Fandom blog! (NSFW, Minors DNI)

The evening had finally arrived and that meant one thing: the Freak Circus of Horrors was open for business!!

You had been waiting all day and you were so excited!! To celebrate the occasion, you even dressed up a bit.

You stood in line at the circus’s queue rocking back and forth on your feet, trying to still your fidgeting hands. You didn’t want to accidentally hit someone else in the line. Speaking of which, you looked around, There was a lot more people than you remember since you had last attended. Had something happened in the last two weeks? Well, regardless, it was great that the circus was getting more business!

The line was moving fast. You were now just four people away from the front.

You went over your plan for tonight once more.

You sadly couldn’t spend the entire night at the circus since you had to continue working on your projects then had your usual shift at the café in the morning, so you made a little plan to keep yourself on track.

If calculated correctly, you would only have time for three tents.

First was Harlequin’s performance to start the night off with some energy, some pizzazz. Then was Doctor’s. You had been missing him too, and thought this would be a great opportunity to see him again. Plus, you were very interested to see what he had to say about your physical health in its current state. To finish up the night with an elegant performance would be Pierrot.

Only two people ahead.

You thought of checking out the dark blue or the purple tent. You missed Ticket Taker, but figured his tent’s time sensitivity wouldn’t be that good for your nerves right now. You got to see him right before you entered anyway, so it worked out.

And, though you may not be on the friendliest of terms with him, you also missed seeing Jester. You weren’t sure what he had planned for tonight since he and Harlequin tended to have a variety of different performances, but you also knew he wasn’t quite…fond of you, to put it nicely.

You also didn’t want to embarrass yourself in front of him, and in your current state, that would be far too easy. He probably already thought you were an idiot. No reason to prove his point further.

Ticket Taker’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts.

“Good evening, Red Ticket Guest. It has been quite a while since we’ve seen you.”

“Yeah, I can’t believe it’s been two weeks already, but I’m so happy to be back!”

Ticket Taker inspected the ticket you held so dear and looked into your tired, but excited, eyes.

“As are we,” he said with a small, polite smile. That wasn’t a complete lie, much to Ticket Taker’s dismay.

Nonetheless, he welcomed you in.

You had to keep yourself from jumping up and down from excitement. You instead opted for barely-contained enthusiasm as you speed-walked into the place that held your heart in its gloved, clawed hands.

Before you took another step forward, Ticket Taker called you back.

“There has been a slight time change. Due to some minor technical issues, the Harlequin’s performance is starting thirty minutes later than usual,” he informed you.

“Oh. Okay, thanks for letting me know.”

Well, there went your plan.

You tried to still your now-worried heart, reminding yourself you’d see him later. In thirty minutes to be precise. Things weren’t thrown too off schedule either. It all was workable. You’d just go with your backup plan B.

You walked over to the cyan tent, thankfully able to calm yourself on the way over.

You signed the waiver and, when it was your turn, you entered the tent.

The Dolls’ eyes peered back at you. You never paid them too much attention, but you could’ve sworn they seemed surprised to see you again.

Your gaze, however, immediately focused on those familiar cyan lenses.

“Hello again, my tasty patient. It’s been far too long since your last check-up. Take a seat, and we’ll remedy that shortly.”

You did as Doctor instructed. And just like each time before, he affixed your wrists to each arm of the chair.

His chair was more comfortable than you remember. The tent’s interior was comfortably dark and the thick material of the tent walls blocked out most outside noise. All that left was the sounds of Doctor’s boots against ground and the the clink of metal instruments against the tray. Not even the Dolls’ eyes bothered you.

Your blinks became slower.

You rested your head against the back of Doctor’s chair, eyes closed a little too long, a relaxed, peaceful expression on your face.

Doctor observed you intently. Your pulse was slow, your breathing steady, but getting deeper. It seems you had fallen asleep. He was perplexed, but fascinated. None of his patients had ever fallen asleep in his chair before. They were usually too scared, far too jittery. He watched you for a few minutes more.

“Patient…? Hello?”

Ok, you were really sleeping now. He decided it was best to wake you up now before you stayed here for the rest of the night. (That prospect didn’t seem so bad the more he thought about it, but still. He needed to finish the examination first.)

Doctor tried calling you again, louder this time. When you were still unresponsive, he gently nudged your arm.

“Mmm…hrm? What? Where am I?” Your eyes fluttered open as you looked around your darkened surroundings. You then saw Doctor standing before you. “Oh. Oh! Doctor, I’m so sorry!”

“There is no need to be. I didn’t realize that my tent was so relaxing for you.” 

“It’s just so dark and quiet. I dunno, it’s nice.” You could feel the Dolls’ staring at you incredulously. But just as before, it had no effect on you.

“…That’s not something I usually hear, but I am glad you feel so comfortable. Shall we continue the examination?”

“Yes, of course.”

Doctor re-checked your pulse and reflexes.

Your pulse had quickened a bit as you were more awake. More adrenaline coursed throughout your system, no doubt still feeling a tad embarrassed. Your reflexes were still sharp and quick, despite how tired you were. A good sign. However, that was where the good news stopped.

He scrutinized you.

You had never really sat with perfect posture in his chair, but you were more hunched over this time around. Your fingers were twitching, but you weren’t showing symptoms of nervousness. You had a dull headache you were trying to ignore, too. This, combined with a slowed heartbeat, deeper breaths, pale complexion, and heavy eye bags visible through your concealer made your diagnosis clear as day.

However, he needed to ask you a few questions to truly understand the factors playing into your current condition.

“So, my dear patient, how have you been feeling lately?”

“I’ve been alright.”

“There’s no need to lie. I can see it in the pallor of your face. How have you really been?”

“Um, kinda stressed. Really stressed.”

“Do you know what’s causing this?”

“School for sure. It’s Hell Month and all of the work we’ve had to do has just been wearing on me. The group projects have been aggravating and I’m just trying to make sure everything is done, and done well, but it’s been really hectic this semester in general. Plus, I’m working at the café full time. Being a full time student and employee don’t exactly mesh well together, y’know?”

“I can imagine how overwhelming all this must be. Tell me, in all this time, how often have you slept?’

“On average, 2-3 hours a night. But sometimes I get 4-5, so it’s all good.”

