pairing: kaedehara kazuha x FEM!reader
warnings: no beta we die like tomo
summary: change comes in many forms. as a wandering samurai who’s reliving the past of tomo and you, his little sister, kazuha thinks he knows a thing or two about it.
a/n: PLEASE IGNORE ALL PLOTHOles i don’t know where i was going with this plz
“But you, you’re supposed to change. You’re never the same even moment to moment － you’re allowed and expected to invent who you are. What an incredible power － the ability to ‘grow up’.”
－ Rose Quartz, Steven Universe
The wind is silent tonight.
Not in the way the crewmembers would think; during voyages, the wind tells its many stories. Its howls and hollow whispers tell of the thrill and beauty of the world, beckoning Kazuha to abandon the ship and flee to wherever it takes him.
In some days, he finds comfort in its loud howls, how it tells him of treasures cradled in sand beaches and legacies of adventurers lost to time. He finds comfort in the soft wisps mourning yet another being’s life cut short, or soft lullabies that soothes birds to sleep.
Tonight, however, it is quiet. It remains unresponsive to his calling, and he does not feel in control. He feels… lost.
Kazuha supposes it is because the Alcor is approaching the suffocating air of Inazuma. Though its borders are no longer closed, fresh life has yet to wash onto its shores.
He never sleeps during the night. Sometimes, he tucks himself into his little bed, but the creak of the ceiling and the soft waves of the sea kept him awake, no matter how hard he tried to be accustomed to it over the years. He usually climbs up the crow’s nest and welcomes the gentle breeze that carcasses his face. On even rarer occasions, Beidou will come out from her office and chide him to get down from there.
None of that happened tonight. Tonight, it is not the lull of the sea or the wind that keeps him away.
Tonight, it’s his thoughts. And they haunt him.
He is not one to mull over past experiences. In fact, he thinks he handles it fairly well. But he was young, he was immature－ he made bad decisions that scarred him.
For example, meeting you.
He didn’t really know what he had done in his past life for fate to weave in such a way, all those years ago. That day, there was also little to no wind, no cool breeze or stormy weather. It was just silent, and it scared him.
While he walked around the outskirts of the mansion, he saw you.
Little ten-year-old Kazuha was aware that his family had a reputation to keep, hence the friendliness they gestured towards their neighbors. He knew each and every one of their faces, the way their eyebrows would furrow and their eyes would crinkle. But he has never seen any children the same age as him.
Maybe it was your bright smile, maybe it was your eccentric behavior of carving rocks, maybe it was your sweet voice that sang to your flowers－ but he had looked out from his engawa, and an urge to meet you, to know you set his heart aflame.
But the weight of his family name anchored his feet, and he could only watch you from afar, as you excitedly told your friend that your roses have finally started to bloom.
Actually, he had talked to you, but only because you had no such burden. He’s sure you had no idea of his longing, but perhaps you sensed his loneliness, because you marched up to him and asked for his name.
“What’s your name?” you ask.
Kazuha was hesitant－ this was a family name, he had to bare it, but would it scare you away?－ “Kaedehara Kazuha.”
“Ooh, Kaedehara! Sounds like a long and fancy name.” came a pretty laugh. “Wanna know my name?”
Kazuha nodded, with full expectancy for a name to paint your face. But you simply chuckled and shook your head. “It’s a secret!”
The friend beside you also huffs out a laugh. “Honestly…” he shook his head, the ear stuck in between his teeth flowing with every shake. “Call me Tomo, then. Come on, let’s ditch her and play temari instead.”
At least, that’s what he think he said. He could hardly remember that compared to how our hand felt so warm as he shook it, and your smile was so, so bright. He remembers feeling a fuzzy feeling swelling in his chest, a desire to be polite to you, to be sincere with you.
From that day on, he joined your little friend group. The wind had stayed silent on his little celebration that day.
Kazuha still thinks, back then, Tomo was fully aware of the weight his name carried. Did you? Or were you simply stubbornly ignorant? That was a quality that refused to change.
Eyelids flit open. Down below, Beidou’s figure is barely seen.
“Have you been sleeping up there? Get down!” chides Beidou, worry clear on her face. He squints, and sees her sigh. “At least you got some shut-eye…”
Guilt pools in his gut. “Apologies!” he yells over the wind. “I couldn’t sleep very well in my shed.”
Wind? He turns his head towards the sea, and－ oh.
Kazuha has seen sunrises before; he has seen them glow brilliantly up in the sky, and hang low in the late hours of dusk.
Perhaps, through a hopeful lens, the sun glows brighter than ever before. It coats the world a yellowish orange, with blue skies painted with purple along its edges. Distant crows flap their wings, soaring into the mountains as little specks of black.
Sunrises signal a new day for the world, as everyone arises from their slumber and readies themselves. Just below, Kazuha can hear the yells of crewmates calling each other to help one another.
It symbolizes much more beginnings other than a day. Kazuha would know. He spent a million sunrises with you.
It was always you that dragged him out. His mansion was big, with a line of bservants answering to his every beckon－ but maybe the security then wasn’t tight enough, because you always managed to sneak your way into his bedroom windows.
After a few months of conversation, it was clear you were from a clan, but your birth was not a joyful occasion.
For all your passionate personality barely brimming within its constraints of mannerisms, you and Tomo never really talked about your history. Why you both had had much free time, why you both talked with no filter, why the servants that watched over you looked like they wanted to kill you rather than protect you. It was always ‘Why are you obsessed with maple leaves?’ or ‘Why do you like haiku?’, but never about you.
It occurred to him halfway, very embarrassingly, that Tomo was not your friend, but rather your brother.
(He doesn’t remember when Tomo became Tomo. He knew his name, now hardly ever grazing his tongue, but he had always been Tomo. And you－ you have always been someone special.)
You reveal your thoughts to him while you three were adventuring on Yashiori Island.
“My mother was forced into pregnancy twice before that bastard went to war,” you bite out, and Kazuha had never heard you swear before, “But they all blamed her. I don’t get it. She… she never wanted us. She didn’t have a choice.”
“We’re here now.” Tomo sighs, a bittersweet grin on his face. “We’ll find our partners some day, and we’ll restore the clan’s name. But when they come begging for our help, we’ll turn them down.”
You swat Tomo’s arm with a frown. “When our feats rebuild our clans, it will sever ties from ours’ cruel history completely－ which also means severing any cruel personalities we may inherit. We will help them.”
