I have screenshot this and censored this TERF’s name bc I am relatively sure she is a minor, and the person she’s arguing with here definitely is. That doesn’t make any of what this TERF said here okay at all tho.

this kind of shit is rly fucked up, im rather lucky this doesnt trigger my paranoia episodes

also terf: goes to every comment that's complimenting a trans woman to insult them

^^^^^^^^^^

The ironic thing is I saw a gender critical gay guy like her reblog on my post.

If the symptoms are severe enough, yes they very much can be @excaliburg

Can we talk seriously for one second? It's about narcissists.

I'm in bed writing CoN!Rhys and Cardan and spinning fantasies of cruel, arrogant men who actually just need to be loved and turn into wife simps by the end of the story. Charming, clever, beautiful men with an ego streak is what I like.

I just wanted to make sure I said out loud that I do not actually think that trauma is a good excuse for intentionally hurting people, nor do I think that narcissism is something that can be fixed with enough love. Listen to Auntie Morgan.

Under narcissism there is no secret softness.

Under narcissism there is only a black hole of selfishness and a desperate need for admiration. You'll be perfect to them until you're not, and then you'll never be good enough. Narcissists find kind-hearted people and then suck them dry, until they are empty and broken, and then they move onto the next one.

I have loved a narcissist. I am now a mental health professional. Narcissism is a nasty thing that tends not to get better because narcissists don't want to change. You cannot save a narcissist.

I've posted about my narcissist a couple of times on tumblr. I loved him a very long time, this is not a recent heartache this is years long in the making, and I'm in a relationship with someone else now but he still gets under my skin. I loved him and he ate me alive.

Yes, at first it was hot. It was smoking hot sure, but then it started to really, really hurt and I began to wonder where chunks of me had gone. The constant lies made me feel like I was going insane, he had (has) no respect for me or my boundaries or my safety. He told me so many times he was sorry and he realised how bad he was and he was working on change. He was not. He told me he loved me, and only me, more than anyone else. He did not.

This is all to say that when I write fics I am writing deep and dark fantasies that are just that. Fantasies. Things I wish that could happen but don't. And I have so many of you lovely people here with me, particularly young women, and I have so much love for you all. So I need you to not look for these men in real life. I need you to not let yourself be tortured thinking that they'll change, that they're loveable underneath like Rhys or Cardan.

Yes, narcissists are beautiful, and charming, and clever, and will come after you hard. Yes they are traumatised, and sad, and angry, and they will confide in you that they need love and you're the only one who understands. They will still choke the life out of you at the end of the day, and they will not care that they have done it.

I still like confidence, and kink, and even arrogance (when it's not delusional). But I have watched narcissistic relationships drown so many beautiful people, and I want to make sure that I am very clear about not adding to the lie that real life narcissists will change if you just give enough of yourself to them. Your boundaries and consent are so worthy of protection.

So be safe out there my loves, and don't ever let people torture you just because they have trauma. We all have fucking trauma.

Okay?

Okay.

Some are HOH, some are non or semi verbal. Some deaf people CAN use spoken language as well. Some nonverbal ppl can hear, some have a condition that makes it hard or impossible.

Back in the mid 20th century, the word for deaf people was “deaf AND dumb” and the word for nonverbal people was “dumb”.

Dumb turned into mute turned into nonverbal.

So in modern day speaking, you woudl call a deaf person who can’t speak “deaf and nonverbal”

In thsi same setting HOH would be “HOH and nonverbal” and the list goes on.

"deaf and dumb" is a slur, hearing people saying it is a fast way to get me to curb stomp you.

"Deaf and nonverbal" is not the term for signing Deaf. the term is signing Deaf.

"HoH and nonverbal" is not the term for signing HoH. the term is signing HoH.

"nonverbal" isn't even the preferred term... it's nonspeaking, nonverbal implies nonthinking.

Being nonspeaking, or semispeaking, does not make you Deaf. You are still hearing, hearing doesn't mean "doesn't communicate with ASL" it means you can hear. Deaf issues go beyond just communication, you guys can cross every road completely sure that no cars are coming because you can hear them. You guys don't experience language deprivation the way Deaf kids do. You guys don't experience audism.

Nonspeaking people can use ASL to communicate, but it's not the same as being Deaf. It does not take away your hearing privilege, or remove your ability to appropriate ASL. At the end of the day, it's not your language.

Parents of nonspeaking children are not told that teaching their child ASL will ruin any shot they have at succeeding in life. Doctors tell parents of Deaf children that sign language is bad, that sign language will ruin their child's ability to succeed in life, even if they're taught ASL and English speech simultaneously. Doctors aren't trying to erase nonspeaking people's language and culture, they are trying to erase Deaf culture.

I was born HoH, I was also nonspeaking because of my autism. When my parents proposed teaching me ASL to give me better communication, do you want to know what the speech therapist said? "Don't do that, he's Deaf, that'll ruin his future" but she had no issue with hearing, nonspeaking children learning ASL. When my second grade class was teaching kids how to finger spell, my speech therapist encouraged my parents to take me out of class for it, but did not do the same to other hearing, nonspeaking children. The oppression is not based on using ASL to communicate, the oppression is based on being Deaf.

And sure, a hearing nonspeaking person using ASL to communicate is going to experience oppression specifically because they use ASL, but that oppression is because people assume they are Deaf. It's all about hearing. (they still experience nonspeaking specific oppression, ofc, but not for being nonspeaking person using ASL)

A nonspeaking person using ASL to communicate is not appropriation, but that doesn't mean they can't appropriate ASL. Hearing people will always flock to other hearing people using ASL over any Deaf person because haring people are raised to see deafness as inferior and "other" even if that hearing person is nonspeaking.

If a nonspeaking person were to sell products with ASL on them, or translate songs into ASL, hearing people would buy from them over Deaf creators, which hurts Deaf people. When hearing, nonspeaking people talk over Deaf people about hearing people appropriating ASL, saying things like "I use ASL to communicate and I don't think ASL can be appropriated" it not only demonstrates how distant nonspeaking people really are from Deaf people, but hearing-speaking people take that as a sign they can continue appropriating. They don't care if the majority of Deaf people say otherwise because now they can cherry pick opinions.

It was the most stressful, suspenseful movie I’d seen in YEARS. I spent the whole movie going “OMG, are they going to make it?!!”

Because the characters don’t know the ending. And we care about the characters. We’re experiencing what they’re experiencing vicariously, through them. That’s the catharsis of good storytelling. 

And the people who made the movie understood that and they were all good at their jobs.

You create tension by getting your audience to care about the characters (which, honestly, doesn’t take all that much, as humans can form an emotional attachment to a Roomba [literally] and will). Once your audience is invested, you can create tension a million ways. 

It’s entirely possible to tell a story with life and death stakes that’s full of tension, of course, but if you have to have life or death stakes or there won’t be any dramatic tension, you’re not doing your job as a storyteller. 

…I was going to say “Okay, but there are worse things that could happen to your characters than death.”

There was a post that circulated I think a year or so ago discussing one of the animated Batman shows where they weren’t allowed to let the Joker kill people, since it was a children’s show, so instead the Joker left his victims’ faces contorted into the horrifying Joker grin, which is much, much more disturbing than just killing people. And that post had the statement (paraphrased), “When you disallow writers from showing death, you’re practically asking them to show what a worse fate than death might be.”