By your command

I’ve decided that I just want a nice older man to hold me and tell me everything is okay. Now how have you come to that conclusion you may ask

Well

I’ve now read (almost) every Kaladin/Dalinar, Kaladin/Teft, Dalinar/Teft, and Kaladin/Dalinar/Teft fics on Ao3,,,

All I must say is that there is no where near enough comfort/actual romance for these poor canonically fucked up characters, yeah yeah let them fuck but I want Teft being so gentle and sweet my teeth could fall out!! Let Dalinar be lovey ahhhhhh. Let Kaladin be LOVED, that man is sad and an orgasm can’t fix everything tbh

My very very guilty pleasure in fanfics is the nightmare trope and hurt/comfort. Like person A wakes up from a nightmare and person B comforts them back to sleep. I know it’s basic but MMM it’s SO GOOD. (Don’t try to read in on my mental state and why I yearn for angst and comfort that’s for a therapist to discover not me) There is SO MUCH potential in these pairings for this like let any of them have a nightmare I’m not even picky anymore. Imagine Dalinar waking from an awful Evi dream or something sad and fucked up and Kaladin holding him AUGH

And sure I could write my own fics and although I haven’t written in years I still might but some of y’all write so well sigh.

Anyways should out to the old man fuckers and those of us who have the demon in our soul who just want to fuck an old man

I’ll go first. I’m calcifur on Ao3. Most would know thats the name of the flame guy from Howl’s moving castle. I loved the name and always thought that’s what I would name my cat if I ever got one of my own. So it’s my username and both my blog name.

Foiazoli can be broken down into two parts. “Zoli” is half of a different screen name I stopped using a few years back that I created by smashing bits and pieces of my deadname together until they created a new name. I abandoned that screen name along with my deadname, but Zoli was cool so I kept it. “Foia” is just a keysmash. I tried several keysmashes to go with Zoli, and picked the nicest looking result.

My username, pronounced Adama + Stache, is taken from the '03 Battlestar Galactica show. Admiral Adama grows a terrific pornstache at one point and it gained an affectionate fan name. It even has its own silly wikipedia page! First Google result if you're curious.

Chapters: 1/3 Fandom: Stormlight Archive - Brandon Sanderson Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Kaladin/Teft (Stormlight Archive) Characters: Kaladin (Stormlight Archive), Teft (Stormlight Archive) Additional Tags: Bondage, Oral Sex, BDSM, Power Dynamics, Orgasm Control, Bottom Kaladin (Stormlight Archive), Submissive Kaladin (Stormlight Archive), <- HOW is that not a tag????, Teft’s firemoss addiction, Love Confessions, Anal Sex, Wall Sex, Crying During Sex Series: Part 6 of Kaladin and Teft have a good fucking time Summary:

“What torture,” Teft agreed. “Letting me suck you off while I re-learn how to deep throat.”

“It’s hardly sucking me off if I’m not getting off, now, is it?”

“Oh, you will. But before then, this belongs to me.” Teft bent and took Kaladin back into his mouth. Kaladin moaned wantonly, and pre-come hit Teft’s tongue. He forced him deeper, dragging that bitterness to the back of his throat where he didn’t taste it as much.

“Yeah,” Kaladin agreed breathily. “If that’s what you want to do with it, you can own my cock for a while.”

———-

Dalinar👏 gets👏 pegged👏 aka A Sample Size of One

Full work and kind of a hot mess of tags on AO3; a little teaser excerpt below!

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The phallus Navani straps on isn’t particularly large; but then, she can’t quite imagine wanting anything huge rammed up her backside, either. Not that she has any experience in that particular department, on the giving or the receiving end.

She’s still vaguely surprised that Dalinar does have that experience. Though perhaps she shouldn’t be; she’d certainly heard things about what soldiers got up to, travelling on long campaigns and sharing barracks as they did.

In any case, it had been quite the conversation she and Dalinar had had, embarrassing yet exciting all at once. Once Dalinar had made the suggestion, Navani had… pretty much interrogated him about what exactly he wanted. It had been rather fun watching her stoic wall of a husband blush and fidget like a youth when it came to explaining how, precisely, he wanted Navani to fuck him.

She might have teased him about it a little; Dalinar had teased her right back about taking notes of his answers.

In her defense, the notes had been extremely helpful. She’d studied them privately. And extensively.