i’ll never love a boy the way i love the ocean

Bitches be like “Fellowship x reader” and then leave out Gandalf. Cowards.

Failed my exam because I was staring at the back of my classmate's head (the one I am parasocially obsessed with despite knowing them in real life). My hands were shaking the whole time and I drew a sock puppet version of them and me smiling at each other and.being friends., if I make a sock puppet of them would thst be weird? Does anybody like me anymore

"i asked chatgpt" well i went to Rockin' Robin and she said that you have all the answers and you just need to stop being so scared of who you are

Ohhh my god everyone in this zoom call knows that I have intense sexual fantasies about kermit the frog. They can hear hear his muppet hole pulsing under my floorboards they all know I can see it in their eyes

I lie awake at night thinking about His Hole. Was any of it real? I can't hold my wife unless I imagine she is Kermit. I miss his squelch as I sopped him wet with my seed. "For the joke!" I cried. I would fill him with my nectar. And laugh, and laugh. Like some kind of joke(r). I miss you, Kermit. Don't tell my wife. Don't tell my wife.

(helping you hide the body) ya know when you asked me if I wanted to join your polycule this isn't really what I had in mind

the secret history (1992)

fun date idea: we read the secret history together and kiss every time one of them lit a cigarette.