one day you’ll wake up at 9:30am on a Sunday w the love of ur life and you’ll make some coffee and pancakes and it’ll all be alright

if you’re not paying attention to trees and how they sway in the wind then what are you even doing

“i don’t want topless girls or leather daddies at pride” well i don’t want wells fargo or facebook at pride but we don’t always get what we want

There’s something truly exquisite about stories where the real tragedy is the price you paid to stand on top of the world

Hollow victories … sacrificing your humanity on the altar of what you perceive to be the greater good … the loneliness of godhood … regret for the person you used to be … the realisation that there is no way back … *chef’s kiss*

being an adult and buying your own shit is so weird i don’t understand why anything is priced the way it is. why did my tattoo cost 8 toothpastes? why does a pair of socks cost a sandwich but a fancy dinner costs a whole jacket? why is book the same cost as 2 bag frozen vegetables? nothing makes sense i just wanna steal.

learn to be done. not mad, not bothered, just done. protect your peace at all costs.

The Spy Kids movies have the exact vibe of when you and your friends are running around in the backyard creating an elaborate story based entirely around whatever random nonsense happens to be lying around.  This empty happy meal box is a computer.  If I spin this bop-it the right way it will unlock the secret door.  We have to get to the jets! (The jets are the swings).  My little sister says her pigtails spin around and let her fly and we all agree with that.  These swim goggles let me see through walls.  There are a series of stepping stones leading to a big rock in the middle of the garden.  The rock is the office of the Head Spy and the dirt is actually a bottomless pit, so you have to be careful when you jump across.  The bad guys have disabled all our weapons but my necklace is actually a secret super cool weapon that works anyway!  There’s logic and continuity but only as much as a bunch of five-to-twelve year olds can keep straight without bothering to keep notes or look up any science facts they don’t already happen to know.  This is not a complaint.

I’m so embarrassed to admit I want things and I’m like damn u silly bitch it’s ok to want it’s ok to be disappointed

“this pillow works better if your a back sleeper” bitch I’m a rotisserie chicken sleeper I don’t stop turning until sleep rips me forcefully from this world

i can fix him *traumatizes him*

parents when their kids exhibit symptoms of neurodivergency