Sally Stardust

Honestly? I can't tell if I need an inhaler to deal with bronchitis, or if being sick is causing so much PTSD that my anxiety is tightening my chest several times daily. Can't tell the difference.

What should have been a two-day cold has been a week of hell, thanks to my autoimmune disorder. I now have bronchitis and an infection in my lungs. My partner literally got the same illness two days after me, was over it in a day, and then went back to taking care of me. I'm so tired I can't function. Yesterday I fell asleep at 9:00pm and woke up at 10:00am. I just want to be okay again so I can dance and live my life. It always sucks to have weeks like this where I am harshly reminded of how very, very real my disorder is. I can't even beat this simple cold. I have to go on steroids and antibiotics.

Tonight I finally stood up for myself, my ideals, my friends... a lot of things. It's something I've been wanting to do for a very long time, but I always wimped out. It feels good. I am grateful to now have the confidence in myself and the support in my life that allows me to initiate confrontation when I need to. I don't feel like I'm being stupid or overly emotional, I'm not doubting my decisions. It's amazing the changes that occur when you take yourself out of abuse.