What Even Is My Party

So, this is still about 3 months late, and the campaign is ended at this point. The group was the same as the Kleos Guild campaign with one new member. So, there was me (previously Alexander) playing a lizardfolk tempest cleric named Kifel, Dom (previously Bec) a tiefling paladin, Roc (previously Gixa) a kenku rogue, and our new player (who also plays Naivara in the dusklands campaign) Nyxie the (secretly) tiefling druid.  Tragically this was the last session in the campaign and included the DM’s mandated flashback episode.  That said, we’ll have another campaign this coming semester so stay tuned.

DM: “You are home.” Kifel (OOC) *in a quiet voice*: “yay”

DM: “You are coming at it with a sharp object and the deer runs away.” Kifel (OOC): “And Kifel feels righteous”

Kifel (OOC): “Yay, I love wisdom checks. *rolls dice* Unless I roll a nat 1.”

Kifel (OOC): “I pick it up & eat it. Well, bite it really.”

DM: “I guess your adoptive mother was wandering the forest looking for..freakin’ mushrooms..”

Dom: “We all have the roc”

Roc (OOC): “Roc is gonna put the antlers away since that was apparently not the right answer.”

DM *as NPC*: “I don’t know if I’m insulted or impressed.”

Roc (OOC): “Roc turns to the strongest person he knows.” *turns to look at Kifel’s player* Kifel (OOC): “Ooo sick burn.”

Kifel?: “I don’t need to be strong, I just need to be right.” Dom: ”18 armor class”

Roc: “Roc is Star Lord!”, Kifel: “Wait, does that make me Gamora?” Dom *to Nixie*: “That makes me Drax and you Groot!”

Dom *to the big bad*: “If we were nothing than you wouldn’t have said anything in the first place.”

DM: “No! Don’t wreck this beautiful narrative [Kifel].”

Roc: “So, does this mean we pass all of our classes?” Everyone laughs Dom: “Seriously though.”

Kifel makes sure “there’s nothing in there that’s gonna shank [Roc] in the kidney” Dom: “Just eat your spleen”

Dom (OOC): “The essence of your relationship. [Roc]’s yeet, and [Kifel]’s yoink.”

So, this is still about 3 months late, and the campaign is ended at this point. The group was the same as the Kleos Guild campaign with one new member. So, there was me (previously Alexander) playing a lizardfolk tempest cleric named Kifel, Dom (previously Bec) a tiefling paladin, Roc (previously Gixa) a kenku rogue, and our new player (who also plays Naivara in the dusklands campaign) Nyxie the (secretly) tiefling druid.

DM (as Dianna, NPC): “Well, hey ther!” Roc *in the same voice*: “Well, hey ther!” Dianna: “Hey! I like yer accent!” Roc *in same voice*: “Why thank ye!” Dianna: “Can you help me find ma spoons?”

Kifel (OOC): “I wanna jog her medicine.”

Kifel (OOC): “I’m gonna ‘tie my shoe’. Even though I don’t wear any.”

Kifel *to Nixie*: “Stop being sketchy.”

Kifel *to a police officer*: “I would like to ask for bulldozer. Or ample amounts of molotov cocktail.”

Roc (OOC): “He’s still got that in his pants.”

Nixie (OOC): “You had that in your pants?” Roc (OOC): “You knew this!

Kifel: “Supposedly monster comes through doomsday device, I would like to go through the portal and perhaps learn how to kill the entity, because fuck it.”

Nixie: “Wait, how do you know I’ve been exploring?” Kifel *@same time as Roc*: “You walk loud.” Roc: “Ya ain’t quiet.”

Roc: “We found a tree elevator.” Dom: “Televator.”

DM: “...Cam is floating away like a lost balloon.”

Kifel (OOC): “Kifel has a 30’ swim speed. What do you think that translates to when swimming through the air?”

DM: “As you grab her tail and pull her towards you she-” Kifel (OOC): “She drops her tail like a newt.”

Roc (OOC): “I open the box & think ‘I’ve stolen stuff like these before!’ & I can feel Dom’s judgemental glare from here like ‘I feel a disturbance in the Force.”

Kifel: “Grab tail & I will pull you to wall.”

Roc: “I can finally fly!”

Roc (OOC): “If you drop an alligator into a wind tunnel, will it try to swim?”

Roc (OOC): “He holds out his wings so he feels like he’s actually flying.” DM: “Okay, I’m not gonna make you roll for that cuz it’s too adorable.”

Roc (OOC): “Roc uses a foghorn sound instead of a cannon cause he doesn’t want to scare Danny.”

