in my sickly haze I somehow installed 2 tumblrs

so interesting news but after using both for a bit, while they initially seemed the same, it has become clear that the right tumblr app takes place in a timeline where 9/11 did not happen

is it better there

you might think so but you'll never believe what happened on 9/12

staying with my father and my teenage brother occasionally has been very enlightening actually i need to think about it positively

Babe, ever since I met you, your power level has been over 9000. With you, I know the cake won't be a lie. Together we can rule the galaxy, and all their base will belong to us. I can haz marriage?

OP I am going to break into your house and unleash a horde of locusts in your closet if you don’t stop

wouldn't even notice with the type of shit i got goin on

She absolutely thought that was gonna be some kind of sick fucking burn but it was not

you guys should really try talking to older people sometimes. like anyone over the age of forty. it would cure you i swear

family doesn't count. go to a local lutheran churches coffee hour and chat with the old ladies.

Idea: Idol girl disappears and transitions to become the most boring 40 year old man who works a 9-5 and people wonder why there's photos of that idol girl in his house and he's like "that's me when I was 19"

Has a worm ever gotten struck by lightning

Can whoever wired all my money to the cayman islands please send that back

If he's so evil and heartless, why is he cuddling with me oh so gently and kissing me?

cats