When Tomo huffs, you nudge him. “Besides, we’re a powerful sibling clan! Nothing can beat us!”
You both were near obsessed with severing ties with your previous clan. The thought itself brings a sour taste to his tongue. How badly have they mistreated you two for such passion about leaving them to exist?
“And you’ll help us too, right?” you turn your head, grin bright and hopeful. “You could be… someone important! Like our advisor!”
“Are you crazy?” Tomo hisses under his breath, barely above a whisper, clearly only meant for your ears. But the wind tells him everything. “He’s from the illustrious Kaedehara Clan, inviting him is just sullying his name!”
While Kazuha is grateful for Tomo’s awareness of the burdens of a clan, it still sours his mood to be shut down without his voice of opinion.
“You’re not wrong.” Kazuha speaks, “But the Kaedehara clan has long since started falling apart ever since my great-grandfather’s generation. My father is doing everything he can to make amends, but I doubt I could shoulder its troubles passed onto me.”
A hand gently pats his shoulder. Kazuha glances at you, and he sees deep concern pooling in your eyes. “Are you okay?”
Hm. What a question. Not many have asked him this. How should he respond? ‘Fine, thank you for asking’. But even he cannot rely on that forever.
For a time, he masked his insecurities. He hid his flaws, denied his fears, all to put on a brave face for you and Tomo. He believed, then, you two would benefit from the son of Kaedehara Kageharu, and there would be no reason for you two to shun him away.
But you two seem quite different. You two embrace your flaws, learn from your mistakes, and look forward to a future you two alone will create. Could he be like that, too?
“No,” replies Kazuha, the walls of Kaedehara collapsing before your very eyes. “I don’t think so. My father tells me to abandon our name and carry on with my heart guiding me, for there is no use in a family if it is miserable. But I’m a coward. How should I, a lone son, be the one to destroy the remnants of a clan?”
“It was your ancestor, a lone person, that started a lineage of refined blacksmiths. What makes you any different?” Tomo interjects, despite your low hiss of ‘Tomo!’.
“They created something new, a lineage that would last on for generations－ and I will be the one to destroy it all. Its history will be erased, and I will be the last standing proof of its existence.” Kazuha rebuffs, clenching his fists on his lap. “I think there’s plenty of a difference. Who will be there to record my history?”
Silence befalls the three, and anxiety seizes his heart. He shouldn’t have told you this, is he going to truly scare you away－ ?
A hand, silky smooth and soft, unfurls his fist with gentle pries. “We will, of course.” you say, “If you don’t wanna join us, it’s completely fine. We’ll still be there to write legends and tales so large the people outside Inazuma will hear about it. Right Tomo?”
Tomo nods. “Kaedehara Kazuha, the son of Kageharu that faced his collapsing clan with bravery! You’re a legend in the making.”
Kazuha can only sit in silence as tears flow into his eyes, much much both your panic. Archons, he had been so afraid of rejection, of mockery of his concerns, it was such a relief. How could he had ever doubted you? Your kindness, your identical smiles, you.
“Oh, yeah, I brought this rock.” you speak up, with a dagger in hand. “Let’s craft your first ever bonsai. To celebrate the start of a legend!”
Tomo laughs, and you smile, brighter than ever. Kazuha feels his heart free from its shackles, the birth of a genuine friendship blossoming under sunrise.
He has always felt free and flowing ever since then. He moves with grace, but he doesn’t think he would have ever done so without you.
“Hey, kid,” a man lifting some crater brings him back to the present. Maybe he’s reminiscing too much lately. “Can you help me carry these?”
“Sure.” answers Kazuha. It’s probably because he’s approaching Inazuma－ the land of bitter tears. What ifs race across his mind.
The sun is hanging high in the sky, and he is reminded of your smile.
“… and A-Xu told me, ‘So what if Furong has a crush on the captain? Beidou’s clearly got the hots for the Tianquan.’ Is that true?”
“Probably. Why else do you think we can get away with such leniency?－ Ah, kid! What’re you carrying?”
Kazuha scans the labeled box. “Some silk flowers imported from Liyue. Addressed to… Watatsumi.”
The first woman clicks her tongue. “Probably for it’s barren land. Hm, but I heard it was different on the bill?”
“Sangonomiya and General Gorou are committing tax fraud after all.” the second whispers, and Kazuha very wisely chooses to ignore that.
The atmosphere is awkward before the first breaks into a groan.
“Boy, the sun is scalding today, isn’t it?”
“Clear skies can soothe a person’s heart. It’s better than thunderstorms, isn’t it?” Kazuha laughs, grateful for the change of topic.
“You’re right, you’re right…”
“Probably because the traveler’s on their way to challenge every known god in the universe, including the Shogun.”
He doesn’t really have any comments on the cold, but he especially doesn’t mind the heat. It reminds him of sandy beaches and you running along its shores, the waves lapping softly under your feet.
Tomo has started to venture into more dangerous islands during that time. At first, you and Kazuha were worried sick when he announced he would set sail for Seirai Island, but he always comes back in one piece. Probably because of his swordsmanship.
“You can’t beat a member of our clan!” Tomo had barked out with a laugh, though Kazuha was sure he’s not talking about the one he’s occupying right now.
You and Kazuha aren’t really one for adventures; at least, not anymore. While the three of you used to hop from place to place, it seems responsibilities have chained both of you down.
(Tomo was braver. He always was, out of the three of you. Willing to explore, to try, to embrace the new. He was far more fit for a wanderer than any of you.)
As you both near the age of becoming adults, you have been told to serve your clan as a servant, and.
“Something seems to be on your mind.” comments Kazuha once. Tomo has yet to return from his adventures.
You pause in your endeavor of carving yet another rock. You have probably mastered crafting rock bonsais by now. “… I’m allowed to serve my clan again.”
“You don’t look too happy about it.”
Your gaze is annoyed, as if asking him why he had to be so observant.
“I’m… going to serve them as a servant.” you mutter, soft and embarrassed.
The only child willing to serve the clan was treated as nothing more than a mere servant? Absurd. Perhaps, if it were any other person, he would remain calm－ but how could he ever, when you seemed so dejected, so resigned to your fate?
“Come to the Kaedehara clan.” he blurts out, much to both of your surprise. “I’m sure my father can treat you much better there.”
You blink, and laugh. “I can’t sully your name.”
