians for shits and giggles. He tried to gaslight the Traveler into thinking he was totally not at the Chasm guys really Aether/Lumine you must be seeing things maybe you should go see Baizhu. When Qiqi wanted âCocogoatâ milk he was like âOh yeah sure totally letâs go look for itâ knowing damn well it was a wild goose chase. He made the Traveler sing to a flower and then was like âOh would you look at thatâ when a Whooperflower jumped out to maul them. I love him. Heâs like a cat pushing things off the counter to see how people react. I would pay to see him interact directly with Neuvillette because I know for a fact heâd get on that manâs nerves and argue about water tasting just to feel something. Furina used freedom from godhood to take a nap and Zhongli used it to give psychic damage to anyone who talks to him longer than 5 minutes. Iconic.
so ao3 just posted an update with a cheat sheet of things you can sort/filter works with, and i was scrolling and there was nothing particularly interesting and then i hit this one:
otp: true for works tagged with only one relationship (experimental!) Â Â
can be used by itself or in combination with a specific relationship tag (e.g. chosen from the filtering options)
will exclude all A/B works where A/B might only be a side pairing, but also all A/B works with other side pairings) Â Â
will include works with multiple relationship tags if theyâre all synned to the same canonical tag
basically, what this means, if that if your ship is a side ship the majority of the time, if you type otp: true into the search bar in their tag, it will exclude ALL fics tagged with another ship. as the quote states, this includes fics where your ship is the main pairing, and thereâs a side ship, so itâs not perfect, but itâs a heck of a lot easier than playing around with getting rid of other categories and manually deselecting relationships in the way the new search lets us do
i used to read quite a lot of sara/felicity, but it was pretty much IMPOSSIBLE to find because they were often a side pairing to olicity, and these ships would show up at the top of the sort by kudos because they were big ones. this gets rid of all of those with literally one click.
as a (temporarily on hiatus) ao3 volunteer, i really like making sure people know what this amazing website can do, so pls spread the word, because i think this is going to be really helpful for people whose otp is most commonly a side ship. iâve been there, and hope this can help ppl
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Can we have some twin brotherly moments? Like ones where they were like "maybe I dont wanna sock this guy in the face everytime I see him" moments
ahh, siblings
tws: allusion to homophobia
iâve mentioned that Remus will occasionally print obscure memes out on the wireless printer in Romanâs bedroom at 3 AM just to be a pain in the ass, but heâll also print out Remus-y messages of encouragement whenever Romanâs locked himself inside to brood over something
even though they genuinely couldnât stand each other in high school, Roman and Remus would still make an effort to check up on each other back then as well, even if âchecking upâ simply entailed sitting by each otherâs sides in silence for a while after particularly emotional events; they may have been pseudo-enemies, but they were siblings, too
Remus is a horrible secret keeper, and his parents instilled within him an active desire to see Roman fail, but when he caught Roman kissing another guy from his fencing team their sophomore year of high school, he made the executive decision to take that secret to his grave; (he may have wanted his parentâs approval, but he drew the line at outing his brother to them)
Roman and Remus share a Spotify account, so it isnât uncommon for one of them to start playing a song out on the otherâs phone For the Laughs; itâs annoying and inconvenient and also Very Fun
both of them do that thing where one of them gets bored, goes into the otherâs room, and just,,, stands there silently until the other finally asks what tf they want
Remus argues and wrestles with Roman every time Roman pulls the âBig Brotherâ card, but itâs actually??? really validating to hear Roman acknowledge Remus as his Little Brother after so many years of ignoring him?????? emotions are weird
Roman once spent six hours helping Remus paper mache a mannequin head for an art project that he put off until the last minute
for Christmas their junior year of college, Roman gave Remus a scrapbook of a bunch of art that Remus had drawn as a child; Remus had (correctly) assumed that their parents trashed his art, but he didnât realize until that moment that Roman had taken the effort to recover every single piece from the trash when their parents werenât paying attention
A/N : This is over 1k words and I donât know if a lot of it makes sense but I hope some of you enjoy it anyway!
