Truly though unipolar depression is helllllla different than bipolar depression
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@2spiritbipolar
Truly though unipolar depression is helllllla different than bipolar depression

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Thoughts lately:
- I wish i had the sexy kind of neurodivergence. People be out here disclosing “Audhd” “autism.” But if i disclose mine, people shut me out and get fucking weird.
- I wish everyone in the world had to go through psychosis at least once. A coming of age of sorts. There would be way less assholes. People would be more empathetic.
- I don’t think I’m ever gonna go back to the person I was pre first episode. The depression is so fucking deep.
- I pick my scalp until it bleeds. Everyday. Ancestors would be ashamed. But hey! There are worse self mutilation options.
- i use to be spiritual but since my episode, i am terrified of spiritual. I think i have ptsd from my psychosis.
babe are you okay you reblogged got that fog in me 11 times
wait, i did? i don't remember doing that...

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Imma remain misunderstood because I don't like to do too much talking 😴
What hurts even more than coming out of the spiral i was in post mania is seeing my kin spiral into mania and out of it. Ive been thinking alot about in what ways is it appropriate to hold people accountable when they lose their minds. I destroyed alot of relationships (4) when i went manic and i see my kin doing the same. Im just not sure that mentally ill people who are unmedicated and undiagnosed should be held accountable in the same ways that others are. Especially when those people are doing everything in their power to get better but their brains are controlling them in an unregulated way. If i had a diagnosis over the summer, i would have acted so much differently. I would have been medicated. I just thought that i was feeling different because i was coming off of medication. I thought that medication was making me live half the life i had the potential to. I had no clue what was happening. One friend said in passing “you are manic” and i shrugged it off because i didnt even know what that meant. People use the term “manic” as a descriptor so frequently and i had never read about manic depressive in earnest. I’m so thankful i know now. But it really tears my heart out to see my kin going through it.
the most fun a girl can have is finding parallels, noticing patterns, making connections, contemplating
hey so it didn’t get better btw i just learned how to live like this

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reminder that indigenous queer folks do not need to fit your colonial definitions or conceptions of queerness in order to be valid, worthy, and spectacular.
if your concept of what a lesbian looks like requires that all lesbians have shaved or short hair, then you’re excluding ntv lesbians who honour our ancestors by growing our hair long.
i’m no less of a butch for having hair that goes down to my tailbone. i’m no less of a butch for wearing my hair in a braid. i’m also still butch when i wear beaded earrings, a ribbon skirt, and moccasins.
if your idea of queerness is tied to whiteness, that’s just a shame. indigeneity and queerness go together like inhaling and exhaling. one cannot exist without the other.
do not forget about reservations.
do not forget about the people on reservations.
when you are making and reading posts about dire predictions for quality of life, do not forget about reservations.
we already have issues accessing clean water. we already experience devastation from climate change. we are already going missing for our race. we are already being murdered for our culture.
it will only get worse.
it’s possible to live through. every single person indigenous to north america has a chance to live through this. i’m not trying to fear monger; i’m trying to remind you.
please do not forget about us when you assure people that “everything will be okay; people are living under far worse circumstances in other countries”.
people are living under far worse circumstances here. and it can get worse. and it will get worse. and we need you to remember that we’re here when it happens.
not as punchy, but adding onto this:
What are Indigenous issues that I and the Natives I know are worried about?
- Pipelines affecting water
- Pipelines destroying protected land/land under treaty
- Pipelines are already factually epicenters of the MMIW+ crisis
- Substance abuse and suicide rates
- Directly related to the above, IHS funding
- Tariffs affecting gaming revenue, which is often used significantly in our communities’ funding
- Not a huge systemic issue, but a bummer: no more Native secretary of the interior
- ICWA. holy fuck. ICWA.
- The DoE only being allowed to teach sanitized genocide-denial schlock.
Convinced that all my ndn family is bipolar specifically because of indian boarding schools, scoops, and colonization. We are disproportionately mentally ill. You gotta look at the violences done to us to understand why.

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crazy how you can be hanging on by a thread for like four months. Or your entire life