Little Dark Horse

I watched this because I like Nick Frost. However, this is one of - no, the most forgettable role he’s ever played in. Sure, I now realise he has some talent on the dance floor. I just miss his bumbling, bad-arse character from the Cornetto series. Oh by the way, where the fuck is Simon Pegg?!

Oh, there he is. 

That was the only time I laughed out loud. He totally matches my reaction to this film, which makes it the only highlight. It’s the look of: Why is Nick doing a salsa martial arts showdown in the bloody car park?! How the hell does Dickhead know how to dance like a fucking ballerina?! And what the fuck is Nick doing in this shitty film?

The film is categorised as a comedy, right? Well it couldn’t be bothered to be funny at all. For once, Nick didn’t crack a joke in this film. He only made slapstick humour, which is extremely pathetic. Ian McShane helped the film by slapping Nick around, but he keeps drifting in and out of the film, which disappoints me. 

The gay salsa dancer is really annoying with his “serious” jokes and camp accent. He is suppose to improve Nick’s appearance and confidence but he does this in a forceful and patronising manner, which is not funny at all. If the guy forces me to put on fake tan like he does in the film, I’ll kick him out of my house. He doesn’t annoy me as much as the next character though.

The antagonist Dickhead Drew is punch-in-the-face annoying, not because he bullies Nick’s character, but because his dickhead-ness is so over the top. Even a teenage jerk could not be that extreme. Do you call a middle-aged man, who bullshits himself and openly downgrades rivals just to score with a woman, a realistic portrayal of even the most downright twats? Not really, but even so, the woman he wants to fuck is completely clueless about his obvious intentions. How the hell does she like him in the first place?! Nick, there is no point going after that girl if she can’t even identify a dickhead.

The storyline is solid, but maybe it should have been cut down to a short film instead of a feature. There’s too many uninteresting chit-chat scenes and it doesn’t have to have so many side characters. Seriously, what is the point of having Nick’s beer buddies and that sour colleague girl in the film? OK, one of Nick’s beer buddies is kinda important to the story, but the other one (I realise he’s Black Walder from ‘Game of Thrones’) does fucking nothing at all. 

I can imagine this story as a Pixar animated short film. The message behind it is decent enough. The idea of ignoring judgemental people and going for your true passions is more universal than the film makes out to be. ‘Cuban Fury’ tries to be more adult with the swear words and innuendo, yet the idea of a fat man wanting to do salsa looks more entertaining to a younger audience. We adults already accept the idea of people of different sizes and backgrounds having the most unlikely of passions. Children are less sure, which is why this film could be good for them.

In summary, 'Cuban Fury’ has a decent but recycled storyline with a disappointing lack of comedy.

I had no idea this was released last year. And I only just heard the rumours of ‘When Marnie Was There’ possibly being the last film from Studio Ghibli. I refuse to believe that!

The remaining screenings at my chosen cinema had the subbed version of the film and I am happy to choose that. I usually watch the Ghibli films with subs - I don’t want to forget that I’m half Japanese. The only film that I prefer to watch in English is ‘Princess Mononoke’, mainly because the mother wolf has a male voice in the Japanese version, which creeps me out a bit.

The stunning animation and tear-jerking (almost) music in ‘When Marnie Was There’ is almost enough to call it perfect. I love its mysterious atmosphere and its well-fleshed out characters. It has a very deep message about friendship and confidence, which really inspires me as a writer/filmmaker. Really, I wish there are more films with these universal messages. Studio Ghibli always does this right!

The one small issue I have with this film is a personal one. 'When Marnie Was There’ is the third Ghibli film I’ve seen that is based on a British novel. While it’s adapted from a book of the same title, it’s also very similar to another British novel: my novel.

To show how similar my novel ‘13′ is to ‘Marnie’, I’ll tell you what '13′ is about, without giving spoilers to either the book or the film. The ticks show that ‘Marnie’ has the same sort of thing:

Hanna, the main character, is an introverted girl [√] who has just moved to London from Winchester [new area √] and has problems in making friends [√] and dealing with her parents’ separation [family problems √]. She meets a mysterious girl [√] who is actually a friend from her old life in Winchester [Anna and Marnie have a familiar connection but that will spoil the story if I tell you]. This girl Lilli is the opposite of Hanna - outgoing and daring [√] - and she helps Hanna gain her confidence [the process is far more extreme but it’s still similar √]. Meanwhile, Hanna finds out Lilli has a “wound” that needs healing [√] and in returns sets out to reunite Lilli’s estranged parents [Anna helps Marnie in a less active way].

Even the big twist in the film is very similar to my novel’s. If you have already seen ‘When Marnie Was There’, then I’m pretty sure you can guess my twist.

Anyway, I won’t carry on promoting my novel, but I can’t review ‘Marnie’ without thinking about it. If I have never written ‘13′, my views on ‘Marnie’ will be totally different. I won’t say my novel is better than ‘Marnie’, but I found the film’s storyline to be softer and more sentimental than I anticipated. It doesn’t make the film boring to me. I just wished it could give me a sort of punch. That’s what you get for watching ‘Game of Thrones’, you always expect the worse to happen.

The mysterious atmosphere is wonderful and I like solving the story’s puzzle. However, until I finally discovered the twist, the scenes were a bit too puzzling for me. When the characters’ actions get too confusing, I start to lose sympathy for them. A good thing that the twist existed.

This is probably just me, but I get a little bit put off when they overdo the hugging and crying and “I love you” scenes. Hey, hey, don’t call me a heartless bitch! I love an occasional sentimental scene. With the storyline already being so soft with emotional conflict, it just gets too sweet for me when they overdo the endearments and the “You’re my best friend” phrases. I believe actions speak louder than words.

So far I’ve seen 16 Ghibli films. I’ll rate ‘When Marnie Was There’ 9th on my list. Comparing a list of Ghibli films is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I do hope Studio Ghibli makes more films like these. If they don’t, I’ll start writing some scripts for them to work on. I’m not going to make a promise on that. XD