Pairing : Familial! Dukeceit
Warnings :Â Remus angst, child Remus, mentions of pain/past pain, abandonment, please let me know if I should add any others!
MasterpostÂ
âââââââââââââ
Deceit always kept his lamp on when he slept.
It wasnât because he was afraid of the dark. In fact, the deceiving side much preferred the darkness or dim lighting, as it wasnât much of an eye strain for him. He could fall asleep easier in the pure abyss of shadows too.
Sanders Sides Human AU with Intrulogical where Logan is a new teacher in school who always excuses his mistakes, messy work, and being late, by telling something about Remus.
âIâm sorry for not grading your papers on time. I had to take Remus to the hospital. He fell off the tree⌠Like an idiot he is.â
âI know my handwriting on this notes is all over the place. I apologize. Remus fell asleep on my lap when I wrote them and I, figuratively, didnât have a heart to wake him up. He was very tired and looked so lovely and peaceful.â
âSorry for being late againâŚâ The group he teaches is like: ââŚwhat did Remus do this timeâŚ?â ââŚhe knocked my alarm clock off the nightstand and it smashed in the middle of the night, so I didnât even know itâs not working.â
â
Until finally, one day, the group notices that Logan has a new ring on his finger and they ask him some questions about it, because he seems more happy and enthusiastic (in his toned down, calm way) than normally. It doesnât take much for Logan to just giddily blurt out: âRemus and I got engaged!â Because heâs too full of emotions (ugh) to just keep them all inside⌠But instead of congratulations and cheers he is met with about 30 pairs of wide, unblinking eyes.
Finally someone says: ââŚbut⌠but Remus is a catâŚâ
Apparently, throughout the entire year, Logan has not mentioned, even once, that he is talking about his, very much human, boyfriend (now fiancĂŠ), not a wild and chaotic pet that makes his life more difficult that in needs to be.
So he tries to clarify: âNo, heâs not. Remusâs my boyfr⌠fiancĂŠ.â
Which clarifies nothing, because the class remembers so much about Remus and it just doesnât add up.
âBut he bit you once⌠you were in class with a bandage on your hand.â Loganâs like: âThat was an accident. Also, heâs very weird, so itâs not unusual for him.â It seems like a lame excuse, so they continue the investigation. âBut you said, you found him in a trashcan.â And Logan just nods. âYhm⌠yeah, I did. I was throwing out the trash and he was looking through the bags for something to add to his newest sculpture about rotten morality. Heâs an artist. Iâm pretty sure Iâve mentioned that at some point.â (he hasnât)
They go back and forth like that for a few minutes until one of the students realizes that they actually heard about the artist Logan is talking about and after a quick search through his social media they find a confirmation that the guy not only exists, but also proposed to his partner a few days ago.
â
From this day Logan always plays a one-sided secret game with all the new groups he teaches to check how many things he can say about Remus without his students realizing, that heâs not in fact a wild animal he illegally keeps at home. Some people thought he was a racoon, some believed heâs a half-domesticated cat. Hardly anyone assumed heâs human.
Most new groups donât realize the truth until the very end of the year when Logan invites Remus to talk about his job while he sits next to him and enjoys the look of slow realization on peopleâs faces. (Older students play this game along helping Logan with keeping the illusion that the Remus who jumps out of the windows, scratches the couch, and likes to eat weird things heâs not supposed to eat is actually their teacherâs beloved husband.)
i used this post by @suibianbichen and this post by @coconut-cluster as a reference, thank y'all for a) making them and b) inspiring me to make this!!
this is based on my observations from the series, interpretations differ and that's okay!! if you have something to add, feel free to let me know :D
Virgil
rarely dominant in conversation
communicates easily (occasionally non-verbally) with logan; struggles with roman (speech overlaps, roman dominates), patton (tries, but often overwhelmed); cuts communication with janus (ignores, cuts off), remus (doesn't engage)
"oh, for crying out loud"
very thoughtful speech, often weighted, pauses between words
struggles to get words out when anxious
either flat or urgent tone
very good at understanding non-verbal communication
bites thumb
messes with clothes when anxious/uncomfortable
will make up nicknames
small gestures with one hand while looking for words
two-fingered salute!!
