Heyooo! The whole âPaul singing in prison and challenging other prisoners to a jumping competitionâ strike me as a heavy fawn response. Do you have thoughts on his fawn response or how it would connect to his need to please people?
(Sorry if this is worded weirdly lol)
Oh no doubt! Very good observation, Anon. Paul is the absolute King of fawning. If it weren't for Paul's fawning and people-pleasing, there would've been no Beatles at all, and I will die on that hill.
The Connection Between Fawning and People Pleasing
The differences between the two show up in the origins as well as the manifestations. Fawning is a physiological response.
When a child's brain develops amid dangerous circumstances, the child's brain will begin sending signals to the body before it even asks itself what to do, because quick action is necessary for survival. Then, after the child has left the dangerous environment, the brain continues bypassing decision-making automatically whenever anything remotely resembles danger. That's the origin of fawning.
When a child's behaviors that put others ahead of themselves are reinforced by caregivers, the child learns on a more cognitive level to try and minimize their own needs in favor of pleasing others. That's the origin of people-pleasing.
On the outside, the behaviors are the same.
The difference is fawning happens as a biological fear response whereas people-pleasing happens as a calculated decision.
Paul, like many people, does some of both.
What Paul's Fawning Looked Like In Jail
He tells us he was "terrified" and that the experience was "scary." His biggest and his most immediate fear was of being "raped" by a guard. And actually his response to that seems more like a freeze response to me. He doesn't sleep the first few nights, he keeps his back to the wall, he refuses to change out of his clothes. He makes a plan with himself that he won't give in even if he's starving.
But after a few days, he says, his "survival instincts" kicked in, and what he considered to be his instinctive means of staying alive is very very interesting. He says competitiveness and connection are the traits he depended on to keep himself sane and safe.
His strategy seems to be, whether he actually thinks it through or not, that no one is going to want to hurt the Yakuza's new jukebox, his voice echoing through the cells as he's slapping out a rhythm with his hands on the bare floor, ignoring the guards' calls for silence. Leading a group sing-along in the shower. Shouting whatever Japanese words he can think of through cell walls. Making up juvenile games for everyone to play. You want to keep that guy around. Why? Because he's useful. Something that jail lacked was entertainment, and Paul knows he can fill that lack. And if he's useful, he's safe. If he's making people happy, he's safe.
And I mean, he's absolutely right. His previous fawning even set up his escape. I mean if he was anyone other than Chart-topping, Stadium-filling, Iconic ex-Beatle Paul McCartney, he was not getting out of a seven-year sentence after ten days. He's really good at it. It literally keeps him alive. It's what kept him from going hungry and bought him his freedom originally.
There's also the side of his competitive survival instinct that's more people pleasing than fawning. It's not so much the "let's keep Jim in a good mood" it's the "let's get some affection out of Mary". You know? So it's less an attempt to neutralize threats and more an attempt to gain favor with an authority figure. So yeah, he does both.
Other Examples of Paul's Behavior that Could be Fawning
Seeming to go along with some of Klein's ideas and then bringing in the Eastmans the next day and having them say no
Taking a hit for John on a bus and then trying to make friends with the guy
Apologizing to Linda because he didn't know he was allowed to be tired
Making sure to say goodbye to each member of the film crew by name during the first US visit
Talking down screaming fans who wanted to chase him down the street and tear at his clothes hair etc. And being friendly and "normal" until they chilled out
All of his behavior in Get Back with every single authority figure, sitting in laps, twirling his hair, "oh is this your place, then, Twickenham?" "I don't actually know how it works, see."
His merged identity with John
The LSD trip with John
Getting John and Yoko back together
Good-copping interviewers while the others are being terrors
Performing in response to gangsters' threats in Hamburg
Examples of Paul's Behavior that are Very Much not Fawning (just for contrast's sake)
purposely trying to piss John Lennon off when he was mad at him
doing whatever the fuck he wanted rather than joining John's usual gang of followers
Giving in pretty much every time to his compulsion to control even when it made everyone hate him
Following his artistic muse and whims regardless of whether it would be critically or commercially successful and in fact breaking lots of rules and taking lots of risks artistically
Closing off and seeming unable to open up even when that was what those he loved needed from him
Refusing steadfastly in the face of serious bullying from Klein to go with him as a manager
Following his heart, John, his dreams, etc rather than doing what Jim told him to do with his life
