I Fought Piranhas

Transcendent in my tummy

I really want this bottle in my bathroom. I’d place it next to matching decorative soaps and towels as if it seems like it fits, but I’ll actually fill the thing up with ketchup. So when I have guests over and they decide to use the bathroom, they will see this bottle and have a moment of cognitive dissonance, “This [Soap Bottle] in the [Bathroom] is labelled [Ketchup], but surely it must dispense [Soap] instead of [Ketchup] despite the label saying [Ketchup] right?” and then let them have a moment of realization followed by abject horror as they pump viscous ketchup all over their hands instead of soap

@featheredcritter

growing up the rule was we were allowed to be openly disrespectful and rude to dad, but only if it was funny. if it flopped then we would have to endure a lecture about where we went wrong and what might have made it funnier. or, alternately, he would just say, "oh yeah? well i fucked your mom" which there aren't a lot of comebacks for.

what the frick