I wish you'd see it's only me

(Sorry if this is worded weirdly lol)

Oh no doubt! Very good observation, Anon. Paul is the absolute King of fawning. If it weren't for Paul's fawning and people-pleasing, there would've been no Beatles at all, and I will die on that hill.

The Connection Between Fawning and People Pleasing

The differences between the two show up in the origins as well as the manifestations. Fawning is a physiological response.

When a child's brain develops amid dangerous circumstances, the child's brain will begin sending signals to the body before it even asks itself what to do, because quick action is necessary for survival. Then, after the child has left the dangerous environment, the brain continues bypassing decision-making automatically whenever anything remotely resembles danger. That's the origin of fawning.

When a child's behaviors that put others ahead of themselves are reinforced by caregivers, the child learns on a more cognitive level to try and minimize their own needs in favor of pleasing others. That's the origin of people-pleasing.

On the outside, the behaviors are the same.

The difference is fawning happens as a biological fear response whereas people-pleasing happens as a calculated decision.

Paul, like many people, does some of both.

What Paul's Fawning Looked Like In Jail

He tells us he was "terrified" and that the experience was "scary." His biggest and his most immediate fear was of being "raped" by a guard. And actually his response to that seems more like a freeze response to me. He doesn't sleep the first few nights, he keeps his back to the wall, he refuses to change out of his clothes. He makes a plan with himself that he won't give in even if he's starving.

But after a few days, he says, his "survival instincts" kicked in, and what he considered to be his instinctive means of staying alive is very very interesting. He says competitiveness and connection are the traits he depended on to keep himself sane and safe.

His strategy seems to be, whether he actually thinks it through or not, that no one is going to want to hurt the Yakuza's new jukebox, his voice echoing through the cells as he's slapping out a rhythm with his hands on the bare floor, ignoring the guards' calls for silence. Leading a group sing-along in the shower. Shouting whatever Japanese words he can think of through cell walls. Making up juvenile games for everyone to play. You want to keep that guy around. Why? Because he's useful. Something that jail lacked was entertainment, and Paul knows he can fill that lack. And if he's useful, he's safe. If he's making people happy, he's safe.

And I mean, he's absolutely right. His previous fawning even set up his escape. I mean if he was anyone other than Chart-topping, Stadium-filling, Iconic ex-Beatle Paul McCartney, he was not getting out of a seven-year sentence after ten days. He's really good at it. It literally keeps him alive. It's what kept him from going hungry and bought him his freedom originally.

There's also the side of his competitive survival instinct that's more people pleasing than fawning. It's not so much the "let's keep Jim in a good mood" it's the "let's get some affection out of Mary". You know? So it's less an attempt to neutralize threats and more an attempt to gain favor with an authority figure. So yeah, he does both.

Other Examples of Paul's Behavior that Could be Fawning

Seeming to go along with some of Klein's ideas and then bringing in the Eastmans the next day and having them say no

Taking a hit for John on a bus and then trying to make friends with the guy

Apologizing to Linda because he didn't know he was allowed to be tired

Making sure to say goodbye to each member of the film crew by name during the first US visit

Talking down screaming fans who wanted to chase him down the street and tear at his clothes hair etc. And being friendly and "normal" until they chilled out

All of his behavior in Get Back with every single authority figure, sitting in laps, twirling his hair, "oh is this your place, then, Twickenham?" "I don't actually know how it works, see."

His merged identity with John

The LSD trip with John

Getting John and Yoko back together

Good-copping interviewers while the others are being terrors

Performing in response to gangsters' threats in Hamburg

Examples of Paul's Behavior that are Very Much not Fawning (just for contrast's sake)

purposely trying to piss John Lennon off when he was mad at him

doing whatever the fuck he wanted rather than joining John's usual gang of followers

Giving in pretty much every time to his compulsion to control even when it made everyone hate him

Following his artistic muse and whims regardless of whether it would be critically or commercially successful and in fact breaking lots of rules and taking lots of risks artistically

Closing off and seeming unable to open up even when that was what those he loved needed from him

Refusing steadfastly in the face of serious bullying from Klein to go with him as a manager

I can supply that overview, if you'd like - please feel free to ask any followup questions you may have (you will probably have some followup questions - I feel like only 1968 comes close to 1998-2008 for sheer insanity in Paul's biography, but at least he spread this breakdown out over a decade instead of cramming it into a few months lol).

In the broadest of strokes, Paul met - or rather, clapped eyes on - Heather Mills at the inaugural Pride of Britain Awards on 20 May 1999. He was there to present an animal welfare award in Linda's name and she was there to introduce a disabled young person who was being recognized. This is 13 months after Linda died and, if I may be crude, Paul was in the midst of the longest sex drought of his entire adult life.

