so a very long time ago, my dad worked with an arson investigator
this guy was often one of the first people on the scene following a suspected arson, once emergency services had done what they needed to do. at times, there were also civilians on the periphery. often, they were freaking out, and understandably so; their home or workplace had just, quite literally, gone up in smoke
this investigator wouldnāt try to calm them down. he wouldnāt comfort them or be a shoulder to cry on.
instead, heād walk up to the person most visibly losing their shit, hand them a fire extinguisher, and say āhey, can you keep an eye out for any other fires, and if you see one, can you put it out with this?ā
of course, there was no actual risk of another fire. he wouldnāt be on the scene investigating if there was even a chance that the fire wasnāt completely put out. but the bystander didnāt need to know that
because that person, without fail, would immediately pull it together, take the fire extinguisher, and stand guard. they were, at least temporarily, calm enough for this investigator to do this job
my dad has told me the parable of the fire extinguisher a hundred times, and i think about it a lot. i think about what it says about people and crises. i think about what it says about the grounding power of having a purpose. and i think about the importance of letting someone help me through something, even if that help is just going to be another casserole to throw into the freezer, because useless or not, that fire extinguisher might be the only thing holding them together
one time I had to call in a 911 about a student having a heart attack. as soon as I was off the phone and the paramedics showed up I got so dizzy and light-headed that I was worried I was going to pass out and I remember sitting myself down quietly going "you absolutely CANNOT pass out right now they have OTHER THINGS TO DEAL WITH"
but it was really a crazy feeling and my friend who works at a hospital told me that it is super common for bystanders to faint after an emergency is over and they stop having something to do.
And I also remember that the 911 operater asked me a bunch of questions, some of which I had to gather information from my student about (like his age), and then at some point the 911 operater transferred me to someone else and I got asked some of the same questions again and I felt so guilty that I hadn't thought to write them down and couldn't remember the answers from earlier.
And my same friend from the hospital was like "they definitely still had that information. they kept asking questions because keeping you on the line and giving you something to do makes you less likely to panic or pass out."
and I was like "OH"
