𝘽𝙭𝙩𝙘𝙝𝙮 𝙂𝙭𝙙𝙙𝙚𝙨𝙨

STORY TIME.

When I was 16 I had recently moved, and was attending a new school. About half-way through the school year, I started dating a guy I was friends with. He and I got on REALLY well. Like yeah we had disagreements and shit, but we always, ALWAYS talked about it and discussed our feelings and why things were making us upset. Every. Single. Time. We had a good system. And when we had disagreements we resolved them immediately. Otherwise we got along SO WELL. It was great I was really freaking happy and he was too!

About six months into my relationship, people, mostly my family members, commented about how WELL we got along…a l m o s t like it was a bad thing. I didn’t really think about it though, too involved in my own brain.

Skip ahead, to about a year-ish in. Friends of mine would sometimes get into fights with their significant others and they’d tell me ALL about it and I’m a good friend so I’d listen and try to give advice. Except I never had anything when they’d ask me, “Oh well what do you do when you and J get into fights??”

And I never had an answer other than “Well we don’t fight.”

And they never believed me. Or worse they’d insist that was UNHEALTHY. “Fighting is healthy, it lets out tension building up! You just need to sometimes!”

I never, EVER EVER felt comfortable with that, and I’d shrug it off and insist we didn’t NEED to fight. Our relationship was ALREADY healthy, especially because of the way we handled disagreements. People never listened and insisted there was something wrong, whether out-right stating it or hinting at it.

Even my best friend insisted that fighting was healthy, and I listened to her on nearly everything. Except for that. I didn’t budge for anyone.

DO NOT LET PEOPLE FOOL YOU. FIGHTING IS NOT HEALTHY. DISAGREEMENTS ARE. BAD DAYS ARE OKAY. LEGITIMATE SCREAMING AND GOD FORBID PHYSICAL VIOLENCE IS. NOT. OKAY!!!

- grew up smart and lost it when they got to high school and dont know what happened

- are so bright but just cant focus academically

- are told their effort isnt good enough when in reality they just dont understand

- are too shy to ask for help and go without it and therefore dont reach the potential they know they have

- are brilliant in class but underperform in exams