Abbi K. Benton

Ended up getting zero answers on our fertility. Had to switch doctors and now we’re back to the waiting game. Thanks to good old Hurricane Florence.

The hurricane tore threw my town and left lots of damage to good ol’ Jville, but luckily we didn’t have much damage. Lost our groceries, got some mold, and had tons of fleas. But we were both safe, the cats were all safe, and we got things taken care of.

My husband and I spend a month apart due to him working and me going back home to evacuate during the hurricane with the cats, we finally got to see each other again, but we’re sadly apart once more. Preparing for his deployment and my move has been incredibly stressful and is beginning to take a toll on the both of us mentally, and us financially, but we’re getting there.

So since my last update, we had the chance to try for a baby one more time. Tests have come back negative and I’m due for a period any time. So I’m not very optimistic about a baby this time around, but hopefully we will have another chance before my husband deploys.

I’ve started focusing more on my mental health and taking care of myself. I’ve been drinking more tea, taking more baths, and not getting on my social media as much. I took a little break and decided what exactly I want to do with my life and my social media presence, and I want to try harder to make a better, bigger impact on the lives around me. I plan on making some changes to how often and what I’m posting on my accounts, and eventually I will have everything exactly where I want it. I promise to update more frequently as things start to calm down.

I was already not very confident in our trying to conceive efforts for this month, mainly because we didn’t really try. My husband spent most of the time frame out of state and by the time he got home, we were very short on time for my fertile window.

But still, after having a late period or super long cycles the last few months, I’ve been an absolute mess since starting my period early.

This was cycle 11. Which means that as of next cycle, we’ve been trying for our baby for a year.

My heart is aching. I feel like I’m letting my husband down, i definitely feel like I’ve let myself down. I feel so sad and absolutely heartbroken. I never thought that getting pregnant would be this difficult for me.

I keep trying to tell myself that it’ll happen one day, and that it’s just in God’s timing... but it’s really hard to keep the confidence up.

I go to the Doctor on September 4th, and I’ll try to make an update then. I’m extremely nervous and very anxious, but maybe he’ll be able to help.