I am as cruel as my mother, the sea.

"to endure!"

I thought it might be helpful to share this list of films available on YouTube for those who are interested. This will be updated as I find new films, but feel free to add to this list if you wish! 

(Also, you can follow me on Letterboxd if you want to talk about movies and keep up with what I’m watching.)

Close-Up (1990), Abbas Kiarostami

Ivan’s Childhood (1962), Andrei Tarkovsky

Andrei Rublev (1966), Andrei Tarkovsky

Solaris (1972), Andrei Tarkovsky

Mirror (1975), Andrei Tarkovsky

Stalker (1979), Andrei Tarkovsky

Nostalghia (1983), Andrei Tarkovsky

The Sacrifice (1986), Andrei Tarkovsky

Jeanne Dielman, 23, Quai du Commerce 1080 Bruxelles (1975), Chantal Arkerman

Without Memory (1996), Hirozaku Kore-eda

The Seventh Seal (1957), Ingmar Bergman

Wild Strawberries (1957), Ingmar Bergman

Shame (1968), Ingmar Bergman

Autumn Sonata (1978), Ingmar Bergman

A Woman Under the Influence (1974), John Cassavetes

The Act of Killing (2012), Joshua Oppenheimer

Camera Buff (1979), Krzysztof Kieślowski

No End (1985), Krzysztof Kieślowski

Blind Chance (1987), Krzysztof Kieślowski

A Short Film About Killing (1988), Krzysztof Kieślowski

A Short Film About Love (1988), Krzysztof Kieślowski

Poetry (2010), Lee Chang-dong

The Fire Within (1963), Louis Malle

La Ciénaga (2001), Lucrecia Martel

The Passenger (1975), Michelangelo Antonioni

F for Fake (1973), Orson Welles

Journey to Italy (1954), Roberto Rossellini

Ernest & Célestine (2012), Stéphane Aubier, Vincent Patar and Benjamin Renner

Children (1976), Terence Davies

The Long Day Closes (1992), Terence Davies

Badlands (1973), Terrence Malick

Bicycle Thieves (1948), Vittorio de Sica

Late Spring (1949), Yasujirō Ozu

The Flavor of Green Tea Over Rice (1952), Yasujirō Ozu

Tokyo Story (1953), Yasujirō Ozu

1. الْهَوَى (hawa) = Attraction The beginning of love. This love can arise suddenly, but is transient, not yet firm in the heart.

2. الْعَلاقَةُ (‘alaqah) = Attachment Love that becomes attached to the heart, and loses the transitory property of hawa.

3. الْكَلَفُ (kalaf) = Infatuation Love that begins to intensify and have a physical affect on the lover.

4. الْعِشْقُ (‘ishq) = Desire Love that engulfs the heart of the lover entirely, and takes it as its residence, such that love and the heart in which it resides become intimately familiar with one-another.
This love blinds the lover to any faults in the beloved.

5. الشّعَفُ / اللَّوْعَةُ / اللعَاج (sha’af, law’ah, li’aj) = Passion Love that starts to burn, but at this stage, the love is still pleasurable in the heart.

6. الشّغَفُ (shaghaf) = Affliction Destructive, all-consuming love. The heart begins to be devoured by the love.

7. اَلْجَوَى (jawaa)= Grief Love that started with the outer covering of the heart. It takes over the entire heart, and results in an inner grief and sorrow.

8. التّيْمُ (taym) = Enslavement Love to the point where the heart is enslaved to the beloved.

9. التَّبْل (tabl) = Malady Love, which was once living pleasurably in the heart, having made it its home, now turns against the heart, and so overwhelms, confounds and bewilders it, that it is as though it were its enemy.

