I Found Love When a Nun in Robes asked me to Dinner
Last night, I found love when a nun in robes asked me to dinner. Let me explain:
Yesterday I woke up from a twelve-hour slumber, feeling utterly, devastatingly, empty. The kind of deep emptiness where, even in your own bed, you don't know where you are in the world, and what your place in it is. It was frightening.
There's a place I go to in such moments to seek balance - I treat it as my local Mecca. A place of pilgrimage where I go - as I often joke to my dearest friends - to "manifest my dreams." My Mecca, ironically is a Buddhist monastery that rises above the wooded lands and countryside of Poolsville, Maryland - just beyond the outskirts of my hometown, Potomac. I found it accidentally one day, 10 years ago, while looking for open country roads to max out the speed of my car on. How very zen, I know. It was the dozens of prayer flags wafting their salutations in the wind that made me slam my breaks, and back up for a double take. I was perplexed. I was in awe. "What was this place?" Curious, I walked in.
Fast track ten years to yesterday, and I found myself there again. I usually walk in, slip into the back meditation room (the longest continually prayed-in/meditated room in the U.S.), and then slip out once I've achieved the balance I've come for. Sometimes I'm in there for twenty minutes, other times much, much longer. I don't really interact with anyone there beyond a smile to the welcoming monks. I do my thing, they do theirs, and we happily acknowledge each-other's presence.
Yesterday, about an hour into meditation, I felt a tap on my shoulder and I opened my eyes to the the warm gaze of a nun in crimson robes beaming a smile at me. "I would like to invite you to a dinner, once you are done meditating." I was surprised and amused. "It's Saturday night...and did a nun just ask me to dinner?" I laughed a little inside. I smiled back at her radiant face and genuinely thanked her for the invitation, having no intention of joining. I closed my eyes again, and returned inward, only to be tapped again a few moments later.
This time a different nun was bowing before me, holding a tray of delicious brownies, popcorn, and other non-Paleo goodies (yeah, I'm trying out Paleo). "Before I set this tray aside as an offering, I wanted to know if you'd like anything in here," she asked. I thanked her for her generosity, and declined. Having achieved that centered feeling - usually identified by a warm, fuzzy, delicious, smile invoking glow inside (for lack of better words) - my mission was accomplished, and it was time to head back into the city.
Outside the meditation room as I tied my shoe-laces, ready to jump into my car - I heard someone address me, "Hows business going?" I looked up, barely recognizing her. She was someone I had met when I first moved back to DC three years ago and talked to her about this new app project I was woking on. I had left a job, a relationship, and admission to a masters program that I'd always dreamed of being accepted into. Life was a little crazy then, hence I was there. Though I struggled to place her, she had remembered me clearly. "His holiness is about to join us for dinner" She said matter-of-factly "he's here from Bhutan, and you will be my guest."
It wasn't so much a question, as it was a directive. But it didn't matter, I live by a rule of three - if there's a recurrence of 3 similar signs, I move in that direction. This was the 3rd invitation to a meal that I wasn't going to refuse. Also, anyone who knows me will attest, I'm *kind of obsessed* with the Himalayan hermit Kingdom of Bhutan. If anything, she had me at Bhutan.
As I entered the dining room, there was a gathering of nuns in crimson robes in various ages from their late 80's to their 30's. Their faces reflected a global diaspora - Nepal, Burma, various corners of the US, Spain, Bhutan, among others. It was like being in a Benetton ad for monks. They placed their hands together at their hearts and bowed down in welcome. This greeting wasn't for me - I quickly scurried out of the way as broad-shouldered, tall monk in flowing robes walked in behind me, radiating happiness and bowing a warm greeting back to everyone in the room.
Sitting at the festive table was like being on a movie set where the camera spins from one face to the next capturing a glimpse of each to give a panoramic view of all the personalities at the table: An adorable southern nun in her 80's gushed as she told a story from the 50's about being captivated by watching wrestlers for the first time on a small black and white TV, one of the first of its kind; another reminisced about how her father developed, to her culinary dismay, a love of Spam after the War - since that's all he ate for rations while serving his country in foreign lands; a third picked on others at the table, and joked about what they had posted recently on Facebook and Instagram (yes, you heard me right, monks and nuns on FB and IG).
Though dignified and sitting tall in his center place at the table, the Bhutanese monk was a prankster. When a middle-aged Australian nun brought him some fruits and ice-cream for dessert, he shot a stern look at her and asked : "Did you wash your hands?"
To which the Australian nun answered, "but of course!"
He looked at her with serious intent, and pointing his finger at her demanded to know, "How many times?" There was a silent pause, which he ended abruptly with a thundering fit of laughter. "I love teasing her. Australians. So serious all the time!"
This table had the unmistakable energy of love flowing through it. This was love in motion. And fortunately (and serendipitously) I was right in the midst of it, basking it in as one takes in the sun's glow after a long winter.
As the night came to a close, the Bhutanese asked me about my family, my parents, and went on to tell me of all the great and venerated scholars of Bengal that helped shape Buddhism through the ages. The western nuns beside him told me about Dipu Ma, a Bengali nun whom they greatly respected and took inspiration from. I wondered, how many in my own motherland know of the good will and inspiration that these Buddhist Bengalis - ancient and contemporary - continue to bring thousands of miles away from Bengal, to the monasteries hidden away in the woods of rural America.
I thanked them for the nourishment. Not just for the food, but for my soul.
I left home that day with a feeling of emptiness. As I got into my car, I set an intention, to hone in like GPS on a sense of fulfillment and love. It was an unlikely setting where I eventually found it, but it goes to show the power of an intention - set with earnestness, can lead one down unexpected, yet rewarding paths. In this case, I found love when a Buddhist nun asked me to dinner.




















