VERITAS

Woke up at 7am as usual and went to the library at around 9am, stayed until 1:30 pm and then came back home to have lunch. I actually did some good progress on the coding assignment so I’m very happy but I’m still at 1/3 of the total so i gotta keep grinding! Going bouldering this afternoon so I hope it’s gonna be fun.

02.04.25 || unfortunately, European law too

And just like that, it's just one month left until my next exam. Time flies, while I am stuck on the ground. I had my first meetup with my new study group today and we all seem to be on different levels and very exhausted about this exam already. The Professor announced that it will be on international law *and* European law, which is a lot for just one exam. So I'll be studying a bit more tonight instead of writing, which is pitiful, but what can you do. Fingers crossed, that we all pass x

All the best

Day 14

01.03.25 🩷 thank god february is over and spring is almost here! i've felt very unproductive this last month (all of winter) but my new uni project is helping me get excited again. i'm actually quite anxious about finishing soon (only 3 months left!) after studying for 5 years, but we're not gonna think about that right now :)

2025. 01. 15 | First day of work!

I have my first day as a delivery person today.

I started my day by going to the gemeente to file our birth certificates as a step in registering our marriage.

Sent a polite, but firm, (400 word) email to the PI detailing how their lack of communication, delays in the start date, etc. have affected me and how I now need the researcher position that is meant to hold me over until the PhD starts and the finalization of the PhD position to be made a priority, or I will be forced by financial limitations to find another PhD position.

Bought a powerbank as required by my new delivery job

Finished my Dutch homework for class tomorrow

Started organizing how I will self-study Italian to get my B1 (and eventually higher) for my citizenship post-marriage

I have my shift and then a dinner with my best friend here afterwards. I feel slightly better after letting that email go. It means I got their words in writing, giving them a chance to correct me, and let them know that I am not a person to be trifled with.

Wednesday • January 15, 2025

So….. Long time no see? 😭😭 Sorry for dipping for *checks notes* 3 full months, the semester got ROUGH midway through and I had to lock in. I took my usual photos and timelapses throughout that time, so expect to see those for a bit because I don’t have anything to do yet. The pic for today is of my annual pre-semester folder cleanse.

Okay so semester debrief:

Starting off with the good, I LOVED circuit analysis 1! I was so nervous to take it because I was scared I would hate it (and by extension hate my major), but the work was so satisfying that I would study for it as a break between other assignments.

On the other hand, my combined linear algebra and differential equation class was the worst experience I’ve had in a class ever. I struggled heavily with the material, and my professor’s condescending attitude did NOT help in the slightest.

I was pulling all nighters weekly to finish piles of homework covering material we weren’t taught, but every time I reached out to the professor for help I was met with disdain for not understanding the material, which then escalated into derogatory comments relating my work ethic to my gender and appearance. I think I mentioned one of these in an earlier post, but they continued throughout the semester until I eventually couldn’t take it anymore and stopped showing up to his office hours.

Unsurprisingly I ended up failing the class, and I was super unmotivated for a while because I felt I proved him right and was just not cut out for this field, but after a couple of pep talks and a long rate my professor review I’m back on track and retaking it this semester!

Regardless of that train wreck, I ended up acing almost all of my finals! The only one that I bombed was LinAlg/DiffEQ, which was expected, but I was pleasantly surprised by my electromagnetism final grade, which was an A-!! I got the top score in a class of 100+, and it pulled my grade up from a low C- to a high C+, which shocked me so much after a week of nonstop studying that I actually screamed when scores were released :D.

[ 14th january, 2025 • 128/152 days ]

now that it's exam time again, all the problems are back. can't focus, can't sleep, can't do anything. i'm getting very upset, but i know that won't help with anything so i'm trying to be patient with myself. mentally-drained person woes

-> ASA notes (dynamic programming)

-> pharmacy run