In a life of a Digital Laptop Producer/Performer

(Or: How to Escape a Narcissist with a MIDI Controller)

Remember that guy I mentioned in my earlier posts—the one I recorded a full album with for less money than it takes to buy a convenience store sandwich? This is his saga. Buckle in.

You don’t often get to say you dodged a bullet—but this wasn’t a bullet. This was a glitter-covered hand grenade of delusion, hurled directly at me by a man with big dreams, a tiny budget, and a level of self-awareness so low it may legally qualify as a black hole.

Let’s rewind to the beginning. Our ill-fated meet-cute happened at one of those “professional media meetups,” where composers like me go to mingle with filmmakers, share ideas, and—if the stars align—build real creative partnerships. What I got instead was an ego in sneakers, wielding a camcorder and aiming for Sundance. The moment he opened his mouth, I should’ve run, but alas—hope makes fools of us all.

At first, I genuinely thought I’d landed a gig with someone who knew what he was doing.

Lights, Camera, Oh God, Why Is This Still Going?

Then came the home screening of the first cut. Yes—3.5 hours of it. In a living room. On a consumer-grade TV. The atmosphere could’ve been cut with a plastic butter knife.

That’s where I met (some of) the cast. The ones who actually showed up, anyway. A few of the wiser ones had already smelled the smoke and quietly backed away from the wreckage. The rest of us sat there, watching this cinematic endurance test unfold in real time, faces frozen somewhere between polite horror and spiritual dissociation.

They were lovely people. Talented, even. And visibly uncomfortable. Turns out, they'd already figured out what I hadn’t yet—that our dear director wanted the prestige of a Christopher Nolan film without investing in, say, a tripod. Or lighting. Or a plan.

And the movie? Oh, sweet mercy.

That first cut was a staggering mess, complete with 2.5 hours of music. Why? Because vast sections of the film had no dialogue. Just long, awkward silences and the occasional slasher kill—like The Room decided to cosplay as Saw.

Naturally, I wrote the entire score. For free. Twice. Why twice, you ask? Because the man—brace yourself—didn’t back up his hard drive. That’s right. He lost the entire film and had to re-edit the thing from scratch. The sheer audacity. The man makes an epic-length home video and forgets to hit “Save As.”

And because he re-edited from scratch, every single music cue I’d carefully written, timed, and synced to specific scenes? Useless. Gone. Like trying to reattach frosting to a different cake. I had to rewrite everything to fit the new cut—also for free, of course. I was young. Naïve. The kind of hopeful you can only be before you've had your creative soul wrung out like a wet sponge by someone with no conscience and zero sense of professional shame.

Taken for a ride? Darling, I practically paid for the fuel.

Somehow, he chopped it down to about two hours. I rewrote the music (again for free, because apparently, I had not yet developed the healthy reflex of saying no), and hoped that would be the end of it. But this is indie filmmaking, darling—where budgets are fantasy, and composers are apparently magical elves who work for exposure.

But no. There was still one more cut to go.

He eventually took that lumbering disaster of a film and trimmed it down to a measly 20 minutes—a short-film version he entered into a festival. It featured one of the actors who’d later go on to host Iron Chef Canada—a genuinely talented guy who, unlike our dear director, knew how to act like a professional and not film entire scenes lit like a haunted hallway. We actually became good friends, and I miss working with him. He was the real deal.

Anyway, the short somehow won an award. What for? No one really knows. Best script? Best editing? Best soundtrack? Best accidental comedy? Could’ve been anything. The plaque might as well have read: “Thanks for showing up and pressing play.” Like every other accolade in this man's cabinet, it had the distinct aroma of just being present.

Another film...

And then came the third act. Another film. This time, a coming-of-age Filipino drama, shot partly in Japan. I use the term “drama” loosely—it was more like a poorly translated wish to recreate Stand by Me without understanding what actually made Stand by Me good.

There were drone shots—yes, we had altitude. But emotional depth? Not so much. He clearly thought he was crafting something profound about friendship, loss, and reunion... but instead, we got a baffling tale that tried to be poetic and soul-searching, only to trip over its own flip-flops in the final scene.

The whole thing hinged on the main character reconnecting with his long-lost father—but here’s the kicker: the father had no real presence in the film at all. He just sort of appears in the last five minutes like a cinematic Uber Eats delivery. “Here’s your emotional resolution—enjoy!” A full-blown Deus Ex Machina, complete with inspirational stare-off on a beach. It was meant to be touching. It felt like a deleted scene from a budget toothpaste commercial.

And of course—no sound design. No Foley. No atmospheric layering. Just wind, dialogue, and dead air. But for the music? Oh no, that had to be epic. He wanted sweeping, orchestral glory. Hollywood-tier drama. As if I could somehow score his clumsy little climax into Interstellar.

Darling, I’m a composer, not a necromancer.

I was invited to the embassy screening, but I couldn’t go. Hilariously, when my score played during the credits, they applauded the wrong guy. Someone mistook the producer for me. I like to think of it as karmic theater.

And yes—he won another award. Or was “nominated.” Or something. These film festival participation ribbons are so vague, they may as well just say, “Thanks for showing up.”

Washed-up Wanna-be Rock-Pop-Star

Then came the album. He now fancied himself a rockstar. Told me I was “part of the band” (again, no one ran this by me). What he really meant was: please give me access to your studio, your skills, and your patience—while I take full credit for everything.

Lyrics? Maybe. Melody? Possibly. But 95% of the actual music? Me.

I warned him: don’t post our unfinished work online. Don’t miscredit me. Don’t make me regret this more than I already do.

So naturally, he uploaded a half-baked demo and told the world I “did the synths.” That’s when I packed up my dignity and walked.

And let’s be honest: for a guy pushing 60, with the wardrobe of a boyband intern and a comb-over clinging on like the last leaf of autumn, I think he missed his target audience by about 50 years. He was aiming for TikTok teens and landing somewhere around vintage karaoke night in a suburban bar.

The Real Star, on vacation?

Fast forward, and he's back once more. This time, he asked me to write music for a “possible opportunity” involving the current lead singer of Journey. No paperwork. No confirmation. Just a whisper of a maybe, inflated to an ego-sized pitch.

I’ve learned not to write music for possibilities. I write for projects. Real ones. With deadlines. And people who understand what a contract is.

Besides, our previous "album" would have served as more than enough of a calling card for their management. I even heard—secondhand, of course—that the singer liked my production. Which was flattering. But as fate would have it—and I’m not even religious—I had a gut feeling this whole pitch was going to crash before takeoff.

The singer, apparently, was on vacation. And being handed a mystery album from a man with a history of chaos, no budget, and an urgent need for validation? It doesn’t compute. If I were in the singer’s shoes, I’d be sprinting toward the exit.

So no, I wasn’t going to throw hours of work into something that existed only in one man’s overcooked imagination. I told him: “Talk to the manager. You know—the one you insisted I needed for serious deals.” He replied with a passive-aggressive email that belongs in a museum of misplaced entitlement: “Not cool, bro.”

You know what’s not cool? Living off a music award from 20 years ago like it's a pension.

I told myself I'd never do a porno...

And then came what I thankfully avoided—his latest film.

A soft-core, barely disguised fantasy project masquerading as "art house." Plot? What plot. It was little more than moody glances, shirtless torsos, and slow dissolves set to the emotional depth of a shampoo commercial. It looked like someone tried to remake Blue Valentine using leftover footage from a soap opera and a camcorder bought at a garage sale.

Naturally, it was entered—again—into an indie film festival, and—surprise!—came back with either a nomination or some vague “special mention” ribbon that might as well have read: “Thanks for bringing your own USB stick.”

The reviews? Shredded. Savaged. Torn apart like a paper lantern in a typhoon. If Final Destination was real, and death manifested as cinema, this would’ve been the cursed VHS tape.

And I—blessedly—had nothing to do with it.

A Fading star...

Be proud of the moment. But don’t just run on old merits. Eventually, people stop clapping.

Meanwhile, I’ve seen my Street Fighter V credit fade gently over the years—and that’s okay. Funny thing is, the further it drifts into the past, the more it starts to take on a kind of legend. People still talk about it. Still reference the sound. That contribution, somehow, has taken on a life of its own.

And today, I’m working with people who respect the craft—not people who confuse manipulation with management, or ego for vision.

So here’s the takeaway: work with people. Sometimes it won’t pan out. Sometimes you’ll be the only professional in the room. But every experience teaches you something. Like how to say no. How to walk away. And most importantly—how to spot a narcissist in artistic drag.

I did.