barely uses visual metaphors, pulling on brief pop culture/meme references instead
communicates easily with virgil; struggles with patton (disregards, conversational styles clash); clashes with roman (argue, roman dominates, cooperation unintentional/non-existent); cuts communication with remus (disregards); insufficient data surrounding logan/janus
less impulse control than we give him credit for (throws stuff A Lot without thinking)
confident in his knowledge
common gestures: raises eyebrow, adjusts glasses, furrows brow
goes silent when interrupted or stutters massively (easy to throw off his rhythm)
very clear speech, sure in what to say before he says it
becomes barely more urgent when frustrated, struggles with expressing anger in a healthy manner so it seems to come "from nowhere" when he reacts explosively
struggles to express emotions
Does Not Sugarcoat (states positives and negatives side-by-side when only one is appropriate) -> comes off as harsh while interpreting others as idealistic, avoidant, secretive
don't just pull out a thesaurus for his dialogue; he doesn't speak outside the realm of regular understanding, just a little more complex
rarely uses visual metaphors, quotes sources instead, states facts clearly -> relation to topic occasionally unclear to others
unempathetic
(use few dialogue tags)
sigh, nod, correct, start, huff, pause, frown
Patton
dominates conversations when pressed to (often by thomas)
communicates easily with roman (clown-to-clown communication, Brain Go Fast and they keep up with each other), janus (often opposing viewpoints but similar communication); struggles with virgil (tries, but often ends up overwhelming), logan (emotional/heavily metaphorical style clashes with logan, often disregarded); no communication with remus (distracts from, takes too seriously, intimidated by)
not as soft as fanon pat, rather quirky -> a bit random
clumsy, also in gesturing
Does Not want to talk about his feelings but will immediately take to others'
Brain Go Fast from topic to topic -> fast speech
very willing to change, will play some follow-the-leader if he thinks it'll help
always believes he's at least a little in the wrong
that super strained smile he does when he wants to Move On Now
metaphors!! weaves topics together to make them more relatable/understandable to the individual, gets a bit carried away with them
impulsive when comfortable in a situation
puns!!
easily overwhelmed
struggles with words, keeps speech light, externalises feelings
communicates easily with patton (clown-to-clown communication, similar associations/can easily follow thought highways); struggles with virgil (often speaks over, sensitive to anxiety); clashes with logan (nicknames, speaks over, talks past Entirely); non-communication with janus (is manipulated/flattered or clearly antagonises); hostile towards remus (insufficient interaction)
he is So Extra
rhymes!! and yells!! and gestures holy fuck where do i just get a masterlist of all the roman stuff roman does
someone said his speech is somewhere between a medieval prince and frat boy and yeah that works
if anyone figures out the secret to roman dialogue please tell me i'm begging you
confident in his opinion until it's unmistakably disproven -> will argue until the very end
Brain Go Fast
no impulse control -> says really weird things
speaks a lot and very fast, metaphors are grandiose and sometimes miss the point a little
parallel: patton (occasionally) notices when metaphors get away from him, roman doesn't (corn vs. feral cats)
associations with pop culture (especially disney), mythology, etc
when he's uncomfortable he does a sorta half-smile and looks away
insufficient data surrounding remus/janus and remus/roman; does not communicate with the other sides (disregards, brushes off, threatens, speaks over)
takes parts of what others say and adds onto own point (without speaking to them)
Brain Go Fast
constant need to be the loudest presence in a room (reacts to everything he can)
gestures are quick, seem controlled (if impulsive)
no impulse control -> says Anything that comes to mind
quickly desperate when ignored
tends to throw out fractures of ideas, barely/not elaborating on thought process
sing-songy, shrill tone
playful/childish in a kinda creepy way
there's not a lot to say about him because he's barely present
no (apparent) empathy
jeer, grin, pout, wink, wave, snarl, shriek, sing
Janus
purposefully dominates conversations: does this subtly (steers/takes over topic more than speech)
communicates easily with patton (opposing viewpoints but similar communication style); unequal communication with roman (manipulates, flatters, purposefully misunderstands, abuses weaknesses); non-communication with virgil (virgil ignores, cuts off, argues); insufficient data surrounding janus/logan and janus/remus
flat speech (seems sarcastic)
uses sources, simple metaphors/examples to explain points
small gestures, always seem intentional (performative)
acts superior, condescending
short fuse
struggles to adjust to others' points of view
messes with/looks at gloves(/hands) a lot
mostly calm/honeyed tone
feigns innocence sarcastically when attacked for anything
low empathy, high sympathy for others (knows, but doesn't feel what others feel)
smirk, hiss, coo, deadpan, sneer, grimace, sigh
like i said, this is an incomplete referenceâfeel free to add on! my general recommendation for writing any fanfiction, really, is to rewatch some of the source material to get a feeling for the character voices (videos i'd recommend for this: lntao, dwit, svs:r)
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Summary: Remus after Janus leaves, angst. Song fic, wolf in sheepâs clothing by set it off.
