pussy shit

one time my parents had an argument because my dad bought a bald cap for $2.70 but he was already bald

hey people who know astrology shit. ive been having a lot of feeligs lately. any planets i can blame that on.

I’m sorry, but the confusion of why your bathroom doesn’t have a door far outweighs any feelings of horror this might evoke.

can’t afford door.. the horror here is the realities of life

So what fuck was your wife knocking on

this dick

It’s not even 4 words???

The bourgeoisie

as a millennial who doesn’t like avocado old man politicians owe me collectively $500,000

the two responses to this are “I hate avocado and I don’t understand the hype” and “I love avocado but those fuckers owe me money anyway” and you know what? you’re all valid

the moon controlling the tides sounds like something out of a fantasy novel and yet…there she is…doing That…every day…

Get your ass on the dance floor

this is already on my blog like five times and i honestly don’t even care

i’m sending love to u all ur gonna be ok

WHAAATTT THEEEE FUUUUCCKKKKKK??????????

I love it!

holy shit

Wow - love or loathe tattoos, this is some serious talent!

Oh my fuuuuck.

a 7 year old that i have met 2 times just came out of her room and sat next to me on the couch and without saying hello she said “if you didn’t want to die, then why were you born?” and her mom said “PLEASE, Mackenzie. go upstairs” and she crossed her legs and said “no, mom. i want to hear what she has to say” ???

Her mom also told me that she “does this all the time”