When I first arrived in Tokyo, the idea of a "production house" for composers wasn’t really a thing. My very first agency I applied for was in disbelief that one person could handle such a variety of musical styles. So, they decided to create a new section within the agency—a "Composers Pool"—bringing together seven other producers alongside me. It was an opportunity to showcase diversity and flexibility in music production, and I was eager to dive in. Back then, I was hungry, ready to tackle anything thrown my way. I worked hard to prove myself, even exploring unfamiliar genres and writing demos to win over clients.

In the journey of being a freelancer in Japan, I’ve come to understand that success as a music producer isn’t easily defined. There are moments of intense fulfillment and long stretches of silence. For example, I signed an exclusive contract with an agency that limited me to their projects alone. While exclusivity sounded promising, it also meant turning down opportunities elsewhere. One of the last major projects I worked on under that contract was for a Gundam Online game. After that, things became quiet—two years of silence, to be exact.

That period of stillness made me question the choices I’d made. It’s challenging when you’re passionate about creating and collaborating, yet find yourself boxed in by circumstances. Still, life has a way of surprising you. Just as I was starting to think my exclusive arrangement had run its course, a new opportunity arose. It began with a simple phone call from someone I had crossed paths with earlier, seeking advice on virtual orchestration. That connection eventually led to more work and even greater opportunities.

One notable moment came at the end of 2016 when my agency asked if I wanted to compose music for the introduction movie for Tekken 7. At the time, I had a trip to Bali planned and couldn’t meet the tight deadline, so I had to pass on the opportunity. While I regretted missing out, I’ve always been a huge Tekken fan, so the connection to the franchise still meant a lot to me. It also reminded me of the importance of timing in this industry.

But the turning point came when I got the chance to work on Street Fighter V. The first song I composed for the game felt deeply personal, thanks to the incredible vocalist Caleb Combs, who delivered a raw and honest performance. What started as a one-off gig turned into three years of steady collaboration. During that time, I was also advised to write a waiver that allowed me to pursue freelance gigs without being tied exclusively to a single agency. It was a bittersweet moment, but it opened up new doors for me.

As I reflect on the challenges and triumphs of my career, I’ve learned that setbacks often pave the way for growth. The pandemic reshaped the industry, with many agencies reforming or disappearing entirely. It felt like a forest fire—devastating but necessary for new growth to emerge. Through it all, I’ve remained grateful for the people I’ve met and the experiences I’ve had. If there’s one lesson I’ve taken to heart, it’s this: mistakes and missteps are opportunities to learn and advance.

They say good composers borrow, but great composers steal. Yet, the real theft occurs when a music producer steals someone else's work and claims it as their own. Here’s my story.

The Vault

Imagine a vault, not just a physical one, but a psychological stronghold meant to protect the music I created under a previous employer. In my mind, that work was lost when the company dissolved. I knew, ethically, that if I ever wanted to revisit that music, I’d have to start from scratch—new arrangements, new sounds, the whole nine yards.

But then there are the "splicers." These folks can’t create from thin air. They don’t even touch a Musical Instrument Digital Interface (MIDI). Instead, they cobble together sounds from platforms like Splice and pass it off as music. This particular splicer stole files from our “off limits” vault—with all of my performances, edits, and all. He had no right to access them.

The Implications

Recently, I discovered that an album with this stolen work was released on iTunes under my ex co-producer's name. Listening to it was like hearing a reflection of myself—90% of the music was mine. His only contribution? Downloading samples and having me edit them. I recognized every song, every 808-bass line. His effort boiled down to typing things into a search prompt.

Anger and Realization

Initially, I thought the stolen tracks were recent projects. However, as I listened further, I realized they were older songs, created while I was on salary under different management. That’s when it hit me: this man has no shame. His partner left him because stealing is wrong, and now I understood why. My first thought was, "Where's my name? Where's my credit?" But then, I realized something crucial—if my name were attached, I’d be a co-conspirator in this mess.

So, I made the ultimate move: I refused to engage. He played a terrible game of chess, and now he’s facing the consequences. I distanced myself, and I’m better for it.

The Future

From here on out, I’m making myself unavailable to him. I’m not a ghostwriter, and my work isn’t here to build someone else's reputation. He even recorded one of my songs in L.A. without my knowledge, pretending he did it all by himself. That was the final straw. My time and talent are too valuable to be exploited. He might try to use his connections as leverage, but I’m not biting. If I were in the same room in L.A., everyone would see through his façade. They’d realize they had the wrong guy in the studio.

The Natural Problem

Let’s think three-dimensional chess. His buddies in the States will listen to this album, be blown away, and ask him for favors to produce more AAA-artists. Since he’s in Japan, they’ll think he’s got some magic touch. And he’ll ask me to do the work—probably for a rate far below what it’s worth. If it’s a high-ranking artist, I’ll charge more. It’s that simple. I’m done being kicked around like an empty can down the street. I’m going to be the hardest thing his foot hits, stopping him in his tracks. This has gone too far already.

And if I say I can’t do it because of time constraints? Well, that’s on him and his poor time-management skills. Wasting my time and bandwidth, all while calling himself a music producer? Give me a break.

Copium

How do I cope with this? It’s a fun word, but the reality is, he’ll dangle the chance to work with top directors in L.A., like F. Gary Gray, as a carrot. But I know better. I had the chance to score a Super Bowl commercial Directed by F. Gary Gray, starring LeBron James, and the director loved the music—though I’m sure he wasn’t told I wrote it. I was kept in the shadows while the "hack" and his partner took credit.

If F. Gary Gray ever reads this, he should know the truth. The Super Bowl commercial went with a Chicago Bulls chant in the end, but the original score was mine. I still have the alpha footage, pre-CGI. It’s weird, but it’s fun. F. Gary Gray, if you’re out there, let’s talk.

Wrapping Up

On a positive note, Karma will have its day. I’ve been writing music for 35 years, and I’m not about to ghostwrite for anyone. I want to be a collaborative asset and earn my right to work with others. Unfortunately, some people only see dollar signs when they look at my talent. They don’t want me in control; they want me second-guessing myself. But here’s the thing—music theory is king, and I know it.

Finding out about this theft today has been eye-opening. I’m glad my name isn’t attached to this illegal project. Eventually, someone with a moral compass will speak up to the third party, and the real criminal will be revealed. It’s been an insightful day, even if it came during a typhoon. It gave me time to reflect.

If you’re an amateur and you have no idea how music works, you better leave that over to the professionals and trust the process. However, you know a friend who has some serious production-chops, but you want to get away with the lowest price possible. Let me tell you how this is all going to work and let me guide you through the things I found important while working with others who possess less skills in the world of “writing” music.

Structure

Learn about simple music theory, to the context that you understand what an intro is, a verse, a chorus, a bridge... and the idea behind a pre-chorus if such is a requirement of the song. 

The Chorus

The verses are where you’re able to free-play and experiment with your skill as a word-smith, however, Choruses is absolutely the place where repetition is king, where the listener can follow you once you return to it. 

The point of the Chorus is, if it's easy to remember the first time  you hear it, when it comes back the 2nd time you’ve invited the audience to sing along to it. 

If you fail at this step, this is not a chorus but an extended rondo of a never ending poem that keeps changing when you come to it, leaving the audience confused. This is where I, as a music producer will tell you to STOP and RECONSIDER what the chorus is really about.

Respect the Producer

You will feel hurt because if your only contribution is lyrics and perhaps a melody. It all needs to make sense to the listener. Music-producers have, for a long time, left their own emotions behind and now thinking from the outside perspective of what the listener wants to hear. 

If the lyrics are deeply personal for you, maybe not use that material for the album, keep it at a jam-session where Blues Jams takes place. 

Pop music is about inclusion of the lowest denominator of listeners. A good melody is the core principle of what makes pop such a genre where people would be able to just whistle the melody once the 2nd verse begins. 

All we want to do is to bring out the best in you and what people wants to hear. If this is yet another artsy project, your ego is all that matters for your “creative vision”,well, in the indie-bin you go with very little chance to get heard. That’s not my problem.

Producing music with only money on your mind

If that is your final goal, to make money out of “your music” without putting the effort in, when you are using the talents of other people to first write the tunes, without any input or with minimal guidance, you’re in shallow waters believing that music that has been created is all yours, you’re sorely mistaken.

If you expect that the money will come raking in from streams and turn you into a multimillionaire, again the reality is as harsh as follows: An average stream produces only 0.00023% in revenue for the artists/producer. 10 thousand streams later, you’re able to pay for your coffee at Starbucks ($1). 100 Thousand streams will get you 10 bucks. Also remember that these rations are equal for all artists, maybe a slight change in percentages depending on the streaming platform. 

This is where I find the concept “Writing where the money is” is a dead concept.  Just because it worked for that artist, why do you think it’ll work for you? The reference artists is in his mid 20′s, you’re in your late 50′s and slightly more out of shape than the dude you’re trying to emulate, and you want it to be a new original piece?