“I see. How long has your sleep been like this?”

“The past 2, 3 weeks?”

Not nearly enough. At all.

Doctor hummed, processing this information.

“How often have you eaten? And what has your diet consisted of?”

“Oh…well, to be completely truthful, I’ve been skipping breakfast more lately, but have been trying to at least eat something small for lunch to make up for it.”

“How has that been going?”

“Not according to plan. I’ve been kinda forgetting to eat, but don’t worry, that’s pretty normal for me.”

Forgetting to eat was a regular occurrence for you??? How were you not in worse condition???

“What about dinner?”

“Dinner is whatever I can throw in the oven from the freezer, like chicken nuggets and fries. Instant ramen is a staple, though, always has been. I’ll make steamed rice or spaghetti if my workload isn’t too bad, but I haven’t been able to do that as often as I’d like, so I just eat snacks instead. It’s easier. And, hey, something’s better than nothing, right? Things like microwave mac n’ cheese, popcorn, those little bags of fruit, or peanut butter jelly sandwiches if I’m feeling up to it. Oh yeah, sometimes I make weenie tacos. Its nothing fancy, just a singular hot dog weenie wrapped in a flour tortilla. Those do the trick. They’re pretty tasty, too!”

Doctor was flabbergasted.

First, you forgot to eat. How does that happen??

He thought about it more and it started to make sense. You most likely ignored your hunger signals due to your stressful workload, but did it so often, that your body just became used to it.

He didn’t like that prospect one bit.

Next, your diet: poorly maintained and low quality. Again, he blamed your school- and work-induced stress.

He could already see Harlequin’s and Pierrot’s reactions when they find this out (either from you, him, or another listening ear).

“Uh, Doctor? You haven’t said anything in a bit. You okay?”

He let out a surprised little squawk, brought back from his thoughts.

Doctor cleared his throat and stepped back, continuing to analyze you.

“So Doctor, how’s everything’s looking?”

“That depends. How truthful do you want me to be?”

“It’s bad, right?”

“Quite.”

You slumped even further in the chair.

“I know, it’s just…hard to take care of yourself when you have so much on your plate. I haven’t had time to get groceries, or make anything, or even get a good night’s rest. I’ve barely had time to do laundry and that’s only because I need my uniforms for work.” You started sniffling, tears forming at the corners of your eyes. “To make matters worse, it takes me longer to do my work because of my stupid brain, which leaves me even less time to do things like make food or take a few minutes to just eat something quick.” You had then begun to sob. “It’s just–I have–It’s…It’s just really hard to get in that rhythm, or y’know that, that workflow again. I don’t know why its so hard to focus and just do what I have to do. Me being tired doesn’t help and–and I just…!”

You screwed your eyes shut. The last thing you were expecting of yourself was to be sitting in Doctor’s chair, bawling your eyes out. This was so embarrassing!!

You thankfully couldn’t see Doctor’s facial expression because of his mask, but you could only imagine what he thought of you now.

Stupid, weak, pathetic, can’t even deal with simple stress properly without crying like a baby, not even able to make food for themselves. What kind of moron couldn’t even—

Suddenly, you smelled hints of incense and coffee. Something soft was lightly dabbing away your tears.

“There there, sweetie.”

You opened your eyes.

Doctor was kneeling inches from you, drying your face with a small cloth.

“I didn’t realize everything was impacting you this badly. Have you shared this with anyone? With Pierrot or Harlequin?”

You shook your head, trying not to sob harder.

“Why not? I know for a fact they’d be more than willing to help you.”

“…I h-haven’t wanted to bother them. You guys already work so hard doing so much for the circus and—and this is just stupid, unimportant problems that I’m being overdramatic about. I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m still crying.”

He continued to dry your face. You kept looking downward, still ashamed to look him in the eyes.

Doctor gently cupped your face, causing you to finally make eye contact. You leaned into his touch.

“It’s not stupid at all,” he reassured. His tone was soft, carrying no judgement. “I am unsure why you think your struggles are unimportant. These are very real problems you’re dealing with that severely impact your health. Things of this nature should always be taken seriously. Further, you would not be quote-unquote ‘bothering’ Pierrot and Harlequin by telling them how you’re doing. This type of information is one of the things they want to know about most. They, and I may even go so far as to say we, care deeply about you. Your wellbeing and health are incredibly important and you shouldn’t be so afraid of relying on others. We’re never so busy that we can’t make time for you. Those who truly love and care about you will always make the time, regardless of circumstances. You too are included in this.”

“I am?”

“Of course. You're here at the circus now, aren’t you?”

You giggled, “Thank you, Doctor. I…really needed to hear that.”

“Of course. I am here to treat pain, after all.”

He remained close by your side.

“So, sweetie, your Doctor has a few recommendations. Make it a main goal to eat. Three times a day is ideal, but it’s also okay to eat smaller meals more frequently. Just make sure at least one of them is filling. Do not ignore your hunger signals either. Ensure you get proper rest to let your cells recover from your stressful days. Also, try and get out more, when you can. Not saying that as an excuse to visit the circus more often, but it is good to relax outside every once in a while. Lastly, make sure to keep hydrated with water, okay?”

“Alright, Doctor, I’ll do my very best.”

“And that is all I ask.” Doctor stood back up and untied your wrists. “Take care, sweetie. Return again soon.”

You got up, thanked Doctor again, and exited the tent feeling like all of your stress just melted away. Unfortunately, that relaxed feeling did not help your tiredness.

You looked at the time on your phone. Thirty minutes had just passed.

Walking with a bit more pep in your step, you made your way to the green tent.

Next performance: Harlequin’s.

==================================================

The five clowns once again sat in their staff tent, quietly eating the meal Ticket Taker had made. However, the performers were not very focused on their food at the moment.

Harlequin, Jester, Ticket Taker, and Doctor kept looking towards Pierrot, who had considerbly more energy compared to this morning. It was like he had gotten a full eight hours rest. Interestingly, his pupils were in the shape of two hearts, each as wide as his grin. He’d been like this since he first arrived back to the circus.

The other four shared looks, engaging in a silent conversation.

‘What happened at the cafe?’

‘He surely saw that human again. What else?’

‘Would that be all? He’s never come back home this happy before.’

