odysseus tying himself to the mast but he's doing some proto shibari type shit to make his tits look really good and his crew isn't saying anything but it's kind of hard not to notice

It's such a disappointment that tearing someone's throat out with your teeth kills them. Sex would be so much more fun if we could maul each other and come back from it.

I think if you get killed in a sexual context the universe should just give you that one for free and let you go again.

i have to defend fictional women who aren't good people because if i don't who else will

the two flavours of this feeling are "i think she is flawed and going through it and figuring her shit out and that's a very human quality that i appreciate seeing in a female character" and "i think it's good she killed and ate those people and i think it's really hot that she didn't feel bad about it because confidence is attractive"

"Isn't it weird that [thing humans commonly eat] is poisonous to literally every domesticated animal" I mean, there's a pretty good chance that [thing humans commonly eat] is at least mildly poisonous to humans, too. One of our quirks as a species is that we think our food is bland if it doesn't have enough poison in it.

some of you have GOT to get comfortable with lying and situational morality and i'm not kidding

Guy who was wrong and then died and came back fine. Nobody figured out what the issue was but the hard reboot seemed to do the trick

Honestly fuck AI for making me have to go on and on defending the dignity of toil like I’m some kind of protestant

Thinking once again about Cú Chulainn, who is called that because he volunteered to be a king called Cullan's dog for a while and we're apparently not supposed to understand that as a kink thing.

i think it’s very important you all know his spear was called the gae bulg and it was an exploding barbed torpedo dildo

why do so many recent fantasy books only have a single non-binary person in them. everyone understands the person is non-binary there is no stumbling over pronouns or need to explain—yes, the wizard librarian we’ve all seen them—but there’s only ever One. the author cares enough to acknowledge the existence of people who fall outside of a gender binary but not enough to invest in there being like. a community. wizard gender studies. there’s just grevory the they/them librarian who sprung fully formed and fully non-binary into the magical land of fortinblargh or whatever the fuck

It's spring now which means the kids in my city have started drawing hopscotches on the sidewalk and as a rule I do every hopscotch I see because 1. Use it or lose it (ability to scotch) and 2. If a child got down on the hardscrabble streets of Boston Massachusetts to draw a scotch the least I can do is use it, but in doing the hopscotches, I've learned that about 50% of them are the typical 8-10 step scotch and the other 50% are. Somewhat avant-garde. And of course I'm not vetting the entire scotch before I start it so sometimes it's like haha 8 steps woo! Childlike whimsy! And sometimes they're 20 steps or 30 or they've got a section with three squares instead of two where you have to do a little Charleston to step on all three, or, memorably, FORTY one foot squares. A full BLOCK of jumping on one foot but I'm no quitter so once I've started Jigsaw Junior's fuckin hopscotch gauntlet I'm there til the end just a daily pot smoker in her thirties jumping kasa-obake style through an affluent suburb while some little proto-kennedy watches from his bedroom window rubbing his sadistic little third grade hands together and cackling. It's amazing. I love spring.