A producer is there to bring out the best, even out of horrible out of tune people, to make a case for them to get a record deal or a chance at an idol-show. What happens with the artist after that is no longer my concern. 

The key to make money as an artist is to GO OUT AND PERFORM, another problem for some people, in this case, who hates their own voice, was to create this album, believing that I’m automatically part of their “band”, once again thinking I’ll be saving their ass. That’s not my problem. 

Don’t blame the producer for your own failures

So, you’ve spent 4k of your own money to have the songs produced for your Vanity Project, and now wanting the producer to be a part of your “band” (-No thanks! Other people need me!), just because you think 4k gives you power over me? It give you 2, very basic months of my services. 

When the artist is too emotionally engaged in music that you’ve written, claiming it now to be THEIR SONG, they feel that just because they have paid money for your services, they have the right to control every aspect of the art they don’t understand. 

You try to reason with them, explain to them why these choices were made and how it all works on a musicology level. They’ll be angry and in frustration, throw their hands in the air, acting like a prima-donna, wasting your time in the process in the studio that took you 2.5hrs to get to and another 30 minutes to setup the mic and levels and they decide to leave after 20 minutes on that session you’ve booked in because your constructive criticism felt like an attack on their “artistic”-integrity.

Is that  how they should treat you? In the end you’ll just give up, give them what they want and let go. Or so, that’s how I approach it. With the prerequisite that I’ll never work with them again.

 I don’t get upset over it, but knowing I could have done something a lot better than what they’ve got, is not my problem. I’ve detached myself from the project with the only priority of rowing it all to the goal, no matter how much water has leaked into the ship. They’re like a gremlin, no matter how much they cry, do not ever feed them any more ideas to make your job harder, and NEVER EVER give them the right to free, unlimited revisions. 

You have fulfilled your obligations, the guy starts boosting about his latest (unmixed album mind you) on social media streams, giving himself credits as “music & lyrics by Mr. XXXXX” and you yourself are only credited with “Synthesizers: Daniel Lindholm”. When I saw that, I was like “I don’t really care at this point.” Give him the dog-biscuit and let him be. My work is done. 

THE SUPER DISCOUNT ALBUM, NEVER AGAIN

Mixing was something I left to my dear colleague who has tons of more experience in that field, more than I do, when it comes to vocal processing. He almost worked for free, but I handed off some of my money over to him so he could at least do something to the extent of mixing an album to a quality WAY ABOVE THE PAY LEVEL that the guy has paid for.

Plus, having the choice to have his album mastered by of the best ears in the industry, Mr. Mike Marsh, forking up another 2.3k to get his 10 tracks mastered. He went for it, money not aimed towards us, but for him to have an album that sounds radio-ready.

The problem is that the guy believe just because he paid this sum of 4k total for music and mixing is that he think he can do one more album again for the same price. 

The false savior and the Paradox of success

The guy told me once: -”Daniel, I want you to work full-time in music, seriously, because I don’t want to hear your excuses that you’re busy teaching all the time.”

But the truth is that I am teaching all the time to stay afloat, paying my bills, repairs to the house, car-inspection and car-tax, health-insurance and city-tax. If he can pay up that level of money and offering me a job, being my manager, have a studio, I’d gladly do it. But no, he wants to eat the cake and keep it at all costs. So I think I’ll keep going with what works and I feel very happy about it to be honest. 

But last week, a couple of things happened: Even though I’ve finished my part of the project, there are still things needed to be cleared up, assisting my mixing partner, this guy calls me up during lunch on a Sunday while I’m sitting in a family restaurant, trying to hear him through all the noise. He has a new project, and if it could be conducted as before (Waving those 3k’s again in my face) if I could produce 10 songs before August 16, just because a hot-shot singer is coming to visit him in Tokyo (World Famous one), I don’t get the idea. If the singer has heard our (”YOUR WORK”, right?) work, before mastering and is still intrigued, why should I spend my time writing music for an artists that may or may not like what is being presented to him. Even so, having music ready for 3k is extremely cheap for an artist of that range. We are talking about a WORLD TOURING SINGER, with serious cred, making an album for 3k? It would net him a few slice-loops, put together by themselves on their laptop with ease. But a full custom production, he should invest in it himself. I’m actually totally against taking the 3k deal because it might as well be a waste of my time. And he’d be wasting his money in the process and blame me for it all. 2 days later something else happened.

Through my dear colleague, he had managed to secure ourselves a Manager, who is a true believer in our skills and resources of being truly creative in the field of music and sound-design. He knows this stuff, the business side, the music-technological side. He’s just perfect for us. I’m about to take the step into a serious world of the music industry, something that my “buddy” wouldn’t even be able to do. However, I relayed these news to him saying: -”You told me I should be more serious about music, just want to tell you now that I’ve just got a manager. I want you to be aware of this that the project you pitched me last weekend, might need to be reconsidered. I hope that’s cool with you.” He replied with: -”Congratulations pal, I knew you could do it.” And we ended the conversation of what I believed to be on a positive note. 

For me, it would mean that money/tax/project things now would be up for discussion with my manager. 

When music gets serious, the guy who has paid for the project (My part is finished, so I’m walking away), feels like he has lost control over me. I think its good that he feels that way, because in all reality, being abused by someone who doesn’t understand, and then get yelled at for giving him some pointers about music and his only retort is: -”I’ve won music awards!”, doesn’t really go over well with me, because I don’t believe in music as competition. Now the question again is:-Why does he need me for? The answer is simple, he knows jack-shit about music production. 

And now that I’ve gone “serious” on my venture as a professional music-producer, with a manager, I know that the feeling must be for him that I am “unobtainable”, which in reality I am not. I just want to concentrate on the music and let my talented “business-brain/negotiator” do the talking for me, because he knows my “true value” and don’t want me to sell myself short again. All in all, the album has been at an 80% discount previously. He thought that it would buy him my loyalty, but instead it was the bare minimum just to cover my everyday expenses, including food and all the rest. For 2 months. He’s no sugar-daddy, that’s for sure. So I feel no guilt, getting paid for my work. I just moved on.

The abuse and bullying

Being under management, there are some do’s and don’ts. Of course if I get an email addressed directly to me from the guy, I’m just forwarding those over to the manager. Seems cold, but if we’re talking business, it needs to be kept at that level. Informing this to him, from now on, “please send your questions, concerns and requests to our manager”, hasn’t helped. 

Instead, he is sending me all these threats on how he think I’m the only one making money on this project (You’ve paid for 2 months of services to craft 10 songs, and then record you in a super-expensive studio at an 80% discount mind you...), trying to guild-trip me into believing that I’m doing something wrong, when I’m already done and out from the previous project. I’ve delivered my part of the agreement. He tries to bait me emotionally because he has spent over 6k now at this point (2.3k of those were of his own choice to have it sent and mastered in England.), telling me he’s not getting a return on his investment (he hasn’t even planned out how “his music” will generate money to him, he doesn’t even have a PRO! (Publishing Rights Organization), so how this would be MY FAULT is beyond reason and logic at this point. My problem is how HE CAN SLEEP well to know he underpaid me and now trying the same tactic again is way beyond reason. 

The lies and Delusion of Grandeur

At this point in the story, he has a chance to write to my manager, concocting a story of how he met me, how we have been working, trying to tell the story that we are a “tight” unit (far beyond the truth), how I’ve scored his movies (indie-movies, not big features), how he has changed his story with his involvement in big film-productions set here in Japan and New Zealand. To me he said he was a liaison between the principle-cast and the Japanese extras, but he has toned down his story now for only working with the Japanese/American crew on the B-Unit.

This is another thing I really enjoy studying psychology, you can spot the narcissist just by this behavior alone; constantly changing their story. Liars can’t say the “same truth” twice. 

He portrays us as Lennon/McCartney, but no, this was our first “joint” songwriting project. We don’t know each other that well to begin with. I was introduced to him through a mutual friend. But for him to think it was friendship, for me it was a networking meeting for finding creatives to work with, at a professional rates, not giving away freebies, that he constantly surfs for. I’m way too kind for all this.

The psychological trait is what we hobby-psychologist calls: The Delusion of Grandeur. The mindset that the person believe he is the achiever, the person who makes things happen with the classical setup of: “IF it wasn’t for me, you’d never have this career...” all that nonsense bullshit, trying to paint himself as the hero, saving you from a financial problem, (You paid for a service!)  and all the talents that you’ve yourself spent the last 30 years, developing and perfecting to become a natural part of your creative process, IS ALL BECAUSE OF HIM, while he can barely strum an E minor chord on a guitar. Not putting in the work and still believe they are above you. 

I’ve seen this type of personality too many times and once I see that, doesn’t really inspire you to be part of the “band” or any project he might propose. And the only thing he has now is this World Singer, trying to use that as leverage for us in the team. 