“You won’t be.” Kazuha insists. “My father has known you for years.”
“Yes, but the public won’t take it as kindly as he does.” You turn back to your rock. “Your father is a kind man, but I can’t trouble you both any further.”
“Then leave the clan.” he persists. “How are you any better off than being mistreated and neglected all those years?”
“I can’t.” A particularly aggressive carve on the rock startles Kazuha a little. “It’s either me, or Tomo. I can’t－ I won’t－ chain him to this responsibility.”
“Tomo is your brother.” Kazuha feels－ angry? Disappointed? Sad?－ a feeling that chokes his throat. “The first and only son of your clan. It’s his responsibility, not yours.”
You turn to him. “So what if it is? Tomo is happy, living his risky life as an adventurer. I’m clearly otherwise. Why not find something to do?”
“But you won’t be any happier.” Kazuha reminds. “You chase the excitement and fulfillment that he feels, yes? Why willingly walk away from the only chance you can do so, and offer yourself in cuffs and chains?”
“It’s either me, or him.” you repeat, as if you have told yourself this many times to cement your decision. “Just… just leave it, Kazuha. Please.”
But Kazuha won’t, he can’t. Where was your passion? Your bright spirit to hang your head high? “What about the sibling clan?”
You chuckle mirthlessly. “It was just a foolish fantasy. Tomo and I will go our separate ways. As long as he’s happy and thriving… I have no complaints.”
A foolish fantasy. A fantasy that is rooted from your ambitions and hope. He refuses to believe it would go out so easily.
You look up at his slowly standing figure with confusion.
Kazuha brandishes his blade. “Each servant must be accompanied with a set of skills in order to protect the master and abide by their wishes. Show me the will of a servant to protect her brother.”
You only ogle at his intimidating stance, but the look is gone in the blink of an eye. You grab a branch nearby, because you know Kazuha would never hurt you, and you’re right－ you don’t need a blade to win this argument.
Kazuha’s heart skips a beat at your fast adaptation.
You bend into a defensive stance. “Don’t underestimate the swordsmanship of an adventurer’s disciple.”
Disciple? That word brought a smile to his face. For you are Tomo’s sister, his pride and joy when your mother shunned you away.
Perhaps that rebellious nature that he loved still there after all.
“Ah, shit, you kidding me?!”
The soft pitter patter of rain gently lands on Kazuha’s nose.
“It was my good shirt, too!” Furong whines, and beside her, Beidou chuckles.
“It’s just a little rain. C’mon, I’ll help you dry your clothes later.”
“O-oh, okay. I mean, yes captain!”
How ironic, a weather that would bring most in bad moods usually involves the most romantic cliches. Sharing an umbrella, dancing under the rain, running along together with nothing but jackets and bags as covers, while being drenched anyway－ the light novels from Yae Publishing House feature a large variety of such topics.
Unfortunately, neither you or Kazuha could share such a sentiment of romance.
He remembered noting that rain was bound to fall that day－ so he stayed inside. He was lucky he was near his nearly-abandoned mansion at the time.
He has long been freed from the remnants of the Kaedehara clan, and has set off as a wanderer, where he truly belongs; with the sky as his ceiling and the world as his home, there is nothing else that he is unsatisfied with.
Perhaps the only downside to becoming a wandering samurai is not meeting up with you and Tomo every day. He has yet to venture outside Inazuma, so he can still return to your neighboring house. Sometimes, Tomo will not be there, to yet another adventure, and sometimes Tomo accompanies him. All he knows is that you will always be there, in your mansion, scrubbing the floors and answering your relatives’ calls.
He had wondered what you were doing without him today. Perhaps brushing the corridors? Washing clothes? Doing the laundry? Or going out on a stroll with another boy?
The last idea perplexed and uneased him. What if he tried to take advantage of you? Rob you of your things? Or worse, try to flirt with you?
The thoughts have plagued him lately; holding hands with another, being wed to another, or worse－ bearing children for another. Though it is your choice on how to lead your life, Kazuha can’t help but feel a tinge of jealousy when that picture comes to mind.
And yes, he must admit… he has some form of attraction towards you, rather romantically than platonically. Your beauty was never something he ignored, but it seemed to constantly drive him nearly insane these days. He doesn’t even remember when he started to feel this way.
But even his feelings towards you cannot blind him to the state of Inazuma. At this rate, Kazuha’s sure the Kaedehara clan will fall apart, but that pales in comparison to the new decree their god has issued.
The Vision Hunt Decree－ a decree that forbids any usage of visions, and a decree that enforces the Shogun’s army to confiscate any vision that existed.
Kazuha envied vision wielders, once; when he thought his martial prowess would improve drastically with strength from the gods. Now, they are nothing more than troublesome pests for the Tenryou Commision to squash down.
But he isn’t a person to think of vision wielders as such. To be graced with the power of the gods, to have ambitions so strong that the gods would observe them, and grant them visions to aid in their ambition－ is that not a miracle that should belong to wielders themselves?
The winds have become much stiffer ever since the Sakoku Decree was upheld as well. Many with visions, scared half to death, tried to flee, but the thunderstorm barriers that came along with the decree shocked all of them to death. What a terrifying notion.
Soon, it became clear that there was no way for the wielders to run－ so they hid. Set up fake identities, fake their deaths, anything to go under the Tenryou Commission’ radar.
Out of the three of you, both him and Tomo had a vision, yet he was the boldest out of all the three. Despite both your desperate pleas and begs, Tomo refused to go into hiding. He stood firm against the soldiers, and you nearly cried－ no, you did cry－ at his stubbornness.
“Why won’t you just listen to me?!” you cried in full hysteria, “Tomo, this is the rule of a god, not a playground bully! Please, please, give up your endeavor and just follow Naganohara into hiding!”
Tomo had stayed silent, the ear still stuck between his teeth. “There will always be those who dare to brave the lighting’s glow. If I die, there will be another who steps up in my place.”
You had slapped him, and your continued string of pleas barely made it to Kazuha’s ears. For Tomo’s words rang deep, engraving into his mind.
The sky was dark that day, too.
A constant rapping on the door alerted him, but he insisted for his ill father to rest in his bed, and told the servants to be at ease－ for ever since you took up that position as servant, he has been much lenient towards his own.
When he opened the door, you seemed to be in utter disarray, and it scared him. Your hair was disheveled, your clothes covered in mud and drenched in rain, and your eyes were filled to the brim with panic.