Ha ha ha, this is about you!
Remus scribbled angrily across the portrait he'd been working on for over a month. Sitting on his bed, surrounded by art supplies that all seemed so pointless now, this was his latest work and it was pointless now! It was almost finished, but now it was taking a new direction. Remus growled in his throat as he angrily slashed out the eyes with his charcoal pencil.
Deceiâno, Janus, Remus corrected himself bitterly. The name spoken to someone besides him first makes him angry too. Everything about what happened does. That, that snake didn't trust him with it. Maybe that's for the best, especially if he was going to...to just leave anyway.
Like Virgil. Except Virgil had told Remus his name. Virgil had been Remus's best friend. Janus's too. They were both so important to him, and he...he thought he was important to them too. Clearly they had lied to him. Everything had been a lie and he hadn't seen it! He let out an anguished scream as he reached over and flung the nearest breakable thing he could find. His bedside lamp shattered against the far wall.
Beware, beware, be skeptical
Of their smiles, their smiles of plated gold
Remus remembered all the times Virgil swore he wasn't going to leave. Then he remembered the weeks after he had, Janus had sworn to him over and over that he wouldn't abandon him. He'd given Remus that smile, not the smirk, the real smile, well, what Remus thought was real...
Deceit so natural
Remus had fallen for all of it! He'd even trusted that liar not to leave him! Believed they were famiâfriends! And look what he was doing! Remus felt hot tears at the back of his eyes, he let them fall. He jumped up off the bed, blinded by the moisture in his eyes and threw his artwork of the snake at the wall. He wanted to give it to Janus as a gift, now it was a cruel reminder that he was alone now. He screamed and punched a hole into his bedroom wall. Memories of Janus filling his head as he did.
But a wolf in sheepâs clothing, is more than a warning...
He punched the wall over and over, the thing crumbling easily beneath his fists, blood trailed down his knuckles and he just kept punching the wall. He remembered all the times Janus had told him he wasn't bad. "Good and bad is all made up nonsense," he'd told the crying creativity when they were younger after Roman had called him wicked. Maybe he really was no good. Maybe that's why everyone was leaving him.
Bla-bla-black sheep, have you any soul?
No sir, by the way, what the hell are morals
Jack, be nimble, Jack, be quick
Jill's a little whore and her alibis are dirty tricks
He thought about how Janus lived with the light sides now. How he spent time with his brother, the good creativity. How he hadn't spoken to Remus since he left. It'd only been a week, but it wasn't like Remus lived on the other end of the world.
So could you
Tell me how you're sleeping easy
How you're only thinking of yourself
Show me how you justify
Telling all your lies like second nature
Listen, mark my words, one day
You will pay, you will pay
Karma's gonna come collect your debt
Aware, aware, you stalk your prey
With criminal mentality
You sink your teeth into the people you depend on
He was probably baking cookies with Patton, or discussing philosophy with Logan, hanging out with Virgil like Remus had wanted to do since the anxious side had left. Discussing plays with his brother. With the good guys. He probably wasn't even thinking about him. He wasn't going to come see Remus. That was just another one of the endless lies.