That’s not a threat - This is a fact

Our manager is handling all this in a perfect professional manner while the client (my guy obviously from above) freaks out, cursing, behaving irrational and hoping that it would somehow make the situation better without understanding why the manager is there in the first place. He’s threatening of blocking us off from meeting that Artist, and our response have been:-”Well, since it looks like wishful thinking to us right now, and you don’t have that one in the bag just yet, we just put all that on hold for now.“ In reality this could just be a waste of time for all of us involved and a waste of money on his half. He NEEDS to understand that way of thinking. It’s not like in the movies “Build it and they will come” approach never happens. This is the REAL WORLD. Accept that I look at each scenario at 8 different outcomes instead of a binary with a YES or NO. 

Here are the things I consider when something is whishy-washy in its presentation. Let’s use the World Artist as an example. Here is how my brainwork:

Situation 1: The artist arrive and the guy plays the 10 newly crafted songs telling him: - “This is all made for you.” -”What do you mean, all for Me?” .... awkward silence. He wasn’t expecting to be pitched a project on his day off. He might get angry because he wants to relax and not think about music for a while.

Situation 2: The artist arrive and you play the music from your Vanity project, now it its final form: -”This is how it sounds now after Mastering and I only spent 6k doing it”, “6k, huh, how?” “-I did the music by myself, got myself into a studio and recorded it.” “Interesting. Do you have the original files on your computer back home for me to look at it?” “eehhhh........” DOA for not being truthful. Not acknowledging the original music-creators.

Situation 3: The artist arrives, he plays the 10 newly crafted songs. The world artist goes: -”I don’t like any of these songs. I thought you said it was special. I don’t hear it. Sounds like other pieces of music I’ve heard over and over again.” (The usage of reference tracks are strong here, due to the direction of the client.) -”I’m not interested, not on my day off. I rather not think about business while on holiday.”

Situation 4: The artist arrives, he plays the album and the Artist goes wild! “This is some of the best things I’ve ever heard! It’s original, it something I’ve never heard before! I told you I liked what I’ve heard before, but this is on a different planet man! Do you think we could do something like this?” -”Sure” our guy says, “You did all of this?” -”Yes, these are all my lyrics and melodies.” -”You wrote on FB that you also did the music.” -”Yes, that’s right”. -”Ok, let me call my manager and let’s get started then!” / Project falls due to not having the appropriate skills just by lying, but at this point the manager and World Artist have spent so much money that it turned out to be a scam in the end.

Situation 5: The Artist arrives, our guy plays the 10 new song he spent 3k on, the artist freaks out how awesome it is. Our guy acknowledges who the original team is, gets in touch with my manager. They talk, everything looks good only for everything to breakdown at the other end. The Artist’s manager says NO. The record label says NO. 10 tracks made and wasted from our Guys pocket. This is RISKY as far as this situation goes. Everything looks great until the very last link and as a result we have wasted our time on a pipe-dream.

Situation 6: The wish of our guy goes all the way, pays 3k, gets the 10 songs, plays the 10 new song, everything has been acknowledged (doubtful at this point), The artists gets his manager involved, their manager talk to our manager, the record label agree that money will be funneled into the project. It turns successful, our guy becomes the “lead”-producer on this project, but the way he has treated us before, this is still something we’d leave with someone else. He could be the lyricist and melody maker, but I believe the Music-producer would lead the project into a direction that is more of a reality. Our guy leaves in frustration of not having control over the project, but his lyrics and melodies (although slightly altered to fit the songs in general, maybe the melody is not moving enough, too monotone, needs to be done. The Producer is the king of this.) Leaving the team and the artist in limbo, however through creative thinking of the team, we create something new from scratch with the input from the artist himself. The money is being spent where it matters without fights in the studio.

Situation 7: The Artist himself is very invested starting this project himself, using our guy as an entry-point to gain access to the team without our guy wasting anything from his own pocket. He has heard the vanity-project album as was very happy with the results and have his manager engage with our manager.  Then meeting the team, we discuss what this new album will be all about. He goes back to L.A, I begin work on the ideas, the sonic picture. Our guy still wants to write lyrics, but I favor doing all of it alone, he could be just the overseer at this point. The way he writes lyrics and melodies just aren't hitting the western audiences because of his minimalistic approach and monotonous-melodies. We end up doing 2 versions of each song instead to double our chances of the artist choosing the one with the better melody. As a team I am willing to create options. But the artist needs to be the final judge, picking the version he likes the best. Our guy gets upset when his lyrics/melody isn’t picked, acting up as a 5-year old, leaves the studio, thinking he has wasted time in the project, but I would say we spent equal amount of the time and the choice is nothing personal. 

Situation 8: The artist is impressed by the production, asks for who created the album, gets in touch with our manager and handles it all from there without the involvement of the guy at all. Deal will be signed with the record-label. He is happy that he has found us and that we could sit down and discuss more in detail of his dreams and hopes about this solo album. He jumps into a demo-session for us to Jam out ideas from scratch, to see how we work, he goes back to L.A leaving all the creative process to me and my team-mate and we get to work, designing musical narratives and sound-scapes. Project is a success without any fights or interference. But this situation will not really be a reality.

As you can see, I consider many different WHAT IF’s if things aren’t going the way as it was planned out, just considering that 2 out 8 situations is not a high-success rate for it to be “in the bag”, releasing us clear from doubt. Our success rate is only 25%. Far beyond clear and reasonable reason to do it before he arrives. It would be smarter to do and discuss with him WHEN he arrives in Japan. But that gamble is still only a 10% chance, when he is on vacation, I do not believe he wants to talk about work AT ALL. That leaves us for surprise situation number 9 below:

Situation number 9: I write 10 pieces of music, 2k has been wired, another 1k is sent while completing all 10 songs. He shows it to the Artist claiming he has written all the music, he calls and say: He WILL DO IT! -”What about the additional production costs? Did you talk to him about mixing and mastering? And no, this project is not going to cost 6k like before. 3k gives you the demo’s at a presentable stage for The Artist. 6k will not cover the rest. The rest is production of the songs, Stereo-file for remote-recording, additional music sessions for completing other musical ideas after the voice have been recorded, POST-Processing for Mixing and yet another 10 tracks to be sent in to MASTERING...” “I thought we could do it for 6k, just like before.” -”You weren’t listening to what my manager told you? 6k is not covering the rest of the costs. Are you gonna pay for all this or is the artist going to invest?” -”I will cover the costs.... if it’s 6k”, and here we are in this circle of circular reasoning, avoiding to answer questions and things left out of their meeting. Again we are in a wishy-washy situation where nothing is clear and my finger is hovering over the command+backspace button to delete the data. 

This is not a threat, this is a fact. Whatever you do, trust the process and most of all, don’t piss off your Music-Producer.

Arrived at work this morning, checking messages and then I go into the Swedish newspaper “Aftonbladet” to discover to my horror that a person I wrote about in an earlier post has been shot dead in a gang related incident.

Einar, the so called Swedish wunderkind of mumble-rap, has sadly left the earth too soon in the suites of a lifestyle I wasn’t sure was real. His song text as far as I understood it was at one point about drugs and criminality, but in a way to make people open up their eyes that even “blonde” swedes end up at the wrong end of the stick and wanted to make a change to their horrible world they were living in. Problem was, nobody listened.

He took the wrong turn

And if nobody listened, Einar didn’t make a change that he could have done to make his life safer, but decided staying in the same area and start flashing his jewelry, watches and the most idiotic thing of all, a bulletproof vest with the LV logo draped all over it. It seems he didn’t take the threats seriously and just mocked the people. By flashing he pissed people off, no matter if he is in a gang or not. But the worst thing he could have done was to talk about things he has never done (wrote about this in my previous post about a year ago.) or experienced. As the saying goes in the rap-circles, especially in the “gangsta-rap” genre, you don’t talk about things you’ve never done or try to imagine. It’s about being REAL and not fake. He made statements that made him into a mytho-maniac and a target at the same time, which is the worst situation to be in. He could have changed his life as soon as he had his big hit, but he decided to stay in the poor neighborhood and in the misery for those living in a lower-middle class standard. This could have been avoided if he didn’t think about himself, but helping his parents, use that money to get into a university or whatever. But with him, the money was just a way for him to get what he wanted and making himself again a target. I thought the touring would kill him for his inexperience, but the inexperience caught him where he ended, with a gun he never fired, but imagined, the false image becoming the disrespect that triggered the killer to “straight” it all out. From my point of view, these rappers behave like 3-year old toddlers with no reasoning skill, who cannot share a toy with others on the playground or to play fair. And now this will go above the rest of us musicians to try to clean ourselves up from this bad image.

