I am so very tired

you can't pin it down because he's literally acting exactly the same as usual and there's no reason to think there's anything wrong, but maybe he shifted in his seat one to many times, or he looked just a tad bit too bored during green lantern's case review, but something's just... odd. so you quietly ask superman after the meeting if anything's up with the bat bcs you know those two are closer and also clark can hear heartbeats so if something's wrong surely he'll pick it up? and without hesitation he leans over to you and mumbles 'yeah batman was busy, that's his 17 yr old son. he's a crime lord and kills people sometimes though so we're not allowed to let him into the weapons department.' and then walks away like it's normal.

like the whiplash the league must go through every time they realise that no, this is not their fearless dark and brooding leader, this is in fact one of his dipshit kids being forced to sub in bcs the real batman broke an ankle, is incredible.

wonder woman: so that's my proposed plan, what are your thoughts batman?

batman: hn. i think that- *voice raising two octaves* oh shit hold on my phones buzzing

the league:

batman, answering the phone and immediately dropping the Bat Posture™: what do you mean- aw come on little wing that's not fair! but- no, NO DON'T YOU DARE TELL ALFRED I'LL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU- IM SORRY OK I'LL BUY YOU MORE- *catches sight of the league watching him, baffled* *stiffens* ok listen i promise to replace them but i gotta go, please show me mercy iloveyoubye *hangs up*

the league:

batman:

batman: *coughs awkwardly*

superman: *sighs*

batman, to superman: ...red hood found out i ate his chocolate pretzels-

superman, shaking his head: just... just stop.

the flash: so this isn't batman either, is it?

wonder woman: if this one's also a criminal im losing my mind.

superman, tiredly: no no, this one isn't a criminal. this one's actually a cop.

batman: *sinks down in his seat* b's gonna kill me

green lantern, mystified: where does he keep GETTING you all from!?

'batman' dick, who made a pact with jason to Always Fuck With Bruce Whenever The Opportunity Arises: batman is a whore.

they think they've finally sussed out all 2 of batman's kids and then one day during a meeting 'batman' ends up on a 30 minute rant about different hacking methods this tech villain could be using that results in him half way through a sentence breaking off to say '-oh uncle clark could you pass me that pen- thanks, anyway so-' and then five minutes after that when the league have all been exchanging incredulous looks he finally freezes and is like. SHIT.

wonder woman: you're different from the other two, aren't you?

batman: maybe i am maybe i'm not, you can't prove it.

wonder woman:

green lantern: so like, are you new or have you just managed to avoid sub duty up until now?

superman, coughing: actually, this is this ones ninth occasion of replacing batman. you've just never realised before.

the league:

batman: yeah actually the other two are kinda mad i lasted longer than them...

the flash: how the fuck does he keep getting kids with the exact same build as him!??!?

'batman' tim, spent 20 minutes padding the suit out so he would look the part, still mad that bruce keeps palming WE work off on him: oh he forces us to take steroids for it.

the league, concerned:

superman, pinching the bridge of his nose: now come on red robin-

batman, fully tearing up and looking distraught: PLEASE uncle clark, it HURTS, you can't keep COVERING FOR HIM!

superman, frantically to the league: this one lies.

bonus

the league, squinting at batman:

the league: ...

superman: *head in his hands, too disappointed to do anything*

the league: *silently exchanging looks, wondering if anybody's brave enough to say anything*

"It would have been easier if you'd just said yes."

Rocking up to the funeral, we meet Wicander Halovar, supposedly a third level Cleric of his family's brand spanking new religion, The Candescent Creed. He's earnest. He's nervous. He's 5'11. He's already been boxed into a chair by Orc DILF Hal. He has a Wisdom of 10.

Wait.

That's right, our naive little Cleric apparently has a 10 Wisdom and an 18 Charisma.

As a Cleric.

The people, they doubt.

I know a lot of people are thinking Warlock, because of the Charisma. Plus the fact that Tyranny, his personal pet demon aspirant, is a Warlock.

But might I suggest a different path?

We know Wick cast Thaumaturgy (to amplify his voice and get Tyranny's attention). We also know that this Campaign is playing by 2024 rules.

Thaumaturgy was a Cleric spell, yes. But if you look it up on dndbeyond (dndbeyooooond!) now, it shows it as a Cleric spell in Legacy rules only. Now, it's a spell used by a brand new class: Illrigger.

What's an Illrigger? I'm so happy you asked.

Well, that's interesting. And definitely makes the whole demon-aspirant angle make a bit more sense, now doesn't it?

Even more interesting, is what scores our friends the Illriggers should take:

Wicander: Charisma, 18. Constitution and Dexterity, 15. So, how about that Architect of Ruin subclass?

For a young man who's never seen a dead body before? Yeah, I can see it.

Now, of course, new Campaign, who dis, they might choose someone other than Asmodeus. But assuming they loosely base it on him, there are a few interesting tidbits to keep in mind.

Like Lucifer, Asmodeus was once a Celestial who fell and became the ruler of the hells. (Lucifer, notably, was known as The Light Bringer). Another interesting fact?

Oh hey, look! It's our girl!

(Oh, something else that I found interesting but could also be nothing: Tyranny specifically mentions her forked tongue in her intro, and Illriggers have a special ability called Forked Tongue. Maybe a little [forked] tongue-in-cheek callout?)

Asmodeus also specializes in political intrigue (which House Halovar seems to be getting deeper and deeper into) and wants nothing more than those delicious, delicious souls (every soul who passes joins the light!) And his arch-nemesis in Exandria was the Changebringer which, let's be real, Sam would.

This concludes my TedTalk on why I believe that Sam Riegel, lying liar and little shit, is playing an Illrigger in Campaign 4, based almost entirely on his decision to cast Thaumaturgy and his WIS 10 CHA 18 scores.

Here are some of my favs:

Dracula (art by Renibet)

2.Jane Eyre (art by Ulunii)

3. Little women (art by чаки чаки)

4. The Idiot (the hedgehog-omg-) (art by Xinshi)

5. Pride and Prejudice (art by Cactusute)

6. War and Peace (art by Xinshi)

7. Wuthering Heights (art by Renibet)

8. The Great Gatsby (art by NIKEL)

9. Frankenstein (art by Iren Horrors)

10. Crime and Punishment (art by REDwood)

11. Anna Karenina (art by Ulunii)

12. The Cherry Orchard (art by lewisite)