HM is 25.5 years younger than Paul - younger than his daughter Heather and, like, 1.5 years older than Mary. She had, after what sounds like a clusterfuck of an unstable childhood (with multiple unreliable narrators, including HM herself, but it does seem pretty indisputable that it was a mess), embarked upon a modeling career, interrupted by a brief marriage and a subsequent stint as a ski instructor in Slovenia, right as Yugoslavia collapsed and fractured into an extended period of violent conflict and instability. The nature of her modeling career and of some of her relationships would later be subjected to scrutiny and debate, but the main thing to be aware of is that this was not high-fashion modeling - it was, like, swimsuits and some ~glamour photography~ (aka softcore porn). Then, in 1993, she was struck by a police motorcycle while crossing a road in London and, among other injuries, her left leg was amputated below the knee. As a result of this accident and its aftermath, she became a figure in the UK tabloids ("Plucky Model Overcomes Tragic Disability" kind of stuff) and embarked on a career as an advocate for amputees and a motivational speaker. She had some work as a TV presenter and worked to bring prosthetic limbs to people in war zones, including the former Yugoslavia. Many of those folks lost their limbs in incidents involving landmines, so that became a cause of interest to her as well. It's important to note that, despite her flexible relationship with the truth, she never claimed to have lost her leg via a landmine, which is a frequent misconception - that's truly an instance of people putting two and two together and getting five, because she's always been perfectly upfront about the nature of her accident.

There's a lot of conflicting information about much of their relationship, but the short version that is pretty universally agreed upon is that, although they didn't speak to each other at the Pride of Britain thing, Paul, through the magic of being Paul McCartney, got her number and rang her up in June 1999 to offer funding for a project in Sierra Leone. They began meeting and, at some stage, also began shagging. The timeline is quite murky - deliberately so, I think, as she was at that time engaged to a documentary filmmaker who had proposed to her after a 12-day shoot in Cambodia. She broke off the engagement five days before their planned wedding. Speculation that she and Paul were in a relationship began that autumn, but they were not "officially", publicly an item until January 2000. He proposed to her on 23 July 2001 - my 10th birthday, which felt like a huge slap in the face at the time, lol - and they married on 11 June 2002 in a massive shindig in Ireland. Despite asserting that, due to past ectopic pregnancies and other health issues, it was unlikely that she'd be able to conceive or carry a pregnancy to term, they welcomed a child on 28 October 2003, who I generally refer to as B to avoid potential misgendering or deadnaming. (It came out during their divorce that she'd had a miscarriage prior to B, which means she'd been pregnant twice before their first anniversary.)

Now, there was gossip from quite early on that their relationship was volatile - rumors of screaming rows, an incident about a month before the wedding where her engagement ring somehow flew out of a hotel window - and that Paul's adult children really, really hated HM, especially Stella. The tabloid media, which gave her extremely favorable coverage after her accident, turned on her in a big way. There was a lot of discourse that, especially through a 2026 lens, is incredibly misogynistic and ableist. Paul was running a lot of defense and interference for her, but not to a degree she felt was satisfactory. She also had ambitions to become a talkshow host in the US and Paul did leverage his connections to try and make that happen. This was ultimately for naught, due to her being Not Very Good at it, and she blamed Paul for it. HM also has a... flexible relationship with the truth, which became apparent long before she ever said anything negative about Paul.

By 2005, things looked increasingly rocky from the outside, but nothing official transpired until 17 May 2006, when a purportedly joint statement was released announcing their separation. Personally, I question how "joint" this actually was, because I believe HM was in the US at the time and she was, even after the statement, giving rather mixed signals about the state of their marriage. There was always a 50-50 custody situation with B. Then, on 17 July, Paul filed for divorce on the grounds of HM's unreasonable behavior - a fact the media cottoned on to later that month. In October, HM returned fire, denying unreasonable behavior on her part and alleging, to put it mildly, unreasonable behavior by Paul. A few days later, her Cross-Petition (or a draft thereof) was somehow leaked to the UK tabloids, leading to the publication of her claims that Paul was physically and emotionally abusive and drank and drugged to excess. This drama and the hammering out of a financial settlement dragged on until March 2008 - when HM was awarded much, much less money than she'd been asking for - and they were finally, mercifully divorced in May of that year. (In the meantime, Paul had started seeing Nancy after Hot Paul Summer '07 concluded and HM had had a truly unhinged crashout on British television. It was Quite A Time.)

Have you ever thought about teenage John and Paul sneaking around old man Jim, getting a little frisky with each other. That’s be pretty naughty of them right?

Anyway thanks for reading this, have a lovely day and keep on shining! ✨

(❁´ω`❁) ᡣ𐭩 now i have! thanks for the question! (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)⠁⭒*.✩.*⭒⠁

i have a headcanon that john and paul would write children's books together, as lennon-mccartney. this is them with their books

i randomly checked my askbox and saw that this request was sent exactly a year ago, on august 5th. i couldn't ignore the coincidence

(Originally posted on the johnheartpaul community on livejournal)

Context before letter: 

Around the same time, not long after the death of Stu, John wrote one of his many long letters to Cyn in Liverpool, where she was now sharing a flat with Dot, Paul’s girlfriend. Both Cyn and Dot had been out earlier to visit them in Hamburg. John gives the full and exact address of where he was, at the Star Club, which unfortunately he does not always do in his letters and cards. 