Music & Drugs - The Myth

Another misconception are that musicians are using drugs on and off stage because people think they are doing it for the cool factor. From my point of view, I’ve never gotten drunk, I’ve never smoked and I would never in my wildest dreams consider drugs as a way of me becoming on the top of my game. Drugs don’t enhance my musical skills. I don’t think drugs could ever enhance my skills at all, but it could definitely change my perception of the world around me, but that’s not really a reality right?

I remember that back in the 50 to the early 90s, musicians and drugs was like “common”. Miles Davis, we all know he was addicted to some substance, but not as a music-booster. It was just as a sleep-denier during the nightly tour-bus rides which in the end messed up with his system in the end. But on stage the closest thing you would find near him would be a cigarette or 2nd hand smoke. But he was always “crisp” and clear-headed during the gigs. The drugs was just a support with all the stress and extended “safety” in case the bus-driver would fall asleep behind the well.

More and more bands today has started a cleaner lifestyle. We all remembered Nirvana, but we could see right away the stoned eyes of Kurt Kobain. The sole focus was on him and gave the illusion that the rest of the members did the same. However, I’ve felt Dave Grohl, Foo Fighters, Queens of the Stoneage has always managed to be clean even though the music is gruff, cool, punk-ish and experimental, still has structure of a comprehensive mind. For me, he has become the image every music group should display, happiness in music, interacting with fans and give the world the hope and community through his work with this amazing girl who challenged him to a drum-off during the pandemic. It brought me tears to my eyes because I thought to myself: -”Are we there now where music does not need to be stigmatized with guns and violence and not connect it to music and console-games as the common denominator?” I felt that we have reached a peak once he managed to come up with the brilliant idea of a “free concert for everyone who gets vaccinated”.

1 Gun, Several gunshots, 1 Murder

Sometimes I wonder if Sweden has any laws at all. How can people or teenagers get access to firearms in a country where only the police and the military are allowed to have for self-protection purposes? Sure, we are not as bad as the USA when it comes to gun-violence, but for me this is a big issue. Sweden must do something to make all of this shit relevant and deal with it together with raising the taxes, increase pay for people in the public sector and to let peoples savings for the future in form of pensions not to be messed with.

Gang violence have increased heavily in the last 15 years after I left Sweden. When I did hear about people getting killed in the beginning it was mostly by stabbing with knives. 5 years later guns started to become frequently in Swedish murder cases, hard to solve. Public shootings started in the last 3 years outside nightclubs and daily shootings at people sitting in cafes just to have small talk, having their days ruined and traumatized by these maniacs.

But it takes 1 gun, several gunshots to create 1 murder. The motive was obvious in this case, suspects are already on the police’s radar. The question for me has been “why?”. Anyone who did it is someone we already know, another gang, another rapper. And Einar was about to give his eyewitness account against that gang-member in court just a few days away from today. But he got silenced for tempting and flipping off the same rival who already has been in jail, awaiting a real prosecution for kidnapping and other cases of violence and even murder.

Sometimes I wonder if Sweden works at all. Read in the papers that a rape victim got 20 000 SEK in compensation while the rapist claimed he was treated unfairly, getting 840 000 SEK in his case. This is insanity, not fair. I just get horrified that people can be so blind to reason. The RAPIST should be thrown into the darkest hole without any compensation. Why is this so hard for the Swedish legal system to dodge and find some idiotic loophole when the evidence are piled up against him and he still walks away like a winner? Special case, my ass.

Paranoia is my friend

This is what I have to deal with while I go back to my country every time. Paranoia is my friend. It all starts at the airport. When I get through those doors, lots of people are waiting and even scoping out targets that they’ll try to mark and call to people waiting at the other end to ambush them. I do the only psychological thing that does bite; I look them in the eyes, standing tall, not bending over with my heavy backpack. I want them to know that I see them and it is pointless to try to even hustle me. I also decide to walk where there are cameras and security personnel around me to make it hard for them to even consider ambushing me. But that’s the thing, once I am in Sweden, I never switch off. I am in “observer” mode from the moment I land until I leave. Exhausting, but it has saved my life countless of times just to look the part.

People living in patterns feel “safe”

Lot’s of interesting news heading to our heads this Monday from what I heard from Yong Yea’s video about Konami wanting to outsource their IP’s to 3rd parties.

Obviously, Akira Yamaoka has kinda given away a strong hint that he’s working on a project with Bloober which in this case would be the long awaited SH remake or the direction they had with PT before it got cancelled. Akira Yamaoka also decided that (too late) he wanted to amend the article from his interview and release it later down the line. It’s very unusual that these news happen, but we all know Yamaoka is most famous for his music in Silent Hill.

Which brings me to a funny story about my own involvement of a Silent Hill game. I mentioned this on a podcast that I was part of 2 Konami-owned IP’s that went into another direction and killing off their franchises which have been like dead bodies in a morgue for the last 7 years.

I got the request to write industrial-metal music for a Silent Hill (of course at this time I only knew the IP and their most famous version of the game has been Silent Hill 2.) game. First I was of course very excited to be part of the series, but I jumped to early until I found out it was a Pachinko-machine (A japanese style pinball-game mixed with a touch-screen and a one-armed bandit and a slot-machine in one.), and my heart sank a little. I think I produced 4-5 cues for the machine, but I’m glad that nobody will be able to hear my “mediocre” masterpieces because all you would hear are metal-balls falling into a tray. But the thing about this machine, it had taken cut-scenes from Silent Hill 2, upscaled or even re-mastered/remade the graphics which would have looked great if it was its own game. But it was the same thing they’ve done with all their other IPs when those transfer over to this kind of entertainment. All what was left of it, Jim Sterling turned the game into a Meme and all I can hear is the -”HIT THE LEVER!” and the effects overpowering the music behind it. But I’m glad it didn’t go further then that. Technically here, Silent Hill(s) died with the arrival of the pachinko-slot machine and the series have tried to re-establish itself ever since.

Another game I was a part of was a Castlevania (Dracula in Japan) themed Pachinko-slot machine, with the revolutionary phrase “Erotic Violence” in it’s PR material and video-commercial. I mean, they took the music production part of this machine very seriously because I wasn’t aware of the “EV” part. I just thought it would be a machine praising the history of Castlevania. I was assigned to re-write and re-orchestrate a few songs from Neo-classical Metal music into more Progressive Metal style, and I was super-proud of this one because they had the sheet-music already available for me. All I had to do was re-arrange some parts for a string-quartet (1 cello, 2 violins and 1 viola) and I believe it was engineered and recorded by famed engineer Kenji Nakai who was under and working with famed engineer Mr Bruce Swedien (Michael Jackson, Quincy Jones).

From that moment me and Mr. Nakai stroke a friendship because he has a passion for Progressive Metal and he asked me if I could send more songs his way. From this we both have been incredibly busy on both of our ends, but I hope we can be able to work on something in the future. I have a feeling that might be soon.

So a long story short, Konami spent a lot of money for recording, they approved everything and we were done. But when it turned out to be a pachinko-machine and not a world-wide videogame release, I just had to facepalm myself, asking the question why they keep doing so many poor decisions. Why leaving all those fans out in the cold and really start making Castlevania mean something. This void of “lots of fancy things, but no substance” started right here...

Konami are turning their wheels a little bit too late and too slow until now. After they got rid of Hideo Kojima (Who I believe was thinking of the international-market rather than the domestic one), Konami had only one thing on their minds: Making money quick and domestically. No more wasted time on translations, straight for the gambling crowd. No need to write interesting stories. No need to introduce kids to this adult material. They wanted to earn it back as fast as possible. But we all see their decisions put them on the map as a “black-company”, who mistreat their staff, shaming them out in the office for overstaying their lunch-breaks. Moving staff from one business to another, from a programmer to a Konami-fitness Center-staff, or as a toilet-cleaner at a Konami-owned pachinko-slot gambling hall. The management of the company has been horrendous for the full-time employee. I’m glad I was not part of these later projects and only wrote stuff for them for Pro Evolution Soccer series from 2009-2012. (My work on 2010-2012 was unfortunately un-credited work. :(

Metal Gear Solid V - The Phantom Pain In My Ass

When the playable teaser called Metal Gear Solid - Ground Zeroes, came out on the PS3 and later on the PS4, it was an introduction for the new graphics engine designed by Hideo Kojima’s team, simply called The FOX-Engine. Basically this “game” was more of a demo rather than a full-product. But it looked great and with a fantastic score by Akihiro Honda, Ludvig Forssell and Harry Gregson-Williams, it had everything going for it to become something really awesome. It became a standard approach from Hideo Kojima now to produce “Playable Teasers” to show a great concept while offering a 3-4 hour short campaign, showing off the engine’s graphical capabilities.