   Remus bit his cheek hard enough to make it bleed as he punched the wall one final time, sliding to the floor and spitting out the blood. Maybe, the others will see he's not a nice guy, that they had him right all along, then he'll come back, he'll have to, where else will he go? But maybe, maybe Remus won't take him back, he thinks cruelly, then, he can see what it's like to be left alone. What it's like to be unwanted...
Infecting everyone, you're quite the problem
Feefifofum, you better run and hide
I smell the blood of a petty little coward
Jack, be lethal, Jack, be slick
Jill will leave you lonely dying in a filthy ditch
So could you
   Now he was probably listening to all of them as they talk about how bad Remus is. What has to be done with him. Maybe Janus will be the one to get rid of him, send him somewhere he can't come back from. He doesn't think any of the others have the stomach for it. Except maybe Roman.
   Worse yet, they could also try to convert him. Try to make him "good" like they think Janus is. Like they think they all are. Make him into their cute little creativity. With a little behavioral problem that can be controlled with just enough force. Years ago Remus wouldâve been happy with their attention, but now the thought of them trying to change him, and their disappointment when they realize it canât be done, make him feel sick, and not in a good way.
Maybe you'll change
Abandon all your wicked ways
Make amends and start anew again
Maybe you'll see
All the wrongs you did to me
And start all over, start all over again
   Then again, maybe Janus really was just busy, Remus thought hopefully. Maybe he'd come see Remus, after all, they were all the other had for years. Surely...surely that was worth something?
Who am I kidding?
Remus quickly crushes the hope.
Now, let's not get overzealous here
You've always been a huge piece of shit
Remus thinks about running over there and yelling at the snake. Or hitting him. His hand itches to just grab his mace and turn the tears into a powerful swing. That would be better than this.
If I could kill you I would
But it's frowned upon in all fifty states
He doesnât want to keep dwelling on this, heâs tired of crying. Tired of being pathetic. He doesnât need Deceit anyway. Heâs fine. Fuck the snake, heâs better off without the bastard.
Having said that, burn in hell!
Remus refuses to spend another minute thinking about this. The traitor doesnât deserve his grief. He doesnât deserve anything. Well, Remus thinks wickedly, he deserves whatâs coming to him. He slaps the crumpled portrait onto his wall, a pin through the heart holding it up. He grabs his mace and slips out the door.
Remus gripped the steering wheel hard and closed his eyes shut, preparing himself for the crash but it didnât come.
Of course it wouldnât, not with the gorgeous Logan right beside him. He quickly took control over the vehicle and parked it safely, without saying anything.
AO3 is great in many ways, but it has some flaws. One problem is that fics which are on the top page or two when sorting by kudos/comments/bookmarks tend to be the easiest for new fans to find, which leads them to get even more kudos/comments/bookmarks. A fic which establishes itself early in a fandomâs history can easily amass an insurmountable amount of feedback compared with most fics in the fandom.
Sanders Sides fandom suffers from this effect too - 85% of the top 20 most-kudosed fics were originally uploaded (Date Posted) in the first year and a half of the fandomâs existence - that is, the period Jan 2017 - Jun 2018. The most popular of these has more than twice the kudos of the most popular fic posted after this period. There is nothing wrong with these fics in and of themselves - Iâve read and enjoyed most of them! - but itâs a little unfair to the great fics that came later.
So to share the love around, Iâve put together a list of some of the most-kudosed fics that didnât make the top 20 and that date from later on in the fandomâs history. This isnât necessarily a rec list - I havenât read most of these myself! - but itâs a guide to some more modern fics that could be worth your attention.
Thanks for reading!