The next few words you spoke would ignite a raw sense of panic that he could barely contain.
“Tomo’s gone to challenge the Shogun.” you croak out, and it all went downhill from there.
Your shaking hands find their way into your pocket, pulling out a letter. Therein lay the contents of Tomo apologizing to you, but he must go and make a stand. The rest were left unread as the two of you raced towards Tenshukaku.
Kazuha was ready to challenge the Shogun himself, to parry the Muso No Hitotachi, to push him away from the divine punishment－ anything to save him.
But by the time you two reached the flight of stairs, it was far too late.
You both see Tomo’s staggering figure as he falls from his tired stupor.
“Witness your divine punishment.”
Kazuha thinks he hears you screaming, but Tomo’s back is turned, and his vision slips from his hands. It flings itself from the impact of the oncoming slash, and it is begging to not be taken by the hands of the Tenryou Commission.
But of course. An aspiration so big and grand, just to be buried under the cold statue of a god? That is something Kazuha will never forgive.
Before he can think, Kazuha snatches the dying vision, and barrels towards you. He takes your hand in his, despite your strong protest, and runs.
The sky turns darker for a brief moment, with edges of purple lining along your shadows. Though your backs are turned, a violent shudder goes up your spine. This was the ultimate symbol of supreme power over mortals.
“That’s Kaedehara Kazuha, the last son of the Kaedehara clan!”
“What? N-nevermind, seize him under the decree! Kaedehara Kazuha is now a wanted fugitive! Bring him back alive!”
He doesn’t remember how long he runs after the divine punishment occured; through the storm and the heavy clap of its lighting, he pushes on. At some point, he lets go of your hand, and though you fall behind, you have yet to completely fall out from his pace.
“Freeze! Vision Hunt Decree!”
You both fight against various soldiers. Their looks are eager to rope you back to Tenshukaku.
Not even the rain can wash away their blood as you two venture on.
Thousands of thoughts race across his mind. Where should he go? Where should he take you? Where in Teyvat will you two escape a god’s wrath?
You two barely reach the shore of Narukami when a boatman stops you. Kazuhas instincts return tenfold, and he unsheathes his blade－ but the boatman takes one look at him.
“Kaedehara, that’s you, right? Get on board, I’ll get you out!”
Confusion flints across your face, and he’s sure he looks the same way as well. “But… why are you helping me? I’m a wanted fugitive.”
“Obviously the Yashiro－” grumbles the boatman, but he cuts himself off. “An anonymous financial sponsor wants you to get out safely. You can bring your girl along, too.”
He’s sure if under less dire circumstances, you would have had plenty of things to say to that.
“But there’s only so much they can do. After this, you’ll be on your own.”
Kazuha nods, relief of a supporting figure nearly making him buckle his knees. “Thank you. I am in your debt.”
“As am I.” you say, but before you two can clamber onto the boat, there is a strange direction of wind in the midst of rain－
The wind is his companion, his ears and eyes when he is lost and wandering. It had accompanied him and journeyed with him through mountains and rivers, and it warns him－
He ignores it, and that was his fatal mistake.
You suddenly scream and collapse onto the ground. Kazuha quickly glances at you, horror etched on his face at the sudden arrow now stuck on your waist.
From a distance, tropes begin to emerge from the rain’s shadow, armed with spears.
“Shit!” the boatman curses, “There were more?!”
“Kaedehara Kazuha!” comes a familiar voice, and Kazuha is met with the determined eyes of Kujou Sara. “This is your final warning. Surrender now, and no one else gets hurt.”
You rise from the ground, and turn to the boatman.
“It’s him they want, yeah? I’ll distract them. Row away as quickly as you can－ I can hold off these guys, but it’s only a matter of time. Go!”
For a moment, the world slows to a stop. The words that left your mouth made no sense to him－ what do you mean? Was he to leave you alone?
No. Nononononono. He lost Tomo, he can’t lose you too.
“I’ll be fine,” you make out, despite your trembling figure and the pool of red that slowly taints your clothes. “A little arrow isn’t going to stop me. Go, and don’t you dare come back!”
His feeble hand reaches for your turning figure, but the boatman pleads him to stay－ he didn’t listen, but he was forced into the boat anyway.
“Don’t you dare die!” he screams, hoarse and desperate with some form of assurance that you’ll be okay.
You laugh, even when you fling thousands of soldiers away from his direction. “Don’t underestimate the anger of a vengeful sister!”
The world is numb to his cries and yells, as the boatman forces him to stay put. He can only watch your little figure dancing a battle with one of the deadliest forces of the Tenryou Commission, watch your little staggers and hear your groans, as he is rowed away from the very person he was supposed to protect.
With such a fatal wound, plus a battle that you cannot hold onto forever－ it is a death that is bound to come.
In one, short day, he had lost two of the most important people in his life.
He can only curl in the little boat and let sobs tear out from his throat.
A loud clap of thunder jolts him from his memory. He breathes, and exhales. That happened years ago. He is no longer the little boy that sacrificed two of his precious friends to escape his punishment. He is a man with a simmering hope to fight with the resistance.
Maybe rain is a special weather. It is when most conflicts arise, when the things most precious to you are anchored on soil, bare and for him to see.
The affection that nestles deep beneath his heart for Tomo will never grow stale. His fondness for you has yet to waver with each passing day.
Yet, there is a difference. He has wallowed in his mourning and has moved past it, but a soft whisper of the wind tells him you are still alive. Maybe fully recovered, maybe barely breathing, but your pulse is read in soft wisps, and it travels to his presence. A soft reminder that you are waiting for him in Inazuma.
The hope that you could still be alive, you could still smile yet again, strives him to set sail for Inazuma once more－ facing its thunder head-on.
Inazuma is sadly still in its sorry state－ but Kazuha is stronger now. He’s ready to protect, to defend, to save.
Him and Beidou snuck into the battle of Nazuchi Beach, where the resistance was facing the Shogun’s army on the front lines.
Needless to say, with their additional help, plus Her Excellency’s return, the resistance has secured a temporary victory. Watatsumi soldiers would have rejoiced at gaining the upper hand－
－ Had a Tenryou soldier not snuck up on them and nearly sniped Beidou.
