YOU SEE THESE MOTHER FUCKERS RIGHT HERE?
THEY ARE POOL NOODLES AND THEY ARE METAL AS FUCK
THEY COME IN ALL SHAPES AND COLORS
SOMETIMES EVEN PATTERNS
WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE YOU KNOW YOU WERE GANGSTER IF YOU HAD THESE
BITCHES DIVE INTO THE FUCKING POOL FOR ONE OF THESE
THEY FLOAT AND YOU CAN TRY INK THEM
BUT THESE BITCHES JUST POP BACK UP
IF YOU CAN’T SWIM IT’S IGHT THEY GOT YOU
THEY NEVER LET YOU DOWN
YOU COULD ALSO PLAY KNIGHT AND BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR FRIEND WITH IT
LIFE JACKETS?
FUCK THAT POOL NOODLES GOT ME
EVERY FUCKING COLOR.
YOU FRUITY AS HELL?
GET EVERY COLOR FOR THE FLAG AND WATCH THEM FLOAT.
YEAH THESE WERE MY HOMIES WHEN I WAS YOUNG AND WHEN I WALK DOWN THE AISLE THEY GONNA BE THERE IN FUCKING TUXEDOS AND GODDAMN THEY’RE GONNA BE MY BEST MEN.
MOTHER FUCKER I THINK YOU FORGOT THAT THESE FUCKIN’ NOODLES COULD BECOME A GODDAMN THRONE OF WATER. LOOK AT THAT BITCH SHE’S QUEEN OF THE GODDAMN POOL. NOBODY FUCKS WITH A NOODLE NOT EVEN ONCE, IF YOU WHERE RIDIN’ ONE OF THESE SICK ASS BITCHES YOU WHERE A MOTHERFUCKING TANK.
YOU INTO AMERICA? WELL DON’T WORRY THE NOODLES GOT ‘YAH. BACKIN YOU UP FUCKIN’ FREEDOM STYLE, THEY’LL KEEP YOU FREE AND STOP TERRIOST GODDAMNIT.
YOU WANNA RE=DO STAR WARS, WELL DON’T WORRY MOTHERFUCKER. THESE TIGHT ASS BITCHES GOT YAH LIKE A FUCKIN CULT.
OMFG I THINK I LOVE YOU. BUT YOU FORGOT ONE MORE THING:
YOU WANNA GO RULE ATLANTIS? IGHT MOTHER FUCKER, GET ON YOUR TRUNKS AND GRAB YOUR POWERADE BECAUSE BITCH WERE GONNA TAKE OVER KINGDOMS WITH THESE MOTHER FUCKERS.
WE DONT PLAY GAMES HERE, WE FUCKING START WARS.
WE’RE STARTING A GODDAMN ZOO MOTHERFUCKER.
LOOK AT THOSE LIL’SHITS, CUTE AS FUCK. DOWN RIGHT ADORABLE.
AND IF THAT AIN’T ENOUGH FOR YOU SICK BASTARDS. THEN LOOK AT THESE LIL’SHITS.
FUCKIN GLOW IN THE DARK IS WHERE IT’S AT YO, NEED TO SEE UNDER WATER AT NIGHT? MAYBE BECOME A SPY FOR ‘MURICA. WELL DON’T WORRY THESE BITCHES WILL YOU GET YOU INTO A FUCKING BASE IN NO TIME, SOMEBODY SEEN YOU? DON’T WORRY SLAP THAT MOTHERFUCKER OUT WITH A NOODLE.
IF YOU CANT FUCKING AFFORD TO MAKE A COSPLAY FOR GODDAMN OTAKON, THATS IGHT ; YOU CAN BE SPIDER MAN. MOTHER FUCKING UNWANTED SPIDER MAN.
LOOK AT THAT CRAFTSMANSHIP BITCHES. YOULL BE SURE TO WIN JUDGE’S CHOICE AND GODDAMN FIRST PLACE IN THE HALL CONTEST. YOU STRUT THOSE GODDAMN NOODLE LEGS, GURL. YOU STRUT THEM.
IN CHINA THEY KNOW THE WAY OF THE NOODLE.
I MEAN LOOK AT THIS SHIT, FUCKING DRAWING THAT’S WHAT. CHILLING WITH FRIENDS AND LOOKING LIKE SWAG TANKS WITH THEIR GODDAMN NOODLES.
SEE WE AIN’T GOT TIME FOR NO BULLSHIT RIPOFFS.
SO SIT DOWN, RELAX, AND BEAT A BITCH WITH A NOODLE YOU LIL’BEAST.
ALL YOU NEED ARE A MOUTH AND A NOODLE AND YOU’VE GOT A MOTHER FUCKING WATER CANNON
GET ONE LONG ENOUGH AND YOU CAN USE YOUR CANNON AS A THRONE WHILE YOU BLAST MOTHERFUCKERS AWAY
AND IF YOU WERE REALLY COOL
THESE WEREN’T JUST THE ABSOLUTE GODDAMN BEST WATER TOYS EVER
THEY WERE ALSO THE MOTHERFUCKING LEGO OF THE SEA
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