Still, the story was under progress and I knew early on that Hideo Kojima really didn’t want to do it after he always felt that Metal Gear Solid 4 was final. But here is the curse of the die-hard fans, and I’m sorry to say it. No matter how many Iron Man movies Marvel crams out, at the 3rd movie, I started to feel “This does not feel like Iron Man anymore”. But that’s what the fans wanted and is a standard in the movie industry. Always produce a trilogy. Indiana Jones has always been the 3 movies from 1981-1989. The 4th one doesn’t really need to be called Indiana Jones at all. It was there I felt, just like with Metal Gear Solid V, they were beating a DEAD RACE HORSE.

I can’t deny the talents on display for Metal Gear Solid - Ground Zeroes. It laid down some really cool foundations for the gameplay, but I still believe the better game-series for stealth was beaten by the likes of Splinter Cell and most recently Thief. Stealth in MGS has always felt a little bit childish and I only really enjoyed MGS 1, MGS 2, tried to play MGS 3 (still have it one my Vita!) and will try to finish it. MGS 3 has felt like the TRUE Zeroes experience, with the inception of the story and lore behind the cloning of Big Boss. MGS 4 finally brought it all to a great finale and I felt, there is NOTHING more to tell. MGS 1, 2 and 4 is the Trilogy, MGS 3 serves as the Prequel and I see nothing wrong with that.

Mission - Erase Kojima’s Legacy

The making of MGS V - The Phantom Pain is kinda true to it’s title. Can you feel the nostalgia? Or are we just imagining the sensation of a Metal Gear Solid game past it’s prime? The missing link? The missing limb? And with the worlds biggest cop-out  of everything that had to do with story was completely missing.

Each mission is playing out every time the same, with an intro to a TV-show, giving away massive spoilers to who would appear in the mission, you do your thing (not so much of story, just a “go-here, do that approach, sneak back out, head to pick-up) rinse and repeat. I wonder how much of this was Kojima’s fault? I don’t think he was up to it. I’m sure he fought for more story but the big heads didn’t want to listen to what makes a MGS game a MGS game. The new management had now already played the hand to disown the man who put Konami on the map for games since the mid 80s.

The game is no longer marketed like before. The tagline “A Hideo Kojima Game” no longer exists and will never be part of Konami’s mission of erasing the person who gave them their fame and the recognition that a game carrying the name Konami was a brand of quality for any gamer out there. Me myself, personally only played PES because of the stellar animations, but its recently since 2012, I stopped playing the series. FIFA had already cheapened itself, PES likewise. Updating the graphics, but the same old animations have been recycled back to the PES3 days. Maybe there’s been an update in the collision engine, but otherwise everything stayed the same, with the huge amount of data collected from previous years of motion-capture, why do it all over when its all about the brand recognition? Saving money on processes wherever possible. Simple Math. And here it is. MGS V is not a MGS game.

We already knew it was going to be a massive budget behind the game of MGS V. But what can Konami do to save money on MGS V? They already have the Fox Engine running from Ground Zeroes. The assets for “Snake” (I’ll let you know why I put quotation-marks around it) and standard models will extend somewhat. Oh, yes, let’s save money on a character that doesn’t speak (Quiet), over-sexualize the character to start a fan-base of people who just dig character design, animated a sexy “shower” routine for the character for boys to go nuts over. What about voice? Let’s not really try to sync the voices to the mouths. Let’s have the guy from “24″ record his performances onto tape-logs. Kiefer Sutherland would have been a good “Snake”, but I understand now that you are not “SNAKE”. The game explains pretty soon at the end that you are just a Medic and all the tapes you’ve been listening to is the original Big Boss. You never where the character of Snake. Even though this all could have been handled better, Konami wanted to save money wherever possible. We also knew David Hayter was not asked or put forward to return as “The Voice of Snake”. But in this case I start to wonder myself, David Hayter might have dodged the biggest bullet in the most expensive, commercial and very controversial game of all time once Konami decided to kill everything that built up their reputation.

Even during production Kojima managed to start working on PT. The game Konami “silenced” after it was released on the PS-store. Guillermo Del Toro and his friendship with Hideo Kojima’s dream-game was put on ice. All because Kojima was about to get frozen out of the company that was according to Konami “Wasting too much bloody money”. I might get blacklisted for saying this, but once the new management started to mess with the other IPs for just domestic/gambling market, that’s where everything went sideways. Konami wasn’t treating their heritage with respect.

This week has been a roller-coaster. But it is as I say: At one point there needs to be a cosmic-suck to balance out the good karma heading our way.

2 people of importance of my life left this earth yesterday, one being my father-in-law who passed away at 6:13 am, February 12th after a proposed 7 months of battle with cancer in his bones and lungs. He was in good spirits until last Monday when everything flipped to the worse.

The doctor insisted many times they would only allow 1 visitor per day for each of the people who are in the elderly-home to minimize and prevent the spread of Covid-19, but this week was the first time in 4 months I had seen him.But for this once, they would allow me to enter the building to see him together with my significant other.

This was last Thursday. The doctor said the lungs are not producing enough oxygen, rendering my father-in-law unable to communicate through speech and he was too weak to even hold a pen or point of the sounds of the Japanese hiragana-system. I’ve never seen a person struggle so hard to catch air with so much pain at once. It hit me so hard and I promised myself I would not go out like that when I’m old. (This is why I don’t smoke kids, you look younger as a result.)

Already the week before I started to change my lifestyle, teaching from home I decided not to sit down anymore after I had a conversation with my friend in Maryland who said his health just gotten a lot worse previously, starting him to get some kind of urine-infection and small cases of kidney stones. That was the moment I decided no more to be “inactive”, even though working from home in these hard times naturally made a lot of people gain weight. I try to see any spot where I could get in a few squats, push-ups, high-kicks/knees, one-leg yoga balancing exercises out of view while teaching. I’ve started to feel the effects after a week and even more interesting, I will start to eat more apples as a result.

Now, let’s move over to the legend, Chick Corea...

First time I heard Chick Corea was a tape my father had, simply called “Friends”.

I was probably around 5 or 6 years old and the cover of these toys performing a musical tune made me love the album.

Legendary players in the line-up who then made great solo-careers like the like of:

Joe Farrell – soprano saxophone, tenor saxophone, flute

Eddie Gómez – double bass

Steve Gadd – drums

I think through this album Joe Farrell was one of the first saxophone players that started to peek my interest for the melodies that Chick had written and later on, Chick would be an influence of some of my fusion-numbers, especially Zeku’s theme I wrote for SFV in season 2.

My fears are gone.

I spoke to the higher ups today and they also said that the person I was referring to is not on their platform, but his name still runs in circles in the community.

The leader from L.A basically said that I had unfortunately seen some of the bad behavior they would not tolerate from anyone in the forum and of course we both agreed that my post was a little bit different, but it had nothing to do with ScoreCast as a whole. So it was not a ScoreCast issue and I’m happy and glad that we can put that behind us.

I know the Japanese chapter are doing well, even thought we haven’t spoken or interacted due to the crazy year of 2020. Everyone was busy trying to get their act together and how to survive and adapt to the new situation.

Again I put out my findings about Jacktrip, the community seems to love the idea and hopefully one day me and my chapter co-administrators would love to take it for a spin. We just have to agree what software to use and then I’d be back on my EWI jamming with 2 great keyboard players. I can finally start to feel the good energy coming back.

Bathtub is done filling up so I call it the day! Take care wonderful people out there and keep listening to good music!

Actually, I have found this audio-extension for low-latency audio drivers for over a year, but let’s talk about it here for the first time.

Jacktrip is an audio-extension software solution that allows itself to place itself on-top of the audio-source of any known chat-apps like Skype and Zoom, to be able to let musicians who live from a distance to be able to Jam in real-time.

Skype and Zoom in reality if you have a guy calling from L.A to talk to someone in New York, the direct line in communication if we could travel by the speed of light would be about 11ms. But the networks that we add to our communication will start to chip away on that smooth “direct” line. Anything we place on it will extend the latency.

First we have the computer/tablet, which then by itself will not be able to really punch up the audio-quality, so here we add the sound-card which would in reality be able to make the sound more direct if we record instruments into our computer. The attack from the moment we press down a key on a piano, the hammer swings and then hit the string, that process is about 11ms. We can reach that kind of result if we attach a midi-keyboard, the computer process the midi-signal, translate that into a note/velocity value and then play it back to us in the same amount of time. It’s still a lot of calculations being made in that small time-frame.

Now, if we would use the standard Skype or Zoom to broadcast this audio over the internet for the other person to hear and start jamming to, with all that gear between the computer and audio-interface we have now started to reach a latency online from 11ms to 113ms, which would affect the way we feel, interact with sloppy timing. The audio-communication programs only job is produce sound and video, but only to its basic needs. Talking fine, but jamming along, not so.

