got my first ever official customer complaint because when i was going over the terms of their life insurance they were like "well i don't plan to die" and i was like "well you're going to"
Jules of Nature

romaā
Sade Olutola
The Stonewall Inn

"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
š

ā
One Nice Bug Per Day
Cosmic Funnies
Xuebing Du

shark vs the universe
occasionally subtle

izzy's playlists!
EXPECTATIONS
cherry valley forever
The Bowery Presents
seen from United States
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seen from T1

seen from Malaysia

seen from United States

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seen from Malaysia
seen from Bangladesh
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seen from Canada
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@affirmingmyexistence
got my first ever official customer complaint because when i was going over the terms of their life insurance they were like "well i don't plan to die" and i was like "well you're going to"

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local matchmaker losing it over yet another unrealistic demand from the clientele š¤£š¤£
Translation by me. :))
āCommission open? Dm meā - commission scam
āI have something important to tell you but canāt message u pls message me ā - accidentally reported you scam
āI love your story and want to illustrate it dm me at discordā - commissioner scam
āI saw your post looking for artists to draw (x) and would love to draw it it sounds like a lovely idea and im an artistā - commissioner scammer who DMād you when you didnāt ask
āDid you send me this link for free tumblr premium?ā - accidentally reported you scam
ā your account is limited please kindly verify at (scam link)ā - verification scam
little guy missed his jump
he vexes me
Chin-ups are part of his routine
I subscribed to UNNAMED STREAMING SERVICE a few days ago and gave the login info to all my friends, as one does, but one of them went in and turned on 2-factor authentication and set the phone number to her own cell phone, locking me out of the account
It was an accident and we got it fixed but for a brief moment the betrayal and fury was so great I blacked out and was possessed by the spirit of like a 19th century naval officer, I was pacing around my room like "TO THINK THAT JUDAS HIMSELF NUMBERS HIMSELF AMONG MY COMPATRIOTS"

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oh no i will lose my !
Every work of art says things the creator hasnāt considered, but if youāve really thought about what youāre trying to say then generally the additional dimensions you didnāt know it had are in alignment with your purpose, whereas if you think youāre making no cultural comment at all you are actually making a LOT of cultural comments, most of which will be unflattering to you
Porn is one of the most culturally rich types of media imaginable so the answer is: you cannot do this
āI donāt want to make anything with cultural dimensions. Thatās why I only write within the genre that is legally sequestered away from every other kind of storytelling because of my cultureās attitude towards depictions of sex.ā
still thinking about the apparent 2006-2007 epidemic of rabid swarms of wii remotes descending on helpless televisions like locusts
wii sports was invented by nefarious television manufacturers to break people's televisions
What a very funny joke that definitely did not happen because Nintendo definitely did not buy up almost a third of the shares of the top five TV manufacturers in the time between the announcement and release of the Wii, shares which definitely didn't skyrocket in value over the next two years due to an increase in flatscreen sales, nearly half of which independent analysts attributed to people replacing damaged TVs with newer, more expensive models from electronics stores that relied on high-pressure sales tactics to upsell people and get them to buy more expensive models on credit which they couldn't actually afford.
what the fuck
did you read the article? it gets even worse
everyone post your biggest hear me outs my friend just showed me two conventionally attractive white men in a row i need to teach him what a real hear me out is
.world's largest excavator- nay, world's largest vehicle- the bagger 288
.also, scale reference! just the wheel is 70 feet in diameter
'here's a real hear me out' >>posts world's most conventionally attractive piece of machinery
one of my friends in a discord server was talking about how they were nervous about their first scheduled acupuncture appointment. another friend offered to do a tarot reading for them. sent this picture.

