why are you still here

Babe are you okay? You reblogged crystallizedtwilight’s Strangers that live with me forever. again

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you know what actually thank god im a mortal and so cant be summoned anywhere goddamn

what the fuck is jury duty

Microdosing on court intrigue by being really cagey about what I do in my spare time for no good reason

when i talk shit about golfing, please know that none of it is about mini golf. it could never be about her. she's done nothing wrong in her entire life. god's perfect little putt putt.

I just dove a shipwreck and ten gajillion sharks were there 🥰

And tonight I get certified to night dive!!!!

On the wreck dive there was a five foot long barracuda hanging out under the dive boat. Just vibing.

UPDATE: I SAW NOT ONE BUT TWO OCTOPUSES ON THE NIGHT DIVE

Did you know! Lobsters can be colossal.

barter economics

this is the single best description i have ever heard for a cat

me [completely out of touch with my feelings, trying to describe an emotion]: I feel, um, glittery? buzzy. like peeling my skin off

dont take bird noises for granted

next time ur outside and you hear birds just think about how awesome that is and how much it would suck if they were gone

Official Ornithology Post

Well this is awkward...

Woah mama it's my own specter

listen: cheating at baseball is like a whole second sport. as long as baseball has existed, people have been cheating at it