Butt of the Jokes

/throws up rainbows and sparkles and nice things

I take police reports for a living. The number of people who will happily tell someone “Well officer, this fight started because I smoked crack cocaine earlier,” is astounding and also not at all illegal. The criminal charge is for Possession of a Controlled Substance. If you don’t possess any at the time, there’s no crime. The only thing you can get dinged for is if you’re actively on a drug and driving, in which case - DUI.

Aries: “I’m seventeen and I’m crazy. My uncle says the two always go together. When people ask your age, he said, always say seventeen and insane.”

Taurus: “I’ll be more human when I am settled in my snow and silence.”

Gemini: “It’s rare to meet someone with a mind just as beautiful as their face”

Cancer: “The only way of knowing a person is to love them without hope.”

Leo: “Confidence is quiet. Insecurities are loud.”

Virgo: “Sometimes skulls are thick. Sometimes hearts are vacant. Sometimes words don’t work.”

Libra: “Dusk: a blade of honey between our shadows, draining”

Scorpio: “The only thing I know is this: I am full of wounds and still standing on my feet.”

Sagittarius: “I’ll live how I want, I’ll die how I please; move aside if you can’t take responsibility for me.”

Capricorn: “I’ve been working so hard that I’m exhausted… I feel I won’t be able to do without a few weeks’ rest, so I’m going off to see the sea.“

Aquarius: “At dawn my soul lives forever, at dusk I bathe in eternity.”

by me, a fool who doesnt wanna die anymore 

never make a suicide joke again. yes this includes “i wanna die” as a figure of speech. swear off of it. actually make an effort to change how you think about things.

find something to compliment someone for at least 4 times a day. notice the little things about the world that make you happy, and use that to make other people happy.

talk to people. initiate conversation as often as you possibly can. keep your mind busy and you wont have to worry anymore

picture the bad intrusive thoughts in youe head as an edgy 13 year old and tell them to go be emo somewhere else

Like every time I trip and fall, instead of saying “l’m just a disaster human” I say “I’m the epitome of grace and beauty”

Or like, when I draw a picture I’m not 100% happy with, instead of saying “my art is trash” I say something like “you know I think it’s time we replaced the Mona Lisa”

When you do that you get to make a joke, but you’re ALSO getting practice building yourself up, y’know?

SHARE THIS WITH YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY!