Mister Sister

Hello internet (aka future me cause let’s get real no one reads this)!

It has been a WILD couple of months. We lost our precious baby boy (read: precious baby doggo) Mr. Evan Peters, which was devastating and sent us both into a terrible place. But time heals all of us fools, and we are both doing way better.

Bear got a shiny new job at a place where terrible men aren’t always trying to attack her, which is good, and she met the cutest giant man, and honestly????? So cute.

It’s tough figuring out your feelings when people have used the “poly” label to cheat and/or phase people out (my only kinds of experiences so far because I have terrible taste in humans wheeeeee) and ultimately fucked my trust in any partner’s partner not being out to hurt and use me.

BUT LET ME TELL YA HWAT.

He is so sweet!!! And we hung out forever yesterday with just us ~~boys~~ and talked about brain stuff and poly stuff and art stuff and he is just so nice, and he is happily married to a super cool lady with the fanciest Captain America shield and Totoro stuff everywhere, and she’s demisexual so he totally goes out of his way to learn about other experiences and makes such wholesome “I’m a garbage white man” jokes and is just the bee’s knees.

Not to say I haven’t had any struggle at all coping with feelings of jealousy/insecurity/abandonment anxiety, but it just feels so much easier to talk about now that I have a partner who actually 1) wants to hear it and 2) understands that me having feelings about it doesn’t mean I’m not supportive or don’t know the kind of attraction where you just happen to also like someone who’s not your primary but rather that I have been in two cycles of shitty polyamory with uncommunicative assholes who ended up using and then ghosting me after claiming to love and/or care about me (and their other partners), which makes me (understandably, in my opinion) hesitant and/or insecure. Anyway, a lot of good communicating and friendship and relating is happening lately, and I thought it was important to share for future me and maybe the one or two folks who read this.

You’re not broken just because you’re afraid. You’re not bad just because you’ve been hurt. You’re not an asshole just because you have a pace and concerns that you need to talk about. Feelings and relationships and people are complicated, dynamic things that need some form of support and validation, and that’s natural. Talking about it can be hard and feel almost impossible because the words are too big and unformable for any one person to do alone, but that doesn’t mean you don’t sit down and try to figure it out, anyway.

So, yeah. That’s just an update from your friendly neighbourhood queerdo. ✌🏽