Kazuha had not made the same mistake twice, of course; over the course of his travels, he had become sharper, faster, a better samurai to save. The winds warn him of high tides and dark clouds, so he dashes for shelter. It tells him who is coming and when, so he prepares himself.
It tells him when his friend is going to get killed, so he sprints.
Kazuha prides himself in his martial prowess, but that confidence has washed away the moment it whispers; ‘It’s okay. Someone else’s got this.’
For a brief, terrifying moment, he doubts the wind－ but that second is over, and a sharp clap of pyro collides with the arrow, and the overload roars as a puff of explosion knocks the soldier down.
“Did that guy try to assassinate Captain Beidou?!“
Forces immediately swarm the soldier, their disgust evident on their face as they haul him for interrogation.
Beidou lets out a bark of laughter, barely concealing disappointment in herself for her lack of defence. “Looks like the Conqueror of Haishan gets to live another day.” she mutters to herself.
Kazuha places a hand on her shoulder. “Please, do not be harsh on yourself. Mistakes happen.”
“Mistakes that nearly cost my life.” Beidou sighs. She turns to the retreating figure with a clap on the back. “And I have you to thank. Don’t think you can slip away, young lady.”
The figure tenses, but turns back around to meet Beidou’s shining smile. “It was nothing.”
“Nothing? A load of bull.” Beidou swings an arm around her. “What’s your name, kid?”
“Hm.” The woman hums. “You can just call me Captain of Swordfish I.”
She refused to tell Beidou her name, no matter how much she pestered her－ but even if she didn’t, Kazuha wouldn’t need to hear it from her lips.
Arrow stuck in waists, stormy nights, Tomo－
It was you. He could remember your face anywhere, anytime. Though you have grown, some of your distinctive features remain.
Relief crashes into his chest, years of sincere hope and internal pleas coming into fruition. For you stand, in the Resistance, a pyro vision in hand－ true to your fiery, passionate nature.
He nearly buckles his knees, but he forces himself to stand. For a moment, you two exchange glances, and another nervous, rather shy feeling creeps up his throat. The feeling of enamourment slams into him tenfold, for you were more beautiful than he could ever imagine.
To his delightful surprise, you darted from his gaze, a small blush painting your cheeks. Sort of… adorable.
“I’ll be going now.” you bow to Beidou. You turn to your troops. “All forces return to Watatsumi Island to recuperate!”
And, just as quickly you left him, you were gone once more.
You seemed to love disappearing the moment he was in the room, apparently. Even when giving a report to Her Excellency, you interrupt yourself mid-sentence and kindly ask for permission to leave the tent that shields you from the rain.
Kazuha doesn’t think the weather was this serious before. But it has been a while since he came back to Inazuma, so he was quite unfamiliar with the changes that happened. Mondstadt’s free and low landscapes makes it a peaceful visit, with scattered ruins and a couple of hilichurls walking around. All in all, it was safe. Secure. Liyue has high mountains and a rich history behind each scenery, plus their cuisine is divine and the collabs Xinyan and Yunjin performed were nothing short of amazing. So, from some people’s perspective, Inazuma, a land of thunder and constant danger, would not be the safest place to live in.
And Kazuha understands why. From the outside, everything looks almost the same; the Tartagami, the dangers of Kairagi and Nobushi, the solemn tension that lays akin to a thick blanket draping on surviving civilizations.
From the inside, however, many things have changed. Restrictions are pressing on, but people are no longer sheltering in their homes. They are sick and tired of the Shogun’s incapability to understand mortal stubbornness.
Thus, the resistance. A safe haven for those with visions and those who wish to fight alongside them. No matter how powerful vision wielders are, they are small in size. In this scenario, quantity beats quality, but they are no longer alone.
And, well, you. He didn’t expect to see you. He thought you would still be mourning the loss of your brother. Perhaps it was your grief that spurred you on.
Whatever the case, the only two children remotely connected to your clan have fallen, and it has collapsed all-together. You didn’t seem to mind, though.
Some days, you are seen talking with the traveler, who meets you and befriends you at a rapid pace. Some days, you are discussing the anonymous supplies sent to the resistance with General Gorou. Some days, you train with the soldiers with a spark he thought was long gone.
Your rebellious nature against injustice was never gone. It was still there, burning bright and true, hidden behind the thin veil of obedience. It’s just being compressed, just waiting for the right spark.
He likes it. He likes your nature, the comforting wind that follows everything to huff in agitation, or wheezing after a particularly bad joke, your tears, your smiles.
Some days, you simply bask in the beauty of Watatsumi near a waterfall, as if you couldn’t believe what was happening. Kazuha watches you from time to time, sharing such a sentiment.
Tonight, the moon hangs high.
“How long are you going to keep watching me?”
Your voice is cold, and it sends shivers up his spine. He doesn’t remember you anymore. Some remnants of you are here; your roots, your habits, your pet peeves, they’re all evident in more ways than one.
At the same time, however, you are not her. You’re not the same girl that proclaims to revive your clan. You’re not the same girl that carved rocks as bonsai, the little ten-year-old that followed Tomo everywhere, the girl that promised a lifetime of fortune, to stand side-by-side with Tomo as adventurers.
You snap at those who disobey your commands as general. You glare at those who are brought in as spies from the Tenryou Commission. You aim your spear at the enemy, and drive it deep into their hearts.
“For a lifetime, if you’d let me.” smiles Kazuha, emerging from his tent.
You seem to have not expected him, because you jolt. “K- Kaedehara!” you stutter, and Kazuha frowns at his last name. “Forgive me, I didn’t expect you to be here.”
The little girl still resides somewhere, her kindness and strong sense of justice never wavering. But the body that she lies in is a cruel warrior, having seen many moons of battle and climbing up the ranks.
“You can call me Kazuha, you know,” he says, “I’m not going anywhere.”
You make a face of disbelief. “You’re going to hop on the Alcor the moment the civil war is finished, aren’t you?”
“Not yet.” Kazuha chuckles. “I expect myself to linger for just a while longer.”
“You’re a wanted fugitive.” you state, as if Kazuha hasn’t heard that a million times before. “You should probably go if you have the chance.”
“I’m surprised you didn’t ask sooner.”
You scoff. “You wouldn’t listen to me.”
It’s the first conversation you both have had in years, and of course it was about what happened. You were never one to beat around the bush.
“I can take you with me.” Kazuha suggests. “The crewmates are quite annoying at times, but you’ll get used to it.”