Kifel: “Yup, those are numbers.”

Nixie (OOC): “Did you take this from Gravity Falls?” DM & Roc (OOC): “You’re just now figuring this out?!”

Kifel: “You mean the club of people who don’t know what’s going on?”

Roc (OOC) *about the doomsday device*: “Is there a plug?” DM: “A plug? Like, just unplug the charger for my DS?! A plug?”

Roc: “I don’t know what this does!” Kifel: “We have nothing to lose.” Roc: “It might kill us slower than this thing.”

Kifel (OOC): “Angrily spinning.”

Sorry, this is about 3 months late, but I’ve got much less stuff to catch up on, but just as a reminder, a friend has been running a GURPS campaign set in the transformers universe on Cybertron during the war for Cybertron. There’s three members of the game, Blacktip, called Blip, an ex Decepticon jet (me), Riplash, a motorcycle weapons developer, and Domino a femme weaponizer minicon.

Domino is currently trapped in the decagon and so her player has taken over various NPC’s for now

Session 11

Riplash: I guess you could say he KNEE-ded that medical attention

DM: Psychic slap to the brain

DM: Do either of you know who omega supreme is Riplash: sure, that’s what I order when I go to taco bell

Session 12

Spittor (DM): Clearly you didn’t learn your lesson from last time Riplash: And clearly you have not solved your eating disorder since then

Riplash: do transformers have a concept of dabbing because RIPLASH IS DOING THAT RIGHT NOW

Blacktip: are you using me as cover? Riplash: Would I do that? Blacktip and GM in sync: YES!

Riplash (OOC): Riplash has just developed death anxiety

Domino: I’m going to keep wailing on her until she changes her mind or stops being ugly

DM: He tosses a grenade at you Blacktip: I’m going to try to swat it aside, because dammit I’m an American *promptly misses the roll*

Sorry, this is about 4 months late, and I’ve got tons of stuff to catch up on, but just as a reminder, a friend has been running a GURPS campaign set in the transformers universe on Cybertron during the war for Cybertron. There’s three members of the game, Blacktip, called Blip, an ex Decepticon jet (me), Riplash, a motorcycle weapons developer, and Domino a femme weaponizer minicon.

We killed Starscream in the last session, and it was fantastic, but now the base is damaged.  I think there’s something shady going on with Domino as she doesn’t join us for the next few missions (her player plays as different transformers on loan from Autobot command)

-Session 9-

Riplash: Domino is working as slave labor to repair the decagon

Riplash: which came first, the chicken or the shock absorbers

Riplash: I’m so used to ignoring what blacktip says, now I have to ignore what jazz says

Riplash: oh jazz, can I be your apprentice, will you teach me the ways of jazz?Blacktip: something, something, feel the rhythm

Riplash: Ah, yes, the ancient and powerful concept of the mystical warehouse

Riplash: It seems like a good time to pray: our riplash, who art in weapons…

-Session 10-

Domino (OOC): “You’re talking like you were drunk and don’t remember this” DM: “To be fair, it was two weeks ago” Riplash (OOC): “I have the memory of a goldfish” Domino (OOC): “a more evolved goldfish” Riplash (OOC): “we’re all more evolved goldfish”

Blacktip (OOC): “To be fair, I have two puppies licking my kneecaps”

Blacktip (OOC): “So it’s got the whir of the engines, but not yet the choopa choopa of the nonsense”

Riplash: “riplash saves the day that's today's episode AND EVERY EPISODE” Blacktip: “except most of them” Riplash: “you can say whatever you want. I don't care, you're not even a BLIP on my radar” Domino: “Alpha Trion is writing this down” Blacktip: “ If I were your acting superior officer, I would RIP you a new one and give you a LASHing” Riplash: “If I were my acting superior officer, I would high five myself” Blacktip: “It’s a good thing that you’ll never achieve any sort of rank then”

Riplash (OOC): “Riplash know good talk word speak”

Talking about clusterbombing an enemy in melee with blacktip Riplash: “The term is ‘acceptable casualties’” Blacktip: “I hate it, but I agree with Riplash”

Blacktip: “Mistakes were made by blacktip” Riplash: “Maybe we should start a book about blacktip’s mistakes” Blacktip: “Except I have literally never claimed to have never made a mistake in my life” Riplash: “That’s your first mistake”

Blacktip: “He only has to duck; he wouldn’t have to crawl.  I could crawl between my legs”

Blacktip: “I’m just going to shoot myself in the face with my energon repair ray.”