Enter: Jacktrip

The bi-directional audio plugin that you add on-top of your chat software to enact a high-resolution audio signal with about 10-15ms of latency, making it possible for musicians to finally practice and jam with other performers of the internet. In quarantine times, this open-source software was programmed by and developed by students at Stanford University and operates under the license by Paul Davis, Stephane Letz, Jack O'Quinn, Torben Hohn, Filipe Coelho and others.

A musicians dream to finally jam with others online, get your chops done and practice for the next summer tour. It is here, but you might need to do a little bit of typing in command line to get it to work. And if you’re software savvy, you’ll be able to improve on the code and extend its purpose.

So far I have seen 2 guys, a piano player and a drummer, both living about 3-4 miles away from each other, playing in sync to show the concept and proof of that this is really happening. Another video shows a jazz trio (Piano, Bass, drums) playing in sync as well.

If this ever become a fully paid software that would be easy to install to improve the abilities of audio inside Skype and Zoom I would buy it. But now it is even better. IT IS FREE. But some tinkering might be required.

Here are some examples:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEAwL3uQDKU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8fVuBnm07ug

When I was young, my childhood wasn’t very good, the music was the only way to comfort me and to feel like I belonged somewhere in the world. But the school... I hated every minute of it once I opened up my mouth and said the words: I’m from the village 13 km away from town.

I was forever branded an outcast for the rest of my student life.

My 2 elderly brothers were of course more social than me, but once we moved from the village where I had a few friends, I lost them all. I was alone and tried to find friends on the school grounds. I managed to secure about 2 friends and we all ended up in circles and common classes from elementary all the way up until we finished junior high.

Tobias, a tall, gentle giant. Smart and an academic. He went later on to study the nature-science program at the college.

Oskar, we were both computer-nerds and musicians in the communal music-school. He was and still is incredibly smart and tech-savy clarinet player. However, when we reached 5th grade he had to move with his family down to the south-part of Sweden and we only had mail correspondence. Or at least he sent letters from places from all over Europe to keep in contact with me until we managed to establish contact back in 2010.

The rest of the class was against me. I was hoping to secure one more friend who had just moved all the way from Lulea, far up north, about 3000km. A tiny guy but a good drum-player.

However, turned out the last guy would be one of the most horrible people who would make my life a living hell together with all the other bullies. I’m sure he got away with it just because he plays drums because it was “cool”. Turned out he was a complete douche.

Ever since then I had to lie to my parents, not getting anyone involved in my daily bouts of being called names, singled out in soccer-games or any activity, being picked last for the team etc. I had to lie EVERY DAY to not make my parents cry.

White lies... they protected my parents from my antagonists, but I was living in that mess all the way up until I completed Music-college.

I finally got away from it when I could start focusing on what I wanted to do in a new town, new people. I felt I could start fresh and I decided from now on, I would like to be open and honest without fearing for my parents.

I take respect seriously and most of all, being called a liar when I have recollection of actions in the back of my head are crystal-clear. The brain has a tendency to really focus on the bad and preserve it for long lenghts of time.

What I posted yesterday is not a freak accident of what I have experienced, but to call me a liar is the last thing you should do. I’ve honored my mistakes, manned up and taken it on the plate. I will no longer be talked “down” to, or never should anyone else in our profession not be treated as equals of what I witnessed.

D2 really lost his shit last night, calling me names that are not flattering, accusing me of slandering him, but I did not attach his name to anything, but I know why. I kept the post pretty vague and he called me out on it, so he must have recognized his own bad behavior. I did the only thing I could to let him save face. To delete the comment because obviously he called himself out in the matter and made him look like an asshole in the process. But it turns out, I’m not not the only one who has experience this behavior from him. Other forums have actually banned him in certain instances because of bad decorum. So I’m not wrong in my post, because as a “chapter”-co-leader,I feel we have responsibility to make sure that people behave in a certain manner around us in these groups.

But calling me a liar, go ahead, doesn’t support your case and I will have a little bit of a deeper talk with the other members on what we should do.

When I was a kid, playing Street Fighter II, all the way up to Super Street Fighter II Turbo, E. Honda was one of those characters you either love or hate. For me he was in the middle because of his way of dealing with attacks from above with his huge arm always caught my Ken or Fei Long in mid air, rendering my attacks utterly useless.

Back in the day, we weren’t sure about his personality at all with only grunting noises and the occasional “DOSUKOI!” knocking out his opponents with ease. But knowing now, thanks to the voice-actor bringing his personality to life, I start to love him even more.

With his return in Street Fighter IV, after being absent from Street Fighter III (which technically takes place after Street Fighter V) he really started to become alive with his kinda manner-awareness about the people around him. As a true Japanese individual with the values and respect in the right place and with the heart to follow.

I think when we all saw the Street Fighter II coin-up for the first time, it was all based around stereotypes and shallow depictions of all the nations being represented, and this being right after the fall of the Berlin Wall, the cold war was still present for a while before USSR broke up into smaller states.

Each character-stage was given an incredible piece of music that really helped these characters to really become true contenders to be memorable and loosen up the stereotype and really become characters, all thanks to Yoko Shimomura’s melodic talent and being able to craft original songs based on other popular tunes of the time (Cheap Trick - Mighty Wings, which should have been on Guile’s stage, but moved the thing to become Ken’s Theme instead to hide the obvious Top Gun reference) and being able to make the melodies seem kinda consistent with each other. Take Ken’s theme and then listen to Guile’s stage, they kind of overlap. Sometimes when I write covers of Street Fighter II music I end up with a few melodic bars from Ken’s Theme before I drop back in Guile’s music again.

But the song that didn’t have this problem was E. Honda’s Theme. Very distinct, hard Taiko-rim shots and a great melody, makes his song instantly quotable. But since Yoko Shimomura had to rely on the FM and PCM based CPS1 Sound-board, trying to imagine all the acoustic instruments into electric form must have been a challenge.

Never in my wildest dreams would I think that I (A SWEDE!) had to write a piece of pop-cultural music, so incredibly Japanese, that the responsibility would land in my lap. But there were a few twists to the story on how we ended up with my first HOMERUN for Capcom.

But before we begin, let’s make it a straight and clear... I don't want to out anybody, but I guess it isn't news because we are all aware that these community/forum problems/people exists, no matter the content or platform.

In the community of film-composers, game-music composers, Audio-directors, Sound-designers and perhaps music supervisors, the film-composer forum/community has been one of the first stepping stones to help and most of all build new relationships with people in the industry.

I’ve always had the image of this community to be about being equal, nobody was above or below, but talking to each other on the level. All that was required to enter was 1 IMDB credit (Internet Movie Data Base), get it verified and then you were in this very exclusive groups.

But so far, the idea was sound, we started to establish a group of a mix of westerners and Japanese composers, and the idea was to share ideas, help people who wants to break into the Japanese scene and the AAA-gaming industry. However, we only had a few meetups and 2 of them happened in a very interesting place in Korean Town in Tokyo. We ended up in the home of former On Tour QUEEN Keyboardist Morgan Fischer, who in turn was one of the first names I remember on an instruction manual for the Yamaha DX7. The first gathering brought about 7-8 members and we talked, showed each other what we do and then we enjoyed general talk, jamming and had a lot of fun. There I also ran into another young guy, who just scored an iPAD app. Let’s call him R2.

A few months later I was contacted by someone from the U.K community chapter, a young lad, with ideas on how things should be and he asked me if we should meet up and talk a little bit since he knew I’ve written music for Resident Evil 6 at this point, so I felt honored and thought let’s help each other out. Let’s call this guy D2.

D2 is now at first glance, I thought he was an OK guy, and I showed him around the city, we talked a little about ourselves and then I had to get back to my ordinary job as a teacher afterwards. He’s very focused on keeping up a fashion and to look cool... all the time. At this I didn’t really care, but I told him that if you want to have a chance at pitching to get into the industry, perhaps he should meet one of my agents. So I arranged that, brought him over to the agency, took about 1 hour, sitting down talking to one of the toughest and impressive women in the industry. She asked about his ambitions and why he was in Japan for a casual tourist visit and in the end the question came: - “What game would you like to write music for in the future?” -”Metal Gear...” was his answer.

He already told me before the meeting that he always wanted to work on a MGS project but I felt a little bit guilty but I told D2: -”I can’t guarantee anything about the chances of getting that kind of gig as a first from that agency. But they’ll try to find something up your alley.” The agent said that would be hard one to get him into because they only like to work with established artists on their MGS franchise, so getting it would seem to be impossible at this point, since we didn’t know that it was being developed at the moment, or so it had been in secret.