10. التَّدْلِيْه (tadleeh) = Disorder Love when the heart is thus being destroyed from within, and begins to lose all sense of balance and reason, it goes into a state of chaos and disorder.

komorebi (japanese) sunlight filtering through trees

tsundoku (japanese) the act of buying a book and leaving it unread, often piled together with other unread books

dépaysement (french) the disorientation felt in a foreign country or culture, the sense of being a fish out of water

fernweh (german) a longing to travel, missing a place you’ve never been

hanyauku (rukwangali, namibia) to walk on tiptoes on hot sand

laotong (mandarin) a friendship bonding two girls together for eternity as kindred sisters

tidsoptimist (swedish) a person who is always late because they think they have more time than they do; a time optimist

culaccino (italian) the mark left on a table by a cold glass 

hiraeth (english) a home sickness for a home you can’t return to, or that never was

sobremesa (spanish) the time after lunch or dinner spent talking to the people you shared the meal with

mångata (swedish) the glimmering, roadlike reflection the moon creates on water

voorpret (dutch) pre-fun, the sense of enjoyment felt before a party or event takes place

limerence (english) the state of being infatuated with another person

meraki (greek) to do something with soul, creativity, or love; when you leave a piece of yourself in your work

mencolek (indonesian) the old trick where you tap someone lightly on the opposite shoulder from behind to fool them

petrichor (english) the smell after it rains

seigneur-terrasse (french) a person who spends much time but little money in a café

mamihlapinatapai (yaghan) you go first. no, you go first. the special look shared between two people when both are wishing that the other would do something that they both want to do

jayus (indonesian) a joke so poorly told and unfunny you can’t help but laugh

gigil (filipino) the overwhelming urge to squeeze or pinch something very cute

Different oils and how to use them

Common Oils

Argan Oil – good for everyone; high in Vit E, great for helping heal scars, eczema, and dry scalp. Oleic acid helps regulate sebum production, and linoleic acid promotes healthy skin turnover, which can be good for acne control.

Avocado Oil – intense hydration; lots of fats and fatty acids; may be too hydrating for certain skin types

Castor Oil – promotes hair growth

Chamomile Oil – Sensitive skin; soothes redness and irritation

Coconut Oil – very moisturizing; however it’s comedogenic so it works well for the body, but may not be good for the face (but if it works for you, go for it!)

Jojoba Oil – all skin types; mimics natural sebum so it’s a good balancer for all sin types

Rosehip Oil – skin discolouration & scarring; also good for helping combat environmental stressors like dry air and wind; improve skin elasticity, boost skin cell regeneration,

Tea Tree Oil – acne (but NEEDS to be diluted if you have 100% tea tree oil)

Grapeseed Oil – oily skin & acne; help regulate oil production while keeping skin moisturized; also has anti-aging & skin-brightening Vit C

Maracuja Oil – anti-inflammatory; brightening (has lots of Vit C); sun damage, discoloration, spots, and fine lines; also said to help with anxiety, insomnia and stress?

Marula Oil – irritated skin; v. soothing & hydrating; high in oleic acid; high in anti-oxidants;

Sweet Almond Oil – great for sensitive & dry skin

Less Common

Dilo Oil (found by Kate Sommerville); good for firming

Black Currant Oil – skin that needs repair; anti-inflammatory; even good for eczema

Camellia Oil – Lightweight hydration; absorbs quickly; great for sensitive skin

Pomegranate Oil ­– anti-inflammatory; reduces redness; brightens skin; packed with Vit A, D, E, & K; goof for combination skin

Hemp Seed – light moisture; good for dry, aging skin

Pumpkin Seed Oil – blemish prone skin

(follow me on spotify for more!)

persephone - queen of the underworld, goddess of spring

artemis - goddess of the hunt, the virgin moon goddess

aphrodite - goddess of love and beauty

poseidon - god of the seas

zeus - king of the gods, god of the skies

hephaestus - god of fire

hades - king of the dead, god of the underworld

hestia - goddess of the home and hearth

athena - goddess of wisdom

hera - queen of the gods, goddess of marriage and fertility

apollo - god of music and poetry, patron of the arts, chaser of the sun

demeter - goddess of the harvest

ares - god of war

hermes - the messenger god, patron of thieves

dionysus - god of wine and ritual madness

*bonus*

her lips tasted like pomegranates - if hades and persephone slowly falling into love with each other was an angsty indie movie this would be the soundtrack

maybe they loved each other once - are we even worth saving? (zeus + hera)

you’re like me - i thought i hated you, but i think it was because i saw myself in you. hating you is all i know how to do, even if i’ve been loving you this whole time. (athena + poseidon)

icarus - you never did know anything in moderation

storm goddess - you tremble before her, but its nothing compared to the way the earth trembles at her word.

glory. - the glory of gods never was meant for men