they're pretty good together

A lot has happened in six months, honestly. I think the last time that I used tumblr was for my annual New Year’s Eve post reflecting back on the year...but after that, I went cold on this website because I wasn’t really watching any shows. This was mainly due to the fact that I was so busy with school, my personal life, and clubs/work/everything, so I’m sorry I abandoned this blog. I can’t really promise that I’m going to stay/be active again, but I was stalking myself tonight and I thought it would be nice to say some words about how my life is going. 

Honestly, I’m really happy right now. I think that life is going my way (finally) and I can breathe a fresh breath of air and relax a little bit. I just got out of my second year of college about a month ago and I’m taking a spring semester class, so I’m still here at college until the end of June. I’d say I did okay (not my best) this past year, but it was a SUPER hard year so I’m glad I managed to push through all of the difficult classes that I needed to. But it doesn’t end because my life is going to be full of difficult science classes hahaha!!!!!!!!!

I have a boyfriend, as I mentioned in my New Year’s Eve post. He is the greatest person in my life right now. As of now, we’ve been dating for almost 8 months and this has honestly been some of the happiest 8 months of my life. I truly cannot imagine my life without him because he makes me so happy and it feels like we were meant to be in each other’s lives. Yes, that does sound gross and mushy, but I think I somehow believe it. He makes me laugh, he does all of the little things for me, and he loves me. The only bad thing about this is how far apart we are. We were together in the same city/college for the first 6 months of our relationship until he officially was done with college and had to move back to where his job is currently located. He moved back last month. Long distance is really, really hard. I know people say that long distance is the worst thing of your life, but I don’t think you really know what it feels like until you go through it. It is especially hard for me because I was with him for 6 amazing months, and then he had to leave and now he is miles and miles away from me. But we are making it work and we are going to get through it. I’m going to fly out and visit him at the beginning of July, so we’re both counting down the days until we can see each other again. I am very, very excited. 

1. Describe your year in one word.

DIFFICULT

2. Describe your year in three words.

Is it over? 

3. Describe your year in one sentence.

The year was horrible, but there were bursts of light that ultimately made it better.

4. Describe your year with song lyrics.

“As hard as you can try, this heart of mine won't break Go ahead and knock me down, there's so much I can take”

5. Describe your year with a quote/quotes.

“YOU ARE NOT WEAK JUST BECAUSE YOUR HEART FEELS SO HEAVY.”

6. Best memories from 2016?

-When my dad became cancer and disease free!!!!!!!! When my dad got his liver transplant and it was successful!!!! When the suffering was over!!! When we got home from the hospital WITH my dad!!! When my dad wasn’t going to die anymore!!  -Allen. Just, all of Allen. Cooking with him, living with him, doing homework with him, making him laugh, going everywhere with him...EVERYTHING.  -TWO SUMMER TRIPS. One to Chicago and one to GH, but both with my squad. I love love love all of them and all of the memories made on both of those trips. 

7. Worst memories from 2016?

-When my dad was diagnosed with cancer, cirrhosis, and hep B. When the doctor told me that he had six months to live. When he was dying in the hospital. When my mom told me that we’d be okay without him. When we’d cry together in the hospital.  -ORGO. ORGO ORGO ORGOOO FUCK ORGO!  -Fuck Albert! I hope his life sucks 

8. Biggest surprises in 2016?

-I guess dating Allen was a big surprise. Everyone around us knew that it would happen, but we both never thought about it until pretty late. I’m glad everything worked out though! 

9. If you could change one thing about the past year what would it be?

NO CANCER NO DISEASE NO SUFFERING FOR MY DAD

10. If you could relive one day from 2016, which day would you choose and why?

The day that Allen gave me his Christmas present to me. I cried a lot tbh because I was so happy!!

11. What’s the strangest thing that happened to you in 2016?

Being in a hospital so much. 