Originally Posted July - December 2018
The Black Hole Group Chat - Greenninjagal - 1746 kudos
Like It or Not - crystalxcobweb - 1130 kudos
Sleeping on Secrets - journalanxiety - 1122 kudos
living in the real world (ainât it fun) - teacupfulofbrains - 1049 kudos
No Starting Over - centreoftheselights - 1041 kudos
Three Times Virgil Didnât Notice (And the One Time He Did) - journalanxiety - 1035 kudos
Secrets - DakCake - 1032 kudos
Falling for You (Literally) - charlesss - 1007 kudos
Offer Me His Lips - centreoftheselights - 1000 kudos
ao3:Â ânight time routineâ
rating: T
warnings: touch starvation, sympathetic deceit, sympathetic remus, intruloceit
genre: fluff
description: Deceit has a message for Logan.
âYouâve been working too hard,â Deceit announces, appearing in Loganâs doorway. Logan looks up, and Deceit can see purple bruises of exhaustion beneath his eyes.
âIâm fine,â Logan insists. Deceit flicks his forked tongue out, not bothering to hide the distaste on his face when he tastes the bitterness of a lie.
if it hasn't been done yet (re the bad things happenbingo) could I ask for either amputation or damaged wing(s) with Remus please? I love what you've done with the prompts so far
Warnings: Amputation, hospitals, diseases, talk of surgery.
Characters: Remus, Patton, mentions of Roman, Logan, Virgil, and Janus.
Remus couldnât fucking stand hospitals. Just the smell alone made Remus want to stay far away from hospitals for his entire life. Like, Remus got it. The people who worked there saved lives and the world would probably die without them. But Remus really hated hospitals. Maybe the problem was that they didnât get enough money? Or that usually only shitty things happened at hospitals? Or maybe because of how many times Remus had been in one recently and he had only gotten shitty fucking news?
Whatever. No matter the reason, hospitals were still at the top of Remusâ shit list at the moment.
Plus, the gowns were itchy. Though, that might just be Remusâ opinion. He currently had one tied around in and was lying in a bed, waiting impatiently for the stupid kiddie clock - which was actually pretty cool because it was shaped like an octopus - hung on the opposite wall to hit three oâclock. Remus was so ready for this to be over with so he could go back home. Roman had promised to make whatever he wanted for dinner when Remus came back and Remus was so craving pancakes with cheese sauce.
Remus sighed and glanced over at his Dad, who was sitting next to him and reading a battered old Highlights magazine. âHow much longer,â he whined, giving Patton his best pout. âWeâve been waiting here forever!â
âWeâve been waiting here for two hours, Sweetie,â Patton said gently, putting the magazine down on his knee. He glanced at the clock hanging opposite from them. âWell, it looks like you only got about twenty more minutes to go, Hon. Are you nervous?â
The question had been asked so many times by so many people lately that Remus could barely manage a scoff. âMe? Nervous? Nah, not at all! Hey, itâll be pretty cool, if you think about it!â He forced a gasp and grabbed Pattonâs wrist. âDo you think theyâll film it? Could I watch it later!?â
Patton laughed and shook his head fondly. âI donât think so, Kiddo. But Iâll ask your doctor, okay? But if we do get it then no showing your siblings, okay? Especially donât let Virgil catch you watching it, he would have nightmares for weeks. Heâs already so worried about today.â
Remusâ jaw clenched at the memory of his two-year-old brother sobbing just a few hours ago and trying to cling to Remusâ hand. Virgil hated hospitals just as much as Remus and, unlike Remus, he didnât have the maturity and wisdom that Remus had to understand why he hated them or remember just how long he had spent there as a baby. âHe doesnât have any reason to worry,â Remus spat, hating the pit of fear that was growing in his gut. âThe doctors said that this is the best option for me and even if Iâll have to do therapy and stuff, I should be just fine.â
âOh, Honey, heâs only a toddler, he doesnât understand whatâs happening,â Patton said gently, taking Remusâ hand and squeezing it. âAll he understands is that his big brother is in pain and is going away to a scary place and is going to come back without one of his legs. Heâs much too young to know what osteomyelitis is.â
âIâm fourteen and I donât even fully understand what this stupid disease is,â Remus muttered, crossing his arms. So many people had tried explaining it to him and all Remus fully understood was that some stupid fungi had injected his right leg bone and they had caught it so late that amputation was the only option. âBut I know that he shouldnât be worried. Itâll be fine and he didnât need to be crying so much. Logan and Roman werenât crying.â
And, no, Remus wasnât disappointed that Logan and Roman - old enough to understand what was happening - didnât cry like Virgil had or looked worried. Not that there was any reason to be worried but it wouldâve been nice for them to pretend to be worried!