So, this is still about 5 months late, and the campaign is ended at this point. The group was the same as the Kleos Guild campaign with one new member. So, there was me (previously Alexander) playing a lizardfolk tempest cleric named Kifel, Dom (previously Bec) a tiefling paladin, Roc (previously Gixa) a kenku rogue, and our new player (who also plays Naivara in the dusklands campaign) Nyxie the (secretly) tiefling druid.

For extra fun context stuff, we wound up finding a cave system with mine carts.  Only Dom recognizes mine carts and informs us how they work.  We’re tied for strength, but she has darkvision, while I do not so I’m in the back operating the pump cart, Roc is in the middle, and “Team Tiefling” is in the front. Kifel still has a badly done Russian accent (not completely my fault)

Kifel: “Class is over, you might want to… I do not know what you do”

Kifel (OOC): Lala lala, lala lala, Kifel’s world DM: You basically have the cymbal monkey in your brain. No, wait, it’s an alligator

Roc *throws thing at back of kifel’s head* Kifel: *hands it back* “You dropped this”

DM: It feels like a welcome cool, unless you’re a lizard Kifel: *finger guns*

Roc (OOC): “Roc the pirate found a rock that is pyrite”

Dom: “We think Diana wrote the journal” Kifel: “Certainly neuroses enough”

Roc: “How do we stop” Kifel: “I pump backwards” Dom: “That’s not how that works” DM: “As you say that, you start moving”

DM: “You press that brake, and like its name, it breaks”

Kifel: “I’m trying to stop so that I can backtrack and find my gorram bird”

DM (OOC): “Knifelight, it’s like a nightlight”

Sorry, this is about 5 months late, and I’ve got tons of stuff to catch up on, but just as a reminder, a friend has been running a GURPS campaign set in the transformers universe on Cybertron during the war for Cybertron. There’s three members of the game, Blacktip, called Blip, an ex Decepticon jet (me), Riplash, a motorcycle weapons developer, and Domino a femme weaponizer minicon.

Riplash: I suppose that weapons are simply a very specific form of communication

Riplash: anyone here could be the spy, I especially don’t trust that red and blue guy

Domino: you mean the most paladiny paladin ever to paladin

Riplash: exactly, he’s too good, there’s no way he isn’t evil

Blacktip: say that again, but slowly

Riplash: hey, boss, would you mind never telling anyone about that

Blacktip: don’t worry, your secret is safe with me and the rest of the wreckers

Riplash: it’s queso

Blacktip: do not eat the forbidden queso

Domino: Riplash, you’re such a disappointment

Riplash: I didn’t realize you still had expectations for me to fall short

So, this is still about 5 months late, and the campaign is ended at this point. The group was the same as the Kleos Guild campaign with one new member. So, there was me (previously Alexander) playing a lizardfolk tempest cleric named Kifel, Dom (previously Bec) a tiefling paladin, Roc (previously Gixa) a kenku rogue, and our new player (who also plays Naivara in the dusklands campaign) Nyxie the (secretly) tiefling druid.

Kifel: “Strangleholds are good at putting to sleep”

Dom: “NO!”

Kifel (OOC): “do we all have tails?”

DM: “yeah”

Roc (OOC): “we’re the tail party”

Kifel (OOC): “allow me to tell you a TAIL”

Dom: “Don’t worry, I’ll be there for you”

Kifel (OOC): “🎵when the rain starts to fall🎵”

Kifel: “I will look for book on history of elemental plane of water” NAT 1

DM: “You find a book on the elemental plane of fire”

Kifel: “the worst part is that they’re both elemental planes, so they’re probably right next to each other. Someone just bound all of the books on the elemental plane of fire in blue, like some kind of ASSHOLE”

Roc: “You get halfway through the book before you go ‘wait, this isn’t about the elemental plane of water’”

Dom: “I definitely don’t trust you”

Kifel: “Have never even recommended eating your fingers”

Nixie: “sorry, it was instincts”

Kifel: “What sort of instincts cause you to throw self off of cliff, are you lemming”

Kifel: “Is duty to make sure that you survive outside, is your duty to make sure that I survive in classroom”

Sorry, this is about 5 months late, and I’ve got tons of stuff to catch up on, but just as a reminder, a friend has been running a GURPS campaign set in the transformers universe on Cybertron during the war for Cybertron. There’s three members of the game, Blacktip, called Blip, an ex Decepticon jet (me), Riplash, a motorcycle weapons developer, and Domino a femme weaponizer minicon.