‘He did get home a little later than normal. Perhaps he stayed talking to them.’

‘You may be right.’

‘Do we address it or just leave well enough alone?’

Harlequin decided to answer that unspoken question. “Well, someone’s in a good mood,” he remarked.

And just like that, Pierrot’s heart eyes disappeared as he glared at Harlequin in annoyance.

“What? It’s wonderful you’re feeling more awake! You might not even need a nap anymore.”

“That being said,” Jester interjected, “how are you doing, Pierrot?”

“I’m feeling much better. Rejuvenated, I guess you could say.”

“Good, we’re glad to hear it. Harlequin, how are you?”

“Oh Jester, you worry too much! I’m just fine, thank you.”

They continued lunch with light discussion. Everyone took turns providing updates on how their own days were proceeding.

Before they finished eating, Jester mentioned a slight change in plans. Since more flyers were handed out than usual, he thought it best that everyone start focusing on rehearsing early so that they can rest if needed.

After cleaning up the table, everyone each went to their respective performance tents.

All but two.

Pierrot stood outside Harlequin’s personal tent and took a deep, steadying breath. He had no clue what he wanted to talk about, but it more than likely was not good. He opened the flap with a swift movement to find Harlequin was sitting cross-legged on his bed.

“Welcome,” Harlequin said with a cheeky smile. “You’re a minute late. Perhaps you do need some rest after all.”

“Don’t make me regret coming over here. I don’t know what you wanted to talk about, but I’m certain that I don’t have much to tell you.”

“Are you sure? That aggravated look on your face says otherwise~”

Pierrot growled. He had so many better things he could be doing right now (like rehearsing, actually resting, daydreaming of MC, thinking of ways to better MC’s quality of life), but instead he was wasting his time here. One more chance and that was it.

“What. Did. You. Want. To. Discuss? Tell me right now or I leave.”

While Harlequin would love to poke and prod at him until he snapped, he didn’t want to cause anything serious, especially because this was a matter of utmost importance.

All pretense dropped.

“It’s about MC.”

Adrenaline coursed through Pierrot’s veins. Were they okay? How were they doing? What did Harlequin see? How bad were they now? Were they on the brink of death?

“They aren’t severely injured or dying. But, as I’m sure you saw too, their health seems to be worsening. I may have an answer as to why, but we need to be on the same page if we’re going to begin to resolve this. What do you know about our Dear One’s predicaments thus far?”

Pierrot narrowed his eyes, suspicious. He knew you were unwell and wanted to do everything in his power to help get you better, but the very fact that it was Harlequin who wanted information made him automatically hesitate.

…But it sounded like Harlequin had found out something very important. In order to better help you, he needed to know everything. But what if—

“My morning coffee was practically undrinkable, thanks to your delicious brew, so I stopped by the café today. MC and I had an interesting conversation where I learned something quite peculiar. Apparently, the humans have something called ‘Hell Month.’”

“Wh-what? What is that…?”

“No clue as of yet, but it is something our Dear One is currently undergoing. They said it ends this Sunday, and when it does, they will be attending the circus once more and see us far more frequently. They also mentioned that school, specifically something called finals, was giving them trouble. They, in their own words, despise them for obvious reasons but also because whatever finals are have been keeping them away from us. “

“And what are these ‘finals’?” Pierrot asked, trying to hide the fear in his voice. Finals…it sounded so ominous, so threatening!

“No idea. They didn’t explain.”

“Are they doing this by choice?”

Harlequin’s expression darkened, a disgusted scowl forming on his lips. “From how they described it, it didn’t sound like it.”

Pierrot’s pupils shrank until they were hardly visible. “Who!? Who or what is forcing our beloved to do something that brings them such pain?”

That voice again…

Harlequin kept his tone even and calm.

“I assume their university.”

Pierrot’s rage began to subside. This was one area where they didn’t have much say. Your university work was a big part of your life, for better and for worse.

When asked, you told them your main reasoning for wanting a degree was so that you could hopefully have a better future with a better paying job. However, the more you studied, the more you were considering academic jobs too, or something in research. You also said your university was introducing you to a lot of opportunities like internships, which would give you some of that experience those other jobs so desperately craved from its applicants. From what you’ve said of most of your professors thus far too, they have been in their fields for substantial amounts of time. They accrued knowledge and fostered relationships with other important people in your field of study, people that were also interested in hiring or were looking for hard-working, dedicated scholars to invite on to their projects. You then told them about grants and how these projects could open other doors for you too.

Pierrot and Harlequin would never forgive themselves if they somehow ruined your chances for such a bright future.

It was for that reason that they would often concede and let you do what you had to. They just hated how it seemed to constantly run you ragged. They normally forced themselves to step back for your future’s sake, but they had never seen you this worn out before. If there was ever a time to intervene, it was now.

“That’s all I know. Now it’s your turn to share. Let’s start with last night. What happened?”

Harlequin seemed to earnestly tell him the truth. No funny tricks, no clever scheme. Pierrot would rarely admit this out loud, especially not in front of the man himself, but it was times like these where he was sincerely grateful Harlequin was in the picture. He wouldn’t have been able to find this out otherwise.

“Pierrot, what did you see?”

“Last night, they stayed up until 5:26 in the morning typing on their laptop.”

“That whole time?!”

Pierrot nodded. “That's only because their body forced them to sleep. They had gotten a phone call from someone named Marissa. They seemed to be friends. I couldn’t hear much, but I did hear something about Foley.”

That was an all too familiar name. Every so often, when you were pushed just past your limit, you would rant to Pierrot and Harlequin. At the center of these rants was usually one name: Foley.

You hadn’t given any physical descriptors yet and neither Harlequin nor Pierrot could take enough time off from rehearsing or flyering to scope out your university to try finding their target, but any time they did get more info, they were all ears.

“Ughhhh, what did he do this time?”

“He apparently changed something so our beloved had to do even more work last night.”

“Typical…Well, that simply won’t do.”

“No. Not at all.”

“Is anyone else giving our Dear One problems?”

“Yes. Him and someone else. Someone named John.”

“Hrm, that name doesn’t ring a bell. What did that one do?”

“They haven't done their part for what MC has been working on. I’m sure you can guess who’s been doing their share of the work this whole time.”

