*lights a cigar with a match and leans back in my plush leather chair, looking out through the blinds at the city. my fuckin city.*

Blowing a dandelion is basically you helping a weed ejaculate.

I was having a good day. We were all having a good day.

I mean it’s kind of not, seeds aren’t analogous to sperm, hell, pollen isn’t analogous to sperm, plants don’t do dimorphic gametes like that. a better analogy would be firing a couple dozen fully-formed babies from a tshirt cannon

Now we’re having a good day again.

“phones are disrupting natural sleep cycles” I mean true but also bold of you to assume I had one before the tech boom lol catch me out here reading chapter books by the light of my light up pens in the third grade

catch me lying awake for hours in darkness every night since i was 9

your soul is sick if you hate her

@hotwngz

tell ya what you would not BELEIVE how fantastically well that shit shuts up prolifers love busting out the "actually my mom was a 18 year old mother and having kids led her directly into a crippling meth addiction, leaving my pedophillic molestor father with sole custody. i wish she HAD got an abortion, everyone would have had a better life if she did, myself by not being subjected to all that"