Blacktip: they’re both cryptic but where Yoketron is cryptic for the sake of teaching you a lesson, Alpha Trion enjoys being cryptic

Blacktip: Because I hate myself, and by extension, the rest of you

Riplash: come on, this is a collectors item, do you know how much this would go for on cyber ebay

Riplash: hey, Riot, pull my legs GM: I’m pretty sure that would remove most of your leverage Domino: I’m pretty sure that would remove most of your legs

Riplash: everyone likes me, I’m Riplash Blacktip: I don’t like you Domino: I’m going to have to side with Blip on this one

Riplash: If there’s one thing you can trust me with, it’s an extremely deadly weapon Blacktip: I don’t think that’s true

Blacktip: I usher my dysfunctional squadron into the dojo Domino: you mean your children Riplash: you’re not my real dad Blacktip: worse, I’m your commanding officer

So, this is still about 5 months late, and the campaign is ended at this point. The group was the same as the Kleos Guild campaign with one new member. So, there was me (previously Alexander) playing a lizardfolk tempest cleric named Kifel, Dom (previously Bec) a trifling paladin, Roc (previously Gixa) a kenku rogue, and our new player (who also plays Naivara in the dusklands campaign) Nyxie the (secretly) tiefling druid.

Kifel (OOC): Kifel’s an asshole, not an asshole

Roc: darn it, ads DM: Kifel just opens his mouth and an ad comes out Kifel: “If you or a loved one has been diagnosed with mesothelioma, you may be entitled to financial compensation”

Kifel: I cast light on the bush so now it is glowing DM: what color Kifel: Blue… no green… no AHHHhhhhhh! Roc: how about something not natural so that it’s obvious  Kifel: fine, red, like an angry red Dom: great, you made the burning bush DM: well, he Is a cleric Roc: you ARE NOT THE DM

DM (as owlish NPC): “...we help out the people who traverse the idlewild” Kifel (OOC): “WHO traverse the idlewild?” DM: ?? Kifel: “who... she’s an owl”

Following discussion of how the lizardfolk and kenku will eat soup.  DM offers a straw, and Kifel recommends snorting it.   Kifel (OOC): Kifel does hard core drugs, like soup… and soup

Roc: if they’re shooting at you, they’re bad Kifel (OOC): shooty shooty bang bang equals bad

DM as geology professor: what do you know about rocks Dom: we’ve already got a rock (pointing at Roc) DM: I might have to give you an A just for that

DM: There’s probably a bass pro shop in town

Sorry, this is about 5 months late, and I’ve got tons of stuff to catch up on, but just a reminder, a friend has been running a GURPS campaign set int the transformers universe on Cybertron during the war for cybertron. There’s three members of the game, Blacktip, called Blip, an ex Decepticon jet, Riplash, a motorcycle weapons developer, and Domino a femme weaponizer minicon.

Riplash (OOC): get ready to watch Teansformers: middle school debate club edition

Domino (OOC): boy’s been rehearsing this for a while

Domino (OOC): quiet in the peanut gallery

Riplash (OOC): I’M NO PEANUT. CYBERTRON DOESN’T EVEN HAVE THOSE. WHAT’S A PEANUT?

Domino (OOC): then you’re a CYBER PEANUT! They’re filled with solid energon and they are an amazing snack.

GM (OOC): the entire battlefield is covered in holes

Blacktip (OOC): I feel like there was a book about this

GM (OOC): Riplash, it’s your turn

Riplash (OOC): how far does I move?

So, this is about 5 months late, and the campaign is ended at this point. The group was the same as the Klein’s Guild campaign with one new member. So, there was me (previously Alexander) playing a lizardfolk tempest cleric named Kifel, Dom (previously Bec) a trifling paladin, Roc (previously Gixa) a kenku rogue, and our new player (who also plays Naivara in the dusklands campaign) Nyxie the (secretly) tiefling druid.

DM: each section has a landmark, like a rock or river.

Kifel: *points at Roc’s player*

DM: that’ll be the first of many of those jokes

There’s a meeting running overtime

Roc: makes ticking noise

Kifel: boat is like bowl, but instead of holding liquid in, holds water out

Kifel (OOC) to Roc: are you a one man flash mob?

Kifel to Roc: you need not be faster than bear, you need only be faster than party members

Dom: No, that’s not how we operate

Kifel: fine, then need only be faster than other parties

Dom: NO!

DM: which of you has the map?

Kifel: the map addict

DM: the maddict!

After seeing a jackelope

Kifel: 🎵have you heard of the north American cryptud🎵

As Dom and Nyxie follow the Jackelope

Roc (OOC) to Kifel: we’re going to lose our party