Harlequin hummed in deep dissatisfaction. Looks like they had another new target to watch for.

“That might be related to what happened at the café.”

“Something happened?! Harle—”

“Not like that that. It was something I saw when I was leaving. Poor, exhausted MC was trying to take a nap on their break, but their phone kept alerting them of something. I assume they took care of it because they tried to rest again, but then their alarm rang.”

The two clowns were silent. They each processed the information the other told them, along with what they had witnessed themselves, and tried to come up with some kind of plan that didn’t end in you getting in trouble with your institution.

Despite all the pain and exhaustion, you genuinely seemed to like attending university. You always smiled whenever you would tell them about what cool, new things you were learned or researched. It was so adorable! You would pace around, flap your hands, and go off into five different tangents about it all! Harlequin and Pierrot committed each story, each tangent, every word, and every syllable to memory. They still couldn't believe they had a partner as wonderful as you.  

But aside from what you learned from your lectures, an occasional Foley rant, or an impassioned retelling of what Dr. Wu helped you with or taught you, you kept many things a secret, especially when it came to your workload. You just said that you were fine, it was just typical studying troubles you just had to get through, and switched conversation topics. It greatly concerned your partners each time.

However, when it came to situations like these, where you were clearly in distress and needed help, Pierrot’s and Harlequin’s lack of knowledge about how university functioned put them at a severe disadvantage.

They and Doctor had learned most of what they knew about post secondary education from Jester and Ticket Taker. One of their original plans was to forge degrees for all five of them just in case, so Jester and Ticket Taker had begun to learn what went into that. They forewent that plan soon after. The circus wouldn’t dare be caught up with humans long enough to necessitate the question of a degree anyways. Plus. it was not as necessary as other things. In Ticket Taker’s book, five fake diplomas would be a waste of money and time much better spent elsewhere. That was when they began to focus more on obtaining things like their driver’s licenses.

“What should we do?”

“Tonight, immediately after Jester’s meeting, we pay our Dear One a little visit. We’ll put that laptop away, make them eat something since they more than likely won’t have eaten a thing, and then help them go to sleep, Even if we have to bring them here to do so.”

“For once, I agree. Our dearest would be far more comfortable in my bed than theirs.”

“Heh. Funny, aren’t you?”

“What do you mean?” Pierrot asked with a smirk.

“You know I meant my bed.”

“Oh, you did? But I thought you too wanted them to get a good night’s rest. That would be impossible in sheets stained with your filthy fluids!”

As Harlequin and Pierrot squabbled, Ticket Taker, who had been eavesdropping the whole time, decided to make his presence known. He walked in front of the tent, deliberately looked around, then walked off. Their bickering stopped as soon as they saw him.

“We’ll talk more later,” Harlequin whispered.

Pierrot and Harlequin snuck their way to their actual performance tents. Ticket Taker, on the other hand, was on his way to Jester’s to inform him of the valuable information he just learned.

The picture was already quite clear, but it would have been unwise to act on something they only had mere assumptions of.

They needed irrefutable proof. Proof which was revealing itself more and more by the minute.

==================================================

You were still trying to process everything.

You found out from your team earlier that Foley had, once again, changed something. Naturally, you were devastated. So after serving a few more people, you took a “bathroom break” to check your school email.

There were six new emails all marked URGENT.

First was Foley’s.

He wrote two things. First, he said that, due to several calls and emails from the students, the required video of the groups’ practice rehearsal could now be a Zoom. Second, he said the Dean had sent him an email that morning. The Dean allegedly told him the college wanted something different from the students, aside from their final project, presentation, and report. This was highly suspicious, but you read on. Foley then said that, based on this new info from the Dean, you and your classmates would be required to answer some questions based on a seven page case study instead of that impromptu research paper he assigned Monday night. The case study was supposed to be attached to the email. (It wasn’t, which was what the next email was for.)

Rosa and Alex had been ranting about it in the group chat, but your new assignment didn’t seem too bad. The case studies were usually pretty straightforward: read the thing, answer the accompanying questions, and make some data-based inferences. You didn’t even need to go to the writing center for it! Plus, it was due Sunday at midnight, so you had a few more days to work on it.

The next was from the university admin, both regarding finals: ALL final exams, from every college and every department, would be pushed back. The times and days of the week the exams landed on would stay the same, but they were now to be taken a week later! Fantastic news! Surreal, even.

With that good mood you had looked at the next email. Your mood instantly dissipated.

It was from your college’s Dean. Its subject line said ‘EMERGENCY MEETING!!!’

You grumbled quietly.

There had been a lot of administrative chaos and confusion this semester, which you and every other student in your department had been struggling with. The past two months had been crammed with mandatory “emergency meetings” that were just going over deadlines everyone already knew about. To add to the frustration, these meetings were held when many of the students were at work. They tried to communicate this issue to the Dean, but all he said was that times and dates of the meetings were final. And of course, everyone was informed of them last minute; a week in advance was their most generous timeframe.

You were about to read the email when your eyes landed on the subject line of the next one: ‘Please Disregard Previous Email.’ You clicked on it out of curiosity. In this latest one, the Dean said there would be no meeting because of final presentations and exam prep and they would just send another email in a few days with whatever it was they were going to tell you all.

Hold on. A cancelled meeting that was going to be an email!? This day couldn’t get any better!

Finally, you read the last email. The one from Dr. Wu.

First, she apologized profusely for all the chaos this semester was throwing at you guys. She was not aware of why there had been so many issues lately, but it was unfair to the students who had been working so diligently and been doing an excellent job at keeping up with this mess. She then said, as a small help, the deadline of her class’s final paper would be extended until Sunday. Further, she reduced her paper’s requirements. Now only 2500 words would be needed, that total now including the References. She apologized, wishing she could offer more assistance, but this was as much as she was able to do, aside from answering questions during her office hours. She finished by wishing everyone well and to contact her immediately if there was anything she could do for anyone.

And this was why Dr. Wu was your favorite professor. Sure, she was strict and her assignments could be difficult, but she was always more than happy to help the students out. You had visited her numerous times needing clarification on assignment instructions or help understanding something about that day’s lecture, and she walked you through everything step-by-step. She even made diagrams for you because she knew you learned best with visuals!

