A Blue Violet

Im always brighter in the morning

Im always easier to get

When it is late and i am warming

Myself somewhere within the bed

Im always sending all my feelings

Im always giving it away

The secrets kept in rays of sunshine

Released with the end of the day

You wait till i am almost dreaming

To catch me while im unaware

You wait till i am almost gone

Away away too far to care

Do you love me like i love you

Cause the day is long when im through

Waiting

Hoping

sigh/ your breath stopped

Seconds pass; and it’s alot to

Hear you tell me that you want to

Try

Try

Say good night

Good night

And you make breakfast in the kitchen

But i just want to hold your hand

I memorize the way you look

When skies are blue but dont say it

Im always sending all my feelings

Like radioactive waves

A signal thats picked up by you and me

A frequency asking you to stay

You wait till i am almost dreaming

To catch me when im unaware

You wait till i am almost gone

Away too far away to care

Do you love me like i love you

The day is long/ when im through

Waiting hoping

Sigh/ your heart stopped

Seconds pass and it’s alot to

Hear you tell me that you

Want to 

Try

Try

Say goodnight

Fell off of the wagon

Torn out of the sky

My wheels are spinning sideways

And life is passing by

Im too young to be worried

About making mistakes

All wrapped up under covers

Under covers Under covers

I am cold and i am haunted and im trying

Just to breathe

Ill be anything you wanted

You just leave it up to me

I have skins ill leave them lying

Under covers under covers

A compliment ive always longed to

Be unlike all of the others

So just paint me how youd like to

I am good im not a saint

I am rotten like an apple

Painted red; tempt you to bite

Will you take me will you take me

Under covers under covers

Will you leave me will you leave me

Under covers under covers

its an insult when you treat me

Like the others like the others

I am cold and i am haunted and im trying

Just to breathe

I have loved and i have wanted and he taught me how to be

Anything he longed for but never just what he needs

Kiss the skin; ill leave it lying

Under covers under covers

Whats missing; he leaves me crying

Like the others like the others

It was over in seconds

Barely lasted a minute

Just a toe across the line

And you can call it off the edge

As if im threatening to jump but

The jump is just a step

Away

I’ll bury every feeling

Under covers under covers

If i steal warmth from a body

Will i be just like the others

Always  lying

Don’t get attached

Like a hook to a string

Like a sharp little thing

That will tear you apart

Ive ripped a hole

Its a mess on the floor

Just a knot

Do you know

When the ending will start

I can see to the finish line

And what you describe

Isnt close/ isnt there

I can reach to the bottom of

every rock bottom

i hit/ im aware 

Dont tell me to protect

The heart

That got shattered

Dont get attached

What a cute little thing

Wanting love with every attraction

I cant obsess

Over people who go

Like the trains blowing horns

While the moon stares

Im asleep but not dreaming

I can see what youre doing

Im okay if youre walking away

I can see to the finish line

And what you describe

Isnt close isnt there

I can reach to the bottom of

Every mystery

Built into my skin/ Im aware

That i cant protect the heart

That got shattered

Lying in bed

Dirty dishes in the sink

Cleaned up the floor

Still messy when you think

About the things that are left to do

Except you never learned quite how

Fan that blows the heat

Only circles around

You like the trees outside

wish for flowers in the window

Mistake the girls that step inside the door

For shelter; another place to hide

Step outside your head

Youre doing okay

Not great but youre doing okay

And you know what you want

But cant get what you need

And i will stroke your hair

And tell you  youre pretty

but you wont believe me

And is it no good

The time that flies hour to hour

A pillow on the couch

The guitar on your lap

i like the way your books look

But no spoons are clean

your fridge is empty

And you call out for lunch

But youre living on the top floor

And dont want to climb the stairs

Im taking the train to your place

There and back too soon

Im restless when i stay

impatient when im not with you

Step outside your head

Wrapped up in your failures

You make people laugh

But do you make people laugh

You know what you want

Cant get what you need

I will stroke your hair

When you call in sick

And tell you youre pretty

But you dont believe me

And i think of the unfinished things in your room

A portrait of you a portrait of you

Piles of laundry nothing to wear

A spider that crawls up the wall

While we stare at the afternoon

And i will stroke your hair

But you dont believe me

Youre doing okay

Not great but okay

Youre doing okay

Not great but okay

Youre doing okay

Im an outgrown sweater 

We are happier together 

Something too small

Something much too big

And youre too heavy to carry

I get worried youll be married

Youll grow taller