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So every year, my aquarium does a captive lobster hatchery project (hence all the loblings). The reason weāre doing it is because in the wild, loblings only have a 1 in 25,000 chance of surviving their larval phase. Theyāre plankton as babies and everything eats them. Additionally, as the Gulf of Maine warms, they are having even lower survival rates because the blooms of copepods they feed on as babies are happening earlier in the year, and theyāre missing it.
Obviously, the goal of this experiment is to grow the lobsters until theyāre big enough to settle to the seabed and then release them, because they have a much higher likelihood of surviving to adulthood when theyāre able to hide. Ideally, captive lobster hatcheries can boost the wild population and keep things stable, so we donāt have a major crash in a decade or two.
The first year we tried this was pretty bad. We had a lot of eggs, but very few babies. It turned out that the CO2 levels in the building spiked as more guests visited throughout the summer, and that settled into the water and threw off the pH and caused a chemical reaction that prevented a lot of the eggs from hatching. I think we ended up releasing three baby lobsters (which is still better than their wild survival rate but not great).
The second year was a little better. We added a de-gasser to the aquarium and got a ton of larval lobsters, but right as they were settling to the bottom we had a disease outbreak that killed most of them. We ended up releasing four babies at the end of the season.
But this year? Oh boy. We have so many lobsters that we had to release the first round early (usually we wait till September or October so guests can see them). We just released a total of FIVE HUNDRED AND TWENTY FIVE baby lobsters, and we still have over a hundred who havenāt settled to the bottom yet. I genuinely donāt even have words to explain how cool this is. OVER FIVE HUNDRED. We just added hundreds of lobsters to the wild population that wouldnāt have been there otherwise.
Conservation is so fucken sick
When you meet Edward Elric he gives off the impression that he's the short-tempered hot-headed "violence is the answer to all life's questions" kind of protagonist, and it's in fact incredible character craft that he's actually the character who ends the series with a negative-3 kill count.
people killed: 0
direct orders of "you really really need to kill this guy" ignored: 1
ongoing murders being committed by Ed's own friends/colleagues that Ed got in the way of to specifically stop that murder from happening: 2
God's worst soldier Edward Elric. Showed up as the youngest member of the Amestrian army, took millions of dollars from them, never followed a single order, helped dismantle their fascist regime, left with a lower kill count than he arrived with, then fucked off to go be a house-husband. Character of all time.
You know, when you said "negative-3 kill count," I, who haven't seen the anime, thought, "He resurrected 3 people?????" But I'm seeing here on the wiki that apparently resurrection in this anime is a terrible idea.
Official addition to this post.
has anyone figured out how to turn off the thing where you love your pet so much it slides inexorably into grief-borrowing
āFor me this glass is already broken. I enjoy it; I drink out of it. It holds my water admirably, sometimes even reflecting the sun in beautiful patterns. If I should tap it, it has a lovely ring to it. But when I put this glass on the shelf and the wind knocks it over or my elbow brushes it off the table and it falls to the ground and shatters, I say, āOf course.ā When I understand that the glass is already broken, every moment with it is precious.ā
the magic she loves

