im the beta male thats gonna ruin your night

HEARTWARMING: Your Mutual That’s Pushing 30 Kins Master Shake and Laura Palmer

you actually get a +3 to jerking off if you pull your tshirt up over your tits

okay yay <3

hoes mad that im doggy. jealous of my paws and tail. it doesnt have to be this way, u can be a puppy too. u too can play toys and chew on shoes. do it now ☝️ or else

everyone loves meeee bc my fur is soft and my paws are huge and my tail wags so cute and so alluringly

I saw a post on a terf blog before I blocked it from someone being like "Ummm is anybody else really concerned about the rise of antisocial kinks like pissing" and it made me laugh so hard I almost did a little antisocial kink myself

Made a lowball offer on eBay as a joke and it got accepted. uh oh.

in conservation news a newborn wild prius has been observed for the first time in a decade

At the sex shop asking if I can buy a regular sized dildo I can put in my unremarkable asshole but they recognize me as the hero of legend regardless

*pointing at a plushie* you know that thing would cuddle you if you died right