oceansize

enough about the scourge of morning people. let’s talk about how fast eaters are an oppressive class

we sat down with our food ten minutes ago. what do you mean you’re already done and ready to get up and go do the next thing?? so now my options are a) pretend I’m done too when really I haven’t even touched my fries yet or b) guiltily try to scarf the rest of this down, not enjoying it at all, while you sit there and stare at me? god forbid I wanted to savor it, or to pause and actually contribute something to the conversation without being rude or choking. if I’m not devoting every bit of mouth bandwidth to inhaling this meal in thirty seconds like a leafblower in reverse you’ll have moved on to tomorrow’s breakfast before I’m done. and yet I’m the problem here??

i have have never been serious in my life even when im being serious im not serious

so awesome how there's an animal called a gooey duck & it's spelled geoduck for some reason & it's a humongous clam for some reason

it's called the whether because it depends

Literally always take headphones with you. If you decide that you probably won't need them today, that's the devil talking. You will. You will

ugh (with want)