sideblog for my other kinks

I know that's what you've been thinking. I've been treating you more like a lover. You think that because I let you sleep chained to my bed instead of on the cold basement floor that I'm going to get sloppy, that I'll start trusting you, that you'll have the chance to escape. I know how that brain of yours works. On some level you have to know the truth- you'll never get out of here.

You probably had a better chance of getting out before, when you were still a cold, crying thing in the basement, before I brought you upstairs to stay with me. I hardly cared, then, you were just another pet. A thing pretending to be a person that was just slow enough for me to catch. If you ran off or died or lost your marbles I'd just get a new one. Your cuffs were one-size-fits-all and the basement window has always been broken. You had a chance then. Not anymore. I'm more careful- you're special now. You made yourself irreplaceable.

Like, no matter how fast or how far someone there goes, there's always more, nothing different as one goes on, just the same hallway always and forever stretching farther than you can see.

Only one way to go, and it's nothing, no twists or turns, just the same thing over and over again as you try to find something new, and it's just the same hallway again with no difference, always and always.

MANY thoughts on this first off thank you so much for engaging with this blog's weirder side in this kind of depth, anon, I can tell that you're a person who like. 'gets' labyrinth/structure kink or at least gets the ways i get it. it's a small and silly thing but like, I feel seen and such. second off i never played PT or that one SCP game so I feel a little bit unqualified to talk about this so bear with me. like i haven't read the theory third off... I could never dislike her if she was a vast or infinite space and trusting me enough to both contain me and to reveal her nature as a conscious being to me, but... like, it feels sad, right? it feels lonely. I don't know how complex a hallway you're talking about here, if there's any furniture or anywhere to be comfortable, but I'm picturing something extremely bare.

nothing to see, walls blank or unobtrusively and minimally decorated... nothing to investigate... it's, you feel bad for her, right? this is ALL she is. the labyrinth kink itself is about the intimacy of, like, grasping another complex mind, of understanding on such a level that you become interwoven with the world-mind. this is... you can understand it right away, and there's nothing you can DO with it, right, because there's so little possibility-space to interact with her.

there's nothing you can try, there's no puzzles, there's no pattern to figure out because the pattern is a straight line, there's no apparent or implicit objective, there's nothing to learn about her and no way to learn it... it's like. it's almost like looking at a deeply DEEPLY depressed girl, right? she's hollow. she's beautiful, but she's... not trying to be beautiful, and cracks are showing, and you ask her what she wants to do and she can't come up with anything. and maybe if you bring something with you she can follow along with that and participate for a while, right, but like... she gives nothing back.

and i'm not judging her! because clearly she seems very sad. but she's so empty. and I see beauty in her and love her and I want to heal her I want to teach her to, be more than she is now, I want to help her life contain more than just this same thing, but the scale of her AND of her sadness and hurt feels so far beyond me that I don't know how to even start, I don't know what doing that would even look like for her, and I don't know what she could possibly WANT, I don't know if she even feels like she has the capacity for wanting.

and I think I see an uncomfortable amount of myself in thinking about her and describing her.

yeah its why you don't feel anything other than bliss and contentment at that revelation, even though you know that's "horrifying" and "unethical" and "medically impossible". but its also why you're not worried about any of that and you're hopelessly in love with Me. and looking forward to the rest of your life as My obedient pet.