here for vibes & vibrations

I am a huge fan of retiring to my quarters

In this economy you'll be lucky to retire to your nickels

the strongest bond is probably pad wings to themselves. the weakest is probably pad wings to your underwear

i support women's wrongs

cd has a hole. record has a hole. casette has 2 holes. streaming? zero holes. i think i’ve made my point

The ancient texts were true… They DO have a reaction image for everything…

random anecdote for father's day: one time during a long car ride my dad asked me, "you're familiar with Murphy's Law, right?" and i was like "isn't that the one about how anything that can go wrong will go wrong?" and he said "yeah, exactly" and i said "why do you ask?" and he went "well, have you heard of Cole's Law?" and i said "no, actually, what's that?" and he said "it's mostly lettuce and carrots with a little dressing mixed in"

Cabbage

can we free the nipple already i want to go out in baggy sweatpants and nothing else

I feel like i honestly look pretty good in gray sweatpants while topless. like it's just a cute look that lets me indulge my enjoyment of nudity without depriving me of pockets

just received the best text message I’ve ever had. from my mom