Much taller than me

You learn alphabets and letters

You get bruises they get better

You stop crying at the silly things

And your momma well shes not home

But you still never feel alone

Ive got you and baby youve got me

And now youre sleeping and  

youre dreaming 

And your monsters tucked in bed 

And youre counting

sheep and wishing

They were dancing here

instead

Now the moon is watching over  

You watch over the stars 

And im thinking youll go far

And im worried youll go far 

and I know that youll go far

You get sick and you get quiet

And your mom goes on a diet

You tell her shes beautiful inside

And your hair it touches the floor

Curls away and breaks every comb

As you run you like to let it fly

Youre in bed youre watching movies

You sing loud you live on cookies

And you want to show off your cartwheels

And there’s dancing in the kitchen

A new backpack; long list of friends

And you like the way your new shoes feel

And now youre sleeping and  

youre dreaming

And your monsters tucked in bed

And youre counting

sheep and wishing

They were dancing here

instead

Now the moon is watching over  

You watch over the stars

And im thinking youll go far

And im worried youll go far

and I know that youll go far

Im an outgrown sweater

We are happier together

Something small

A cross to bear 

Your soul to carry 

A song to sing

Your secrets buried 

Im callling you late in the night

Cause i am over being right

If  you are ready

I am ready

Whisper goodnight

Late in the morning

The sun is bright

But you are mourning

Oh sleeper  

Stay right where you are 

Dont wander far

Dont wander far

Ill be your anchor 

When its storming 

Im shaken but i’m wide awake

Your broken pieces decoration

If it is easy just to take

The better half of what i am

I wont ask you for explanations

Its not always a happy day 

Take what you get

Its what youre giving

Turned outwards love

Is always hate

Turned inside out

When forced to stay

The colored walls

Are still a prison

Im always coming in too late 

Im always slow to make decisions 

The lambs are screaming me awake 

We’re past the love into religion 

Your sacrifice it hits the floor

Want my advice?

Just leave it there

Its good to keep them wanting more

A good distraction from despair

Whisper goodnight

Late in the morning

The sun is bright

But you are mourning

Oh sleeper  

Stay right where you are

Dont wander far

Dont wander far

Ill be your anchor

Youve got me buried in your secrets

You flip the lid you shut the door

Ive got a window to jump out of

Follow me im going down 

I dont mind 

Im not worried 

Follow me im going down

Lost my mind

Im not sorry

Left you there I left you crying

Left alone I do no good

I’m unsafe no but i’m trying

Tell me i’m misunderstood

Follow me i’m going down

Found a sign

Found a warning

Follow me i’m going down

Took a bite

Of your longing

Left you there and I kept going

Left alone I do no good

Turn around but I am growing

Crooked from my many moods

Follow me no i am going

I am going

Going down

Take my hand well I going

Places where you

can’t run out

I’m a red flag and im waving 

Gone beyond

The point of saving 

Given up the things im given 

Ends and pieces left uneven 

Don’t follow me where i am going

I am going

She said goodnight and swore she loved you

Wake up in the morning one text says you're through

Your years are in boxes/ her memory on the windowsill

You are a wave and you are crashing 

I am a wall built with intention 

You breathe a sigh of dissilussion 

I try to hide my satisfaction 

And you get higher to overcome .

Try to stand taller

See eye to eye 

I wont resist if im undone

But wont go down without a fight

You can complain but you are losing

Every demand made with no thought

I win only because im choosing

Picking my way through every bomb

And there are eggshells on the ground

But i grew up a tiny dancer

You think that you can stomp them out

Got cuts and bruises as an answer

And you get higher to overcome 

Try to stand taller see eye to eye 

I wont resist if im undone 

But wont go down without a fight

I lay a brick with every battle

Your house of sticks is made Of stones

You throw them like an accusation

When you are done youre left alone

 And you get higher to overcome

Try to stand taller see eye to eye

I won’t resist if i’m undone

But won’t go down without a fight.

You make an evil where there’s none

I choose to live you just survive

I stand my ground I get back up

Ladders of bones you use to,climb

and you get higher to overcome

Try to stand taller see eye to eye

I won’t resist if i’m undone

A wood cut

In the shape of a man

In the shape of a

Can you arrange a story

Words that struck

Chords that sang you a song

Sounds like life sounds like love

Things you threw to the sea

And I I am waiting at your door

I’m a spacesuit wear me out

In the times that you explore

the unknown territory

And I I am just a hand to hold

I won't let you be alone

Leave you hanging off the earth

Give me fault ill show you(re) worth

More than anything could be (to me)