You shake your head, as expected. “It’s my duty to see this through.”
You shrug. “These soldiers have been with me for years now. They are no match against the Shogun, let alone Kujou Sara. But it’s my job to take care of them, and watch them grow stronger.”
Kazuha darts to your stomach, and you catch his gaze. You smile and pat your waist. “It’s all healed now. Still get cramps, but it’s nothing to worry about.”
It seems like the wound is holding you back, but he doesn’t comment on it.
“If you’re sure.” Kazuha hums. “How were you able to deal with them, anyway?”
Guilt settles on your features. “Teppei from the Logistics Division came to my rescue. Well, he kind of did. He alerted a nearby trope and they managed to fend them off and carry me away to safety.”
Good. That’s… that’s good. At least you weren’t alone. “I was supposed to protect you.” he mutters.
You frown. “Hey, none of that. I chose to stay behind. Besides, that boat was too small for three. If anything…” you sigh, “I was supposed to help you.
“I was too weak to do shit, and it pissed me off.” you snap. “I expressed my gratitude by joining the resistance. Maybe it was a coping mechanism, to save others to keep the guilt of losing another at bay. I dunno.
“I- I have no idea how you managed to survive.” you choke out, “Seeing you alive and well, it’s more than I could ever ask for. But I wasn’t strong enough. I left you, Kazuha. I don’t think I can ever face that guilt.”
Guilt－ what a funny thing. The world would be in much peril if such an emotion didn’t exist, but Kazuha wants nothing more than it to not. It’s holding both of you back. You both think you abandoned one another, and now you don’t know what to do with each other.
Watatsumi is an island far away from the thunder and wrath of the Shogun. It is peaceful, its melodic laps of waves tingle beneath his skin. It is home to those who escaped, a shelter for refugees and so-called criminals. It is a shame that it has such barren land.
Without the thunder, without the rain, maybe Watatsumi can be where his emotions lay to rest.
You have seemed to harbor your guilt for far too long, and a few words will not change that. It has to be you that brings yourself out of such a self-deprecating situation, like how Kazuha came to terms with his misfortunes.
“… How have you been faring?” he asks, tentatively and softly.
You sigh. “Not well, to be honest. It’s stupid, really. I still haven’t really processed the drastic changes that happened. I’m just living and seeing where I go.”
A bandaged hand shyly places over yours. “So was I.”
You flare up with red cheeks and a stuttering tongue. Kazuha watches in amusement, feeling himself grow bolder with every moment.
Right, one step at a time.
Kazuha doesn’t remember you, but he’s learning the you that he left all those years ago.
For example, your combat skills have increased significantly. While you were both patrolling (it was more like you were patrolling and he decided to tag along), some Nobushis were spotted crowding an abandoned cart, along with some Treasure Hoarders and their grubby hands.
He was ready to take care of this situation as swiftly as possible, but you have already barreled towards them like a bowling ball racing towards bowling pins. He learns that you are reckless in fights as you paint the battlefield in flames, but your strength is unmatched.
Just like Tomo, he notes solemnly. Perhaps he really had taught you everything he knew.
He also learns you have taken a keen interest in the arts, despite your constant hyperfocus on your training. He learned while he was gone, and the very brief time before you decided to join the resistance, you took up painting.
You apparently got inspired by the Legend of Sword, when you saw just how beautifully illustrated the pages were. You sometimes paint on the outskirts of Borou Village, sometimes on used paper, sometimes even on rocks. You have yet to master it, but Kazuha’s sure with your passionate nature, you will improve in no time.
You have also gained a pyro vision during his absence, obviously. You tell him, while you were still a low-ranked soldier, your peers were mentally exhausted and they were starting to grow doubtful of this never-ending war.
You didn’t do some ovation-deserving speech to encourage them, you just clenched your fists and thought about how you didn’t want to see them like this－ and if you had the power to personally stop the Raiden Shogun to end this war, you would do everything to achieve it. Your peers then turn around in shock, and that’s when you learn about the little pyro vision attached to your hip.
Now, Kazuha grew a little weary at this. An ambition to defy the will of an archon was still rewarded by the gods? You frequently assure him it’s fine, and his doubts dwindle into mere thoughts.
He learns, most importantly, about your feelings. You were lost without your brother’s guidance, and you have yet to forgive his selfishness and foolishness to sacrifice himself only to witness a divine punishment.
You swore that you would be the guiding light to victory, to never let your comrades grow doubtful of their ambitions. Maybe that was the first roots that led to your aspiration coming into fruition.
“He was more than my brother.” you say, “He was my best friend.”
In turn, Kazuha shares his stories with you. He tells you of the winds of Mondstadt, and the mountains of Liyue. He tells you every treasure he found, every ruin he explored, every landscape he scaled.
You seemed quite entertained, by the way your eyes sparkled at his every word.
Kazuha knows he has plenty of more adventures to go on. He cannot stay, for it dulls his connection with nature and his blade.
He wants to ask you to come with him. Surely, your additional company would welcome the Crux; Beidou wouldn’t mind having someone who saved her life on board.
But he doesn’t try to entertain that idea, and neither do you. You both aren’t protagonists of this world, it’s just not how it works (though, Kazuha supposes the traveler can be an exception). War is war, and this isn’t some playground fighting－ blood is to be shed, and lives are to be taken.
You both know this very well, so you both don’t dare to dream of a future that may never come.
The rest of the resistance seemed to fare well after their morale boost. Plus, some outside support from an anonymous sponsor has carried many battles to victory. Gorou seemed to let people pet his ears more, too, which was obviously the biggest bonus.
Plus, you got to be introduced to the esteemed traveler, and though you two barely have time to slip a word in with each other, you both have secured a friendship that will surely last through years to come. That is, assuming the traveler will stay after all is said and done.
Ever since you lost two of your closest friends in one go, you barely had the time to think about friends, let alone have enough emotional stability to have one. Kazuha’s glad with his appearance, you have finally started to let your guard down around everyone (even though his chest throbs a bit every time you get a tad too friendly with them).
You have even befriended a guard posted on Yashiori Island named Nathan－ though perhaps you were too careless this time, because even though his smiles are bright and his words are sweet, he carries a different aura altogether. For once, though, Kazuha is doubtful of his own instincts, because he’s afraid it’s due to his own jealousy rearing its ugly head.
It was safe to say, life on Watatsumi had finally halted to a temporary peace.
