o aaron

what s up aaronators! we’re starting off with a reading from Jane Carter’s 2000 “memoir” (?), Aaron Carter: The Little Prince of Pop. see here.

please see Kyle’s reading of the text at his YouTube page, maroon6fan

pop songs: are they glossolalia? what work is performed by pop idols, and does it justify the exploitation of children? tell us in the comments!!!

girl you shine: is it upsetting to be hailed as the glistening object of Aaron’s affection?

POPSTAR (2005) the movie:

watch it here.

featuring adult child stars such as David Cassidy (The Partridge Family) as Aaron’s manager:

and Leif Garrett as a wise janitor:

the story focuses on a girl with braces who would be pretty if she could just stop being such a huge fucking dork:

as well as an uncomfortably realistic plot about Aaron’s inability to perform scholastically, thus landing him in that most classic of hellscapes, a regular american high school:

And if he can’t do math he can’t tour or make money or make women want him anymore so the stakes are pretty high.

Also, Adrianne Palicki of Friday Night Lights fame plays a mean hot girl.

”You’re so hot. I’m so glad you’re my friend.”

Aaron gives the braces girl, who is good at the math that he needs to learn, many items, such as a cell phone and a car:

She loves it.

She’s got a way with math on the beach:

And he has a car. What could be more perfect?

The dad from Happy Days is also in the movie:

There’s also a bizarre, uncredited cameo from noted pop manager and thief, Lou Perlman:

The movie is, itself, a meta fan fiction:

Anyway after he gives her a lot of expensive items, and their love is tested by an anonymous starlet named London, she gets her braces off and he takes a math test and everything turns out fine. Also Adrianne Palicki is despoiled via wardrobe malfunction in which her water bra bursts and everyone laughs. The movie ends the way it begins: with Aaron performing a pop song, and then they kiss. Check it out on YouTube and tell us what you think!!!!

LIFE OR DEBT: Aaron Carter appears on a Spike TV series in which a bald man, Victor Antonio, yells at you until you figure out how to better manage your finances.

The episode was filmed in 2015, and perhaps offers an explanation of why Aaron feels the need to compulsively disclose details about his financial situation to the media and on social media. He explains that he had to file chapter 7 bankruptcy in 2014 because his parents didn’t pay taxes on a large part of his income, such that when he gained access to his trust, he had the choice to either pay his parents’ back taxes or send them to jail. Nonetheless, by 2015, he’s still in a ton of debt for undetermined reasons until the bald guy steps in.

This guy, who is wearing a douchey style of hat that I don’t know the name of, manages Aaron Carter’s money at the time the episode is filmed:

Kyle correctly identifies the originator of this look, one Justin Bobby from the Hills:

This show is weird. It’s about how if you can be a man, a manager, a boss, and a dude, you can make debt your b*tch and regain control of your life. While the other episodes seem to follow “regular” Americans, Aaron seems like a bizarre and exceptional example of how poor personal finance choices can impact one’s life:

Aaron Carter, the face of American precarity?

Uh, are they?

Aaron hated the episode and freaked out at length:

What did yall think of Life or Debt??? Tell us in the comments for the love of God!!!! Catch us at:

aaronsparty-comegetit.tumblr.com

[email protected]

Aaron’s Party on Facebook

@pussytrust for AC tweet digest

TWEET NEWS!!!! Aaron unfollowed everybody. At the time the episode was recorded, he followed 63 people; as of this writing he follows 524 people.

AARONATOR OF THE WEEK! @rcherry2436. She rules give her a follow!!!

Also, two final tweets to top us off:

And finally, here are your tweets for the chanting corner:

Honestly…same.

we begin with a quote from fellow d-lister, chris crocker:

[source]

are we talking shit? it’s likely. but the real news is that aaron’s new single “Fool’s Gold” is dropping this Friday, April 1!!!! April Fool’s day. look out.

so, here’s the biggest aaron story we’ll break this episode. shouts out to all the listeners and concerned citizens who alerted us to this clusterfuck of a non-news event. 

aaron briefly endorsed donald trump.

this GQ interview is honestly full of gems, such as:

“Hell yeah, I’m stressed.”

“I don’t regret any tweets. No.”

here’s how it all started:

an hour later, aaron emerged, beleagured:

and a few hours later, besieged by fans’ outrage at aaron endorsing a reality tv star who literally hates women and gays (aaron’s key fan base), he begins to recant:

aaron and donald share such experiences as having been on reality tv, being outspoken misogynists, and having gone bankrupt a time or two. check the gq interview for details on aaron’s monthly income and credit score. 

anyway, in the end, aaron backed off, and is now expressing his refusal to vote. 

if you’re interested, this esquire interview features aaron’s candid commentary on his parents: “Instead of looking at it like, "Oh my god I hate you," I look at it like, "I love you.”  powerful stuff.

anyway, despite many claims to the contrary in february....

...by the time we recorded the episode, aaron, citing bullies, had denounced the vote itself (or at least, his willingness to participate in it):

these tweets have since been deleted. 

anyway long live anarchy, voting is a circus, amerika is an unjust project based on murder n theft. what do yall think anarchy means to aaron? does this matter? did we mention that you can tell us.........in the comments?? why doesn’t anyone email us!!?! give it a try: [email protected]

one key attitude shared by trump and aaron is an unfortunate but persistent commitment to hating women, here evinced by aaron lashing out in graphic terms at an eighteen-year-old girl on twitter:

like...yikes dude. see also: amalia ulman on justin bieber for an in-depth exploration of a boy pop star’s violent ascent into manhood.

aaron carter told kyle and paige once that “you know that you love someone when you want to kill them.” we think this is an abusive idea here at the podcast. love isn’t hate. read up. 

relatedly, it seems like aaron is on a short fuse lately. “Flip me off, go to jail.”

see tmz’s coverage (including video!)

more rage:

aaron is adamant that people know he has REAL yeezys etc, going to far as to post pictures of his receipts to ward off accusations of fakeness:

like...ok

while me lyle denounces the trump endorsement (and even would go so far as to advise that you vote against him if you’re into that sort of thing), kyle n julie are of less extreme opinions, leading us to lament the banality of aaron.

anyway, aaron’s new lqqk:

also, the new tattoos, including a neck one and a new piano one. jfc

also, thanks to friend of the podcast sugar, who has been tattooed by the same person that gave aaron his louis vouitton tattoo, one shannon perry. thanks for the tip sugar! go get a tattoo by this person in order to technically become a blood sibling of aaron carter.

also, aaron describes the genre of music he makes as “edm-dub-trap.” 

QUIZ! whither this quote?

ANSWER! it’s walter benjamin in his seminal “the work of art in the age of its technological reproducibility”! (also translated as “the work of art in the age of mechanical reproduction”) read up here. the quote was posted by former classmate of kyle n lyle, one james m. shouts out to nyu performance studies class of ‘15.

magda is our quiz mistress for next time!

poetry corner. a robot reads the following instagram captions.

kyle rightly pointed out that god wrote this.

chanting corner! PLEASE chant along at home. and if there’s anything of aaron’s that you want us to chant, send it to us and we’ll literally chant it on-air no questions asked. :)

for the best aaron carter tweets, follow @pussytrust (me lyle)

remember to interact with us for any reason, at any cost!!!!

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