Don't Turn Around

Blasting girls in their 20s with my MILFification ray gun. The effect is slow and gradual, but irreversible. In one to ten years they'll all be in their 30s.

me: *Closes three tabs of Wikipedia and nine of Mirriam-Webster* i can finally finish writing that tumblr post

We really went from "free the nipple" to "um the public didn't consent to you wearing a choker"

the thing about "people have talked about it you're just 21" is that it's not really "young people are stupid" it's more "if you come into an academic discussion you should know what people have said on the matter lest you talk out your ass"

Isaac Newton gets hit in the head by a Granny Smith apple and discovers sour gravity