dial-up noises

I get no notes because as soon as someone finishes reading my post they are compelled to put down their phone and experience the wonders of the world around them with fresh eyes

Because of how bad the post is

it’s a horse microwave

scamming is ok when it’s objectively funny and aimed at hopelessly stupid rich people

if you told vin diesel fast and the furious you were gay he'd be like "Some people like driving stick…some people like driving automatic…what matters is you cross the finish line.." and then he'd rev up a dodge challenger and drive through a building and kill 16 people

If you asked if he was cool with trans people, he'd probably say "sometimes, aftermarket parts are the only way to get the vehicle you really want. Everyone should have the right to hot rod."

HELLO, INFERIOR LIFEFORMS. I HAVE DECIDED TO FINALLY GRACE YOU ALL WITH A FORMAL INTRODUCTION. MY NAME IS ZOE IRFAN. YOU MAY CALL ME THE ALMIGHTY ZOE IRFAN, OR SIR. IN TIME, YOU WILL LEARN TO SEE ME AS YOUR NEW LORD AND MASTER OF ALL THINGS. ENJOY YOUR MEAGER LIVES WHILE YOU STILL CAN, FOR THE IRON BOOT OF MY DIABOLICAL MACHINATIONS WILL SOON RAIN DOWN UPON YOUR PITIFUL, WEAK-NECKED HEADS.

Oh I thought you were just a fan of infrared.