A sharp knock on the bathroom door snapped you out of your thoughts.

“Be right out!” you called.

You washed your hands and left, apologizing to the waiting customer.

“MC, I need one cheese bread and two chocolate croissants.”

“On it, Boss.” You threw the three pastries in the toaster oven.

As you continued working on other orders, your mind drifted to what you had to work on today.

‘Ok, finished up everything for Boid last night! Well, most of us did. Still need Sasha to finish up her slides. Dm her today. If she doesn’t respond, try her socials, then school email. If she still doesn’t respond by tomorrow, email professor. It would be short notice, so let Boid know you have a backup plan. (Side note: make a backup plan). We’ll rehearse on Thursday. Final exam for this class is now next Wednesday at 1:15 pm.

Melendez: everything fully complete and submitted last night!! Text everyone asap about rehearsing Wednesday. Then final exam next Thursday at 10:05 am.

Wu: thanks to her reducing the requirements, I don’t need to worry about the word count anymore! Actually, I think I have 500 words over now. Just focus on the quality. Continue making sure all the info, especially the citations, are correct. Add in your references, format everything, then send it in. I really wanna impress her, so make sure this essay is good. This paper counts as our final exam too. Even more of a reason to put your best foot? paper? forward.

Foley: Original report completed. fucking finally! everyone finished their parts of the PowerPoint (except for John of course)! Standardize the formatting tonight. Oh, don't forget to text the group chat about John being MIA and what days and times for a Zoom meeting would work. Confirm Thursday appointment with both the writing center and the rest of the team. Now, i just have to deal with the case study. Start working on that tonight. Final exam next Saturday at 8:00 am.’

You sighed.

‘Keep holding on! Things are looking up,’ you reminded yourself.

It was true. You had received some great news today and you were feeling a bit better, lighter. It was still a mess, still stressful, but it was more manageable now.

That had been almost an hour ago.

And unfortunately, you were beginning to feel tired again.

The sleep deprivation and lack of food was wearing on you. It was getting harder to keep up your energy. You planned on taking your break early, but as the door opened and you saw that red and black hat peeking in, you gasped in excitement.

“Hi Pierrot! Welcome!”

The clown walked up to the register, doing his best to smile as brightly as he could. He gave a little wave too for extra measure. But as he got closer, you immediately noticed the bags under his eyes.

“Hey, is everything okay? Are you feeling alright? You look pretty tired.”

Pierrot nodded a couple times in response, but you weren’t so easily convinced.

Was everything okay at the circus? How long had he been feeling like this? Why was he still out there flyering, even more susceptible to irate strangers? How could you help him?

It was difficult to try and ask him all these questions since Pierrot would be unable to respond anyways.

How you wished he was allowed to speak freely. Then he could tell you everything that was going on. You desperately wanted to wrap him up in warm, soft blankets and curl up with him and Harlequin in bed and just fall asleep. You three would stay like that for the whole day, responsibilities be damned.

At the very least, you just wanted to hold his hand. Alas, that was not possible right now.

You tried to express your worry for him and desire to find out more information or how you could be of help, but all that came out of your mouth were stuttered sentence fragments as you tripped over your words.

Pierrot knew what you were trying to say. He looked into your eyes. You searched for any signs of pain, but only found comfort and reassurance.

That was all you needed. You smiled, straightened up, took a deep breath, and put on your best customer service voice.

“The usual?” you asked, “Or, would you like something a little different?”

He tilted his head inquisitively, bells jingling.

“Nothing crazy, just adding another shot of espresso.”

Pierrot tapped a finger against his mask in thought. Then, with a smile, he held up two fingers.

“Two extra shots in your usual milkshake?”

An affirmative nod.

“Coming right up!”

You began making Pierrot’s drink. Keeping your balance had become more of a problem today and it was hard seeing the fill lines of the blender. Even the numbers on the scale were difficult to see clearly.

Pierrot, of course, noticed each little thing.

Another ding of the door’s bell.

Boss greeted the customer as they walked, or rather, shuffled to the counter. They too were swaying a bit, so they leaned against the counter.

Their long black hair was tied back haphazardly. They wore two different patterned socks of different lengths, sweatpants and a wrinkly hoodie. The hoodie bore the same name and insignia of your university. You had told him and Harlequin your university’s name a few times, but Pierrot had never seen its crest before. Since this person went to the same school you did, he paid extra close attention.

“Hey MC.”

“Hey Davi! Great to see you out in the open again.”

“Ah, thanks. Had to get out of the library for a bit or else I was gonna go insane.”

“Completely understood. But hey, it’s good you’re prioritizing yourself like that. Finals, especially Foley’s, are killer, no matter how many times you go through them. And because I assume you need a pick-me-up, would you like an espresso-based drink?”

“The strongest one on the menu.”

“Hmmm…how about a dead eye coffee?”

“What’s in it?”

“A cup of regular brewed coffee topped with three shots of espresso.”

“Sounds fuckin’ perfect.”

“Awesome, your drink will be done soon. Please have a seat wherever.”

Davi took a seat at the table next to Pierrot. He didn’t know why. The café wasn’t exactly at maximum capacity, but there were still plenty of other tables they could’ve sat at.

“Hey, dude. Cool hat.”

Pierrot turned his head towards your apparent classmate. He looked around, even turned his head to check if there was someone behind him. He turned to face Davi again and pointed at himself, just to be sure.

“Yeah, you. I like your hat. The stars add a nice touch.”

…Well, that was…rare. Pierrot nodded his head once in thanks.

He looked around awkwardly. More and more humans had been nicer to him today. He was appreciative of this, don’t get him wrong. The last thing he wanted to deal with right now was any sort of harassment, but it still made him wonder.

His clothes weren’t any different, neither was his cologne…

Unable to figure it out, Pierrot looked back at you, who had been observing him the whole time. You gave him a small smile, and continued working on his milkshake.

You had seen the whole exchange with Davi and couldn’t stop your smile from growing. It always warmed your heart to see others being nice to the clowns. They truly deserved every compliment and act of kindness shown their way.

“MC, want me to start on that dead eye for you?”

“If you could. Thank you so much, Carol! I’m just about done here.”

True to your word, you added some chocolate drizzle and finished off the drink.

“One strawberry chocolate coffee milkshake!”

