Into the Abyss

If you had been waiting to see a unicorn as long as I have...

Slurs used against intersex people are often taken and reclaimed for perisex trans people who then shut the door on us, telling intersex people these slurs were never "really" for us and that we need to keep our mouth shut on their usage.

Terminology we coin is similarly taken by perisex trans people, and then their usage is twisted and turned around to bludgeon us with in the endless attempt to fit intersex people into the box of agab based 'girl intersex' or 'boy intersex' for the sake of making trans discourse cleaner.

While it may seem harmless on the surface, even things like intersex animals being consistently held up as "trans icons" while their intersex status is ignored, is representative of the larger problem.

We're fetishized, propped up as "transition goals", people gush about what they imagine intersex bodies to be, joke about- or in rare cases, seriously claim- to be "transitioning into being intersex", because to them intersex people are a fetishized aesthetic.

And then, anybody who doesn't fit into their fetishized view of the 'true hermaphrodite' are treated as if they're not intersex at all. How often do perisex people mockingly deride who they view as "just cis women with pcos" for daring to try to have a voice in gendered conversations? As if hormonally intersex people are 'fakers' in some way.

We're used as a talking point, constantly, against transphobes.

"How can transphobia be 'basic biology' when even sex isn't binary?" perisex trans people challenge transphobes, but then, as soon as they're done using us as a gotcha, those same perisex trans people try to push us into a sex binary that doesn't fit us.

There's an envy, almost, to how perisex trans people talk about "cis children" having access to "gender affirming care" like surgeries and hormones, speaking about our medical abuse, the medical mutilation of our children, as if it's a privilege to us as "cis people", rather than a horrible oppression our community faces.

And then there's the argument, on how transmisogynistic laws impact "cis women" (intersex people) as well, as if this is something transphobes are unaware of. Whether they'll say it or not, very few pericis people care to differentiate between a "hermaphrodite" and a "transsexual" in their minds, intersex people are not collateral damage, we are intended targets.

Not to mention how intersex people are also used as weapons in intra-community discourse within the trans community as well, people will tack on the concept of intersexism to an argument to legitimize it while refusing to listen to or engage with our community, at least, beyond the few intersex people with internalized intersexism they can find to boost their points and then drop. We are a talking point, but we ourselves are never given the space to talk, because fundamentally our oppression is seen as lesser, 'collateral' in transphobia, this is why perisex trans people seem to think we're a good debate point to use against transphobes who surely care about us.

This concept of intersex people as "collateral" is also what fuels the concept that trans people can, and should, "just pretend to be intersex" to get out of instances of oppression, as if intersex people don't experience horrible violence regardless, for looking the way we do, for being what we are. Actually talk to almost any intersex person and I'm sure they'll be able to give you countless examples of times "I just have a condition" didn't save them, because intersex people too are active targets of gendered violence and oppression.

Even intersex people who are also trans are frequently given a lesser seat at the table. Because we're "lucky", because surely we have an easier time transitioning, a head start, and surely by virtue of being intersex we- especially intersex people people with an ISIG- can more easily be 'accepted' as another gender anyways, so rather than intersex trans people being treated as more vulnerable, because of how intersexism and transphobia intersect to doubly marginalize us, we're viewed as somehow 'less trans', or at least impacted less significantly by transphobia, and, well, functionally, it seems a lot of trans people do not believe intersexism exists, or if they do believe in it, they view it as a misdirected and lesser form of transphobia.

And I'm tired of it. I'm tired of intersex terminology and oppression and symbols being co-opted by perisex people who then try to claim those things were never ours at all, I'm tired of being a talking point for people to use for their benefit without having a voice of our own, I'm tired of us being rhetorical props to be put back in our boxes when perisex people are done using us, I'm tired of our community being derisively talked over from all sides, I'm tired of the fetishization, the envy, the belittling, and of still having to meekly and respectfully beg for a seat at the table in discussions of gendered oppression!