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OP: The weather is unbearably hot, but running the AC all the time leaves me weak. Any solutions?
Cnetizens: Get a winter melon, lie on a bamboo mat and cuddle it to sleep.
OP: Hereās my experience from last summer. Temperatures in Shanghai stayed above 35°C through July and August last year. I almost never turn on the air conditioner at night, only run a fan. Waking up soaked from the heat was pretty normal. Then I roll over, and my arms and legs touch something nice and cool. Itās not that sharp shocking cold that makes you shudder just really pleasant. Whatās more it holds a steady cool temperature. No matter how long I hug it, it barely warms up. Once my skin moves away from its surface it cools down quickly again. It regulates itself surprisingly well. You donāt need to worry about it turning lukewarm.
Pros Great at keeping a constant cool temperature energy-free totally silent thick rind means it lasts a long time up to three months multi-purpose you can even hold it while doing squats or use it as a barrier so you donāt roll off the bed. Cons Youāll reek of vegetable odour after sleeping all night with it. You canāt eat it afterwards. Donāt get any ideas about turning it into a stuffed winter melon bowl. Donāt ask how I found out. Itās really heavy. Getting it home from the market is tough and throwing it away later is just as much hassle. The inside turns completely mushy watery pulp so you have no choice but to dump it. (cr ę辰大海éé£å»)
AC and electric fans can be found in nearly every household across China, yet not everyone likes keeping the AC running nonstop. Some people with extremely weak constitutions cannot stand air conditioning at all, nor can they bear constant airflow. Thatās why people have come up with all sorts of ways to beat the heat.
Winter melons are 96% water. Their surface stays several degrees cooler than the surrounding air, so sleeping with one in your arms is basically hugging a natural cold water pack. As long as the rind stays intact, you can use it all summer. Just watch out for ruptures ā if it splits open, all the liquid inside leaks out. Using winter melons to beat the heat has been a folk custom in China since ancient times.
Thereās also the zhufuren竹夫人(literally bamboo lady, aka bamboo wife), a similar popular cooling tool. Itās a hollow cylindrical cage woven from thin bamboo strips. Air flows freely through its gaps, carrying heat away nonstop.
Chinese people had plenty of other clever ways to stay cool. In 1978, the bronze jian fou was unearthed from the Marquis Yi of Zengās tomb in Suizhou, Hubei. Dating back over 2,400 years, itās Chinaās ancient version of a refrigerator. Ice went in the outer vessel, and wine was stored inside the inner container.
The Tang Dynasty had cool pavilions built next to water. Waterwheels channeled cool air indoors. Some even pumped water up to the rooftops to create artificial water curtains. The cooling trick relied on waterwheels spinning fans paired with flowing water.
By the Tang Dynasty, plenty of icy treats already existed. The most famous one was su shané „å±±, an icy dairy confection. Modern researchers have worked out its general recipe. First, heat dairy cream until it nearly melts and turns soft. Drip it onto a plate to shape it like rolling mountains, then store it in an ice cellar to freeze solid.
Song Dynasty people enjoyed frozen drinks too. Records of the Eastern Capitalās Dreams documents summer treats sold in Bianjing, the Northern Song capital.
Cold treats grew far more diverse in the Song Dynasty. Historical records show that as early as 962, the third year of the Jianlong reignāthe exact timeframe featured in Where Winds Meetāthe imperial court set up the Bingjingwuå°äŗå”(Ice Well Service), an official department dedicated to making cold food for summer relief. Every summer the government handed out these icy delicacies to officials to help them beat the heat. Booming Song Dynasty commerce gradually made cold drinks accessible to ordinary people, and the variety of icy treats available to civilians expanded greatly. Documents note three major cold drink shops operating in Kaifeng, capital of the Northern Song, selling a huge range of refreshments including bingxue(icy snow), cold congee soup, licorice decoction, preserved papaya, fresh papaya, chilled lychee paste, golden tangerine balls, snow foam spleen-soothing drink, elsholtzia beverage, perilla drink, cold rice wine drink, soapberry syrup, sweet soybean candy, mung bean water, brined plum drink, jiangcha tea, Wuling San herbal mix, Dashun San herbal mix, lychee cream and snow foam plum wine. The most common cold drink back then was bingxueå°éŖāļø, comparable to modern ice pops. In winter Song people filled bronze basins with water mixed with sugar, sometimes fruit juice and plant gel, and left them outdoors to freeze solid. These blocks were then stored in ice cellars. The following summer they would cut the frozen slabs into chunks or carve them into animal shapes such as dogs and foxes to sell at cold drink shops.
Street vendors also sold frothy soybean drink, pear juice, plum syrup, ginger honey water and papaya nectar. The menu rivals todayās trendy bubble tea shops. Vendors set up stalls everywhere ā at street corners, alley entrances and bridge crossings.
iām obsessed with thisļæ¼
and then, two months later....
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