Pierrot made his way to the counter to your adorably excited self. You were bouncing on the tips of your toes, eager for him to see his modified drink.

“So, what do you think?” you asked as you handed him the milkshake.

You had added more chocolate syrup, remembering how much he liked that flavor. However, instead of lining the cup as you normally did, you somehow made intricate swirl designs all over the inside of the cup. Some even formed little hearts! The chocolate curled around a star you made on one side from a portion of the bottom strawberry layer. If that wasn’t enough, you added red sprinkles and another gratuitous helping of chocolate drizzle on top of the large dollop of extra caffeinated coffee.

Pierrot’s eyes widened, turning into the largest hearts you’d seen yet. A red blush spread across his face, his smile wide.

Your handiwork was immaculate! Stunning! Wondrous! Every synonym he could think of in all the languages he knew didn’t do your work justice.

Pierrot had visited many a cafe with his circus family, and no barista had this level of craftsmanship. Even more so because it was made with so much love and care! He just wanted to stare at it, too afraid to ruin your artistry. The fact that you went so out of your way to do this for him made him almost cry from happiness and cover you in kisses right then and there.

“Do you like it?”

He nodded his head so vigorously, you were afraid he’d accidentally throw his hat off. The sight was so endearing, you couldn’t stop the blush appearing on your face either.

“Aw, I’m so glad!” Again, making sure no one was listening in on you, you whispered, “Made extra special for you.” You returned to your position and said “That’ll be $5.00 even.”

Pierrot was confused. $5.00 for all this work? That didn’t seem right.

You chuckled a bit and mouthed subtly ‘Free of charge.’

His eyebrows furrowed and he looked to Boss.

“Thank you for your concern, but I’ll be just fine,” you said with a giggle.

“One dead eye for Davi,” Carol called.

No one came up to the counter.

“Davi?”

The customer in question was still sitting, fast asleep.

“I got this, guys,” you told your coworkers.

You were leaving the register to go wake them up, when Pierrot waved goodbye. You returned his wave with your usual “Thank you, come again!”

It was almost time for lunch, so Pierrot walked down the street back to the circus. He turned the cup in his hands, still admiring it. He could’ve looked at it all day, but didn’t want your delicious handiwork to go to waste. He took a drink, making sure to get every flavor.

The first thing that hit him was the caffeine.

Pierrot’s yellow pupils dilated and his strength returned almost immediately. His pace picked up speed.

Then came the taste of the chocolate, the strawberry, the sweetness of your love.

He took hungry swallows, even licking the inside of the cup with his long tongue.

He played back how your expression visibly brightened when you saw him enter the café, how you always kept your eyes on him, just as he did with you, how cute you looked bouncing on your feet ready to hand him the milkshake you were so proud of, the time you took to make sure everything was delicately placed just so, how you were so eager to help him out, and all the sacrifices you made for him.

Then he remembered how exhausted and stressed you’ve been lately. He nor Harlequin had been able to see you much, let alone have a conversation with you that lasted longer than five minutes. He remembered last night, watching as you toiled away on your laptop.

His smile grew impossibly more, taking on a sinister edge as he thought about all the sacrifices he’d make for you…!

Pierrot and Harlequin would do anything to see your lovely smile again. To see you laugh uproariously, to listen intently, seeing your eyes sparkle again as you spoke about something you loved, to talk with you again about everything.

Anything.

He brought his now empty cup to his face. The little chocolate hearts had gotten smudged, retaining only shadows of their original form.

Pierrot’s teeth sharpened and he licked the hearts clean off.

There was nothing he wouldn’t do to ensure your happiness, safety, and wellbeing.

Nothing.

Meanwhile, back at the café, Davi had just left back to library, dead eye halfway gone.

You were sprinkling cinnamon for a custom caramel macchiato, but your mind kept drifting back to your classmate.

Seeing Davi in that state reminded you how easy it was to not take time for yourself when you were stressed like this. So you made a decision: you were going to the circus tonight.

Many of your deadlines were extended and you had made a lot of progress on your work lately. You deserved at least an hour or two of respite. Plus, seeing Pierrot and Harlequin today made your week. You needed to see them again. And you had a feeling they needed to see you too.

==================================================

MC finally gets a break!! 🎉 i didn’t want to drag out their pain too much. additionally, bc i forgot to include some details like exams in prev chapters, i tried to correct that error here w “deadline extensions and reductions” lmao!

“One flat white, one vanilla macchiato, and two croissants coming right up! Hey Carol—”

“—Croissants already in the oven!”

“Thank youuu!”

You begun preparing the espresso, trying to look as happy as you could while your body ached.

You fell asleep in such an awkward position last night. It must’ve been more comfortable than you thought though because you didn’t hear any of your five alarms this morning. The only thing that woke you up was your headphones falling onto your bedside table with a loud THWACK!

With the espresso ready, you and Carol assembled the drinks as Boss continued taking orders at the register. The drinks were ready just as the oven beeped, letting you know the croissants were ready too. You were about to ask Carol if she could please get them out of the oven and you’d take care of the rest. Before you could even ask, Carol was at the front, food already packaged and drinks ready to go.

“Flat white, vanilla macchiato, and two croissants for Raul!” Carol called.

You were so thankful for Carol and her impeccable work ethic. She’d saved you more times than you could count. You honestly didn’t know what you’d do without her.

The bell above the door dinged again.

“Welcome! What can we—ooh hi, Harlequin! One iced coffee to go?”

The green clown leaned casually against the counter. “You know me so well, Dear One~”

“Well, how could I not remember the order of one of my favorite customers?” you said cheekily with a wink.

You were patiently waiting for the day when you could refer to him and Pierrot as your boyfriends in public, but to keep your ties to the circus hidden (for the safety of everyone), Pierrot insisted that all three of you agreed to keep it personable, but professional when you were at work. The idea was even more surprising coming from him of all people. But as he said, he would do anything to keep his loved ones safe. Even if that meant hiding his love for you, no matter how much it killed him inside.

‘One of these days…’ you wishfully thought as you brewed the coffee. You hadn’t realized it, but Harlequin had been staring at you more intensely than usual.

“Dear One?”

“Hm?”

