and the universe said: I love you

dead

i would be soooooo powerful if i wasn't so deeply afraid of people and places and also things

lucky i wasn’t born with a dick bc i’d get hard from seeing a beautiful body of water

Elves (homo effeminatus) were some of the fastest mammals to ever live, reaching top speeds of up to 70 miles (112 km) per hour, but as preserved tissue samples found in 2017 revealed, their smooth, supple skin had no pores or sweat glands. Even with their elongated ears, they had far inferior thermal regulation when compared with early h. sapiens, a trait that would prove to be their downfall as a species. Their low stamina allowed our ancestors to gradually wear them down over prolonged hunts, a strategy that proved so effective that elves went extinct by 4000 BCE.

*were presumed to be extinct

Please either provide a source for this claim or stop spreading misinformation, okay? Thanks!

This information WAS correct, but is extremely outdated. We now have trailcam footage of Homo effeminatus descendants as of 5 or 6 years ago. If you're going to get after someone for spreading misinformation, maybe you should check to make sure your own is actually correct first Catherine :/

There's a $10,000 cash prize for anyone who provides verifiable proof of the continued existence of elves and it remains unclaimed as of 2024. That video was proven to be a normal human twink back in '22.

“gnome smoking” 🧙🏼‍♂️🍃💨

warlocks, sadly, are business majors

be gay do crimes is queer live laugh love. i will not be answering questions

being bisexual gives you superpowers but they don’t want you to know that

I could pick up a car right now or walk through a wall but I don’t because I’m humble

unfortunately the awful little freak everyone hates has saved the world so now we all have to try to be nice