The reference to the death of Stu making the newspapers indicates that, despite his young age, Stu’s talent had already been recognized, at least on Merseyside. John was apparently sending money home to Aunt Mimi, or planning to, like a dutiful and grateful son, which shows they were earning a bit more money than he had during their first trip to Germany. 

By ‘throbber’, John meant his erection, which was usually described as a ‘massive throbber’ when he wrote to Cynthia. His remark at the end of the letter about ‘leather panties’ related to a previous letter when he had told Cyn he had bought her some leather pants. She had mistakenly assumed he meant trousers; they were in fact black leather knickers, readily available in shops around the Reeperbahn in Hamburg. Some words have been cut out after the first paragraph at some stage — possibly by Cynthia? 

Letter:

Letter 9: to Cynthia, April 1962 

Star Club 

39 Grosse Freiheit 

Altona Hamburg 

Dear Cyn, 

I love love love you and I’m missing you like mad. Where are you my little 

I wonder why all the newspapers wrote about Stu — especially the People — and how the hell did they find out, who could have told them, as I wrote that I suddenly remembered there’s a fellow at the ‘Jacaranda’ who’s a freelance journalist. Could have been him because Allan Williams has been helping Mrs Sutcliffe or something. I haven’t seen Astrid since the day we arrived. I’ve thought of going to see her but I would be so awkward — and probably the others would come as well and it would be even worse. I won’t write any more about it ’cause it’s not much fun. I love you — I don’t like the idea of Dot moving in permanently with you *cause we could never be alone really — I mean when I come home — can’t she have the other room or find another flat — imagine having her there all the time when we were in bed — and imagine Paul coming all the time — and especially when I wasn’t there. I’d hate the idea. I love you Cyn. 

The club is massive and we only play 3hrs one night and 4 the next — and we play an hour — then an hour break so it doesn’t seem long at all really. The boss of this place is a good skin — we’re off tomorrow ’cause it’s Good Friday and they can’t have music so the boss — (Manfred) is taking us and the other group out for the day in his car and all the rest of them like Horst are coming, so it will be a big mob in our 5 cars. We’re going somewhere healthy like the Ost Sea (Stuart again). 

God, I’m knackered it’s 6 o’clock in the morning and I want you. (I’ve just found out that there’s no post tomorrow so I will pack in good night. I love you, boo! hoo! I hate this place). 

That was Thursday night now its Sunday afternoon. I’ve just wakened up and there’s no post today or tomorrow (Easter Monday, I think) anyway happy Easter Cyn. I love you. We went out, but all we did was eat and eat and eat (Good Friday) it was all free so it was okay. We drove  somewhere about 80 miles away and ate. 

My voice has been gone since I got here (it was gone before I came if I remember rightly). I can’t seem to find it — ah well! I love you Cyn Powell and I wish I was on the way to your flat with the Sunday papers and choccies and a'throbber! Oh Yes! I forgot to tell you I’ve got a GEAR suede overcoat with a belt so I’ll look just like you now! Paul’s leaping about on my head (he’s in a bunk on top of me and he’s snoring!) I can hardly get in a position to write it’s so cramped below stairs, captain. Shurrup McCartney! Grunt grunt. 

I can’t wait to see your new room it will be great seeing it for the first time and having chips and all and a ciggie (don’t let me come home to a regular smoker please Miss Powell). Hmm I can just see YOU and Dot puffing away. I suppose that’s the least of my worries. I love you, Cyn, I miss miss miss you miss powell — I keep remembering all the parts of Hamburg that we went to together. In fact I can’t get away from you — especially on the way, and inside the Seaman’s Mission boo! hoo! I love love love you. x 

Did I tell you that we have a good bathroom with a shower, did I? Did I tell you? Well, I’ve had ONE whole shower, aren’t I a clean little rocker? Hee! Hee! I love you. I haven’t written to Mimi yet but I know how to send her money so it gets there in 2hrs. xxx 

I can’t think what to write now so I will pack in and write some tomorrow seeing as how like I can’t POST IT anyway so good afternoon Cyn, I love you. Yum yum. Will you send me the words to ‘A SHOT OF RHYTHM AND BLUES’ please? There’s not many. 

It’s Monday night and we finished playing about 3/4 hours ago (its 2 o’clock). I’m dead beat my sweet, so I hope you won’t mind if I finish now and have lovely sleep (without you but it’ll still be lovely — don’t be hurt — but I’m so, so tired). I love you Cyn — I hope you realize why this letter took so long lovey but there has been no post Fri, Sat, Sun, Mon — and this one will go by the early morning Tuesday post ’cause I will nip downstairs and post it any minute (handy isn’t it?) I love you, I love you please wait for me and don’t be sad and work hard and be a clever little Cyn Powell. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, write soon ooh it’s a naughty old Hamburg we're living in!! 

All my Love for Ever and ever 

From 

John 

XXXXXX 

XXXXXX 

PS They’re leather PANTIES not pants (just in case y’know!) 

I love you