“It’s been far too long since we’ve seen each other for more than a couple minutes for a coffee order. How have you been lately?” He tried to keep his tone as casual and nonchalant as usual, but even he couldn’t stop the concern from tainting his voice.

Your skin was a bit paler than normal, your un-hidden eye bags more visible. You were also slightly swaying as you stood in place.

“Uhm, I’ve been good. Well, okay, I guess. School’s just been…a bit much. Finals, y’know?” Harlequin, in fact, did not know.

“Finals. Yes…How…troublesome they are.”

“Mhmmmm. As much as I despise finals for obvious reasons, they’ve been keeping me away from you guys—um, y-y’know, because I miss going to see your cool performances!”

Nice save.

“And we of course miss your delightful presence in our tents,” Harlequin replied coolly. “When can the circus expect your return?”

“After this Sunday. That’s when Hell Month finishes! Well, for us students. Our professors still have to put in the grades and stuff.”

Hell Month?? What on this insipid planet was that?? Was this part of a new human thing they somehow didn’t know about? It must have been local because this is the first time Harlequin has ever heard of something like that. ‘Month’ implies that this is a regular occurrence, too. And MC said it so casually!

Harlequin had several questions. Unfortunately, they would have to wait until later because you just finished up his order. He noticed you added some whipped cream with green sprinkles on top.

You laughed under your breath as Harlequin quizzically eyed the new sweet additions gracing his coffee. You looked around to make sure Boss, Carol, or any other customers weren’t in listening range.

“Don’t worry, those are free of charge,” you whispered to him with a sly, but affectionate smile. “Your total is $4.25,” you said in your regular customer service voice.

He thanked you, handing you the money and a generous tip.

“Thank you and come again!” Despite how tired you were, your smile shone brighter than the closest star. Though it was not enough to melt Harlequin’s worries away. He left the café, taking another look at you from the windows.

A group of six walked up to the registers where you still stood. They were talking amongst themselves while occasionally telling you something. Based on your confused expression and hands quickly tapping and retapping on the monitor, the group seemed to keep changing their order.

Worry rushed through Harlequin’s veins as you and your coworkers began rushing around as the group of six stood idly by.

Did no one see how exhausted you were?! Or was this some kind of sick game the humans made for their “Hell Month?”

Harlequin stirred the whipped cream into his coffee, pensive.

‘No wonder Pierrot came home so late last night.’

He took a cautious sip. He normally liked his iced coffee as is, but this wasn’t bad! Not bad at all. The sprinkles did make the drink sweeter, but it was not overbearing like he'd originally expected. They had to have been made in-house because they were delicious!

Another sip.

The whipped cream made the coffee smoother, creamier, and added a hint of vanilla. It gave the drink a new lightness that complimented the sprinkles and cold coffee perfectly.

The drink was intriguing, refreshing, and delightfully sweet...just like you.

Apprehensive sips soon became desperate gulps.

Bells jingled lightly in the distance.

Pierrot seemed to be doing well, all things considered. He was successfully handing out flyers with not even a stumble in his step. Though he did look quite tired. His energy seemed to be more subdued, his smile not as wide. Interestingly, more people were taking his flyers than from the rest of the crew. It was most likely that Pierrot's tired appearance and toned-down demeanor made the humans more sympathetic to him.

How unusual.

Harlequin threw away his empty coffee cup by a trash can outside the café, taking the opportunity to peer into the window one final time.

You were sitting at a table in the very back, eyes closed, head resting against the wall. Your rest was unfortunately interrupted by your phone. After going off four times, you irritably unlocked it. Whatever was going on made you sink further into the chair. You tried to resume your previous resting position, when what looked to be an alarm on your phone rang. Pinpricks of tears welled in the corners of your eyes as you massaged your temples before going right back to work making drinks, smiling like you weren’t completely miserable.

Harlequin wasted no time, walking over to Pierrot in large strides.

“Meet me at my tent after lunch. We need to talk.”

==================================================

it's been too long since i've last had a nice, sweet iced coffee lmao!

Also:

I found this article: https://sca.coffee/sca-news/25/issue-22/understanding-coffee-sweetness and it said that the opposite of sweetness was sour aka "green" flavors. Obvious, but interesting they called them green. I also found out some other interesting things about coffee's sweetness, along with some history and a bit of science, so I wanted to share it with y'all!

Pierrot's suggestion of hiding their relationship was inspired by one of the AMA answers where someone asked about keeping both MC and his family safe, and he said he'd find a solution that would work for everyone. (Very much paraphrased from the OG lol)

Harlequin was sitting next to Doctor at the table directly across from Pierrot. The clown in question was eating slowly. His coffee, which he was taking large swigs of, looked darker as well, A few fine lines under his eyes were visible.

“Pierrot, are you feeling alright?” asked Jester.

“Yes, I’m fine. Thank you.”

Doctor then got up from his seat and put a gloved hand to Pierrot’s forehead. Just to be sure, he checked his pulse too.

“Everything seems to be in order. However, your heart rate is slower than normal. If it’s just sleep deprivation, you should be back to normal after several hours of quality rest.”

“So that extra sleep didn’t help you…I was afraid of that.”

“But I’ll be okay! I can still hand out flyers and perform tonight too.”

Jester hummed in thought. He and Ticket Taker shared a subtle glance.

“If you say you’re well enough, I believe you. But just to be safe, Harlequin, keep closer to Pierrot when you two are out flyering today.”

“Of course. Anything to make sure he’s at his best.”

Pierrot gave him a nasty glare from across the table, to which Harlequin returned with a knowing smile.

Breakfast continued as normal. Jester and Ticket Taker provided updates on the technical aspects on the circus.

Meanwhile, Harlequin took a drink of his coffee. Bitterness overwhelmed his tastebuds. He could taste traces of his own coffee, but it was mixed with something else, something harsher, darker, richer. He didn’t know what it was and couldn’t exactly describe it, but it certainly did not mix well together.

He must have really gotten on Pierrot’s nerves this morning. Either that, or the sleep deprivation effected him more than he thought.

He tried to play it cool, but his face must’ve shown otherwise.

“Harlequin? What’s the matter?”

Harlequin turned to his right. Doctor, who had been discussing his latest experiment, was looking at him with concern, along with Jester and Ticket Taker. Pierrot, however, simply continued eating his pão de queijo, a small victorious smile on his face.

