50 Fuzz Dates

When a Personal Trainer slides in the DM’s and offers traininf in return for my filming skills.

DROP ME OUT.

Got a DM from a guy (stalker) who saw me at the Tate Modern at the weekend.

Guy: Where are you from?

Me: What do you mean?

Guy: Are you English?

Me: Yes

Guy: You have hair like that and you’re English?!

Sure, why not. Bye.

I was minding my own business, listening to a bit of Skepta and Lethal B while pondering in the fruit and veg aisle holding my chosen dinner ingredients of sea bass, spinach and green beans when I get approached by a tall man using crutches. Took my headphones out in case he needed help with something. Him: Did you used to work at Croydon college? Me: *shaking my head* Er nope not me sorry Him: Oh you look like Lorna who used to work there, ground floor. No? Me: Nope not me. Him: Your sister maybe? Me: No sorry. Him: You look so alike. And she had eyes like you. 😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑 Me: Oh right. Him: My name is blah blah by the way, nice to meet you. *puts his hand out to do a fake hand shake but I’m holding all the food*

A young couple are now with us in the fruit and veg aisle and they overhear the conversation and I want the floor to swallow me up. I even contemplate just walking away mid conversation because I am so embarrassed.

He asks me if I’d like to grab a coffee.

I say I can’t I have a boyfriend.

He then asks, you ready for this…

“DO YOU LIVE TOGETHER?”

WHY WOULD YOU EVEN ASK THIS. Furthermore why is it any of your business if I live with my imaginary boyfriend or not?

Felt so uncomfortable. Anyway, the conversation ended there and he swung his legs away on his crutches OUT OF SAINSBURY’S.

Paid for my sea bass and veg, walked out the store and he was outside, waiting for me.

Him: Do you like tea? Me: Do I like tea? Him: Yes thought we could grab some tea, just as friends. Me: I can’t sorry.

Was asked out for a drink for the 1st time via Instagram DM last week. We have mutual friends so thought he must be a good guy, I was bored and needed a drinking partner so went with it.

He said he had a birthday thing to go to at 6pm so we meet at 4pm which was perfect for me as it meant we could have a quick couple drinks and go our separate ways.

He lives 4 hours away from London due to a career move, which is cool, I’ve been in a long distance relationship where my boyfriend lived in LA so its doable. Hard. But doable. However, I wouldn’t recommend it.

He seemed cool, easy to chat to, good job etc. Very posh, made me speak wellllllllllll good too.

He brought up his ex twice in the 2 hours we were together. I didn’t even ask about past relationships, because I didn’t really care. *Warning sign 1/Alarm bells/flashing lights*

And they only broke up last year. *Warning sign 2/Alarm bells/flashing lights*

They were also together for 8 years.

8 YEARS *Warning sign 3/Alarm bells/flashing lights*

I made sure he got to the party on time as all I could think about was getting home, into my PJ’s and curling up on the sofa with a good movie.

He did the usual spiel, “I had a great time, would be nice to see you again.”

Me: “yeah cool, take care, enjoy the party, bye)

AWKS.

He sent me a message the day after we went for a drink and it had no context, nothing for me to really reply to so I just left it. There wasn’t a spark I’m not in the right headspace at the mo to be dating and I don’t wanna waste his or my time.

Anyway, he comes back to London every weekend and my predictions that I’d only hear from him towards the end of the week was CORRECT. Shocker.

Fast Forward to 4 DAYS LATER. He messages me asking how my week was and comments on an Instagram story I posted 4 DAYS AGO.

Where is the consistency? Where is the drive?

Is this the game guys play now? I can’t actually keep up.

Am I supposed to respond. Do I want to respond? Not particularly. I’d rather plan out what I’m having for breakfast, lunch and dinner for the next few days.

Met a guy 3 months ago and he still hasn't asked me out for dinner.

I’m speed walking through a graveyard, late for a meeting. I’m flustered, tired and can’t wait for the day to be over when suddenly a male approaches me with a light jog. I take my left headphone out, Him: Hi, what’s your name? Me: Sara (my face is full of confusion) Him: How old are you?

Oh here we go.

Me: 31 Him: Ok it was nice to meet you.

Its 9:30pm on a Monday night. I’m tired, I’m hungry and can’t wait to get home. I get off the bus and start walking home, calling a friend on my way to keep me company. Soon after, I hear a car pull up down a road on my right and the driver yells “Yo, wait there I’m coming back!” and then speeds off down a side road.

“Not again.” I mutter.

Now, I don’t know about you but if someone is going to “Yo” me, its going to be a close friend, someone I care about, someone who cares about me, NOT a stranger, in a car shouting at me down the road at night or any time for that matter.

I carry on walking but I pick up pace towards my house. I carry on talking to my friend and explain what just happened who says he will stay on the phone until I get in. I hear a car driving quite fast on my right and erratically pulls in to a space to park up.

“Yo, whats going on?!”

Again, I carry on walking and talking to my friend asking,

“Should I go to my house or carry on walking down the road?”

“Carry on walking” he says.

Looking over my shoulder I see the driver of the car has got out of the car, is still yelling at me to stop so he can talk to me. I carry on walking, pretending I haven’t heard him.

I walk past about 5 more houses, look over my shoulder again and I can’t see him so I assume he has given up so I turn back around and start walking towards my house.

Out of nowhere he pulls up alongside me saying, “I was talking to you, why didn’t you stop?”

“I’m on the phone.” I carry on walking and he drives off.

I don’t get shaken up very easily and I have dealt with this type on numerous occasions but this time it was different. I felt vulnerable because of the way he was driving, yelling and acting towards me.

So a message to all of you thinking that driving slowly alongside a female who is walking alone down the street. Its not ok. to you guys out there who think it’s ok to yell at a female who is walking alone down the street. Its not ok. To anyone who thinks this method of speaking to a female is going to work. It won’t.

Treat us with respect and who knows who you will meet.

Met a guy on a night out (never going to meet my husband on a night out). We swapped numbers and he started messaging me the next day...

And thats all he does. Whats apps me. Sometimes there are 2 week gaps between messages!

At one point in our conversation I told him how busy I was going to be at work for the next couple of months and he said

“Oh, thats a shame I was going to ask if you wanted to go for a drink.”

So he waited until I said how busy I was going to be before even mentioning going out for a drink. MAN THA HELL UP!

He messaged me the other day (2 weeks after the last message) asking how I was. I haven't replied yet. Might wait for 3 weeks till I reply and see how he likes it.

What is this? What am I attracting? What am I doing wrong here?

Someone please help me answer these questions.