Until it wasn’t, of course.
You and Kazuha both wielded visions, so you both had no reason for accepting the gadget that the anonymous sponsor sent you. It was a small, grey thing that functioned similarly to visions, and it was the main reason for the continuous victories lately.
(Of course he couldn’t have trusted them, of course there was an alternative motive, of course－)
“Her Excellency?” you bow immediately in her presence. Kazuha follows suit.
“At ease.” Sangonomiya commands, and you both rise up. Though her voice is light, the frown weighing her face says otherwise.
It strikes fear in your hearts. Kazuha has never seen her look so upset before.
“I must make haste, so I will be straightforward. Captain, Kaedehara, you two are people I trust, so the next few words I relay to you must be kept strictly confidential. Understand?”
To earn the complete trust of Sangonomiya is, no doubt, a high honor. And though a very, very small part of Kazuha dreads to hear the news, he will do anything to ease her worries, and he knows you do as well.
“Yes, Her Excellency.” you both nod.
Sangonomiya seems momentarily relieved, but the direness of the situation weighs on her again.
When she tells you both that soldiers started to show symptoms of accelerated aging, both of you feared the worst. Perhaps it was the wrath of the gods. Maybe it was a sign from them, a warning to not rebel against a god’s judgement. You have both never truly feared the gods, but the power they carry slowly dawns on you both－ and it isn’t a happy thought.
Kazuha saw you walk around the tent that day, tending to your people’s wounds. If you had looked like you were about to faint from worrying about their safety, you now looked like you were about to die.
“How can I not be?!” you nearly shriek as he approaches you with that observation. “I’m their captain. I’m supposed to get them out alive. They- Koutoku got transferred ever since the traveler got promoted but I heard he’s sick and unwell and－ argh fuck- oh, I’m so sorry, I’ll be gentler－ and he’s dying, Kazuha, my men are dying.”
Kazuha’s eyes soften at the empathy you carry. You’re not exactly slick; he doesn’t miss the tiny flinch and the flash of regret every time you drive your sword into a person’s chest. Your facade is meant to be a merciless general, who belongs on the battlefield; but that’s not who you really are, is it? It’s who fate forced you to be.
You might have fooled him the first few times, but not every lie can withstand his gaze forever. Especially you, who was still an open book last time he left you.
At the moment, he only bears the truth; people die in war, and there may come a day where your comrades bury your body underground. But he knows you don’t want to hear it. So he spares you, just this once.
He has no words of comfort, but he supposes his presence may calm you enough.
It does, and you’re able to patch up the wound on the soldier’s knee as the medic finishes up their end of the job. You ask them thrice if they need any further assistance, and maybe your plan backfired, because the soldier assures you he’s fine, despite Kazuha noting he was not completely so.
You take his hand as you haul yourself up. With a sharp inhale, you look away from him, but even he can see the pure, raw anger in your eyes.
“I am going to kill whoever did this.”
It doesn’t take long, really; the traveler manages to recognize a delusion from their travels in Liyue, and before Sangonomiya could blink, they had stormed their way into the Fatui’s hideout and made an absolutely shitshow of destroying the base and slaying its men.
The traveler had wiped the place clean, and Kazuha reminds himself to never get on their bad side.
On the way out, however, they also discovered a certain letter, stating very clearly about their infiltration and their involvement with the Fatui.
After catching wind of being revealed, Nathan tries to flee; but not even a Fatuus can escape your wrath, and your fast orders soon have him trapped with circles of your men stationed nearby.
Kazuha remembers his heart breaking when he saw your concealed face as your men escorted him back to camp. Not many knew about your friendship with Nathan, and those who did didn’t blame you (… not in front of your faces, at least.) But you must be blaming yourself over and over.
Kazuha will not allow that.
When he finds you, though, you seem to be better than expected.
Of course, your face looked like you wanted to tear yourself apart ten times over. But something tells him that you refused to feed on that guilt, and refused to fall into the dark pit of self-loathing.
You smile. “Yes, it was. I leaked information and weaknesses that tore the resistance apart.”
You’re not crying. You’re not babbling nonsense, you’re not throwing a tantrum.
Your smile drops. “I will fix this in any way possible. I’ll report myself to Her Excellency, and she’ll issue any punishment she deems fit.”
“You’re giving justice to those who wish only to point fingers.” Kazuha reminds.
“It’s well-deserved, man.” you insist. “If not for them, then for my soul.”
Because your eccentric need to bring justice burns bright, even at the worst of times. That passion is raw, it’s powerful in its purest form. It’s not good, it’s not bad; just a simple desire that branched out to other aspirations.
Kazuha’s not sure if such justice is needed, but you seem to be sure. There is no right or wrong in this scenario.
Through many, many days of protesting and begging, Sangonomiya asks you to clean the camps when its soldiers are on the front lines. It’s extra work reserved for new recruits, but you take it with stride and a happy smile.
Kazuha finds himself falling harder than before. Down, down, down into the clutches of your stupidity and selflessness－ and into your warm hands.
As the months go by, so do its seasons.
Kazuha is change; he’s the embodiment of change that people embrace and endure as years go by. He accompanied traveler after traveler during their hardships and happiness. He’s seen them grow, to change, to have a purpose.
One doesn’t exactly remember how they change. They could change a million times in all shapes and forms, and not notice at all. But others do. Their parents, their friends, their lovers, those who care for them watch their every moment, experience their every change.
Kazuha’s sure he’s changing at every waking moment. His baby face is gone, his eyes are sharper, his hair is longer. And he’s sure the woman he’s talking to notices it all－ because when he talks with you, he’s not talking to a little girl. He’s talking to a spirited soul, who sees in a different lens than ten years ago.
Like the weather, everything is constantly changing; and sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s hard.
“We’re going to sneak into Tenshukaku with a select few.” General Gorou announces, when tension is high and demands for a conclusion to this war is at its peak. “Sangonomiya will set up further instructions for the remaining soldiers.”
Lord Kamisato has helped Kazuha a thousand times before. He has always prevented his arrest, and helped him in his escape from the Vision Hunt Decree. Kazuha is sure he owes him a mountain of debt. To this day, why Lord Kamisato decided to aid him remains a mystery.
And the Yashiro Commision is set to help him once more. It’s an unspoken agreement that it was the neutral party that extended a helping hand.
Had Kazuha not been bound to nature as his home, he would’ve been very easily swayed to serve under the Kamisato Clan.