12. If you got the chance to relive this year would you do it?

NO!! NO!!! FUCK 2016 GO AWAY GET OUT OF HER PLZ I HATE U 

[skip 13] 14. Who were the most meaningful people in your life this past year?

Kristen, Jessica, Allen, Tiffany, and Khang 

15. Did any major life changes happen to you in the past year?

I have a boyfriend. My dad survived hell. I watched my best friend go through hell and survive it. 

16. Who’s the coolest person you met in 2016?

Helen!! I love Helen so much. 

17. Any regrets concerning the past year?

I wish I worked harder during first semester...but oh well, it’s over now. 

18. What is the most memorable thing that happened to you in 2016?

Dating Allen I guess? 

19. Would you say you had a good year?

Yes and No. The second half of the year was definitely better than the first. 

20. What’s the greatest achievement you made this year?

I passed orgo? lmao i hate myself 

21. Name one meaningful song for every month of the past year?

no 

22. What’s the best thing that was said to you this year?

A lot of things that I can’t remember. 

23. What’s the worst thing that was said to you this year?

“You’re fat”, “Why is your face so red?”, etc (My anxiety about my appearance and my body is back! fk)

24. What’s the best gift you received this year?

PHOTO ALBUM AND CARD FOR SURE YES 

25. Best book you read in 2016?

When Breath Becomes Air. I cried reading the entire time!!!

26. Best tv show you watched in 2016?

Teen Wolf still owns my ass

27. Best movie you saw in 2016?

Captain America Civil War and Moana!! 

28. Best song you heard in 2016?

“Turn to You” by TCO or All We Are by Andy Kong

29. Most boring day of the year?

Any time I come home from college. Also the summer fk that summer 

30. Saddest day of the year?

When the doctors told me that my dad had less than 6 months to live. 

31. Scariest moments of 2016?

When my dad was going to die! Literally all of these questions are just about my dad. 

[skip 32/33] 34. Did 2016 meet your expectations?

LOL I think every year is going to be better but this year really fucked me over. Thanks 2016! 

35. What’s the most interesting experience you had in 2016?

Drinking alcohol for the first time!! Now I’m a monster :~) 

36. Would you say you’ve changed during this year?

Yeah, I’d like to think that I got stronger from what happened this year. But at the same time, I still feel so weak. 

37. What’s the bravest thing you did in 2016?

Survive what my dad went through and let someone into my heart. 

38. What’s the hardest thing you did in 2016?

I had to watch my dad lay in the hospital bed, dying, and I couldn’t do anything about it. It’s that feeling of helplessness that really gets to you. It sucked. 

39. What’s the most impressive thing you did in 2016?

Survive orgo!! I thought I was going to die!! 

40. What’s the kindest thing you did in 2016?

I think I got a lot closer to my dad because of his illness. And I got kinder. I realized that the days that we have on this Earth are all important. 

41. What’s the most honest/dishonest thing you did in 2016?

I don’t particularly like this question. 

42. What were the biggest events in your life in 2016?

-Cancer! And then no cancer! -ALLEN my love. 

43. What songs do you think will make you remember this year?

All of the sad songs that I listened to to get through the day. 

44. Did this year teach you anything?

Literally....life is unpredictable. Donald Trump aka the orange devil got elected as President of the United States and he WON THE MAJORITY OF THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE LIKE IDK HOW THAT HAPPENED HOW DID THE PEOPLE OF THE U.S. FAIL US SO BADLY NOW WE WILL ALL BE IN HELL! I’m also still ANGRY that the Stanford rape case came out the way that it did. FK YOU. Also disease can happen to anyone, no matter how healthy you are. It’ll just attack you at the most random moments and you have to learn how to deal with something that is essentially killing you. Lastly, love still exists even with all of the bad things that happened this year. I opened up my heart again this year and I am so happy that I did. And all of the kind things that happened in the world...............I guess you really have to look more at the positive things that happened this year instead of the (many) negatives. That’s how you cope, I suppose. 

45. What do you want from the new year?