I think the ableist and transmisogynistic undertones of Dump Your Puppygirl are valid, but personally I can envision severely edited version of that article that actually touches on a difficult type of person to deal with who weaponizes their diagnosis and emotions against the people around them. I honestly think the trans aspect is not even a necessary layer to touch on aside from the aspect that everyone involved in that polycule had their own shit going on.
I may not be trans or poly, but I was engaged in a dynamic super like the one in the article. I lived with my roommate (who I knew since high school) and she had a boyfriend. When they got together, he relieved me of some of the emotional labor of her but I was still the one cleaning up the apartment constantly and dealing with meltdowns that I would come home from work to. All of us involved have diagnoses of the mental variety.
In this dynamic, it's not about saying "if you don't do work you're not valuable as a person and you're a burden like you always thought". I stayed by my roommates side during nights she got extremely drunk and cried and yelled and was a minefield to care for. And I did that happily for a while. Until I realized she will never watch how much she drinks, and will accept drugs as well knowing full well she can't handle it. Some of her breakdowns were "I'm so annoying, everyone hates me" so therefore I could never address any problem or else I was confirming that she was annoying and a burden. Thinking that she was annoying didn't stop her from demanding a queen sized bed to herself on a group trip where she knew the bed distribution well in advance, or stop her from asking the person who planned the trip to sleep on the couch. And of course on that same trip she drank an entire bottle of wine herself in one night, and made the whole trip about the ups and downs of her emotions. And of course her boyfriend placated her for hours, despite his own insomnia and exhaustion. There's a difference between trying and failing to be helpful, and being actively unhelpful and not caring until someone tries to address it.
But that group trip was a blessing in disguise. Because before that I was made to feel like a bad friend and mean for venting about her in private. I met my ex because they were a friend of hers, and I had to eventually demand that they stop avoiding conversations I start about her because it made me feel like they thought I was doing something wrong. But after that trip my closest friends understood perfectly what I had been putting up with every day for over a year at that point, and my ex finally grasped that I wasn't exaggerating. She wasn't my partner though, so I didn't feel the same obligation as the article writer, and I started to distance myself a lot from her socially and invest time into other friends. The trip was in the summer, and by the next summer I moved out. I could imagine a world in which my resentment towards her treatment of me waned and we stayed friends after I moved out, but she attacked me endlessly in the month before my move out date (despite the fact I was still trying to make it as easy as possible for her and calm her stress about it) and when I finally stood up to her and said I'm not her emotional punching bag she unfriended me.
This doesn't even hold a candle to what her boyfriend went through either. Once, a friend and I were soothing her over text because she felt her boyfriend never took initiative to plan dates and it made her feel bad (they saw each other twice a week every week). We asked if she talked about this with him, she said "yeah I tried but he's kind of out of it right now". Turns out she was physically with him as he had a fever and was throwing up. After this he was literally hospitalized because his body was breaking down from stress (officially what they told him). But instead of offering any comfort to him at all as he was delirious, she thought the nuance of their dates that made her feel a little unwanted was more important to address.
All this to say, I am deeply familiar with the type of person who weaponizes being so uwu soft girl that they just can't get anything done. And I have plenty of other friends who require "labor" of sorts but who I truly hold nothing against. But there is a certain brand of person who will bemoan and cry out that they're such a burden while also not caring at all about being inconsiderate and rude to everyone around them.
TLDR I think the Dump Your Puppygirl article should've been edited by someone who wasn't the puppgirl's ex and it would've been better received. And it could've been cut down a lot, especially a lot of the trans aspect which felt unrelated to the problem at hand for most of its application which is why it felt transmisogynistic and like the writer was accusing the puppygirl for choosing a presentation specifically to be abusive. But there are nuggets of real truth that I personally found relatable in their dynamic. Also no one is addressing the sex aspect which was really shitty of puppygirl and could be a while article in and of itself.