You and Kazuha were one of the select few, and as you walk into Tenshukaku, a sense of dread starts to dawn on you.
“We’re challenging a god.” you repeat as you mount the flight of stairs.
It’s not yourself you’re worried about, and he knows this. You know you are capable of surviving an escape from the Tenryou Commission, and so is he. But the soldiers that you lead－ as much as you would love to praise your men, they aren’t as stealthy, as brute as you.
“Yes, we are.” Kazuha heaves.
For a moment, you are silent, and Kazuha wonders if his honesty scared you. But you smile.
In a cruel, twisted way, this was another chance for you both to confront the very god that you ran away from all those years ago.
“Hm. Kazuha, can I recite a something?”
That was not what he was expecting. “At a time like this?” he huffs out of breath, amused and terrified.
“I’ve been thinking about it for quite a while.” you shrug. “Now or never, right?”
A laugh escapes him. “I suppose so.”
Looking at a distant figure, Kazuha braces for a fight. Haven’t all soldiers been defeated by Kujou Sara?
But good heavens, literally, because it was the traveler. They look sickly pale, with hisses of ember and dashes of ice latched onto their skin and clothes. Their floating companion worries as she flies around them to check for major injuries.
As they approach closer, a flash of relief fills their face, and a smile blooms on yours.
If the traveler is safe, then they need not worry.
But that thought only lasts for a second, because through the thundering clouds and the gates of Tenshukaku, a bright slash of purple pries through time and space.
Therein lies the Raiden Shogun, and shivers force their way into Kazuha’s calm composure. Her merciless eyes shine with vibrant crackles of electricity powering her blade.
Anyone would die at the hand of it－ it has torn through mountains and stopped time itself. It is believed to be the ultimate symbol of power, a showcase of the power that the Shogun radiates.
This was the Muso No Hitotachi that ended Tomo’s life.
And now, the traveler across all galaxies is about to experience it.
The traveler is the face of the rebellion; their efforts were unexpected, but not unwelcome. They have scaled mountains and seas of Teyvat, and their tales have stretched far and wide. They defeated dragons and gods. They have become a symbol of peace, a bright flame under the cold statue of a god.
To kill them, what would be left of the resistance? Who else would be so daring to parry the Raiden Shogun then? What else would they do, but suffer?
“There will always be those who dare to brave the lighting’s glow.”
Should no one believe in Tomo’s sacrifice, Kazuha will be the one to follow his path.
Someone will take a stand－ right here, right now.
In a whirl of desperation, his feet push him forward, a blade firm in hand; his fingertips feel electrified, a sense of a long-lost ambition takes flight with the wind that carries him.
A furious light crackles from the impact, and a large gust of warm wind comes after. It nearly knocks him back, but he presses on.
The Raiden Shogun before him narrows and darts her eyes, but her gaze screams arrogance. As if she cannot comprehend mortals not being sliced into ashes at her mercy.
A grunt makes him spare a glance at his left－ and his heart drops. You have also spurred into action, and though your vision remains dull, the passion in your heart burns.
“If I die, there will be another who steps up in my place.”
Push her blade, show her the strength and true ambition of which the gods have favored!
Two cry out as Kazuha carries all his strength into one final slice. Pyro crackles and the overload makes the Shogun recoil; a trail of maple leaves and wind follows after, painting it a flash of pink.
A few sense of surprise floods his chest. How has electro come into play? Could it be－ ?
He glances down at the glowing electro vision, and his jaw goes slack. The vision he longed to reignite during his entire voyage, is glowing because of him?
Because of the ambition that he and Tomo share. The burning ambition to parry the Shogun’s blade.
The loss of his attention was his mistake, because the Shogun sends both of you flying with just two, short flicks of her spear.
Gorou rushes to Kazuha’s side, and your cursing voice is more than enough to assure him that you haven’t fainted from a concussion.
Gorou screams a command to charge, and the rest of the soldiers climb their way up the stairs with spears in hand.
Kazuha can’t move, and he doubts you can either. Worry is etched all over your face as you yell, your voice hoarse and used; “They’re no match for her!”
Kazuha grits his teeth and closes his eyes, readying the staircase to be painted with blood－
Only for the traveler to leap into the air, a powerful beam of electro emerging from their sword.
The Shogun closes her eyes, and reality collapses; a gateway to her realm trapping them as they fall in head first.
You can only let out a tired wheeze, and turn to Kazuha with an exasperated smile. There is nothing to smile about in this situation; but somehow, Kazuha has the urge to do the same.
“Heed my love.” you murmur, crawling towards the dying vision.
You grin at him, even brighter, if possible. It looks quite deranged, but Kazuha supposes he looks the same.
Kazuha is tentative in his advances, because surely, you couldn’t have picked a more inappropriate place to confess?
But you only lean in further and whisper.
“On your voyage of stars.”
The first kiss is delicate and chaste, with a brief brush of your lips against his－ yours is bloody and his is probably chapped, but if feels perfect, he feels at peace.
“Come on!” comes Gorou’s unamused groan, but it is overlapped with slight chuckles of your comrades.
You pull away, and you are far less flustered than he is.
Perhaps both of you will get to share more and more kisses in the future, if change allows it.
And if so, change isn’t such a bad guy. For even as the winds change their course and the seas lap with sunny skies and storms, you have a permanent place in his heart－ eternal and true.
By the time you are reading this, I will have gone to Tenshukaku to challenge the Shogun to a duel.
I do not have the power to win, and I know I will leave you with a burden to bear. But please understand that I seek not victory, but change－ both the change to be the first mortal to parry the Muso No Hitotachi, and the change of hearts it may bring regardless of the outcome.
Maybe my duel will mean nothing. Maybe it is a fruitless endeavor. But it will put my heart at rest, and that is all I long for in life.
I know you will rush to Tenshukaku, but I cannot guarantee your safety then. There is a box in the attic I prepared for you just in case my little act of rebellion brings you trouble.
Relay these words to Kazuha, word by word; I know of your affection towards her, and though you are not related to me by blood, I consider you brother-in-arms. Take care of her when things head south, or I will come back and skin you alive.
Do not give up hope, for change is to come－ whether in a year, a decade, or a millenia, the Raiden Shogun’s persistence of this unrealistic idea of eternity will not last forever.
Maybe I shall be the first to tell the world that.