Paper plane

Give me strength to fly true

Message carried to you

That he whispered on my wing

Open page

Ask a question draft a start

Plot a way to steal a heart

To steal a mind out of the clouds

well I I am waiting at your door

I’m a spacesuit wear me out

In the times that you explore

the unknown territory

And I I am spread out on the floor

And you hover on the ceiling

Full of worry stuck on feeling

all your anxiety

Take the cup

Drink the tea and read the future

In the leaves

Of grass thats blowing

In the wind

In the morning

The clothes have dried away with sun

And i am thinking that i won

An argument

a silent argument

With myself

You are blowing

All your wishes in the wind

They plant weeds upon the lawn

Another flower in a field of dreams

You wild-flower

A wall-flower

Staying quiet in your disguise

You wild-flower

A wall-flower

Silently you agonize

Over the world

You’re over the world

In the meantime

In the sometime between someday

And the yesterday thats past

You breath sighs of restless

Feelings trapped inside your skin

I am hoping

I am planning a vacation

A good seat on aviation

Spending time outside of me

And you’re packing

And you’re thinking you have won

An escape from everyone

Telling you which way to be

You wild-flower

A wall-flower

Staying quiet in your disguise

You wild-flower

A wall-flower

Silently you agonize

Over the world

Youre over the world

Tell me if its true (oooo ooo)

With the sunlight mountains sing

And if they sing a song to you (ooo oooo)

Will you love them all again?

You wild-flower.

A wall-flower.

Staying quiet in your disguise

You wild-flower

A wall-flower

Silently you agonize

Oh cause the world

Give me time with you

All I want is time with you

To hold you in my gaze

And touch you with my longing

Stare

Give me some more time with you

Greedy little one

Its true

I want to hold you in my heart

And wonder if you are

Equally scared

That you may

Want forever

And what if thats

Impossible

Then what to do

With every day

Numbered through

The end.

Give me just a day with you

Of memorizing lines with you

The exact shape of your face

The curve of every trace

Of age

I’m still amazed

That i may want forever

And what if thats impossible

Then what to do with

Every day

Thats numbered

Love me like you want to 

Keep me like you long to 

Have me for the rest of your life 

Show me that you need me 

Not afraid to see me 

As i am and its not blind 

Love that you are feeling 

Heart that you are stealing 

Beats so fast so out of time 

Love tell me your secret 

Youre so good its keeping 

Me on edge right on the line 

I dont want to be in love with you 

In love with me 

I just want to be the one

you want the one you need 

I dont want to be in love with you 

Out of love with me 

Dont you keep on pulling tighter 

And you keep on getting closer 

Dont you see im going under 

And i dont see getting over 

You

I dont want to be in love 

With you

Stop right where your standing

Jumping over landing

Steps too close too far behind

You keep moving forward

Fill us with the notion

We are better intertwined

Hold me like youll never

Let go of forever

Make a truth out of a lie

We enter into nothing

Always expecting something

To birth itself without us trying

But i dont want to be yours

When you dont want to be mine.

I dont want to be in love with you

In love with me

I just want to be the one

you want the one you need

I dont want to be in love with you

Out of love with me

Dont you keep on pulling tighter

And you keep on getting closer

Dont you see im going under

And i dont see getting over

You

I dont want to be in love

With you

With you

I dont want to be in love with you

I dont want to be in love with you

In love with me

I just want to be the one

you want the one you need

I dont want to be in love with you

In love with me

I just want to be the one

you want the one you need

But you keep on pulling tighter

And you keep on getting closer

Dont you see im going under

And i dont see getting over

I grew up without me knowing

I grew up without you noting

Well my age keeps me from going

Far away from this town

Im too young to be so sure of-

Im too old to be so stuck on-

Nothings ever really enough

To satisfy

Dropped a question at your door

Waiting till you pick me up

I complain youre driving slow

But everything is speeding by

And the world keeps turning spinning around

Itll make you dizzy if you watch

I am watching listening for the sound

Of when it stops

And your mind is filled with all the noise

Will you kill the silence with a voice

Tell me all your secrets dreams that become real when said aloud

I blew out the candles in the dark Of forest night

And i set a fire that killed everything in sight

I ran with scissors in my hand

And cut myself in youth

And in the fabric of my very life

I made some knots I mistook wrong for right

Its A pattern i can think about

In webs of lies the threads of truth

Well im outgrowing every pair of clothes

Im too big to fit into your shoes

The day will come and this is how it goes

The decision is made/ you tell me choose

And the world keeps turning spinning round

Itll make you dizzy if you watch

I am watching listening for the sound

Of when it stops

And your mind is filled with all the noise

Will you kill the silence with a voice

Tell me all your secrets

dreams are real when said aloud

I grew up without you knowing

My age wont keep me from going

white 

like a rabbit

trembling in your hand

gray like the feelings

you swear that you have

somewhere in the distance

all i can see is red

you force back my resistance

just to get me to bed

i swear i dreamt

the end of the world

last night 

i swear i called out your name

but you werent mine

our sleep only lasts

until when you wake me up

the cold is whats left

of the places you touch

you cant miss the things that you never had

and i make a mess even when i try

so tell me who should hold the blame for that

the lion the lamb or the stars that collide

i swear i dreamt

the end of the world last night

i swear i called your name

but you werent mine

i swear i dreamt

the end of the world last night

please tell me

i am not wasting my time

white like the snow

and i melt in your hand

cold like a ghost