livi

jean stares at him for a second, incredibly confused, then leans over and kisses jeremy’s cheek exactly where he’d pointed

― Nora Sakavic, The Sunshine Court

when people write neil and andrew as asking “yes or no” for every little thing, it feels a little exaggerated to me. the phrase is important to them, yes, but theyre also smart enough to recognize when its not needed for the most part

an example of this is andrews hair. ive seen people include neil asking to touch andrews hair even though, canonically, once neil gets permission for it once, he continues to see it as a safe spot without needing to confirm. we see this when they kiss on the bus (“He buried his hands in Andrew’s hair and tugged him in for a kiss” is the exact phrasing, no pausing for permission) and during the blowjob scene (“Neil caught Andrew’s hair, but his injuries and the plastic bags made it difficult for him to get a good grip”)

another example is andrews neck. both times we see neil kiss andrews neck, he doesnt ask. he just does it and is rewarded with andrews reaction being positive

and andrew doesnt stop him. itd be one thing if neil did this and was told to stop because he didnt ask, but andrew allows it. if it stops being a safe zone, they both know andrew will say so. but until then, its safe to touch without permission

further, while andrew is the one who benefits from using “yes or no” because of his boundaries and history, i think if neil were asking for every tiny touch, hed get annoyed at how overkill and anxiety-based it is. its one thing to have your boundaries respected, its another to have someone walk on eggshells around you. neil respects andrew too much to treat him like he’ll break at one wrong touch and andrew would hate him if he did. andrews not fragile, hes a man who knows his boundaries and will make sure theyre respected. theres a difference

All three of them are on the spectrum (personal headcanon), and that shapes everything about how they love.

It’s not smooth. It’s not intuitive. Sometimes it clashes hard. Kevin’s rigid routines butt up against Andrew’s rules. Neil’s need to move, pace, do something runs straight into Andrew’s need for stillness and control. Kevin wants structure, Andrew wants boundaries, Neil wants motion, and sometimes those needs are incompatible in the same room.

And they argue about it.

They misread tone.

They go quiet at the wrong times.

But none of that means they’re failing.

'i hope you're with someone who isn't scared to ask'