He returned back to Europe and I was on my own again. But we promised that we’d follow each other on the platforms and he said he’d try to promote me to get a few more followers on twitter (Duh, he didn’t, naive as usual.) and give a shout-out on his “incredible” YouTube channel devoted to his brand of a software/kontakt library creator. Nothing came to fruition on that front. I sure did give him a shout-out and told people about him, but I got nothing in return.

A few months later he returns and he decides to meet with me again, so I thought, what is it this time? Well, turns out he was back in Tokyo again for a business meeting or something, however he also met someone last time he was in Tokyo and decided to say hi to his girlfriend.  So we all 3 went out to a cafe in Shinjuku area and we sat down and talked about film, games and music since we all were kinda in that industry. But since I know he is passionate about “EPIC” music as he would call it, we (me and his girlfriend) started to talk about Star Wars and he was .... incredibly ignorant. I told him, if you want to hear EPIC music, these are the films you have to see.

I told him: -“John Williams is the reason I am here. The reason I started to do film-scoring and bringing that into cinematic games like Resident Evil 6.” -”Who's John Williams? Never heard of him...” was his response.

Me and his girlfriend were completely flabbergasted of this guys total ignorance of a film-defining classic that changed film-music for science-fiction, approaching it with an operatic execution, giving characters themes, music that flowed with the action like those old golden-era film styles, but modernized for a new generation of movie-goers. It was the biggest risk, bringing in an orchestra for a sci-fi fantasy, but it paid off. Orchestral music was COOL again. Without John Williams, we wouldn’t have one of the first hybrid-action scores in Return of the Jedi with big thick synthbasses in Jabba’s Palace for that ominous uncertain character that turned out to be Leia unfreezing Han Solo from his carbonation chamber. Minimal amount of synth, but it was there.

The ignorance of D2 started to show. But I didn’t want that to be the moment, so I told his girlfriend to sit down and watch those films together. Not sure if they did, but it was here I started to feel the “British twit” mentality, the “I am better than thou”, the “I’m in my 20′s and I have already figured out the meaning of life...” All he had was his own business back home generating the dough in making sample-based kontakt-libraries. Good on him.

Then a few month’s later, I saw something on his YouTube channel that really started to kill my vibe for the dude. Whenever when I work for big companies like Konami, Capcom or Sega, I always sign an NDA. That mean’s I’m not allowed to record or show off my work for projects that are in progress. But here he is, talking about his cues he’s composing in real-time on YouTube. My first thought was, maybe I should tell anybody about this, but I don’t want to be a buzz-kill. I decided I didn’t want to butt in. Perhaps he would learn something from that mistake. Or did he?

A few months later D2 came back, now the game was pretty much in it’s final stages and he decided to meet me up together with R2 and we went out to yet another cafe, talking about software and stuff. Before we even met up with R2, D2 started to ask me if I had any registration keys for some software he didn’t own... I’m now getting even more confused. Is he asking me for pirate copies??? I just can’t make this one slide, so I’ll just stay quiet. R2 shows up, they start to make fun out of my English, my use of words in fun ways. I know the Britt’s and the Australians share the dry word humor, but I told them that I really like to perform on real hardware and twisting knobs for cutoff filters and stuff. All they wanted was to make fun out of me using the words “I like to turn knobs” (English slang for wanking off people, not my intention since we are talking about synthesizers...) R2 however was sucking up to D2 due to his huge following on YouTube and Twitter, so my point of view was completely irrelevant for R2. I had made valid points, but D2 shot me down, R2 is right behind him like a narcissists flying monkey.

This was the moment where I felt I should distance myself from D2 for trying to acquire pirate software keys, asking me if I had any cool software etc. He’s bloody rich. He should buy the software like everyone else, especially guys like me. I pulled a small ploy and pretended I got a phone-call from an agency going;

*hanging up the phone* -”...Sorry guys, it’s seems to me something important has just landed in my lap and I have to leave you here, but I wish you all good on your ventures. Take care and talk to you guys later.”

From that moment, I was just exhausted from R2 and D2. They are a perfect fit for each other. But the ignorance and bluntness from D2 lost all of his credibility for me and I just said to myself quietly I just have to keep fighting my own battle in an uphill, serving D2 with the best kind of courtesy I’ve learned from the Japanese and being shit on in the process. He doesn't respect many of us, so I’ll now don’t give a damn.... I need closure. And with a snap of my fingers, all the bad went away.

After leaving these thoughts to you, I’m ready to let go and start a new future in the land of music production. But one thing is for sure, I'm done with the charade.

Well, sorry to say, the year 2020 is like a shit-sandwhich and we all have to take a bite.

I don’t want to sound negative but our hell in Japan begun in January this year, and I was staying in a hotel for a week instructing engineering and sales staff for a very legendary Japanese export company. This was also the time Japan started to receive the news at the time simply named Corona. 

What made the situation even more infuriating now was that the hotel also was crawling with Chinese-tourists who was quite oblivious to what is going on in their home country. But as any person hearing about the news, we started to take precautions before the government did. I didn’t touch floor-buttons in the elevator from Wednesday that week. I started to hear more and more Chinese in the hallways, but kept myself away on distance.

But the virus won’t be bound to a nationality. So at one point after that we were all like, heck, yeah, not only the Chinese, but Japanese business-men going to China are as much the culprits bringing it back into the country. And soon, we went into lockdown at the end of February. A little bit too late,

Lost most of my music-work and planned tours. I heard recently I was supposed to be on tour with Cool and the Gang as their virtual brass-master, that would’ve been a sweet gig though. Then we were suppose to perform for people during the Olympics. All that out of the window as well. So technically all the stuff I said here was down.

Then I remembered I was doing something with an AI audio-separation tool of a singer colleague of mine, Donna Burke (singer behind Metal Gear Solid series) and was tinkering around with separating her vocals from one of her anime-songs called “Glassy Sky”. I sent it too her, resulting in my officially getting new vocals of her into my version. All we need to do there now is publishing it and I can registered with my Royalty Organization.

Then the bad stuff really start to hit hard. Family matters on my wife’s side, things beyond our control, not our problem technically, but the thing about death in the family brings a whole-baggage of scary stuff. Heritage. This is something I am not qualified to talk on, but all I can do I to support her, telling her she has done nothing wrong. That on top of other pressing family matters that are all out of our control.

This is where in the end of October, I kinda had to make an ultimatum, to find a full-time employment and give up on music on my end. I gave it my all, applying to institutions in Japan. As a language instructor I feel I am no longer “hot” on the market to teach kids, so I’m concentrating hard to get my feet inside the door of either Business-clients or work for IKEA.

Then I started to look for Music Production Houses in Tokyo and I ran into maybe the people who could change my life... I am at the very end, but if I can make the change, I believe I can save not only my wife’s current situation, I’d be able to maybe get ourselves debt free. It’s all the waiting game now. Let’s hope something good turns out.

Until I talk to you guys again. Please be safe, wash your hands and remember I love you.

/Yours truly,

https://twitter.com/FallenCityBrawl/status/1278009751218069505?s=20

Been working hard to realize one man’s dream in a new, under development Beat ‘em up game named “Fallen City Brawl”, created by Mike Wells, with music by Yours Truly.

Right now, the trailer is up and is the only way I have helped so far to give the idea what this game could be all about. But I can say, the process of creating a complete soundtrack from start to finish would be a dream come true if the Kickstarter starting from August 4th will generate interest.

Received the awful message that one of my friends/classmate/collaborators when I studied at Disney Studios in Karlskoga (KM-Studios) sadly passed away last week and I got these news last night.

I’ve taken time since last night time to reminisce and I will continue doing so just to process my admiration for that amazing guy.

Who was he?

He was the lead singer and front-man in a band called Frozen Souls, a band from Gothenburg and he was not only a fantastic singer, he was also something I inspired to become, a funny multi-instrumentalist who laid down the groundwork for my drum-programming for the future to come. Seeing him using the Mueller-technique onto the hi-hat to give the beat that extra drive while saving  energy was one of those moments I told myself: I need to look deeper into that and try to apply that into my orchestrations in the future. (The guy on the left in the picture below.)

I’m sure he will be remembered for his time on this earth and for all the fantastic people he has worked with. Ever since I moved to Japan, one of my goals was (actually for this year) to pay him a visit and hang-out. But Covid-19 has put my plan on ice to come back home to visit.

I wish him and his family, next of kin and friends my most deepest and sincere condolences and I will continue to celebrate the life and genius of Mange Liljegren into my music. Thank you for everything and for the inspiration.

Your friend,

Finally got all my gear setup in Covid-19 times.

3-keyboards, 2 controllers (88-keys and 1 61-keys with aftertouch) and 1 Novation Mini-Nova Synth with a Vocoder.

1 Roland MC-808

1 Korg Electribe 2 (Blue)

1 Korg Pad controller

1 DJ-Tool

All hooked into a mini-mixer going into the Scarlet 6i6.