Patton squeezed his hand again, looking down at him sympathetically. âTrust me, kiddo, they were crying plenty last night. Loganâs been looking up the operation ever since he learnt what you have and Roman is so scared about his twin. They were trying to be strong for you, thatâs-â
âBut thereâs no reason to be worried,â Remus cried, throwing out his arms in frustration. âThere isnât, Iâm going to be fine and thereâs no reason for anyone to worry!â His eyes were filling with sudden tears and his jaw trembled with the force of keeping them back. âI-Iâm gonna come home and annoy everyone a-and t-they donât need to worry âbout me cause I am gonna be f-fine!â He sobbed and pressed the palms of his hands into his eyes, images of all the things that could go wrong flashing through his mind.
Arms wrapped around his shoulders and pulled him forward until he was leaning against his dadâs chest. âShhh, shhhh, youâre okay, youâre going to be okay,â Patton cooed, rubbing a hand up and down Remusâ back. âYouâre gonna be fine, kiddo.â
âTheyâre gonna take my leg,â Remus sobbed, gripping Pattonâs shirt so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. âD-donât let them take my leg, donât let them, Papa!â
âOh, Kiddo,â Patton sighed, resting his cheek on the top of Remusâ head and holding him close. âSweetheart, I wish I could stop them from taking your leg. If I could, Iâd take this infection and put it in my own leg so you wouldnât have to lose yours. But I canât, Sweetie, and Iâm so sorry. And I know this is very scary but Iâll be right outside the room the entire time. And Iâm going to buy you the best prosthetic that money can buy, I promise.â
Remus sniffled and he rubbed at his eyes, looking up at Patton sadly. âO-one with some design?â
Patton gave him a wobbly smile and nodded, kissing Remusâ forehead. âIâll buy you two. A plain one and one with any design that you want on it. Weâll do it together, okay baby?â
âOkay,â Remus sniffled, leaning back against Patton and closing his eyes. â...How long now?â
â...Two minutes.â
Remusâ breath hitched and he fought back the urge to vomit. Itâd be hilarious but then theyâd have to wait even longer for this surgery to take place. âIâm scared,â he admitted softly. âIâm so scared, Papa.â
âIâll be right outside the surgery room and Iâll be right there when you wake up,â Patton promised softly, sounding like he was holding back tears. It made Remus want to dig a hole in the ground and cry. He was making his Papa cry. âAnd as soon as the Doctors say youâre ready, weâll go home and see your brothers and Uncle Janus, okay?â
Remus sniffled and nodded, wiping away the tears trailing down his cheeks.âOkay,â he whispered. He let out a shaky breath and forced a smile. âItâll be okay.â
âRemus?â The two of them turned to see a Doctor and a Nurse waiting for them. âWeâre ready for you.â
Remus glanced at Patton nervously and got a confident smile in return. âYouâll be okay,â Patton said, looking so sure that he might as well had been saying that the sky was blue. âIâll be right next to you when you wake up, okay?â
âOkay,â Remus said softly, turning to the Doctor and Nurse. âIâm ready.â
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Summary: Patton has seasonal depression and canât sleep, and Logan tries to help with cuddles and sweet words. It kinda works.
Pairings: LogicalityÂ
Words: 1113
Warnings: Patton is depressed, self depreciation, talk of not taking meds
Read on Ao3
âŚ
Patton sighed and rolled over to look at his alarm clock. The numbers 5:45 flashed back at him with a harsh red light. Thinking there was no use in continuing trying to fall asleep, he stumbled out of bed and fished for his phone and earbuds, trying not to wake his boyfriend.Â
