Platonic love

Scarecrow: *releases fear toxin across the city*

Reader: *unfazed*

Scarecrow: *sends more fear toxins in their direction.*

Reader: * pulls out a hand fan in fans away the toxin smoke.*

Scarecrow: *befuddled* how did you resist my fear toxin?

Reader:* with a dead look in their eyes* i'm depressed with little to no self-esteem. The fear toxin doesn't do anything that I have already said or done to myself.

Scarecrow: ....

Reader: (Dming dnd) You come to a door, what do you do?

Riddler: (playing a rogue) I am go to pick the lock.

Reader: Roll for dexterity.

Riddler: ( rolls dice) I got 16 total.

Reader: Failed. Harley?

Harley: (the barbarian) i'm gonna smash the door open.

Riddler: No, you can't! You have no clue what's on the other side of that thing. There might be booby traps.

Harley & Riddler: (arguing)

Reader: Croc?

Killer Croc: I'll turn the doornob.

Reader: Congrats. You open the door.

Harley: ....

Riddler: ....

Reader: I never said the door was locked.

Reader: *closing up*

Killer Croc: *waiting on them*

Reader: Croc, here is your food.

Killer Croc: Thanks, now let's go.

Reader: Right with you.

-10 minutes later-

Batman: Release your hostage Killer Croc.

Killer Croc: *Stands in front of reader protectively*

Reader: I think there is a misunderstanding.

Robin: What do you mean?

Reader: He makes sure I get home safe. In exchange for food, he walks me home .

Red hood: You could have asked me to take you home.

Reader: * Gives 'oh really' look*

Red Robin: Red, don't give out false promises.

Red hood: Oh shush, replacement.

Reader: Be nice to your brother.

Robin: Why do you think we are brothers?

Reader: You act like it. Can we please go now?

Redhood: Only if I can walk with you.

Reader: *Looks at Killer Croc eating fries like popcorn*

Killer Croc: *Shrugs*

Reader: Fine. But no fighting, please.

Reader: *forgot to pack a lunch but too broke to buy anything*

Lex Luther: Hi kiddo.

Reader: Oh hi.

Lex Luther: *orders food and a shake*

Reader: *gives food*

Lex Luther: *takes shake* The rest is for you.

Batman: What are you doing in gotham Luther?

Lex Luther: A shake.

Reader: Alright, I can go on break. *sees Batman* Did you need anything, sir?

Batman: Yes, the usual. Do you know him?

Reader: Yes, I do. *Gives food and drink to Batman*

Lex Luther: *Sitting*

Reader: *Sits by him, starts eating*

Batman: But as I recall, Lex Luther doesn't have any kid.

Reader: I never said he was my dad. Also, please do not fight within the restaurant, or I will have you banned.

Batman:*in shock*

Lex Luther: *chuckles*

Reader: *cleaning tables*

Condiment King: *walks in*

Reader: *knows the drill* Plain burger with fries?

Condiment King: You know me too well. *Pays for food*

Reader: Here you go. *Hands over food*

Condiment King: *shoots at burger and drowns in in condiments*

Reader: Most you make my life so difficult?

Condiment King: I have no idea what you are referring to. * condiments are staining the table.*

Reader: *mumbles* And this is why I don't get paid enough for this job.

Condiment King: Why don't you try it before you judge it?

Reader: *working night shift at Batburger.*

Robber: Give me all your money or I shoot.

Reader: *tired* Why?

Robber: Because I want your money!

Reader: *broke* Do I look like I have any?

Robber: Well... Uh..

Reader: I understand the economy is a dumpster fire. But any money you steal will come out of my paycheck. And this would go on your criminal record, so you really will have a hard time getting job to get money. So, for both of our sales, don't.

Robber: *existential crisis*

Reader: Now, what do you want?

Robber: A double burger combo please.

Reader: Ok.

Robber: *Leaves with food* Wait.

Imagine being taken in a kid by Merlin to be her apprentice. Tavern patrons are convinced that you are the child of Merlin and Escanor. Merlin finds it amusing, and Escanor denies it but treats you like his child.