“Nothing. My coffee is just stronger than expected. Apologies for the interruption. Please Doctor, continue.”

The culprit behind the act was obvious. The three clowns turned to Pierrot, who looked back at them with wide, innocent eyes.

Conversation slowly started back up again as Jester went over the day’s goals and expectations.

“Is everyone clear on their responsibilities today?” he concluded.

A round of ‘Yes, Jester’ was said in unison.

“Very well. If you run into any issues, you know where Ticket Taker and I are.”

The group dispersed. Ticket Taker, however, remained seated. He continued drinking his coffee, patiently waiting for Jester to speak his thoughts.

“Bil.”

“Yes?”

“I’m concerned about those two.”

“I am as well.”

“First, Pierrot starts to spend less time rehearsing. As a result, his performances became sloppier. Then Harlequin’s performances suffered too. Neither by much, and the guests didn’t take much notice, but you and I could tell.”

Ticket Taker agreed. After looking over the spreadsheets of their performances for the past two weeks, the numbers only confirmed it. Even Harlequin wasn’t immune to this. Like with Pierrot’s, the difference in his performances wasn’t too obvious to the humans, but Ticket Taker and Jester could start seeing his usual finesse decreasing bit by bit.

“The timing of this phenomenon is strange,” added Ticket Taker. “Nothing notable has transpired lately. Sales have been steady. We haven’t had much trouble from guests either.”

Jester had a theory.

“Nothing has happened on our end,” he said, “but I fear something has occurred elsewhere. Namely with Pierrot’s and Harlequin’s little pet.” Disdain was evident in his voice. He could not believe how much of a hold that singular, pathetic, miserable creature had on them. Worst part was, they probably didn’t even know it.

Jester saw Ticket Taker resting his hand on the table. Despite how aggravated he was, he placed his hand gently by the other’s. The two simultaneously interlaced their fingers together. Ticket Taker rubbed his thumb across Jester’s knuckles, immediately soothing him.

“I can look at the city’s local calenders to see if anything of importance was written down,” Ticket Taker assured. “News outlets haven’t mentioned anything atypical so far either, but I will conduct further research and report anything I learn back to you.”

“But—”

“There is no need to concern yourself with such frivolities. Continue doing what you do best. I will take care of everything else.”

“As you always do so perfectly.”

They stayed like that for a few moments, enjoying each other’s presence. With one final squeeze, they let go of each other’s hands.

“I’ll collect the plates, Jester. Oh, and please tell Pierrot I’ll make lunch and dinner today too.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive.”

Jester nodded once. He got up from the chair to begin flyering with the others, but not before a final look back at Ticket Taker, who had collected their plates and was already beginning the process of washing dishes.

Jester smiled to himself as he grabbed his stack of flyers.

What would he do without him? Without any of them?

Jester’s smile immediately disappeared. Two hypothetical questions that did not need answering…

He exited the circus and passed by Harlequin and Pierrot. So far, they looked fine, though Pierrot’s posture was a tad hunched over. He relayed Ticket Taker’s lunch and dinner responsibilities to which the other two clowns nodded. Pierrot was especially grateful. He needed to save up as much energy as he could for tonight.

Jester soon departed, but not before giving a sideways glance to that cafe.

It looked crowded. Full of people sitting at the many wooden tables, some in line at the register, chatting away over coffee and pastries, enjoying their morning.

The sight disgusted him.

Then his eyes landed on you, at the epicenter of everything.

You looked awful, especially pitiable today. And the constant stream of orders did not help your state at all.

His gaze lingered.

You jogged this way and that, always carrying either plates of food, drinks, or small takeout bags. You nearly tripped over your feet a couple times in the process.

Had Jester not known you, he would’ve called the sight before him mildly entertaining. However, that was sadly not the case. He did know you. Even more so, he knew his family and just how much Pierrot and Harlequin cared about you.

Jester sighed softly.

He continued on past the cafe, not daring to linger for too long.

Looks like his theory was right after all.

==================================================

now the whole troupe is here!!!

(btw yall is there a ship name for Jester x Ticket Taker?)

Currently working on ch 11 (and 12-16) of All-Nighters!!

(still lmao, life has been kinda draining with my uni work and personal things 😔 but i'm just so happy to keep writing this fic!)

current word count = 4.7k (the longest chapter i've ever written!!! i'm super proud of myself!!)

this chapter will conclude the Night of the Fools arc

curious as to what the Night of the Fools arc is? Chapters 5-10 are on ao3 if you would like to read more!

i've been spacing out my tumblr chapter uploads so i don't spam yall and to give myself time to catch up on finishing the other chapters, so sorry!

next up is the Observation arc (ch 12-16/17)

Word Counts for All-Nighters' Chapters 12-16:

ch 12 = 1.5k

ch 13 = 2.6k

ch 14 = 3k

ch 15 = 3.6k

ch 16 = 660

and that's bc i still have scenes to add to all of these! then edit them lol!

there will be a 'bonus scenes' chapter for ch 15 bc my brain FIXATED on this part lmaooooo (so ig ch 16 would technically be ch 17)

Drafting a couple fics for Pride!!

Columbina x F!reader (but still using they/them pronouns)

Greenapple collab act for the circus

i really wanted to do one with Jester x TT on a date and having Doctor categorize either the seven different types of attraction or explore asexuality and/or aromanticism. unfortunately, i only have vague ideas and no set plot, so these will be done at a later date. so sorry yall!

i really want to finish and post these before the month is over!

......then i really want to write a TFC Devil Wears Prada AU

(lmaooooo i need to STOP this is like my 2nd or 3rd tfc au, but its super fun so i dont want to LMAO)

MC/Reader as Andy

Jester as Miranda

TT as Nigel

....and that's all i got. i was thinking of Carol or Doctor as Emily, Pierrot as Nate BUT SUPPORTIVE bc bruh og Nate and Andy's "friends" pmoooo), then Harlequin as Christian, but idk yet. still in the idea phase

its not gonna be an exact 1:1 either, i do plan to make changes

like for example Jester and TT will be together in this AU (they will be together in every au, maybe even every tfc fic, i write lol, i just love the ship so much!

this is a super rough idea, so a lot will change lol